Italics are flashbacks

I remember the first time I saw you clearly as if it just happened yesterday. Opposite end of the field. Glowing. Radiant. Now I’m looking at you from across the street in a completely different scenario and you look different. We both look different. We’re older and clearly more matured now as compared to years ago when we were still in high school.

I had an idea it was going to happen anyway. The break up, I mean. It was bound to happen somehow. We were so different, almost too much so. You – the natural socialist and I – the awkward turtle in nearly all situations. It wasn’t what we wanted but preventing it would only cause the grenade to explode in a wider range.

But somewhere along the way, it got to a point where you pushed me too hard, too strong.

“No, I’m not going.”

“Why not?” I saw you squirm on your chair through the video call from our dorm rooms. Video calling was one way we’d communicate when we’re bombarded with assignments for the day. I rolled my eyes at you.

“Because clearly I am not entirely thrilled with the fact that there would be dozen of girls trying to grind you and bite your face every single minute at the party? Gosh, did you already forget what happened the last time we were at one of the parties Jongsuk threw?”

You shifted even more on your chair and ruffled your hair with both hands. Clearly you do remember and I do know how much you hated to talk about it. But I had to, if it’s the only way to stop you from trying to persuade me to go to this party.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go?” You asked again.

“No.” The door unlocked then and my roommate slid into our shared dorm room after her shower. She gave me a nod. “Look Jonghyun, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow okay? Love you.” I ended the call without even waiting for your reply.

“Boyfriend problems?” My roommate asked as she fluffed up her pillows. I shut my laptop down and packed up my desk. “Yep,” I nodded. “He asked me to go to another one of those frat parties Lee Jongsuk throws.”

Even though I’m not a person who opens up to people really quick, I ended up spilling everything out to her. In the end, she told me to join her and give you a little surprise. And a surprise it was indeed. After being reluctantly dragged away from my assignments by my roommate but regret and humiliation.

I saw you kissing another girl, a girl that’s not me who, FYI, was supposed to be your girlfriend. What a pleasant surprise.

I ran. And you know what’s funny? I remember running away back when we were still in high school. Even now as we’re back in college, I’m still running. For some reason, I can’t attend social events because somehow, something bad was bound to happen.

“Ahyoung! Please, stop! I can explain this.”

We were in middle of the road when I couldn’t run further. My lungs were acting up and I feel faint. But even my surfacing asthma couldn’t distract me from the disappointment that was running through every waking nerve inside of me.

“Explain? How do you explain kissing another girl back?” I screamed, my voice echoed through the night. A dog started barking behind one of the gates. I started to move out of the neighbourhood before someone decides to turn me in for public nuisance.

You caught my arm as soon as I took a step away from where I stood, though. “It was a dare!”

I laughed, but there was a thick coat of bitterness around it and it sounded more like a choke than a laugh. I draw more air into my lungs and rolled my eyes. “A dare? Oh, Jonghyun. Please.”

You continued to explain, grabbing both my arms tight enough to almost cut my blood circulation. I couldn’t concentrate anymore, I couldn’t hear your words. The oxygen wouldn’t go to my lungs or my brain or anywhere. The last thing I knew was lying subconscious in your arms before the lights went out.

That wasn’t entirely your fault though, we both knew that. But that didn’t stop you from feeling extra guilty for landing me in the hospital. Perhaps the part where you gone wrong was for pressurizing me to join you in socializing with people when you know it’s a challenge for me to speak to more than three people at a time. And the part where I went wrong was for letting myself get pulled to a frat party which I didn’t even want to attend by a roommate who was irresponsible enough to dump me for the first guy who tapped her when we entered the room.

Either way, that was where things went downhill. You know how people always say that when a person does a bad thing, all the other good ones are immediately forgotten? That was probably the case.

I find myself not able to forget the image of you kissing that girl back at the party whether or not it was on purpose and it always lingers at the back of my mind like a mantra speaking to me, telling me not to give in to you. I never wanted to speak about it again because it’s a wound for both of us, but I couldn’t help myself, especially every time you leaned in and tried to kiss me. Somehow, I’d always pull away and you’d immediately know what it was about. It got so bad to a point where we started fighting about it.

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“You think it’s not hard for me to forget what you did?” I sunk back into my chair and watched as you pace around my dorm room. I’ve always hated it when someone keeps walking up and down a small space, and it was extremely irritating when you did it that day.

“I told you, it was a dare! And I had a couple of drinks!”

“And that sure as hell doesn’t alter the fact that you kissed another girl!” I swivelled my chair around. “It’s already bad enough if you kiss a girl on a dare in front of me, let alone behind my back!”

I knew I lost you when there wasn’t a reply and only a bang of the door when it slammed shut behind my back.

Sometimes, things happen. I’d like to believe that what happened between us – the incident, the meltdown, the break up – meant something and fate has a very good reason for it. Fate brought us together to bring out the good in each other and then brought us apart when that was done. You have changed me in a way that I would never have imagined I would. And there are plans for each of us and it won’t ever happen if we’re still together. That’s what I believe.

I look at you now, walking toward me from across the street, and I can’t help but to smile at the memory of what we used to have. It was undeniably an incredible and endearing time and I truly appreciate the chance that you gave to me, for me to love you. It has been years and I have so many things to say to you. But none of these things matter now. And so I smile and say,

“Hi, Jonghyun.”

And you smile back at me. 

This is the final chapter of Strangers In Love. I'm sorry it's so short.

I have kinda wanted this story to end with a break up but I wasn't sure if it should be heading this way but after dragging it out for so long (due to exams and school and stuff), the news of them ending their virtual marriage sort of inspired me to go on with the original idea I had in mind. Since it's a first love kind of thing for them in this story, it seems rather appropriate for them to break up as an ending. That's just my thinking.

Thank you so much for all of your support toward my story as well as the Jjongah couple. It's such a pity that they had to end their virtual marriage, but thank heavens because at least the last episode wasn't teary otherwise I would have flooded my room and died from it. Haha, kidding.

Let me know what you think about this ending in the comment section below and I'll see you guys in whatever story I post next! Trying to cook something up now.

Until next time, toodles!