Life hasn’t been so kind to Taeyeon, but God is. Her father disowned her the moment he revealed that Taeyeon’s gender was a girl. Her mother was too weak to confront his decision and fought him. Taeyeon was the first child of the family. Her father was a very wealthy man since he was the President Director of well-known Oil & Gas Company at that time. He was the only child of the family that he became a dictator and very bossy. Whatever words coming out from his mouth must be granted and conducted in a proper manner. He dreamt of a son, not a daughter so he could inherit his position and his heritage to his son.

Taeyeon’s mother had been diagnosed with an unknown virus on her womb that she could only be pregnant for once because it would endanger her life should she insist and wanted to be pregnant for the second time. Perhaps that’s why the man named as Kim Hangeng wanted nothing but a son which meant definitely not a daughter. He had waited for the past 9 months patiently just to be slapped by the harsh truth that what God had given him was a daughter, not a son. He went mad and threw everything he saw on his office room right after he hung up the call from the hospital which just shared him a heartbreaking news of the gender of his first and probably one and only child.

He in a dash drove to the hospital like a mad man. He left every business he had in work; he canceled his meeting, ignored his respective guests, etc. He didn’t even bother to knock the door before barging in to where his wife was. He saw his wife holding the peacefully sleeping baby girl she just gave birth to. Sadly, that sight didn’t even touch his heart nor made his heart flattered in a good way. His wife greeted him with a weak smile, knowing that her husband must not like the fact that their first child was a she instead of a he.

The man didn’t give warning and grabbed the baby harshly. His wife screamed from the top of her lunge to prevent him from bringing her baby away. The man didn’t even give a second glance and get off of the room. The man drove again, placing the baby on the empty seat beside him. He directed his expensive car to a secluded area. He stopped his car in front a very small house or it would be right to call it as a shack or a hovel. He knocked hardly on the door until it was opened and revealed an old skinny and dirty woman behind the opened door. It turned out that the woman was a person who used to be his personal maid or to be more detail; it was the woman who dedicated her life to take care of him decades ago until he became a fully grown man like now.

The man didn’t say a word and gave the still sleeping baby to her. The woman didn’t need to say a word for she had known what he meant. She took the baby with her and shushed her that the baby smiled while sleeping. The man huffed and went back to his car to take enough money. He shoved the money without saying a word or two. The man stepped backward and turned around to his car. He entered the car and stepped on the gas pedal, driving away and left his first and probably last child. He didn’t know how he could have a son after but he knew he would have a son eventually. He must have a son no matter what after all.

Taeyeon came not from a Christian family and so did the old woman. Years passed after that and Taeyeon was 5 years old. Time surely went fast that Taeyeon was able to speak and called the woman as grandma. She loved her grandma so much no matter how improper her appearance was. She was so old, too old to be able to take a care a kid. She was 85 when Taeyeon was 5. The age difference was too wide that she couldn’t do anything much to help Taeyeon doing the housekeeping. Taeyeon didn’t mind and would do her best to help the woman keeping the house clean.

Taeyeon was a curious and active child that she couldn’t help but asking where her parents were that she had to live with that woman. The old woman could only give a sad smile as a reply yet it was more than enough to make Taeyeon understand that she was either unwanted or that her parents had died in accident or something. Besides, a smile could define anything, right?

The money Taeyeon’s father left was reduced eventually. The old woman had told Taeyeon that her father had left some money for Taeyeon so should Taeyeon want to go to school, she could do it until she was independent enough to seek for money on her own. Taeyeon diminished the offer and used the money to buy medicines for her fragile grandma instead. She loved her grandma very much as she was the only family she had left. Losing her would be the last thing she would ever want.

No matter how much the money she had, it would eventually be finished when she hadn’t had stable job. The money was no longer enough to maintain their life and to buy medicines. She never once had been introduced to God so Taeyeon was totally oblivious that God existed. She contemplated what to do to earn money. The urgency to have money had pushed her too far that she did saddest job anyone could think of. One thing she put in mind that she never wanted to do dirty job no matter what. Her grandma too wouldn’t like it and ever would accept the money if the money she earned was not coming from honest job.

