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Sungyeol POV

There was an official meeting sheduled to be held in a village near the capital. It was just a diplomatic duty to meet with officials from some international delegations. The whole royal family was supposed to attend but Myungsoo had not felt good. He was fighting a cold for a while and so when he got a fever, they decided to leave him home and escuse his absence, afterall he was not the important one. I, of course stayed with him.

He was starting to feel a little better afternoon but for some reason he was very anxious. I watched him pacing around the room and tried to make him go back to bed and rest but he couldn´t stay still. I didn´t want to admit it but I also had a bad feeling. At 16:37 we´ve got a phone call. There was an accident. I lost six of my friends and ten colleagues. Myungsoo lost his parents and a brother. The Korea lost their beloved king and queen and prince.

In just a second the whole country fall into the darkness. The royal family was dead. They have passed away and since there was no one else, Myungsoo has become the new king. He didn´t have time to grieve, to cry, to burry his family. The country couldn´t be without the royal head and so in the evening, after a few emergency meetings, there was a quick and urgent ceremony held. Usually, the crowning of the new king was a fest. Music, food, many guests.... everyone was supposed to be happy, to celebrate the new king. But this was different. There were just a few people there, everything was rushed and Myungsoo has taken the crown with red eyes, pale face, slightly trembing. He hold it together. By some miracle, he didn´t broke and went through all the necessary formalities.

When we returned to his quarters late at night, I prepared everything for him to go to sleep and was ready to leave, when we had our first bonding moment.

He grabbed my hand and whispered:

„Don´t go.“ I froze. He has never asked me to stay. Never even touched me unless he had to.

„Do you want me to stay with you tonight?“ I asked. He nodded and even though, I felt happy, my heart was breaking. Because I knew, why he was asking me to stay and I knew he has reached his breaking point. He lost everyone. There was nobody else there for him. Just me. I was the only one left. I went to sit on the chair next to his bed, but he stopped me again.

He came closer and hugged me, his head burried into my chest. My heart jumped to my throat and I lost my breath for a little bit. He started to sob and I felt like a fish out of water. I didn´t know what to do, what to say, so I stayed quiet and just hugged him back. I don´t know how long we stayed there, standing, with him sobbing and me silently crying for him. The time stopped, the world disappeared and all that mattered, was the broken man in my arms that I loved more than anything. Only when I couldn´t feel my legs anymore, I guided him towards the bed and we both lied down. I have never seen him cry before. He was always so composed, so stoic, but tonight his tears could put an ocean to shame. I could physically feel his pain, his despair and anguish. The little rays of sunlight were breaking through the window when he finally fall asleep, exhausted after the tragic day.

I wanted to let him sleep but the funerals were already scheduled so there was no other way... I was afraid how he would deal with the new day after his weak moment but he surprised me once again. He was the perfect member of royal family once again. The perfect king. He didn´t show how he felt at all. Only those who were close to him could see the storm in his eyes. To everyone else he remained the stoic sculpture, he went through the burial ceremonies with expresionless face, his voice didn´t shake giving the speech, his hands didn´t tremble. He has truly became the pillar of the country, the mountain that would not shake with the wind  blowing, but I could see in the depths of his gaze, the trees of his soul fighting against the strong current, bending them, the branches breaking, the leaves falling down...

And when the night came, he again dropped the facade of a public figure and became Myungsoo. Clinging to the last person, he had left, crying his eyes out just as a kid, who had lost his parents and brother should.  I spend the night with him again. I worried, that maybe I should have done something more, say something encouraging or soothing, but I was never good with such things. Then again, sometimes all someone needs is the silent understanding and a shoulder to cry on. At least, it seemed, that it was all, that Myungsoo needed.

The next day he awoke as a new person. He started his studies and doing his tasks as king should. He of course received the training for being a king but it was short and not sufficient. Afterall, he was not supposed to be a king. He was great with languages, diplomacy and of course the country history and traditions but he needed to deepen his knowledge when it came to politics, contract formations, law and economy. He needed to improve his negotiation skills and gain information about important people. He was very busy eliminating his weak points and keeping up with his daily schedule.

He didn´t cry after the second night and he didn´t ask for me again. We went back to being a master and a servant. He was the king and I was his subject. The years just went by in a blink of an eye. And then he reached the age when it was expected of him to get married. So he did. To some beautiful duchees from England. It was the first time, when the royal family married a foreign person but it was portrayed as opening the gates of Korea and deepening the friendship with western countries.

Despite, all the doubters and haters, Myungsoo is a great king. He had not put his family to shame and he easily maintained all of their accomplishments, adding many of his own. The country continued to grow, to gain world´s attention and people adored him. His new wife was beautiful. She was the typical western beauty with pale complexion, blue eyes and blond hair. She had the perfect figure, great style and was very elegant and graceful. She fitted the image of the queen and people were eager to hear news about the pregnancy.

They wanted a heir and so already in the first year of their marriage, they had a beautiful son. Their genes combined perfectly and produced one adorable child. As happy as I wanted to be for him, for my country, I was reaching my endurance point. Except for the two nights, I had with him in that dark period, there were no more close moments between us. I had to live with a pat on my shoulder when I have done exceptionally well in something, a shy smile when he gave me presents for my birthday and Christmas, an accidental brush of our shoulders when we were standing next to each other. I lived for those little moments but seeing him getting married had almost killed me. Myungsoo was not overly affectionate towards his wife, God bless him. I don´t know if I could take them being all lovey dovey on the top of everything else. But still. That doesn't mean, it didn't hurt.

I wanted to stay by his side so badly. I hid my feelings for so long, I wasn't sure I would even know how to express them. However, I couldn't get over him. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't. I belonged to him. And for him, I stayed strong. I didn't cry when he announced his engagement. I didn't cry during the wedding ceremony. I didn't cry when their son was born. My heart slowly turning into a stone. Feelings are a weakness. He was the king and I had to protect him. Maybe if there were others good enough to be in my position I would leave. Maybe, I would decide to stay away but all of the best died back then. There was nobody who could replace me and if there was something more important to me than my love for Myungsoo, it was my duty as a butler. So I stayed.

Just when you think the story is finished, new beginning would arise. Despite my best efforts, I was reaching my end but then it happened again. Another life changing moment came and yanked me out of my prison of mind. 

"Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

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to be continued

a/n: next chapter should finally be Myungsoo POV and I think you will be surprised to see his take on the events and feelings he has :)