“She couldn’t go that far. I am sure of it *pant*. I better be faster *pant* so I can find her *pant*.” Taeyeon pushed her limitation further. It was weird to sweat in the night full of snow, right? But Taeyeon’s body and face were all covered in sweat.

Taeyeon had been roaming here and there for the past hour, yet she hadn’t detected any sign of Tiffany. It was hard trying not to see lovers were everywhere; trying to show how great their love was for their lovers. There were women and men walking hand in hand; even not so normal couples were there too. They looked very happy for they had the person they loved right beside them. The smile was enough to describe how happy they were with their lovers, unlike the lonely Taeyeon who just being left by her loved one.

Tears became uncontrollable for her. She couldn’t stop it from falling no matter how hard she had tried. She felt insecure and lost. She couldn’t imagine life without Tiffany. That’s why; she couldn’t stop searching even the clock showed that it was almost midnight. Isn’t it weird for Taeyeon to feel lonely in the crowded street? But that’s what Taeyeon felt. Instead of making her tired body sit on the bench, she chose the empty corner to drain herself into unbearable sadness. The fear of losing Tiffany haunting her that she even forgot God was watching her from above. Taeyeon forgot her Lord was always there with her.

Her voice was cracking and sounded horrible for she had been calling for Tiffany’s name numerously, yet no answer was received. Tiffany was nowhere to be seen. Taeyeon folded her knees and hid her head in between. The memories of Tiffany and her suddenly barged into her mind and of course it made Taeyeon’s heart breaking that it already was. Taeyeon could even heart the sound of her heart shattered into pieces. No, it wasn’t Tiffany only. The memories started from when she was still a baby.

From the start, she was already rejected by her parents just when she appeared innocently into this cruel world called earth. She knew nothing about life yet, she was despised by her own parents; the people who indirectly created her yet didn’t want her just because of her gender. What sin she had done back then? Totally none, right? She was dumped and kicked out as soon as it was revealed that she was a daughter instead of son. The world hated her; her parents too hated her.

Life was hard for her. She had to do things kids her age never thought before. She already worked when she was still underage so just she could survive. She left her school and even had to work harder to sustain her grandmother life. She was cursed and called names she didn’t even understand at that time by her own father because she believe in God’s existence and had faith her God would bring salvation for her life.

No one was there anymore to love her since the day her grandmother closed her eyes and never opened it again. Yes, she had left her for forever. Instead of being sad, she was happy because she knew God would take care of her better in Heaven. She was poor and fragile when she was still alive, but Taeyeon was more than sure, she would be the happiest woman when God took her with Him. If not because of God, perhaps Taeyeon had given up; she had no more reasons to stay on this earth. She had ever once begged God to take her away so she could meet her grandmother and live happily together forever in heaven, yet God answered her prayer, saying that it wasn’t her time yet and that He had prepared a bright future for her.

Taeyeon had always been an independent and reliable woman so it wasn’t hard for her to live alone even though she couldn’t deny that at times, she felt lonely. Instead of wanting to avenge her parents, Taeyeon always prayed for them; for God to take care of them wherever they were; to maintain their health and kept them happy. Yes, Taeyeon’s heart was that pure and that’s why God loved her dearly.

“What sin have I done until You punish me like this, God?” Taeyeon suddenly mumbled with tears all over her face.

“Why do you keep me alive when I don’t feel living anymore?” Taeyeon continued.

“You took the only person who could love me sincerely once and now you even took the person I love. Why, Father?” Taeyeon cried harder.

“Am I that worthless to be loved and feel love? Am I, God? If yes, then why did You create me and send me to earth in the first place?” Taeyeon demanded for an answer she never accepted.

“I am sick of life, God. Should I kill myself, will you let me enter the gate of Heaven?” Taeyeon chuckled bitterly. Good thing that she was in a place where no one would cross or pass. She had given up with her life so automatically she too had given up on finding Tiffany. She assumed that God Himself didn’t want her to find Tiffany.

“I guess not.” Taeyeon sighed.

“Do You want me to be nun that bad?” Taeyeon sadly smiled.

“I never once defy Your commands stated in Bible. You said, respecting parents no matter what would bring me fortune and long life in earth. I obediently did that no matter how hateful my parents are. I can’t even remember their faces to be honest. Pathetic me.” White smoke came out from Taeyeon’s mouth when she exhaled loudly.

“You said not to ever reply evil with hatred so I always treat people; even the evil and wicked ones nicely. I follow Your lead to reply it with love and compassion instead. Am I not good enough, God?” Taeyeon didn’t even bother to make friction using both palms even though it already started to feel stiff.

“I.. I don’t know what else to do with my life, God. I know You once said in bible that You will take away people whom people love more than how they love You. But! I love You more, God. I swear! I never once forget about You. I always say prayer and read bible regularly but… but still.. You took her away from me. Why? Why, Father?” She was never been this desperate before. She almost never questioned God’s decision in her life until now. She couldn’t control her emotion and let it all out freely.

