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As his numb fingers comb through her straight, copper hair, he thinks. What does her fine hair feel like to the touch? Like silk ribbons? Like the down of young birds? He wonders... as his fingers run through its length. Not one tangle stops him from coasting... all the way to the very tips. The lightness of his wife's hair is almost unnatural... as if he has run his fingers through it too many times, stripping away its healthy weight.
"JJ..."
"Hmm?"
"I could reheat dinner. Are you positively sure you're not hungry? Aren't you always hungry after work?"
"No... well... not tonight." He replies, experiencing no physical hunger. A suppression of appetite, so to speak. His lack of interest in food is dominant and he is fully aware of the cause. Does she know?
Of course. Of course, she knows.
She checks his eyes, his nose, his lips. She notices the change in his coordination, heart rate, and body temperature.
"Again, JJ? Pupil dilation... and you probably have no feelings here." She jabs a finger into the hollow of his left cheek.
He snatches up her hand, dragging it away from his numb face. "I can always count on you to be especially observant."
"Only when I need to be. When will you stop? Don't get me started on that raging temper at work. You've really let yourself go."
"You can tell?"
"Judging by the look of your battered right hand, it doesn't take a genius detective to figure that much out. What did you punch this time?"
"A window..."
She gives her wrist a moderate twist, allowing his hand to follow the smooth motion with relative ease. "Looks like your fist went up against tempered glass... and lost. Were you attempting to break someone's car window in the heat of the moment? Even with your training, the newer automobiles these days are built with a layer of plastic sandwiched between. And you managed to keep all your knuckles in tact? How very fortunate for you."
"Oh, my know-it-all wife can be so cute, sometimes." He pinches her cheek with his left hand.
"Only sometimes?" Her thin lips crack a devious smile. It gives him fair warning of what is to come, but...
"Yah! I could've countered that attack if I really wanted to."
She laughs. The kind he is most accustomed to hearing. Her childish laughter sounds like an ensemble of super short hiccups. "You were never very quick, JJ... so don't even... wait, wait... except for that one time. Remember that one time?!"
"That one time I snatched away your double ice cream cones?"
"Yes."
"You were eating two cones at once. One cone in each hand. Seriously, who does that? And you were eating them in our bed, too!"
"In my defense, I was eating for two. Jaeling wanted her butter pecan on sugar waffle cone while I craved green tea flavored ice cream. But really, JJ... you don't just snatch away a pregnant woman's ice cream... that's plain mean!"
"I had to go out at two in the morning, in the middle of a raging storm, just to buy them. The least you could do was eat it in the kitchen... or even the living room."
"But I remember it was super cold..."
"And you wanted ice cream..."
"Do you know ice cream warms you up? People living in cold areas eat ice cream to keep warm..."
"Not cute, Cyn... not cute."
"Ah, is that a smile? I see a smile!" She kisses the corner of his mouth. "There?" She kisses the other corner. "There?"
"Cyn... how can I... how can I keep smiling, always?" Their conversation turns a serious corner. "What is the secret?"
"There's no secret, JJ. None that you don't already know."
"When so many lives are on the line... it is difficult to forgive. They don't understand what is at risk when they diverge from protocol..."
"You need to be patient with them. You must explain it clearly... why they do what they do and not just how to do it. They're not machines, baby. You can't expect them to be like us. It's important they know why they must do things a certain way. Only then can they correct themselves in the future, no matter the circumstance."
"If only there was time... If only I had your patience... If only I could keep my head above the water when those I've sent out never return... How can you keep smiling?"
"You know I've gained lasting self-discipline and patience by starting from the very beginning at a very young age. You can't possibly except someone to reach that level in a moment's time. You mustn't expected it from yourself."
"And you are talking of ballet."
"Of course, ballet. What else did you have in mind?"
"Nothing..." He switches to a less uncomfortable subject. "You know, I first fell in love with you when I saw your 'Romeo and Juliet' performance. I admired your grace and—"
"My what? Grace? Honey, we both know my grace is more of a weakness than a strength."
"Not that kind of grace... it's the almost spiritual kind... where you are so perfectly situated in your body. I don't know how else to explain it."
When everything just falls into place in the universe. And I... I become a superhuman dancer?"
"Yeah... something like that..." His wife. The superhuman.
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