People said the more you love someone

the harder for you to leave him

and forget him.

 

Because I already fall too hard with him

I think I should stop seeing him from now on.

Chanyeol's answered made me realised,

there's a reason why we call something  as 'Fantasy'.

Because it can only happen in your mind, it will never become reality.

 

I stopped playing piano with Baekhyun,

I also stopped meeting him or try to encounter him during classes.

I said to him, I become a librarian,

So my duty will be every evening from Monday to Friday.

 

Other reasons of why I avoided him,

because I don't wanna meet Chanyeol too.

I know he is still shocked with my sudden fake confession,

I also cannot bare to meet him like usual because I'm embarassed.

 

No one should know about this secret,

no one should know that I love Baekhyun.

Before Chanyeol could figure out about how much I love Baekhyun,

I should stop showing it in front of him.

And this is the only way I could think,

the way to conceal and hide this feeling from others.

 

Before them, I already live without them,

thus it is not difficult to live without them again.

 

Eventhough my mind said I should forget him,

but I still care for him.

I cannot stop care for him.

I still stalk him everyday, 

I still save his photos everyday,

I still glance at him during assembly,

and I still stare at him whenever I see him around school.

But because he is always surrounded with many people,

So it is not that hard to run away from him,

Eventhough I know, there's no need for him to search for me.

He don't need me, as much as I need him.

 

That day,

while I'm sorting out and arranging the books into the shelves,

I'm eavesdropping the girls who study inside the library.

Instead of reading books, they busy scrolling through their handphone.

 

"Daebak!!! Daebak!!!!" 

"Wae? Wae? Wae??? What happen??"

"Daebak!!! Look at this!"

She shoves her phone in front of her friends.

 

"Baekhyun and his girlfriend. So???"

 

The moment they mentioned Baekhyun name,

my hand stops moving,

my heart stops beating,

my eyes stops blinking,

my mind stops wandering,

and my legs stand still.

 

"She is breaking up with Baekhyun!"

"What?? What?? Why????"

 

My mind also throws the same questions as them.

What?? Why?? How?? When??

 

"Well, it happened 15 minutes ago,"

"Assa, we can flirt with Baekhyun now!!!" and they high-fiving between them.

 

I leave the trolley that full with books,

I dropped 2 to 3 books, 

and dashing out from the library.

I could only think about Baekhyun now.

I could only think that Baekhyun will be very sad now.

His dearest girlfriend left him,

I need to see him,

I need to comfort him,

I need to console him,

I need to hug him.

I just......need him,

eventhough he might not need me.

 

I run through the corridors,

I could only think of one place,

where he would go.....our music room.

I wiped away the tears that I don't even realise 

already drenched my whole cheeks.

 

I opened the door,

I'm panting.....hard.

In my heart, I pray

I pray that Baekhyun will be here

and he wont do anything stupid.

 

I saw him.

I saw his back, standing beside the piano,

while his head slightly looked down.

 

His usual back that always look firm

and reliable,

for the first time,

today,

it looks so weak and cold.

He is crying....

Silent but hard.

 

The sight of him makes my heart breaks,

Without much thinking,

I run towards him,

as if my life depends on it.

 

I hugged him,

from his back.

He was surprised,

But he knows that was me who hugged him

like a baby.

I hugged him, in hope that he can rely on me.

Our tears and sobs become one,

At first we just cry silently, 

but atter some time, it becomes harder 

until I hiccup and Baekhyun try to stop me by holding on my hands.

 

"Baekhyun.....Baekhyun....I'm sorry.....

I'm sorry,"

 

Baekhyun holds my hand,

and turning around and facing me.

I looked at him,

I know that I look really hideous and ugly right now,

But I cannot stop from crying...

I should be happy

but when I think about how much Baekhyun loves his girl

I cannot stop myself from crying.

 

"Baekhyun.....I'm sorry....

you don't deserve this,"

Instead of me, who should wipe his tears away,

Baekhyun wipes mine, 

with tender and love,

so gentle and soft.

 

"Hyunhee~ah, thank you for caring about me,

and thank you for searching for me,

and thank you for everything,"

 

Baekhyun cupped my cheeks with both of his hands,

and suddenly he kissed me.

He kissed me on the lips.

I'm stunned, shocked...

But if this kiss can heal his heart for a little bit,

and can comfort him,

I'm willing to kiss him,

as long as he will be happy like his usual self.

 

The kiss,

not too short,

not too long.

Its so soft and gentle.

Baekhyun stops kissing me,

we look at each other,

its been a month since I look at him like this.

I admit that I miss him,

but I dunno what he feels when he looks at me.

 

Baekhyun hugs me,

firm and tight,

and then, he kisses my forehead and hugs me back.

 

"Thank you for searching for me,

please, don't leave me...If you also leave me,

I will be alone,"

I nodded and hugs him back.

 

"Let's start a new, 

and be my girlfriend, Hyunhee~ah,"

 

I'm speechless,

my tounge-tied,

am I dreaming or hallucinating,

is this fantasy or reality?

 

I let go of him 

and look at him,

he nodded his head and smiled at me.