“I.. I am tired. I will just sleep here for the night I guess. If there were bad people and killed me, I don’t think I would mind.” Taeyeon lay on her back and stared at the vast sky full of stars.

“Don’t You think it’s funny? I feel lonely when sea of people just steps away from me. Today is Christmas, the day when you’re born thousands of years ago to bring salvation; the day when You come to life. Yet, on the same day, I feel like my life is just taken away. You came to life when I came to death.” Taeyeon said those last statement before closed her eyes and let herself being drowned deeper to sadness.

----------------------------

“Taeng. I finally found you.” Sooyoung said while panting. Sunny was there behind Sooyoung, still trying to catch her breath.

“Taeng. Taeyeon-ah~” Sooyoung called her best friend name worriedly. She sat down and shook Taeyeon’s body.

“Omo! Sunny! Hurry and call for ambulance. Taeyeon’s breathing is weakening. Hurry!!” Sooyoung said in panic. Sooyoung quickly removed her jacket and put it on Taeyeon’s body to warm her up.

“She must be staying outside too long.” Sunny commented once she had successfully asked for ambulance to be sent immediately.

“Uhm. No wonder. She just lost the person she loves the most. She never once loved until now… And she’s gone. Just couple of days ago, I advised her to bravely admit her love for Tiffany.” Sooyoung couldn’t help but tearing. Soon, drops of tears fell onto Taeyeon’s face.

“Poor woman. She is a very wonderful person with good heart but nothing bud bad things happened to her. When she just found a person to love, she lost her. To make it worse, it happened on Christmas day. A day when Christian people celebrate and feel joyful; a day where it should be sent with your loved one.” Sunny added. Sooyoung nodded weakly.

“Just make sure, you always there for her, okay Soo? Don’t leave her side. She is in a fragile and sensitive state by now.” Sunny caressed Taeyeon’s face and cried.

“I promise.” Sooyoung held Sunny and rested her lover’s head on her shoulder. They cried together; crying over Taeyeon’s destiny. They loved and treasured Taeyeon very much and could feel how Taeyeon’s problems were too much and unbearable. Soon enough, ambulance came and took Taeyeon to nearby hospital.

Taeyeon spent the rest of Christmas day until New Year in the hospital. She refused to eat so she depend her life on the IV that penetrated into her body. She became much thinner and had lost 4 kilos in ten days. Sooyoung and Sunny never once let a day passed without visiting Taeyeon and encouraged her to eat, but not to avail. Taeyeon too didn’t talk much; she was an introvert before but now, she had become a worse introvert person. She would only smile and say thank you to Sooyoung and Sunny for visiting her.

The only time Taeyeon laughed was when Sunny and Sooyoung brought Jessica to hospital and visit her. The way Jessica chose words and how she said it and made Sooyoung frightened brought a chuckle to Taeyeon. Both Sunny and Sooyoung were extremely happy seeing her friend finally could laugh even only for a little. The day Taeyeon was released from the hospital, Jessica came alone. She said that she was being forced and threatened that she wouldn’t get her paycheck if she didn’t do it for both Sunny and Sooyoung couldn’t come because suddenly Sunny’s parents visited that they couldn’t leave the elders alone.

Taeyeon’s behavior didn’t change much. She came to work, did her job, said few words, and left. She only ate when Sooyoung and Sunny were there; Taeyeon felt bad for making them worried so she would at least eat even only for a little in front of them. Jessica had become a part time singer since she had graduated her master degree. She would sing in the evening when Taeyeon had done with her performances. Sooyoung’s restaurant had gained many visitors that she decided to prolong the opening time.

Jessica was the only person who bravely told Taeyeon how a she was. Jessica bluntly blurted how Taeyeon was a jerk for making her friends worry about her. Jessica too called Taeyeon selfish and thoughtless. She told her one day when the blonde thought she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Instead of being angry, Taeyeon smiled and asked what the reasons behind her rude comments about her. Jessica explained and since that day, thankfully Taeyeon gradually changed into the old Taeyeon people had been missing a lot.

Sunny and Sooyoung were at first too shocked to even prevent Jessica from talking further right onto Taeyeon’s face but after knowing what impact her words did. They felt relief and glad that Jessica did what she did that day, even though the blonde didn’t know much about the magic she had created.

Taeyeon started her life from zero. She took down photos which had Tiffany’s face in it. She didn’t throw it away but she put it inside a medium-sized box neatly. She moved photos inside her phone into computer and set the folder hidden in hope one day she would forget that a person named Tiffany had ever existed in her life. The first weeks, her attempts were futile for she still slept inside Tiffany’s room and even didn’t want to change the bed sheet just because she could smell Tiffany’s scent on her pillow and bolster.

