I cried hard that day, 
I even not watching his performance until end.....

 

I think, I already FALL TOO HARD with him
That, there's no other way out for me to forget him.

So I decide, 
To keep loving him...like before
While he keep loving his girl....like before.

 

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I love him
When I run away from his performance
Its beautiful, too beautiful
and very soothing

But that song will never meant to be mine
It is for his girl
Eventhough it is meant for him
But I know he will never notice it

And I don't think
I'm ready to make him notice it.

 

I miss him
When I avoid him the next day
Because knowing myself, I know I will break down if I see him right now

I would rather missing him for now
And make myself calm
Rather than acting cool in front of him

For now
Just let me be alone
So that I can think rationally about my feeling

 

I miss him
So I meet him for the next day
At our special place
Music room

I saw him
He is playing a music sheets on the piano
His back.....I like his back
It looks warm in my eyes

I love it when he just plays a random song
It shows that he enjoys playing it
I wish...that I can always see him playing like this
Because I will never get tired of him

 

I love his fingers
his fingers look so slender but yet so beautiful
more beautiful than any other girls fingers

When he uses it to play the piano
thats when I feel like I'm in heaven
I swear, I will never get tired of it

I swear.....

 

He stopped playing and looked at me

"Hyunhee....you come. Where are you yesterday? I'm searching for you...."

His word.....his word just immediately made me melt inside
He said....
He said that....
He is searching for me...
He is searching for me???

This is real? Or just some kind of jokes from him?
Am I dreaming right now?

He is searching for me.

"I'm just helping my parents with some errand.Sorry"

He is walking towards me
He is smiling.....
His smile, look so genuine....
His smile, never fail to make me smile too

If before, I could only dreaming to see his smile in front of me
But right now, he is not only smiling in front of me
But he is smiling at me.....at me

 

"Hyunhee...your song, nope I mean our song...DAEBAK!
Everyone loves it. Its perfect"

Our song....
It sounds so good hearing that word
Our song.....
Baekhyun and me song.

"Do you like it.....that song?"

"Don't be silly Hyunhee, of course I like it....
I love it....I love it very much,"

 

He loves that song
It is such a relief to know that he loves my song
If only he knows the contents of that song was directed toward him
Will he still likes it? Or maybe hate it?

"She also likes it. Thank you Hyunhee,"

His girl also likes it
I don't know how I should react to that statement
I just nod my head and smile at him

 

I still love him
When he falls asleep that evening
Especially when he falls asleep on top of the piano
After struggling with the notes and keys 
In order to arrange a good music

There's once
I saw him fell asleep in the class
He looks so cute and calm at the same time
I wish, I could sleep with him
So that I will have a good sleep while lying beside him

 

I love him
So I have this urge....
this urge to caress his flawless face
and his soft hair

Carefully....
I walk toward him
Staring at his face....
already such a bless to me

Stey by step,
I reach him....
He looks cute and handsome at the same time
Which automatically make my hearts fluttering
and my smile grows wider

I stretch my arm
But I hold myself
Should....should I touch him
If I touch him...will he awake?

But I still stretch my arm and his hair
Just like in my imagination
It is soft, smooth, and silky
Even my hair not like him
Or should I say....it is far away from his perfect hair

I look at his face...
I keep staring at his face...

 

I miss him
And I love him
without thinking much.....
I kiss him
Yup I kiss him....I kiss his cheek
And I think, it is the best feeling ever.

 

"Hyunhee........."

That voice.....that voice
I had been caught by him

".......you kissed Baekhyun,"

I turned my head at him....
at Chanyeol
with shock face

It happens too fast that I'm not ready for it

"It's....it's nothing Chanyeol. Nothing happen between us,"

Slowly...I walk away from him
and from Chanyeol
I try to control my feelings.

I should stay calm and pretending like nothing happen

"You kissed him Hyunhee......
you.....you like him?"

"No....No Chanyeol!
It is just, I'm not in a right mind just now.....and it just happens...