It was rainy season at that time. It gave Taeyeon a kind of crazy idea to earn money. Taeyeon bought the shabby umbrella for a cheap price. She waited in the corner of the road, not far from the bus terminal in hope it would be raining soon. Her wish was granted in an odd way since the sky was light blue and bright when suddenly it turned dark and the rain poured soon after. Everyone hadn’t prepared that most of them didn’t bring any umbrella to protect their bodies from being splashed and dampened by the raging water from above. That’s when Taeyeon came and offered help to protect people from the rain only for few coins.

Taeyeon went home with a wide smile on her face. It was not that much but it was her first time to earn money so she felt so proud of it. She bragged and shared the story to her grandma who attentively heard her despite the not too sharp hearing she had left. Taeyeon gave all the money to her grandma who accepted it with tears. Taeyeon was still 6 years old at that time and she never once went to school. She rather spent her time seeking enough money for her grandma than studying for years without any guarantee she could have proper job years after.

Days went by and it was Sunday at that time. Again, it was raining. The Bus Terminal was empty even after an hour since she had arrived there. She became hopeless and could only sigh with the probability that she wouldn’t be able to get money on that day. Little did she know that God was smiling from ear to ear seeing Taeyeon from His kingdom in heaven. Taeyeon let her feet led her to anonymous place. She didn’t even know where she would go and it’s not like she cared anyway.

10 minutes of walking to unknown place had led her to a church. Her ears reacted when she heard the happy songs being sang vividly. She went closer until she arrived near the church entrance. She sat on the ground after putting down her wet umbrella. She was of course wasn’t wet no matter how heavy the rain would be. She rested her back on the wall behind her while closing her eyes, trying to be immersed with the song people was singing. Song after song was played nicely. She didn’t really understand why she loved the songs. All she knew was that all of the songs were about how great and kind Jesus was but then again, who was Jesus at the first place? She didn’t know and she didn’t have any attention to know.

Taeyeon soon fell asleep due to exhaustion. She fell asleep with her knees bent and served as a place to prop her head. An hour fast passed and the rustling sound of people exiting the door woke Taeyeon up. The little girl rubbed her tired eyes and turned her head around. Many people were standing near the front door, unable to proceed further as the rain was still falling heavily. A smile grew on Taeyeon’s face. With quick steps, she approached the people and offered her help. Coins after coins were placed on Taeyeon’s palm and Taeyeon was never that happy in her life before.

Taeyeon made a conclusion that making money would be much easier and convenient in church. Why so? Because, Taeyeon would get money 10 times bigger from the people from church compare from what she would get from others. She could spend more days at home, taking care of her grandma and only worked when it’s raining and when there was schedule in church. Taeyeon couldn’t read but she had asked the schedule from the gardening man who also worked in church and he said that every Friday to Sunday, people would come and pray.

She somehow knew she had to be thankful to Jesus. She still didn’t know who Jesus was but since people always sang for Him, she assumed Jesus was the main reason why people would come and pray and indirectly, He also the main reason she could make more money for her grandmother. She was still too young to think maturely so don’t blame her and her innocent thoughts for thinking that way.

One day, a man wearing white long dress or so as little Taeyeon thought approached her. Taeyeon was scared as hell, thinking that she would be dumped for coming there too often. She had nowhere to go as she was cornered by the man. The man was getting closer and Taeyeon was never been this afraid in her life before. The man didn’t touch her improperly nor tried to scold her harshly. The man gave her the sweetest and sincerest smile she ever seen from anyone aside her grandmother.

“Do you know who Jesus is?” The man asked with a soft voice.

“Wh-what?” Taeyeon slowly uncovered her face.

“I often see you around here to offer help for people. But do you know why people are coming here?” The man asked again.

“Err.. I.. I don’t have any idea.” Taeyeon answered with an uncertainty.

“You get money from people here, right? They are here for Jesus.” The man continued.