Days passed and turned into weeks; weeks transformed into months and it had been 7 months since the night Tiffany gone from Taeyeon’s life. More or less, Taeyeon’s life had turned back to normal. She would still smile even though it was a rare sight for her friends to see a sincere smile that would reach her ears. Taeyeon would still laugh seeing Sooyoung was being bullied by Jessica and Sunny. Her happiness had back, even hadn’t reached 100%, but at least she could feel warm and happy whenever she’s being surrounded by her best friends.

“Taeyeon-ah.” Sunny tapped Taeyeon’s shoulder from behind.

“Yes, Sunny?” Taeyeon replied.

“Do you have time?” Sunny asked.

“Hmm.. I don’t have any plan tonight. What is it? Is there something that you want to talk with me?” Taeyeon took a quick glance at her wrist watch. Her job for today had done and now it’s Jessica turn to sing. Jessica worked as Business Development Officer from morning to 4 pm and at night, she would sing in Sooyoung’s restaurant.

“You don’t have job in the bar?” Sunny ensured.

“Nope. It’s tomorrow so I am free for tonight.” Taeyeon smiled.

“Good. Let’s go to the hall and talk while watching Jessica sing. What do you say?” Sunny asked for Taeyeon’s opinion.

“Why not? Let’s go.” Taeyeon nodded and followed Sunny to the main hall.

“It’s still empty.” Taeyeon said once she looked around and found no visitor.

“Of course. It will open later at 7 pm. You must be forgetting since you always leave directly as soon as your work is over.” Sunny chuckled.

“Right. I am sorry I never make time to-“

“No no no. That’s not what I meant.” Sunny sighed.

“I know, Sunny. By the way, where is Soo?” Taeyeon changed the topic.

“She had a meeting with a customer who wants to hold a birthday celebration here next week.” Sunny answered.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Taeyeon turned to Sunny.

“It’s nothing important. It’s just been a while since we talk casually; just the two of us.” Taeyeon nodded to Sunny’s statement.

“I am just wondering… How are you?” Sunny hesitatingly asked.

“If you mean whether I am well without her or not and whether I have coped up and accepted the fact that she is no longer there; then I have to say.. It’s been better. I cannot say I have recovered fully, but I can say that I am healing. The progress is good too, thanks to you all.” Taeyeon honestly answered.

“O..oh.. If there is something that I or others can help to make you heal faster, please don’t hesitate to tell us, okay?”

“Sure, Sunny. Thank you for your concern.” Taeyeon wagged her eyebrows, trying to be playful so Sunny wouldn’t be so suspicious. After all, she was a detective who could easily know whether she lied or not just by her expression.

“Anyway, do you remember I told you that I would introduce you to some of my friends? I said it a year ago, but the offer is still there, Taeng.” Sunny slowly tried to go forward to her real plan.

“Don’t try, Sunny.” Taeyeon let out a sigh and shook her head in disapproval. She knew it had been too long for her to heal her broken heart, but still, she wasn’t ready for this. Not now, at least.

“No no no. Please listen what I have to say first~” Sunny pleaded and used her most useful and absolute weapon; her aegyo.

“I don’t think I would like it though~” Taeyeon mumbled to herself.

“Look up, Taeng and tell me the first thing you see.” Sunny smiled and winked. Taeyeon frowned for not being understood yet, she still did it.

“Huh? I could only see people rehearsing for later performances.” Taeyeon tapped her chin while trying to contemplate what Sunny meant by that.

“Don’t tell me that~~” Taeyeon’s eyes almost popped out from its socket while her index finger was pointing at the stage direction.

“What? I didn’t tell you anything~” Sunny covered , yet her wicked stare was enough to tell Taeyeon what’s inside Sunny’s mind.

“No way, Sunny~ I don’t want to fall for another WOMAN.” Taeyeon emphasized.

“I didn’t say anything! It could be the guitarist~ It’s a he you know~” Sunny dodged.

“We all know that the guitarist is 40 years old already~” Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

“Yet he is unmarried.” Sunny argued.

“Sighed. It’s hard to win a debate with you.” Taeyeon gave up.

“She is very single you know and she is at your age. It’s totally a coincidence, don’t you think?” Sunny blinked her eyes rapidly.

“And you just said you didn’t mean to do what I thought you would.” Taeyeon palmed her face.

“What? I am just stating the truth. I never said anything about making both of you fall for each other~” Sunny shrugged.

“No is a no, Sunny.” Taeyeon waved her hands, conveying that she wasn’t interested regarding whatever Sunny’s scheme was.

“It’s your choice, Taeng. As you best friend, I am just trying to make you fall; to the right person this time.” Sunny deflated yet still tried to smile.

“And I know that Jessica is a very beautiful woman. She looks cold and not generous from outside but we all know the real her is someone who has a good heart, sincere, smart, and honest. What more do you want from a lover, right?” That, Taeyeon had to agree with Sunny’s statements about Jessica.

