Leeteuk went with me to the practice room and tried to entertain me. Somehow he was abvle to distract my minds and I laughed very much with him. But after few hours Kyuhyun came in and Siwon followed him. It was a signal to me to go away. But Leeteuk hold my hand.

“Let’s go together.” He said and left the room with me. I looked back and saw Kyuhyun smiling at Siwon. That hurts.

Leeteuk brought me back into the dorm. There, the guys of Super Junior were absolutely in a great mood. I didn’t want to stay longer there and ran into my room. I was there for just 2 hours but it feels like an eternity. Leeteuk told me that dinner is ready and I came out. Most of the Suju members were sitting around the table and waited for their meal. I sat down next to Donghae and Leeteuk. Ryeowook gave everyone his plate and let them eat. Afterwards Siwon and Kyuhyun came back. Donghae paid his attention to them and looked at Siwon. I watched Donghae looking at Siwon and I cannot say how he feels right now. Then I looked at Kyuhyun and saw him holding hand with Siwon.

“Hey, we’re back” Siwon greeted everyone. “Kyu, sit down okay?” Kyuhyun smiled and kissed Siwon.

Wait… he kissed him?! Didn’t Leeteuk said that Siwon want Donghae?!

Donghae saw this and stood up and then he disappeared. Everyone looked at him, Kyuhyun as well. He looked like regretting it. But I also stood up.

“Zhou-Mi, stay here.” I just shook my head and tear my hand away. Then I ran into my room and locked the door. There I cried into my pillow. God, Siwon and Kyuhyun… a couple… WonKyu or what?! How could that happened? They seemed so happy but their happiness make two boys very sad. I don’t want Kyuhyun being sad, lonely or hurt but I also don’t want him being happy with Siwon. I know, the voice of jealousy is speaking there… but I cannot hold it back. I don’t like this game because I am the loser.

Later I was calmed down again and left my room. I went into the kitchen and took some of the food. I knocked on Donghaes door and he opened.

“Hi Donghae, want to eat something?” I gave him a plate full of food. But he shook his head. “Come on, just a bit, okay?” He thought about that and then he let me came inside.  I sat down on his bed and waited that he sat down next to me. Then he took some food and ate it. But not that much…

“Zhou-Mi… I’m sorry about you. It’s me who’s the problem that you cannot be with Kyuhyun.”

“No, you aren’t. But you have to explain something to me. Why don’t you want to sleep with Siwon? You asked me instead.” I looked at him.

“It is… because… it’s my first time, you know? And Siwon is a y and handsome guy and won’t be careful with me. I am just…a bit afraid.”

“Then tell him what’s up and heal understand it. I am sure.”

“Not now anymore. Kyuhyun and Siwon have a relationship now, I am too late.”

“Nothing is “too” late. Donghae… you love him, right? Then go and tell him! You cannot just wait that anything will change. You need to be brave; you need to have a heart of courage. But it’s your decision whether you will or not. And it’s your decision whether Kyuhyun can be mine or not.” I know I blackmail him right now. But I can get Kyuhyun, if Donghae had the strength to tell Siwon the truth.

“Stop it! Idiot! It is not only my fault that we both are unlucky. You didn’t even tell Kyuhyun that you love him, isn’t it so?! Don’t say it’s only my fault. If you want to have Kyuhyun, then go and tell him what you feel!” Shocked I looked at him and saw his eyes full off tears. I took his hand and smiled.

“I know you’re right. Let’s do it together.” Right when I said it, Kyuhyun came in and listened to my words. His face turned white and he looked at me. Until I know what I told to Donghae, I saw Kyuhyun run away. I stood up and followed him but too late. He was gone.