Please Chanyeol, please....don't tell Baekhyun about this,"

 

"I will.....I will go now. Meet you again later, Chanyeol,"

 

 

I love him
But I don't want him to know about it
No, it should be not like this
So, I run away from them

I hope that Chanyeol will keep it from Baekhyun

Being hate by Baekhyun....
Will be the last thing that I ever wanted to happen in my life
Please Chanyeol

 

I still love him
When I see him with his girl....
and his friends

We are having a picnic that day
EXO invite me, and they said this small picnic is a gift for me
to celebrate 'Our Song' 
which become a hit in our school.

 

The thought of spending time with him on that day
Make me smile from ear to ear
Seeing him in casual clothes....is my dream

Eventhough, it hurts so much in here
in my Heart

 

Practically, I'm spending time with him....with them
But in reality, I just stare at him
Looking at him and his girl teasing each other
and laughing to their own conversation

On that time,
I wish that I'm his girl.

 

 

I want to look away....
I desperately want to look away from them...
But I guess, I just love him too much
That I cannot bear to look at other things
but at his beautiful face.

He looks so happy.

 

"You are so obvious Hyunhee......."

I looked at Chanyeol

"It is too obvious that you like Baekhyun,"

I just sit in silence
Dunno what kind of answer I should tell him
To admit it....I feel like I'm revealing myself
But to deny it....It feels like I'm lying to myself
So I decide to shut my mouth

 

"Baekhyun......he is a good friend,"

I nod my head, agreeing with his statement
He is indeed a good friend
Which I never imagine that I will have before

"The song.......it is for him right?"

Chanyeol.....please stop asking me
I dunno what I should answer you Chanyeol

"I know its for him...because the lyrics, it feels alive.
Don't you ever thinking to confess your feelings to him, Hyunhee?"

 

I look at Chanyeol with small smile
A smile that obviously tells him how hurt I am
And how longing I am to be with him
But that smile also tells him
How happy I am, when I see him happy right now

"Chanyeol..........."

"Hmmm.....," he looked at me with questioning eyes
which searching for answer

 

"Look at them....they look so happy right now.
They complete each other,
they don't need a third party that intended to destroy their relationship.
Its good to see him smiling like that,"

"But it hurts to see you smiling like that,"

"It only hurts because you saw me the other day.
If you never see me that day, you will never know Chanyeol,"

 

"Then why you still kiss him....without any intention to tell him?"

 

I sigh......
Its weird to sigh in front of people
especially in front of Chanyeol,
Baekhyun's best friend.

 

"Chanyeol.....he got such a perfect girlfriend, perfect partner,
She is the prettiest in our batch,
she is the kindest among other girls,
she is smarter than me, 
she got an angelic voice, which able to melt every guys heart,
she is beautiful, slim, hot, and everything that all guys want.....
On top of that, she is the only one that can make Baekhyun smile like that.

Ever since he couples with her....
His smile.....looks more radiant that before,"

Then I stop, and take a glance toward Baekhyun who is chasing his girl.

 

"Meanwhile, I'm the ugliest girl in our school,
(you are not, Chanyeol murmurs)
No one knows about me, so it doesnt matter how kind I am,
I am not smart, I just good in writing,
I can neither sing nor play piano like her, like Baekhyun,
and above all, I'm hideous, fat, overweight, and everything that all guys don't want,"

I look at Chanyeol....and he is looking at me.

 

"So Chanyeol, tell me......please tell me...
How I can beat her? How I can beat her?
How I can beat her Chanyeol.......
I'm nothing,"

And for the first time, I just let my tears flow in front of other people
After keeping it for 3 years, alone to myself.

"You are not Hyunhee,"

 

"Chanyeol....please don't lie to me,
Even you agree....that there's no guy that WANT ME as their girlfriend,
Especially for GUYS like all of you.....

Even becoming one of your friends, already a miracle to me,"

 

I walk away from him
Because I don't want him too look at me while I'm crying
I already ugly enough without tears, if I'm crying....
Its worst.

 

But the main reason is....
just because......I am scared
I am scared with my own reasons...
because I can never beat her.......his girl.

 

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Hello everyone.....
Hahaha I guess I will just update this story whenever I feel like I wanna tell something
It feels good to let it out...rather than keep it inside....right???
Hope that all of you like this...emmm chapter?
have a good day everyone~~~