“I know you only have good intentions, Sunny. But.. I am just not ready yet; either be with a man or woman. I just want to enjoy my life to the fullest by being single this time.” Taeyeon softly rejected the idea.

“No need to rush it, Taeng. I am just saying that you already have a green light in front of you, all you need is an attempt. You know, Jessica is never one to judge us; me and Sooyoung as a couple. I am sure too, she wouldn’t mind to have a woman as a lover.” Sunny closed the topic and rubbed Taeyeon’s arm.

“Thank you, Sunny. I understand what you are trying to say.” Taeyeon grabbed the hand and held it for seconds.

“Both of you are great singers so I think it would be wonderful to make you as one couple.” Sunny added.

“I cannot answer for now but honestly, if it is possible, I want it to be a man this time. I want to recover my love life and be straight again.” Taeyeon straightened.

“Yet, what Sooyoung has told me is right; we cannot even choose the gender or the person we want to fall with.” Taeyeon repeated the words Sooyoung said to her almost a year ago; when she was being unsure about what she was feeling about Tiffany.

“If I may ask, how do you feel about Tiffany now?” Sunny very carefully questioned; trying not to touch the sensitive topic was indeed hard when you were curious.

“What about her? I finally realized what the meaning behind Tiffany’s leaving is.” Taeyeon answered casually, showing Sunny that it was okay to ask about Tiffany by now.

“And what is that?” Sunny asked curiously.

“God thinks that I am very capable and reliable that He asked me to look after her. He loves Tiffany very much and He entrusted me to take care and babysit her until she is recover fully. Once she is okay, He took her back and sent her to a better and more reliable people who aren’t me.” Taeyeon tried hard to cover her sadness but of course it’s a total failure.

“Taeyeon-ah-“

“I am okay, Sunny. I have accepted that fact nicely. I should be thank God for He has trusted me that much to take care or not so sane woman and even helped her to recover and become normal again. It’s a great honor for me.” Taeyeon interjected.

“If there is nothing else to discuss, I will have my leave then. I’ll see you around, Sunny.” Taeyeon quickly got up before Sunny had time to look at her face which was now had been stained by tears.

“Taeyeon-ah~” Sunny looked at the leaving Taeyeon worriedly.

“Be strong, Taeng.” Sunny sighed and murmured lowly.

------------------------

“Hello, Jessi!” Taeyeon greeted the walking woman.

“Oh God! I cannot believe that broomstick asked us to go jogging today~ I mean it’s better to spend a day off sleeping rather than doing something tiring like this. “ The first thing Jessica did was protesting.

“Then why are you coming along?” Taeyeon chuckled seeing the antique behavior.

“What else? That wicked woman retains my salary and said she wouldn’t give it if I didn’t come today.” Jessica groaned.

“Ah. That’s why.” Taeyeon shortly responded. She didn’t know what to do now since she was never left alone with Jessica. Surely, the condition would be fun when they were altogether but when the rest weren’t around, Taeyeon found it awkward to be left with Jessica alone.

“Damn! I am sooo gonna kill her!!” Suddenly Jessica cursed and it startled Taeyeon.

“What happened?” Taeyeon hurriedly asked.

“That vicious couple just canceled it!” Jessica showed the text message sent by Sooyoung.

“Uhm.. She said Sunny got her period this morning.” Taeyeon read the message aloud.

“Geez~” Jessica greeted her teeth.

“Err.. Jessi.” Taeyeon softly poked Jessica’s arm.

“What?” Taeyeon knew Jessica was totally annoyed by then.

“What will you do now?” Taeyeon encouraged herself to ask.

“What else? Go back to sleep obviously~” Jessica sighed.

“What if we jog around for a bit then we can visit a café downtown. I know a café with the best macchiato in town. I will treat you. What do you say?” Taeyeon offered. It would be bad to let her go home disappointed so, a very kind hearted Taeyeon tried to brighten up Jessica’s mood.

“Fine~” Jessica nonchalantly replied and started to jog.

They started their relationship that morning. They jogged for half an hour since Jessica couldn’t stop complaining how tired she was. They stopped by the café and as promised, Taeyeon paid the breakfast. They chatted and Taeyeon knew how Jessica came from a rich family and was very spoiled by her parents. She was the only daughter her family had, that’s why her parents still treated her like a big baby. She felt like she was a dependent person, so she decided to go out from the house and rented an apartment not far from her parents’ house.

Her salary working in Sooyoung’s restaurant plus working at office were 20 times less than her monthly allowance when she was still in high school, but she didn’t mind. She wanted to be an independent woman and not asking money from her parents anymore. She too admitted that she still found it hard to control her emotion and filer her words carefully. She had tried, but at times, it was hard not to show what she was feeling through her expression and words.

Instead of driving a car, she chose public transportation; train to go to work. The revelation about Jessica made Taeyeon amazed. Taeyeon’s thought about the blonde woman changed drastically. Taeyeon once thought that Jessica was a spoiled woman who still depend her life to her parents; but she was totally wrong. Taeyeon respected Jessica much more than before. In no time, they became closer.