“Ye-yeah. I am so thankful that people are gathered here every Friday to Sunday and I know they are here for Jesus. But I don’t know who Jesus is.” Taeyeon replied.

“Have you eaten?” The man smiled again, with the same sincerity.

“Uh?” Taeyeon was unsure.

“Let’s go inside. I have warm seafood soup and grilled chicken. I bet you like it.” The man stretched his hand and Taeyeon didn’t know how or why but she trusted the man and welcomed his hand. She followed the man and went inside the church for the first time.

----------------------------------

“Open the door now!” Taeyeon heard that was a man yelling out while knocking the door. She was afraid and so she turned to her weak grandmother.

“Open the door, Tae. I knew that voice. He was not a bad man.” The old woman knew what the little girl thought.

“Okay, grandma.” Never once Taeyeon failed to do what she was told to by her grandmother. She went to the door and unlocked the rusty door.

“I am sorry. Who-“

“You! Where is the old woman!?” The man didn’t let Taeyeon finish her statement. He barged in, leaving Taeyeon who was still dumbfounded.

“Kim Hangeng. What brought you here?” The woman tried her best to sit up and welcomed the man politely.

“Why did you let her change religion?! Who asked you to let her choose whatever religion she wants, huh?” The man ignored the question and scolded the old woman.

“Yah! Who are you?! Why are you so rude to grandma?!” Taeyeon ran and stood before the man. She wanted to protect her grandma no matter how impossible it might be.

“And you, ungrateful child! How could you talk to your father like that?! If not because of me, you would never be born to this beautiful earth!” The man turned to Taeyeon.

“I have no parents.” Taeyeon was too shocked by the information that all of her senses were shut down. She looked at the ground while replying.

“That old woman told you that? Well, good information for you for I am your father.” The man squatted and patted Taeyeon’s head, but not for long since Taeyeon quickly slapped the hand away.

“I told you I have no parents! I only have grandma.” Taeyeon raised her voice.

“Look how well you have nurtured my daughter, old woman.” The man said sarcastically.

“What brings you here? If you don’t have any business, you know the exit door.” The woman said flatly. She didn’t hate this man before, not until she witnessed how rude he was to Taeyeon.

“I heard the news. That child and you have become Christian, huh? Why?” The man diverted the topic and being straightforward.

“It has nothing to do with you.” It was Taeyeon’s voice.

“And I have a name. It’s Taeyeon.” Taeyeon added.

“Okay, Taeyeon. Why did you change your belief then? Your parents’ religion is never a Christian.” The man sat on the nearby stool so his face level would be the same with the standing Taeyeon.

“And I have told you so many times that I have no parents. Even if I have one, they never took care of me. Jesus did. He nurtures me and grandma well so I believe in Him with all of my heart.” Taeyeon said in all honesty.

“Geez, you are so stupid, aren’t you? I am right here, standing in front of you and you still assume that you don’t have parents? Don’t you go to school?” The man shook his head in disbelief.

“I don’t. I always go to work so I can earn enough for grandma’s medicines.” Taeyeon said casually.

“No wonder then. However, I still don’t like the fact that you are Christian! Return to your previous religion or-“

“Or what? You cannot do anything. You have no right with anything related to me.” Taeyeon clenched her fist and glared at the man.

“Taeyeon-ah. Don’t… He is indeed your father.” The old woman touched Taeyeon’s shoulder to calm her down.

“Yes I have a father, grandma. His name is Jesus. As far as I know, Jesus is so full of compassion and love, unlike him.” Taeyeon turned to her grandma and smiled yet before she made an attempt to face the man, she was surprised with a hit or more like a slap on her left cheek.

*SLAP*

“I am your father, not HIM!” The man still had his hand up in the air.

“……” Taeyeon was speechless. Never once her grandma landed a hand on her, but this man.. The man who claimed to be his father who just came after years had passed had just slapped her.

“Taeyeon-ah!” The old woman pulled Taeyeon into a hug while Taeyeon was still touching her cheek which just being slapped.

