Kyuhyun needs his friend, he needs me and I like this feeling to be needed. So I took care of him. But the next evening, Kyuhyun doesn’t come to my room, he went to Siwon ones. This moment I understood what “friend” means for Kyuhyun; “A member of the Society of Friends”, the last definition the dictionary for “friend”. But Siwon isn’t really the one who supports and sympathizes with one. He just listens to one and tells it another one. And I know Kyuhyun knows that. Then why Kyuhyun visit Siwon of all people?! Why not me? Had I done something bad? I don’t know…

Kyuhyun didn’t come out this night anymore. I guessed I heard some voices of them… They said their names or they whispered them. But I could hear them. It seemed to me, that they had with each other. I stood up and went to the door of Siwons room. Slowly I pressed the doorknob and looked inside. Siwon light was on and they showed me their bodies, pressed on each other, moaned and full of sweat. I was shocked as I recognized that Kyuhyun laid under Siwon and looked like enjoying what happened. I wanted to get into the room and wanted to pull Siwon down but then somebody took my hand. I turned around and wanted to scream at the one but the one put his hand onto my mouth.

“Let them do this.” Donghae said. I was shocked because I though Donghae likes Siwon? “I know it’s hard to see this…”, he closed the door, ”… but we cannot do anything against that.”

“Donghae, how can you watch Siwon during… sleeping with somebody else? Doesn’t it hurt you?”

“It hurts really bad… What should I do in your opinion? Strutting in and catching Siwon?” he asked me with tears in his eyes. I know Donghae wasn’t strong enough to do this as well as I was. Donghae threw me into his room. “Let’s sleep with each other as well…” he said but I shook my head fast.

“No. You cannot do this to Siwon. Let’s be cleverer than them and let it be.” Donghae nodded and laughed a big.

“I’m a bit dumb… Sorry, Zhou-Mi. I am really hurt and I need someone to hold me. And you are the one who is hurt as well and the only one who can understand what I’m feeling right now. Please stay here this night. Okay? I just want to cuddle with someone and I need someone who takes care about me before I hurt myself…” I knew what Donghae meant so I nodded and went with him into his bed. There I threw him into my arms and pressed him onto my body. Then I cuddled with him until he fell asleep. But I still could hear the voices of Siwon and Kyuhyun and took my earphones. I started listen to some music and I fell asleep after 2 songs. I was listening to Kyuhyuns song '광화문에서 (At Gwanghwamun)' and stared to cry because of his beautiful voice. It reminds me of a calm time, times before Kyuhyun became this, times before I fell in love with him… I recognized that these times weren’t these I wanted to have. But these ones now, aren’t these times either.

“Oh Kyuhyun, please see that I love you. Please stop these activities there and come to me.” I whispered. I was so hurt…

The next morning I woke up and looked around. There was no Donghae but there laid someone else. I the head of the men and saw that Kyuhyun lay there… totally . Only few minutes later I noticed that I wasn’t in Donghaes room anymore. But who the hell brought me into the room? I guessed it was Donghae. But later I was sure that only Siwon has the strength to carry me. But why he did that? Did he change his mind and wanted to be with Donghae? For me it was inexplicable. However, I was at Kyuhyun. I was happy.