The vicious couple or so as Jessica judged tried many ways to make Taeyeon and Jessica accidentally had to spend time together; yes, just the two of them. One time, Sooyoung asked Taeyeon to look after the restaurant because she and Sunny couldn’t. That left Taeyeon to stay in the restaurant and looked the performance. That was the only time Taeyeon had watched Jessica’s full performance from the beginning to end. Because of that too, Taeyeon knew how hard it must be for Jessica to go home alone at night and used train. Taeyeon thought it would be dangerous, so Taeyeon decided to drive Jessica home.

Another time, again, the slippery couple trapped Taeyeon. They played truth or dare and when it was Jessica’s time, they indirectly made Taeyeon to choose dare instead. They dared Jessica to kiss Taeyeon passionately and the kiss must not less than 5 minutes. Jessica took it lightly of course. She walked casually to Taeyeon and straddled her before tilting Taeyeon’s neck and attaching her lips on Taeyeon’s. The kiss was intense and surely, passionate. The couple high fived with each other and clapped their hands delightfully.

“Good afternoon, Jessi~” Sooyoung greeted cheerfully.

“It better be good. I practically just pretended to be dizzy and called in sick so I could go home early.” Jessica pulled the chair and sat on it. She was working when Sooyoung called her and asked her to come urgently.

“Thank you for your sacrifice, then. I will treat you something nice. Choose anything.” Sooyoung gave the menu to Jessica.

“Waiter!” Jessica rose one of her hands.

“Yes. How can I help you, mam?” The waiter immediately came.

“I order from page 1 to 3.” Jessica didn’t even bother to read the menu content.

“Wh-what?!” Sooyoung sat up immediately.

“What? You told me to order anything.” Jessica raised one of her eyebrows arrogantly.

“Yes I did, but not that many portions. Besides, it’s not like you are capable to finish it all.” Sooyoung explained.

“You are right. But I can bring it home as my food stock for couple of days. So, I will only need to warm it inside the microwave.” Jessica smirked in triumph.

“Fine. You win.” Sooyoung sighed.

“So, what is it?” Jessica turned to Sooyoung.

“Shuushh.. It’s about to begin.” Sooyoung said. She hinted Jessica to look up to the stage. Taeyeon just came into the stage and placed her on the elegant stool in front of the grand piano.

“Don’t you think her voice is beautiful?” Sooyoung asked once the first song had finished.

“Ye-yeah.” Jessica stammered. It was the first time for her to watch Taeyeon performing and she had to admit, it was beyond wonderful. Taeyeon’s voice is heavenly; it’s soft yet never failed to hit every note perfectly.

“I just want to say thank you, Jessi. Thank you for helping her out from the dark life she had before.” Sooyoung turned serious.

“Eh? I don’t think I understand what you meant.” Jessica wrinkled her face.

“You still remember how she was before you scolded her bravely, right?” Sooyoung asked.

“Yeah. I don’t know what made her that way but seeing how she lifelessly lived her life made me rage.” Jessica smiled while blushing, feeling embarrassing when she remembered that scene. She was totally childish at that time.

“I don’t have right to tell you the detail. Taeyeon will tell you herself when she is ready.” Sooyoung reasoned out.

“And why should she tell me about her problems?” Jessica asked again, feeling unsure.

“You will know why soon.” Sooyoung smirked.

“Honestly speaking, what do you think of Taeyeon?” Sooyoung straightforwardly asked.

“She is an interesting person I must say. She has a wonderful and sincere heart. I never see her do any harm to other people no matter what. That’s the unique side I never find in another person aside from Taeyeon.” Sooyoung just nodded hearing Jessica’s thought about Taeyeon.

“That she is.” Sooyoung said approvingly.

“Do you think it is possible to further your relationship with her?” Sooyoung asked again.

“If what you meant is like what I thought it is; then the answer would be yes. I’d love to know more about her and be closer to her.” Jessica saw Taeyeon smile to her and so she replied the smile. She even waved to Taeyeon and showed two thumbs up.

“Thank you very much, Jess. I entrust my friend in your hand.” Sooyoung took one hand of Jessica and held it with both her hands; showing her gratitude sincerely.

“Where would you like to sit, Mam?” The waiter asked from behind Sooyoung.

“Is that table near the stage occupied?” The voice made Sooyoung quickly turned her head around. Yes, she knew that voice; she used to hear it often months ago.

“No, it is not. Please have a sit.” The waiter prepared the table for the woman and the man.

“Tiffany….” Sooyoung mentioned the name silently when her eyes had made it clear that the woman in black dress was Tiffany indeed. She came with a man and judging from how she dressed, she looked perfectly normal.