“Listen to me well. My name is Kim Hangeng. This will be the last time you can see me, unless you can prove me that YOUR father is indeed good. If YOUR father managed to feed you and make you a success person in the future, come and seek for me.” With that, the man left the house.

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Taeyeon couldn’t forget those words the man said even after months had passed. Those words haunted her wherever she went. A year passed and sadly, her grandmother was called and retrieved by God to a better place called heaven. She was 7 years old at that time, too young to face the scary world alone. Taeyeon didn’t cry for she knew, her grandmother would accept a much better treatment from Jesus. She was disappointed with the fact that she was failed to provide her grandmother with a better life when she was still alive, yet even if she wanted to do that, she would have to see her grandmother suffer fighting against her illness and no, she didn’t want to witness it.

Taeyeon was living in poverty still. She still couldn’t adapt with the empty house. She felt so lonely and alone in this cruel world. One thing that still made her survive was her God. She always reminded herself that no matter how she was alone, her God would never leave her. People might come and go but Jesus came to stay. She was given a bible as a birthday gift from the priest whom she met a year ago. She made a smile every time she remembered how lucky she was to know God and that she had managed to convert to grandma to a Christian before she was being called back to heaven.

She had a bitter past yet it didn’t mean she would have a dark future. She earned the same way, but it could only do when the rainy season came. If not, it would be useless to roam around the city bringing umbrella. She made another way to live in. Everyone knew that most of Christian people were good in singing. Again, God was very kind to her that He sent the priest to teach her how to play a guitar.

She could master it not long after. He even gave the guitar for her, saying that she got a good voice and that it would be a waste not to use her voice well. Taeyeon used the guitar as her source of income. She would place an old hat on the ground and start playing her guitar. She didn’t know any song aside from worship songs so she could only sing it. She would close her eyes while singing, trying to imagine how great her God is. It made her unable to know whether there were people hear it or not. Once she was done, she opened her eyes just to be shocked from the truth that many people stood and tried to hear her singing. Coins were thrown into her hat and on that day alone, she had earned enough to maintain her life for a week.

Years soon passed and she was already 21 years old. She used to think that she was unwanted that life was never kind to her but her thoughts and mind concept had changed through the years, mostly years after she had known her new and only best friend, Jesus. She had earned much more than before. She had enough of playing songs on the street to get coins. She was recruited on her fifth years playing as the street artist by a man who owned a café.

Taeyeon was a solo artist on that café since then. More people acknowledged talent in singing. She was then again hired by another person. This time, it was by a restaurant owner. Taeyeon was even trained to play a piano by that person. Taeyeon was beyond happy that she could play both, guitar and piano. That’s what her occupation was since then, a singer at restaurant in the afternoon and a singer in the café in the evening.

Her earning wasn’t that much yet enough to decorate and renovate the hovel she and her grandma lived into a better form. She saved enough money and bought the unoccupied land beside her house. She joined the land she bought with her house so it would be more comfortable to live in. She spent quite amount of money to pay the labors she rented. After months, the house had finished and she liked the outcome. Her house had become a very nice house. She always smiled whenever she reached home after a tiring work. She didn’t school and only able to read and write yet she could do this far; all thanks; to God.

-----------------------

Taeyeon yawned after a long hibernation. She always came home late from café. She would reach home after midnight since the café would close around 3 am. She didn’t mind though for she had managed to buy a city car. She didn’t pay it in cash. She used credit card to pay it monthly. She didn’t care too much with the fact that her saving was only enough to feed her for another month or that she had many things to pay, as long as she would always manage to spare 10 percent from her income for God.

‘Taeyeon-ah! Where are you? The show will start in an hour! Come here soon! You know how bad I am at singing :(’

Taeyeon smiled seeing the message sent by Sooyoung, the new owner of the restaurant. She was the daughter of the previous owner and had become Taeyeon’s best friend. She was a very easygoing person so it wasn’t a big matter for Sooyoung to befriend an introvert person like Taeyeon. Taeyeon huffed and stretched her body. She placed her feet on the ground and made her way to the bathroom to prepare herself.

