I walk away from him
Because I don't want him too look at me while I'm crying
I already ugly enough without tears, if I'm crying....
Its worst.

But the main reason is....
just because......I am scared
I am scared with my own reasons...
because I can never beat her.......his girl.

*                                                                                                          *                                                                                                                   *

I miss him
When I'm scrolling through my smartphone
Stalking his personal social networking sites

It is my daily routine
Just looking at his profile for nothing
Eventhough there are no updates or newsfeed from him

I love him
When I see his selfies in his page
I would smile looking at his pictures
His pictures always give me strength and sort of happiness in my heart

It's really a good thing that his account not in private
If it's private, it might be difficult for me to stalk him

I love him
I would secretly saved his pictures in my phone
Being the great Baekhyun, it is not that hard to find his HD pictures
since he is very popular and already known in entire school around this country
He got lots of fans that like to take his picture and upload it on the fansite

Eventhough we are in a same batch
But I'm not brave enough to ask to accept my friend request
Being a coward me, I will just look at him from far

I know all of his personal account
From Twitter, Instagram, Blog, and even Facebook
But the said thing is I don't know his Kakao, Line, or Telegram
because we are not that close 
to have a kind of relationship that we need each other's number

I love him
But i'm not a sasaeng
I just like to stalk his personal account 
and try to know more things that happen in his life

I love him
Eventhough when I look at his accounts...
Its mostly about his girl....
about their dates, about their small conversations,
and just everything about them

When I read through his accounts
I know how much he loves his girl
that he could give her his world
just like what I will do to him

Its badly hurt inside
But its more hurt when I stop myself
from loving him and stop looking at his accounts
Because, thats the only source where I can know more about him

I love him
When he walks toward me that evening
While plastering his goofy smile at me

He streched his hand toward me and said...

"Hyunhee, give me your number. It's hard to contact you because I don't have your number"

I look at him with shocked expression
Please don't tell me it is just a dream
Because I dream everyday, to ask for his number
 

His words...
make me numb and frozen
Its shocking but sweet at the same time

"Hurry up Hyunhee. Take my phone and save your number ok,"

He touched my hand...
and put his phone inside my palm

Its true that we have a slight skinship when we are together
Just because we cannot avoid it when I learn piano from him
But this kind of skinship, it really feel different
Its burning and warming me inside

It may be not intentionally by him
But it means world to me

I unlock his phone
Its their picture together
Him and his girl....as the wallpaper of his screen

It is already expected
But I don't know why its killing me inside
I saved my number in his phone and give it back to him

But to be honest
The moment he gives me his phone
I feel like fainting, because I never though I would have this kind of chance
A chance of touching his personal belonging
I never know, that our friendship would allow me to do this thing

"Eurerong, eurerong, eurerong....."
Its my ringtone.....
I took out my phone from my pockets
Its blinked....indicating a miss call from someone

"That's me Hyunhee.....my number ok,"

He talked to me with his radiant smile

And on that time....
once again....I fall in love with him
As he think that I am important enough to him
that he needs my number to contact me

Please god, please let time stop at this moment
because his action just make me
fall too hard with him.

*                                                                                                                        *                                                                                                     *

Honestly, I want to write more
But i'm just too sleepy to continue it
so...I AM SORRY
But I think this is what the things that I really wanna tell all of your tonight
Happy reading everyone~~~