“When I fall in love,

It would be forever,

Or I’ll never~ Fall in love,

In a restless world like this is,

Love is ended before it’s begun~”

The song continued being sang by Taeyeon. Luckily, the woman had her eyes closed to be immersed deeper into the meaning of the song. For Sooyoung, the time had stopped for if she could, she wanted to choose not to believe her eyes. She couldn’t once take her eyes off of her. Jessica in instinct looked at the direction of where Tiffany was; following Sooyoung’s glare. She didn’t know what’s so wrong with the couple sitting on a table for two until Sooyoung stared at the intensely; Sooyoung’s eyes were like wanting to pry after the couple. Jessica wondered why though.

“Soo? Are you okay?” Instead of answering, Sooyoung left Jessica and walked to the table where the couple sat.

“Tiffany..” Sooyoung called the name and the woman automatically turned her head.

“Oh. Good afternoon. Do I know you?” Tiffany asked politely.

“Who is she, babe?” Sooyoing’s lust to kill increased when she heard the man just called Tiffany babe.

“Babe? Who are you to her, huh?” Sooyoung asked rudely.

“I am her boyfriend. Got a problem with that?!” The man who felt offended quickly stood up.

“Oh so you are the poor bartender that her parents don’t agree with? Tch~ And you, could you please stop the pretention and admit that you know me?!” Sooyoung raised her voice even more, earning people’s attention.

Taeyeon who just finished singing looked up to the commotion automatically. She gasped when she found the woman she had longed very much. She couldn’t even stop tears from falling for feeling too happy to see her. It’s Tiffany; the very same Tiffany whom she always loved. Yes, her love for Tiffany never once stopped in spite the fact that she had hidden anything related to the woman appropriately. She followed her heart that led her feet to walk to where they were.

“What the hell with this woman?! I want the owner of this restaurant! I want to talk with him about this jerk”! The man too raised her voice.

“Tiffany… It is really you… Oh God. I am so happy that you are alright.” Without any warning, Taeyeon hugged Tiffany tightly.

“And you! Who the hell are you?! Get off of my girlfriend you sicko!” The man ran to his girlfriend and separated Tiffany from Taeyeon.

“Gi-girlfriend?” Taeyeon stammered.

“Tiffany. Tell me this is not right.” Taeyeon pleaded. Sooyoung helped to hold Taeyeon’s body so she wouldn’t fall directly to the cold floor.

“How do you know my name? Am I supposed to know you?” Tiffany asked in confusion.

“The people in this restaurant are crazy! Let’s just get out from here, Tiff!” The man grabbed Tiffany’s hand and pulled her.

“Wait. Are you sure you don’t remember me at all?” Taeyeon quickly held Tiffany’s other hand.

“I am sorry.” Tiffany smiled weakly.

“I see. I must be mistaken you as another person. She looks so much like you though. I am sorry.” Taeyeon let go of the hand unwillingly, letting the woman once again left her and shattered her heart apart.

“Are you okay, Taeng?” Sooyoung asked worriedly.

“I.. I am fine.” Taeyeon stuttered.

“Are you sure? Jessi, could you please replace her-“

“I said I am okay. I will go back to the stage now.” Taeyeon cut. She hardly stood up and walked lifelessly back to the stage.

“Damn.” Sooyoung muttered.

“It’s her, right? The person who once broke her heart.” Jessica asked.

“She just broke it again.” Sooyoung sighed. She felt her tears surging up. She could feel how much pain Taeyeon felt and she didn’t know what she would do should it happen to her instead.

“Don’t worry. I will watch after her.” Jessica ensured.

“Thanks’.” Sooyoung smiled a little.

------------------------------

“You would never ask me why,

My heart is so disguised,

I just can’t live a lie anymore,

I would rather hurt myself,

Than to ever make you cry,

There’s nothing left to say, but goodbye~”

“Her mood is never been worse than now.” Sunny sighed seeing her friend’s performance.

“Yeah.” Sooyoung sighed along.

“She always sings sad songs nowadays. It’s not that our visitors have ever complained though.” Sooyoung sighed again for the umpteenth time.

“How could she forget about her that easily? If not because of Taeyeon, maybe she was still in that asylum.” Sunny scoffed.

“That I have to agree. By the way, how is she and Jessica?” Sooyoung asked.

“Jessica said since the accidental meeting, Taeyeon has been very quiet.” Sunny explained shortly.

“That is understandable.” Sooyoung nodded.

“Excuse me. Are you the person I met a week ago? I am here to apology on behalf of my boyfriend’s ride behavior. Besides, I haven’t paid the bill.” Tiffany’s voice jolted Sooyoung from her seat.

“Ti-tiffany.” Sooyoung said.

“Yes, that is my name. What is yours?” Tiffany smiled sincerely.

“She is Sooyoung and my name is Sunny. Nice to meet you, Tiffany.” Sunny stood up and offered her hand.

“What are you doing?!” Sooyoung whispered.

“No harm will be done if we pretend not to know each other. Besides, she is not lying. She indeed has lost her memories about us, about Taeyeon.” Sunny whispered back.