“Yah! What took you so long!?” Sooyoung was the first one to greet her once she had arrived.

“What? I am not late, aren’t I?” Taeyeon snickered.

“Yeah. But we will start in another 5 minutes. Have you found out what songs you will sing, huh? Or what-“

“Oh come on, Soo. You have known me for years already. Have I made you disappointed even once?” Taeyeon interjected.

“Not really. Err.. Yeah.. do your best then!” Sooyoung tapped Taeyeon’s shoulder and ruffled her hair.

“Yah!  Don’t mess with my hair!” Taeyeon sulked.

“Hahaha.. I will tell the crew to prepare the piano.” Sooyoung smiled and left.

Taeyeon went to the changing room to change her casual clothes into a more proper one. She didn’t forget to say her prayer, asking for God to protect her and bless her performance so everything would go well and as what He planned for her. Taeyeon drank enough water after, preparing for her performance later.

The performance had been passed for an hour when Taeyeon’s eyes caught a very perfect sight of a beautiful woman on the corner. She was alone as usual and she always occupied that table for as long as she remembered. The woman’s face looked so sad, as usual. It was the fourth time she had seen this woman visiting the restaurant and sat on her own with a glass or red wine on her table. She was so beautiful with those perfect shape lips and pointed nose. Her eyebrows had a well-defined form. She was like an angel but unfortunately, she never once saw the woman smiling and Taeyeon wondered why.

The song ended and everyone clapped their hands, except that woman. The woman didn’t budge a bit. She still had empty stares; it was like she didn’t even pay attention to Taeyeon’s performance. But then again, if she didn’t come for her, why she always presented whenever Taeyeon was performing? It was time for Taeyeon break so she got up and bowed to the audiences slash the visitor of the restaurant. She sat on her usual table, near the piano and just finished making an order when Sooyoung came and sat beside her.

“The name is Tiffany.” Sooyoung said all of sudden.

“Eh?”

“The name of the woman you were staring at.” Sooyoung added with a smirk.

“How do you-“

“I know because my restaurant never allows such strangers to come so they have to register themselves beforehand. That’s how I know her name is Tiffany. And how do I know what’s inside that brain of yours? It’s because you always took a glance or two in every of your performance.” Sooyoung giggled after, feeling so happy for just successfully teasing Taeyeon.

“O-oh. I see.” Taeyeon diverted her eyes to her freshly brewed coffee on her table.

“That’s all you can say? Hmmphh.. No fun!” Sooyoung sulked.

“What do you want me to say then?” Taeyeon frowned.

“Anything. I know you have paid attention to her since the first time she came here.” Taeyeon kept her silence for what Sooyoung just said was true.

“Do you have any idea why she always looks so sad?” Taeyeon finally asked.

“That I don’t know. I wonder to myself too to be honest but it will be rude if I ask her why she always looks sad, right?” That statement earned a smack on her head.

“You would look stupid if you do it.” Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

“But you don’t have to smack me.” Sooyoung murmured.

“Sorry, Soo.” Taeyeon chuckled.

“Do you want me to do a background check on her? Bunny is a detective, I can always ask her to do it if you want.” Sooyoung wiggled her eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“Naah.. It will offend her privacy and I don’t want that. Besides, she is a mere stranger that I am curious of. It doesn’t matter why makes her look sad. It’s not my business after all.” Taeyeon brushed the idea off.

“Said by Tiffany’s secret admirer.” Sooyoung grumbled under her breath.

“Pardon?”

“Uh? Nothing.” Sooyoung quickly made a smile.

“Anyway, hurry and eat your cake. Your next performance will be in ten minutes.” Sooyoung reminded and pointed to the untouched cake on her table.

“Okay. Thanks for the treat, Soo. You are the best boss ever!”  Taeyeon showed a thumb up.

“I know that already.” Sooyoung said confidently and stood up. She went back to her office and made a note to contact her girlfriend, Sunny to conduct a background check on Tiffany.

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“Thanks for the show! You are great as usual~” Sooyoung patted Taeyeon’s shoulder.

