chapter 6

 

 

Okay, there's only one question bothering me the whole way back form school until the moment my back hits the mattress.

What should I do?!

I'm not ready to face this, I'm not ready to feel it, I'm not even ready to see him yet.

Eotteokhae?!

I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to do. I remember exactly what happened to our breakup before, and the pain is too much for both of us to bear. I can't take the pain 8 years ago, and feeling the same pain again? Can I? Can I even meet him?

On second thought, why did I even want to break up with him? What did he do to make me do this? What did I do to do this choice? What happened to him? What happened to me? Who was involved in this decision? What made me break up with him? Who made me break up with him? What did...

Okay, I should stop. These questions are killing my head. A nice bath should do, right?

Taking off my clothes, I took my towel and head for the bathtub. As I drown myself in the hot water, I thought of lots of things. I remember exactly what happened 8 years ago.

And I think it's time for me to go back into the memory lane...

February 20, 8 years ago...

"Baekoong oppa, we need to talk." I started as we sat on a bench, facing Han River.

"What is it, Rene? Is something the matter?" He asked caringly as he put his hand on my head, gently playing with my hazel hair. I took in the warmth and feel of his hands as I knew I wouldn't feel it anymore.

"You see, things has been happening these days, and you know how my problems are rising as times goes by. You also know how busy you are with the senior year and your theater team preparing for the spring theater these days..." I started off. Baekhyun didn't say a thing and continued playing with my hair.

"We've been busy with our own private lives. Plus our own schedules, classes, works and not to mention our different ways of living. We haven't had much time to for each other lately too, and sometimes I think, are we still something?" I continued. I felt Baekhyun's hand stopped as he left them resting on my head. I knew, he was slowly processing my words.

"I've been thinking lately, that our differences isn't helping us in any way. People say opposites attract, but I don't think that line suits us. I don't think there's any line that suits us at all at this rate. So, Baekoong, I think..." I can't say those words. I can hear Baekyun's breathing starting to get a bit faster. I know he's nervous for my next words. I know he knows what I'm to say next. I know that he knows.

"...I think we should break up..." Finally, those words came out of my mouth. Bitterly.

I didn't hear any response from Baekhyun, so I thought he was still processing my words. I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks as the atmosphere turned tense. After a few minutes of silence, he finally started to talk. Even just one word. "Why...?"

I knew he was going to ask that.

I snapped out from my 'memory lane' as I heard my phone ringing. Good thing I had it near me in the bathroom. "Hello?"

"Ireneeee!!!~~~" I heard the most cutesy voice of my life. Who was it? Who else? Krystal Jung.

"What do you want, Krys?" I asked with my lazy voice.

I heard her giggles at the other end of the line. "Just want to ask, do you need my company for tonight? Jackson might be going there too along with Baekhyun sunbaenim, so I don't want my bestie to get teased by that guy." She said concernly. Really? I won't fall for that easily, Krys. She just want to annoy our date, and from what I remember, Jackson didn't come along.

So, I'm not going to do the same mistake of bringing her along. Again.

"No Krys, I'll be fine. And Jackson ain't comin' along, Jackson said he had visitors coming tonight. So, no."

"But Irene...!"

"I know your agenda, Krystal. You just want to annoy us dating. So, rather than you bother us, be useful and help me dress up, will you? I know you're a fashionista, girl." I stated as I waited for her answer. After a few ignored whines, she finally talked. "Okay, I'll be there in an hour..." We said our goodbyes hung up as I continued savouring the hot bath provided by myself.

After around 10 minutes, I walked out of the bathroom in my bathroom and dried my hair with another clean towel. I rested myself on the bed again and thought of what will happen tonight.

"Am I ready to face this again...?"

"Should I change what had happen and continue my relationship with Baekhyun...?"

"No, I should let it the way it was..."

"But maybe less painful than before..."

"Should I even think about this?!"

"Argh!" I shouted as I sat up. I was getting nervous as time pass by. I looked around my room to see what had changed in 8 years. As my eyes set on my study table, I realized another envelope resting on a book. "Another...?" I asked myself. Walking towards the table, I sat down and opened the envelope. "I should keep them in case something happens..." I mumbled. There laid a set of familiar handwritings. "The same person?"

Dear Irene,

It's me again. Wondering who am I? Like I said, that isn't important for now. How's school? Feeling weird since you're actually working now, and Krystal already married Jackson. And now, you're back being a student with two idiots that always bicker with each other named Krystal Jung and Jackson Wang. I know you miss those moments they bicker, am I not right?

I'm here to ask a question; Are you ready for tonight?

Surely you're not. After a painful heartbreak 8 years ago, you have to face it all over again now. It's okay, it's part of the process. Oh, remember what I said about you can change the past?