“Uhm.. is it okay if I sit here?” Tiffany hesitantly asked.

“Sure, please do.” Sunny allowed and even pulled the vacant seat for her.

“I am not bringing my boyfriend today so I hope we can be in peace?” Tiffany bit her bottom lips, waiting for Sooyoung’s answer.

“Uhm.” Sooyoung hummed. She couldn’t pretend like Sooyoung. Her mood was like a book easily read.

“I see you are still angry about last week. I think I better-“

“No. She is not. She is just having her period. Right, Soo?” Sunny glared and in defeated, Sooyoung nodded.

“It’s been almost two years since the last time I saw you visiting our restaurant. How have you been?” Sunny tried her first attempt to dig the information from Tiffany.

“Oh. You do remember? Yeah… I am not sure what happened with me. I kind of forgot the things happened to me for the last two years and whenever I tried to remember it, my head aches.” Tiffany looked sad while telling the story.

“I see. But at least you are okay by now, right?” Sunny smiled.

“Yes.” Tiffany answered nonchalantly for her focus had been grabbed by the woman singing while playing piano on the stage.

“Her name is Taeyeon. She is our singer.” Sunny said. Tiffany turned her head back to Sunny.

“She has been working here since forever.” Sunny added.

“Soo, will you please give me espresso? And what will you have, Tiffany?” Sunny knew, Sooyoung’s mood would only be worsened if the latter insisted to stay and hear the conversation so she tried to make Sooyoung go inside.

“Macchiato please.” Tiffany answered.

“So, one espresso and macchiato. Thank you before, baby~” Sunny landed a peck on Sooyoung’s kiss and it made Tiffany caught off guard. Sooyoung soon left.

“Yes, we are lovers.” Sunny practically answered Tiffany’s question inside her mind.

“I’ve always been in love with you,

I guess you’ve always known it’s true,

You took my love for granted, why oh why,

The show is over, say goodbye~”

“Does she always sing sad songs like that?” Tiffany out of nowhere asked.

“Not really but lately, yes she does.” Sunny answered.

“I don’t know why but I can feel her sadness through her singing. Can you?” Tiffany poured a block of sugar into her cup.

“Yes I can. We all can. That’s why, if you pay attention, no one talks loudly when she is singing. Even if people talk, it would only be compliments and praises.” Sunny sipped her espresso slowly.

“She looks so sad.” Tiffany stated. Taeyeon just looked to Sunny table and found Tiffany there. Sunny waved, but Taeyeon only smiled a little.

“She just got her heart broken.” Sunny sadly looked at Taeyeon with full of concerns.

“Ah.. I see.” Tiffany said no more.

The song ended soon enough. Taeyeon got off of the stage but instead of approaching Sunny and Tiffany, she went directly to her changing room and locked herself inside. She cried all of her sadness and pains out. She sat right behind the closed door with uncomfortable position. After ten minutes, she went out again and ascended the stage, pretending like nothing happened. She stole a glance and saw that Tiffany was still there. Tiffany waved to her but Taeyeon quickly looked away, pretending she didn’t look at her.

“Can I come here regularly?” Tiffany asked after finishing her drink out.

“Of course. You don’t even need to ask. But, can I know the reason why?” Sunny sat up more properly and closer to the table, so she could see the expression of Tiffany when answering.

“I like her performances and voice so I will come here more often. Taeyeon, right?” Sunny nodded and smiled in relief. At least, Tiffany even under her consciousness had stated how she felt interested about Taeyeon.

“Don’t worry. I promise not to bring my boyfriend here. I too don’t want him to cause a commotion. He has a bad temper at times.” Tiffany added.

“Well then, thank you for your time, Sunny. I have to go now. My boyfriend is already outside. I’ll see you around.” Tiffany put her phone inside her purse and stood up. Little did she know, Taeyeon’s eyes were following her every movement until Taeyeon’s eye sight couldn’t reach her anymore.

 ---------------------

“She comes here quite often, Taeng. Don’t you want to make an attempt to make her remember?” Jessica asked. They were spending their time inside Jessica’s apartment.

“And why should we talk about her when we are on a date?” Taeyeon continued eating chips while pretending to watch the show on TV.

“Date? What date are you talking about, dwarf?” Jessica teased.

“Yah! Don’t ever mock me about my height. It is given, okay?!” Taeyeon threw some chips to Jessica’s face.

“Are we on a date, Kim Taeyeon?” Jessica scooted closer.

“Yah! What are you doing! You are invading my personal space!” Taeyeon scooted further until she couldn’t move any longer.

“But I thought you just said that we’re dating~” Jessica left no space between her and Taeyeon’s body.

“I said date, not dating!” Taeyeon corrected.

“It’s the same for me~” Jessica argued.

“Not it is not. Dating means we are lovers when on a date means we are on our way to become lovers; it’s like an effort made to make two people fall for each other and eventually become official.” Taeyeon explained.