“You are welcome, boss. And please just transfer my salary. I am afraid, I would finish it all in one go.” Taeyeon said to Sooyoung.

It’s been 2 months since Sooyoung informed Taeyeon that the woman she unconsciously admired was Tiffany. Taeyeon never discussed it further and Sooyoung respected Taeyeon that she too didn’t speak further even though she had known general info about Tiffany thanks to Sunny. Sooyoung thought Taeyeon still didn’t want to think about love life since she was still young and lively. Sooyoung knew enough info about Taeyeon’s past so she could understand why Taeyeon still wanted to enjoy her life. Taeyeon had a bitter past but now she could live her life well. Why should she think of others when she just able to enjoy life now?

“Then spend it. You can make enough money now. Why still bother with good saving and all?” Sooyoung asked back.

“You never know what God wants from you, Soo. The bible says that we have to be ready all the time.” Taeyeon replied with a  smile.

“Your words never fail to scare me of death. Geez.” Sooyoung rubbed her chest up and down.

“Hahaha.. You just exaggerate it.” Taeyeon laughed.

“Anyway, did you notice that the person you admire so much hasn’t visited this whole month?” Sooyoung questioned and the question made Taeyeon stop laughing.

“If what you meant is Tiffany then yes, I notice it. Maybe she is just busy or moved to another town. It’s not that she has responsibility to come here regularly.” Taeyeon reasoned out.

“I agree. But it’s just weird. Not that I want to know that much though.” Sooyoung responded.

It’s like God had been waiting for Taeyeon and Sooyoung to discuss about it since suddenly the front door of the restaurant opened ajar and there were some people yelling. Luckily, the restaurant was closed since the chef would prepare the ingredients for dinner three hours from then. The ruckus made both women curious. Sooyoung stood up, followed by Taeyeon. Both of them immediately walked to the front door to see what was happening outside.

“Fany-ah, don’t go there! Come back.” The name made both Taeyeon and Sooyoung to look each other. Taeyeon ran first, followed by Sooyoung.

“No! I want to see the performance~ Hehehehe..” The voice which Taeyeon believed belonged to Tiffany was heard next.

“Excuse me, Mam but you are not allowed to enter. This restaurant is closed.” The security said politely.

“What’s happening here?” Sooyoung asked.

“This woman has managed to escape and go here. I am so sorry for the inconvenience. Once, the car is here to pick her up, we will leave.” The woman wore nurse costume replied.

“Pick her to where?” Taeyeon asked as her eyes never once left Tiffany who wore white pajamas.

“Hospital.” The nurse answered shortly.

“I wanna come in~~~ Hehehehe.. Drink wine~~ Hahahaha.” Taeyeon felt something wrong. Instead of looking sad, Tiffany seemed to be out of her mind. Her hair was a mess and she didn’t wear any make up, unlike the usual Tiffany she saw.

“Hospital? Is she sick?” It was Sooyoung’s turn to ask this time.

“Yeah. She was too stressed that she is admitted to the hospital for not so sane people by her boyfriend. But I am not sure he is her real boyfriend since he never comes even once and he too doesn’t pay for this woman’s bill.” The nurse hesitantly said.

“So in other words, she is crazy?!” Sooyoung indirectly shrieked.

“Yeah.” The nurse smiled a little. Not long after, a car parked right in front of the restaurant.

“The car is already here. I am so sorry for disturbing you.  We will leave now.” The nurse bowed while gripping Tiffany’s right wrist tightly.

“Wait.” Taeyeon grabbed the nurse hand.

“Yes?”

“Let me be responsible to take care of her.” Taeyeon didn’t know what had made her able to say that. Her heart was unknowingly moved that she blurted it out simply like that.

“Yah! Taeyeon, she is no longer in her right mind.” Sooyoung said after.

“But-“

“I will go with you to the hospital and take care of things so I can be allowed to take care of her from today onward.” Taeyeon cut the statement.

“Okay then. Please follow me.” The nurse said no more. At least, this way, she would be no longer troubled by Tiffany.