I prefer if you keep this one as it is. It's better if you guys break up.

Why? You'll know.

Everything that happened 8 years ago have something behind it, but you didn't think much of it. Now that you're actually experiencing the same thing all over again, I hope that you would stop and think, why did this happen in the first place? What triggered it? It gives you answers you never knew before.

It gives you the reasons why it happened. It will be useful for the future.

I'm sorry, but I'll have to go now. Though, I'll be leaving a tip for the pain to be less for tonight.

Here's the tip; Don't use the same words you've used before.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Don't use the same words I've used before? What does that mean?

Ding dong!

Krystal is here already?!

I rushed down the stairs, my bathrobe still covering my body. Opening the front door, I was welcomed with a bear hug by my best friend. "Good to see you, Rene! So, what should I help for tonight?" She asked as both of us walked to my bedroom after I locked the front door.

"Well, you can help me with everything needed for a date with Baekhyun." I said to her. "And, not complicated, please. It's just a date, not a wedding, so simple make-up, outfit and hairstyle is fine to me." I continued. I remembered what happened before, and god, it wasn't pleasant. High heels with a cocktail dress plus curly hair and not to mention, make-up for weddings? No, not gonna happen again.

Wow, what 'anonymous' said is true. It gives me thinking on what happened before, and I could prevent it from happening again. Thanks, 'anonymous'.

I closed the door of my bedroom and Krystal went straight to my wardrobe. "Hmm, something simple yet beautiful..." I heard her mumbling to herself and she looked through my dresses. "Aha! This should do!" She said out loud and pulled out a knee-length dress. It was simple indeed, the sleeves weren't very short, and the designs were beautiful. It has a red belt-like line at the waist and the dress itself was white with some red lines at the end. It was beautiful indeed.

Though, I dind't remember having this dress in the first place...?

"This will be perfect. Now, before changing, let's put on some make-up and style your hair..." She exclaimed.

pulling me in front of my dresser, she pulled out styling things from her bag that I didn't recall seeing and started doing her magic after pulling my hair into a ponytail.

10 minutes passed by, and she finished putting make-up on my face. She didn't stop her hands as they started doing their work on my hair.

Another 10 minutes passed and her hands finally stopped moving. She let out a relieved sigh as she turned me around to face the mirror. "Like it?" She asked. I was in awe just by looking at my reflection. Simple, yet beautiful.

My hair wasn't any different from before. She put some light brown highlights as my hair is hazel, and curled a bit at the ends of some parts of my hair. Then, she made two small braids from either sides of my head and meet them at the center where she made a small ponytail, following the rest of my hair. Small parts of my hair near my ears fell down, hiding the starting points of the braids perfectly.

Not to mention the make-up. The eye shadow consists of white, grey and red rested itself beautifully over my eyes, and the mascara wasn't very visible either. Pinkish red lipstick made itself on my lips, matching the color of my dress. She didn't put any blusher, which I was grateful for since I dislike blushers, and the foundation she used wasn't really thick. I think she didn't use any foundation, but only used face power that matches my skin tone. It looks natural, I like it.

What can I say? Krystal is a fashionista, and by fashionista, I mean head-to-toe fashionista.

That's why I love her.

"This is beautiful, Krys. I love it..." I said with a low voice. Krystal gave a sweet smile after hearing my thoughts. "Anything for my sister..." She answered. I looked at my berdoom's clock and realized that I had an hour before the promised time. "One more hour, Krys." I exclaimed. She nodded and said, "So let's get you finished."

I put on my dress while she search for matching accessories and footwear for me. In less than 5 minutes, she came back to me bedroom. "Didn't find much, but I think these are okay." She said as she put the things on my bed. They were simple, very simple indeed.

A silver necklace with a small heart shaped ruby pendant paired with a pair of red ruby earrings and a charm braclet. A sliver chained sling bag was there too, with white, red and grey colours on it. And the shoes, they were beautiful. They weren't high heels, but these red flats were perfect for my dress. I hugged my best friend, thanking her for everything she did for me tonight.

"Don't mention it, Rene. You're my best friend, and this is the best I could do for you." She replied. "I advice you to go now, don't want Baekhyun sunbaenim to wait, right?" I answered with a soft smile.

Now, I'm on my way to Han River, where we're supposed to meet. I checked inside my bag to make sure everything is there. "Keys, check. Phone, check. Pocket watch, check. ID, check. Purse, check."

After 15 minutes of journey, I finally arrived. At my arrival, what I saw was a familiar person.

"Byun Baekhyun..." I muttered his name as he smiled at my appearance. I smiled back and started walking towards him.

Here goes nothing.