“Whatever~” Jessica shrugged.

“Thank you for always being there, Jessi.” Taeyeon turned and smiled.

“It’s fine.” Jessica blushed for Taeyeon’s face was too close.

“But seriously, why you don’t want to make an effort to make her remember about you?” Jessica returned to the main topic.

“The first time I had her inside my house; my aim is to make her normal again. I never said making her remember me would be included in my aim for her.” Taeyeon halted.

“Secondly, making her remember me will hurt her in a way or two.” Taeyeon didn’t explain further, making Jessica become curious.

“Why?”

“Because it will make her remember about how she wasn’t that normal; how her problems had turned her crazy. It will be bad memories for her.” Taeyeon’s answer made Jessica touched and for the umpteenth time amazed by Taeyeon’s kindness.

“She is happy and normal. That’s that.” Taeyeon ended.

“But she doesn’t remember a thing about you.” Jessica claimed.

“It is true but I don’t mind. I have accepted that fact and I am fine now, thank you.” Taeyeon turned and ruffled Jessica’s hair.

“Are you sure? You are not lying, aren’t you?” Jessica suspiciously stared at Taeyeon.

“Look into my eyes. What do you see?” Taeyeon brought her face closer and pointed to her eyes.

“Me.” Jessica said before closing the gap and kissed Taeyeon. The latter gasped yet didn’t fight back. Instead, she reciprocated the kiss and let Jessica kiss her deeper.

‘I let you go, Tiffany.’ Taeyeon said inside her mind.

----------------------------

Again, it was almost Christmas which meant it’s been almost a year since that incident happened. The difference now was the fact that Taeyeon was no longer alone and lonely. She had Jessica beside her and she would spend the Christmas with her. They hadn’t been official, but Taeyeon always let Jessica steal a kiss or two from her. She would always reply the kiss with the same intensity. She wasn’t ready to make it official and Jessica knew that. In fact, she was willing to wait.

Taeyeon was just back from Jessica’s place, spending her precious time on Christmas with her. They had dinner together, danced to a romantic instrumental song, and sealed the night with passionate kiss. It all went well for both of them. At times, Jessica would act like a kid and asked to be spoiled by Taeyeon. Taeyeon knew it was a way to gain Taeyeon’s attention so Taeyeon spoiled her like a princess.

She looked at the rearview mirror and smiled. This was the best Christmas she had ever had. She unfastened her seatbelt and climbed off of her car. She spotted a shadow hidden behind the building of her apartment. The closer she was to her apartment, the more obvious who the person was in the shadow. It was a woman and as Taeyeon was merely steps away, she could finally see that the woman was Tiffany. But.. what was she doing right here, in the middle of the night?

“You’re finally home.” That’s what she said once Taeyeon was near enough to hear her.

“Ti-Tiffany-shii. What are you doing?” Taeyeon tried to mask her emotion and asked.

“Stop pretending, Taeyeon. I remember it all.” Tiffany literally ran to hug Taeyeon.

“Wh-what?” Taeyeon wasn’t sure what she had to do. She let Tiffany hugged her, yet she didn’t hug her back.                                                                                              

“I found you, Taeyeon. I finally found you.” Tiffany enchanted. She let go and palmed Taeyeon’s face. The kiss was too sudden that Taeyeon didn’t even have enough time to dodge. It was only a chaste kiss, but it made Taeyeon’s tears were threatened to fall.

----------------------------

So anyone cried during this chapter? Or only me who’s being exaggerating and spent sheets of tissue to wipe my tears? T.T

I never thought I would make this story this long. Forgive your careless. thas author~ For I usually already prepared what to write but whenever I write for real, I always add this and that which made the chapter longer than it should be. So yeah, thank you for bearing with me *bow*

And to be honest, this was the first time I cried when writing. I didn’t even cry when I made Taeyeon dead in another story of mine. Call me exaggerated but I think it’s because the matter is related to God. Oh Father, I love you very much T.T

For those who aren’t Christian, I hope you don’t mind that at times, I create story related to my belief. I cannot stop saying thank you to God for He has been very kind to me. He has given me great mother and great lover. What more can I ask from you, Father~

Happy new year!! As we have all known, the end of 2014 was closed with plane incident of the falling plane (AirAsia). Most of the passengers come from Indonesia and even one of the crew is my best friend’s friend. My deep condolences for the families the victims had left.

That’s why, don’t ever forget to pray before starting any of your activity. Ask God to take care of you and protect you during your journey. The weather is not very good lately, moreover in places like Indonesia with complicated geography condition. We never know when our time will end, right? God bless you all.

I am sorry for the long message >.<

And before anyone missunderstand this, I ensure you that this will have a happy ending XD

Let's cry for now on and smile later~

See you in the next chapter! I love you all~ :*

PS: Happy anniversary baby~ It will be our 200^th days soon!! I love you very much :*