My feelings for Kyuhyun are a bit strange. I don't know whether it's just friendship or more. I have to find out but I couldn't because everyone would notice it as well. Never mind, somehow it will work. But these days I am busy with my schedules for Rewind. I also didn't see Kyuhyun for a while now; I guess I already have withdrawal symptoms or something like that. I cannot stop thinking about him and then I sang the wrong text or just forgot the words. Kyuhyun makes me insane but doesn't know it. He will never know that because I don't want to tell him. But this plan failed. This evening Siwon came with me and noticed what went wrong. And then he realized that I fall for somebody.

„Siwon, what did you say? I am in love? Nonsense.” I told him but he just laughed.

“Zhou-Mi… It is obviously that you fall for somebody… Is just a question of time until I'll find out who's your secret crush.” He looked at me and grinned. I believed him because he is able to do it…

Later we went home. Siwon grinned all the time and scared me.

“Why do you stare at me? Did I do something wrong?” Siwon turned his head to me. I widened my eyes and shook my head.

“Sorry Siwon.” I apologize and went into my room. There I laid me onto my bed and pressed my head onto the pillow.

“” I screamed. Siwon will find it out but how should I explain that to him? How should I explain that to Kyuhyun?

Someone knocked on my door.

“Come in.” I said without knowing who the knocking one was.

“Hey hyung.” Kyuhyun said. I sat up and looked at him. Then I started smiling.

“Hey dongsaeng. How are you? What’s up?”

“I’m sad… Zhou-Mi, do you know that Changmin is dating a girl of SNSD? I didn’t.”

“Everyone knew that, Kyuhyun. I thought you were the first who knew this. You are his best friend, aren’t you? Maybe he didn’t want to hurt you with these news?” I guessed and he pressed his head against my waist.

“But he did. He hurt me.  Zhou-Mi…. what’s the meaning of “best friend” when there is no symbol behind it? I hate him. He can do what he wants to do with his girl but now I am mad about him. Forever.” Kyuhyun cried into my Shirt. I his head and kissed him there.

“Calm down Kyuhyun. …” I said but it was the only thing I could say. I felt so sorry about him but I cannot do anything for him. That made me sad. “Did you already talk to Leeteuk about this?” He shook his head.

“Leeteuk don’t know everything and sometimes I just need my friends and not my leader, understand?”

“But I though, you and Leeteuk…”

“We are just maknae and leader, not more. Can we cuddle? I like cuddeling.” He just said and nestled onto my shirt. I laid my arms around him and cuddled him.  

Some things were in my mind and I thought about them. So, Kyuhyun and Changmin are not so close anymore and Leeteuk is only his leader, nothing more. And then this phrase… “sometimes I just need my friends” Am I a real friend for him? Or did he say that just because he was hurt? I don’t know but I cannot imagine. And this feeling right now… What is that?