Silly, silly me for falling in love with the way you said my name. The way it rolls off your tongue with the right amount of energy and force to make it sound so gentle yet firm with your own attitude.

Yes, I'm a silly girl for going weak in my knees as I stood at the edge of my bed and stared at the huge, white box with thin decorative papers hanging out every corner. Beneath the papers was a dress. A dress with a black bustier top and a tight sequin-lined bodice around the waist and the turquoise bottom flared down to the floor. A dress you bought for me a day after I agreed to be your date on graduation night.

The card that accompanied the box read, with scrawly handwriting, "I hope you like the dress and I can't wait to see you in it. Hong Jonghyun" 

Do I like the dress? Yes. Will I wear it? No. 

This piece of fabric looks exactly like those clothings I'll always ask my grandmother how on earth someone puts on. It's shoulderless, strapless even. And tight. It looks so tight, I feel like I can't breathe just by holding it up from its box.

I stuffed the dress and the decorative papers back into the box and put the lid back in place. There was no way I'm going to wear that to meet him, let alone going to the graduation ball in that. 

I fell back down on my bed and picked up my cellphone, contemplating on whether or not I should text you and tell you I can't go to the ball on the next day. It shouldn't be too late for you to look for another date. Afterall, you're a boy who can get any girl you want. 

To: Hong Jonghyun

I can't g

Your name appeared on my screen before I could even finish typing the message. I touched the green answer button and put the device to my ear, your warm voice filled my insides and brought the butterflies back. 

"Ahyoung? You there?"

"Y-yeah, I am."

"Great," I heard your soft chuckle. "So, have you tried on the dress yet?"

Should I even tell you that I'm not able to go after practically feeling the excitement that was in your voice? Should I break your bubble and ask you to find another owner for the beautiful dress?

"No."

"Oh. Why not?" you asked.

"It's just..." I can't do it. "It's too beautiful to even be taken out of its box. I can't."

You laughed. "Silly girl, that dress is meant to be taken out and worn! By you." 

Yes, I'm a silly girl. For I have fallen for the way you assured me that I would look fabulous in the dress over the phone that night and on the evening of the graduation ball itself. 

My grandmother opened the door of the flat to let you in and you were, perhaps, too surprised to even step in. Your gaze was fixated on me as I walked out of my room in these heels so high I could barely even keep my balance and the dress that's breathtakingly beautiful, literally. 

I could barely breathe with the bodice so tight around my waist and I was probably also too scared to breathe, because you were standing there right in front of me, in a sleek black tuxedo and your bangs was combed back, unlike your usual look.

"You look-"

I held a hand up and stopped you before you could say anything else. "Please don't say anything."

"You look beautiful, Ahyoung, please. Why are you not allowing me to compliment my own date?"

I flushed at your words and even more when you charmed my grandmother by saying nice words to her and reassuring her that you'll send me back home before midnight, safe and sound. I could have sworn to see her swoon back there before she shut the door. 

"I didn't know you had a driver's license." I commented, as you opened the passenger seat of a posh-looking car.

"I didn't know you'd look so stunning in that dress."

"Jonghyun," I groaned. "Stop it." 

Yeah, stop it before I melt at your kind words that describe a girl who looks nothing like me. 

"I picked that dress myself, Ahyoung, give me some credit and stop shunning from my compliments." 

I kept quiet for the rest of the drive to school. I didn't know what to say to you anyway. No one from school has ever been so kind to me like you have. It kind of catches me off guard every time you're being so nice. 

"We're here," you said as you cut off the engine and stepped out of the car. 

The drive was exceptionally short and it didn't even give me enough time to prepare myself to face the rest of the school looking like this. Truthfully speaking, they've never seen me wearing anything else besides my uniform. 

"Ahyoung? You okay?" you asked, ever so kindly. 

Being here, I realized I should have sent that text. I should have told you I can't make it to the ball, that I'm feeling too poorly to even get out of bed. And now I'm here, wondering if I regret the decision to put on the dress and allow my grandmother to do my hair.

"I can't go out there, Jonghyun."

"Why not?"

"Let's just say that I've never worn something like this before."

"Never?" you asked with doubt.

"Never." 

"Good," you smiled. "Then go in there and make their jaws drop and regret ever trying to outcast you."

I didn't dare to look at your eyes, because I knew that if I saw the sincerity in them, I might cry. And I don't want to cry. Instead, I stared at your lips, and how they moved when they speak of kind words, how they shaped each syllabus so perfectly. 

"Ahyoung, come on. You look beautiful, you just have to trust yourself, and trust me." 

Trust you. I already trust you. It's the people's judging gazes I don't trust. For three years, they have never stopped looking at me with those eyes. Their eyes have no warmth, no kindness, no mercy. Unlike yours.

"Okay," I heard myself say and it was enough to send the corner of your lips flying up and your eyes shape like crescents when you smile. Have I mentioned how much I like the crescent more than the full moon now because it resembles your eyes?

"I won't leave you alone." 

That was the last thing you said before you got spun off by that same ty girl from French class the moment we stepped into the gym-converted ballroom. I watched as my hand slipped off your arm and I silently backed off to hide at a corner of the gym.

Irony does exist, doesn't it? The boy who promised not to leave my side left in the end, and another whom I don't even know came. 

"Hey, Yura. Looking good tonight." 

"Get away from me,"I hissed every word but it still wasn't intimidating enough. 

He lifted his hand and my hair, my face and bare shoulders. I couldn't even open my eyes to look at his face. His hand just kept going down and I can't do anything to stop him. It was almost like someone casted a spell on me and I can't move. I was too afraid. I knew I shouldn't have came.

"Back off."

The unfriendly hand was flung off my skin and my eyes flew open to be faced with you punching the boy in his jaw. And another punch. And another. Until the boy's lip bled and he cowered away in fear. 

By then, a crowd has formed around us, speculating the moment where Hong Jonghyun, the boy with his infamous reputation of being a nice next-door-neighbor boy, punched another who was trying to violate me, Kim Yura the invisible girl, at a school event.

"Ahyoung..." you breathed as you took a step closer to me. I was staring at you but even my eyes were probably shaking with fear for I was terrified of what could have happened next. I couldn't breathe and I hated myself for being a damsel in distress.

I don't even feel happy to know that you protected me. All I wanted to do was to run, flee this place and never return.

"Ahyoung..." you called my name again and again, but I didn't reply. I'm ready to run and leave you with the party and the staring crowd. I hated the way the people were looking at me, mocking and teasing, as if I deserved any of this just because I was different. I hated it. 

And that's what I did. I ran and I never looked back no matter how many times you called my name. I knew I should have sent that text. I knew I shouldn't have fallen in love with everything you did. I knew I'm such a silly, silly girl.