“What’s the catch?”

Hanbin glanced at her, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t just invite me to eat with you and then drag me to the soccer field for nothing, right?” said Hayi as she sat Indian style facing the empty field.

They only had 20 minutes left before lunch period is over. On the way out, Hayi pondered whether Hanbin has something to tell or Hanbin just really wanted to eat lunch with her. She could only imagine the looks on her friends’ faces right now. And could hear them giggling and talking about the two of them.

Hanbin chuckled. “Maybe I just really wanted to eat lunch with you.”

“Where’s your crew?”

“What crew?”

Hayi had never been introduced to Hanbin’s crew because Joy never really talked about it. But she’s seen them a couple of times, with their backs towards her, and she’s never really got a good look on their faces. She was curious. She wanted to know how similar Hanbin’s friends would be compared to Jongin’s friends and Seolhyun’s.

“Your group of friends,” Hayi answered. She pointed at the banana milk on Hanbin’s left hand when he asked her which of the two she wanted. With Hanbin giving her a quizzical look, she only answered, “I love banana milk. Strawberry’s too sweet.”

Hanbin shrugged. “We don’t always eat lunch together.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“What’s with the 20 questions?” Hanbin was amused.

Hayi shrugged. “Just making conversation.”

“It’s a good thing,” Hanbin replied, smiling like he had a secret. “The nine of us don’t like to be in one room with my hyung and noona. We get comparisons.”

Hayi nodded, biting her lip. “Why can’t you just ignore it then?”

“It gets harder sooner or later.” Hanbin grabbed two cupcakes, tossed the other one to Hayi and ate the one he he had. “We thought it’s best to just eat lunch together somewhere other than the cafeteria. It’s why you didn’t see me there on your first day, right? And you knew about me later than my hyung and my noona.”

She cast him a suspicious look. “How’d you know?”

“You never would’ve called me a ert or a e in the first place.”

“You have a point,” said Hayi, chewing on her cupcake. “But I think I’d still call you a ert.”

He stared at her again, his smile ghosting with amusement. “You’re not scared of me?”

“Should I be?”

“Probably.”

“I don’t think so. Unless you have a knife, a gun or an axe with you.”

He giggled. “Touché.”

“Hey, I have a question.”

“Go ahead. You’re pretty straightforward, so far.”

“Why me?”

Once the first cupcake was consumed, he grabbed the third cupcake, left the last one, tossed it to Hayi, and gobbled the entire thing up. “Why what?” he asked but since his mouth was full, it sounded more like “mmm mutt?”

She chuckled shortly at the picture of Hanbin struggling to swallow the entire cupcake. “Why did you want to be friends with me?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, one end of his mouth tilting up into a crooked smile. “I think it must’ve that time when you called me a ert. It was the first time. Then you sang and I thought, ‘I have to be friends with this girl’ then you called me e—that’s also a first time.”

“So catcalling is a way to befriend you?”

This boy was unbelievable.

He grinned knowingly. “No. Most people would offer me flowers or bribery.”

“I feel like you’re taking this entire thing a joke.”

“I find you cute,” he said, deeply amused. “You think it’s a joke?”

She punched him on his shoulder jokingly. “I think you’re very honest.”

They spend the next minute in silence after Hanbin responded with a mere smile—a smile that contained secrets Hayi didn’t know about. It took a few seconds before it disappeared on his face, Hayi noticed. The silence between them was comfortable—surprisingly for Hayi because she was never really good with no-words-spoken silence with other people or strangers—and calming.

It was astonishing that even after just a day of being friends with Kim Hanbin, Hayi found it really comfortable to be with him. It was as if they had been friends even before they knew each other. Hayi had always been a quiet person but Hanbin liked to talk a lot, bring up the most random of topics, and they’d spend the next few minutes talking about basically anything.

Yesterday during the session, Hayi and Hanbin whispered conversations of music, of life and why things happen the way they happen and why the deepest parts of the ocean contain the strongest pressures compared to the surface.

When Hanbin ran out of words, he’d keep quiet and fiddle with the paper handed out to him by the coach. Few minutes later he was talking about bees or Mozart. Hayi found it cute and entertaining.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Hanbin asked quietly.

Hayi thought the question was mostly to himself, only he accidentally said it out loud, because if it was for her, he would’ve looked her straight in the eye. He was playing and plucking out the grasses.

“Well, my Mom wanted me to become a doctor,” she answered, propping one elbow on her knee and resting her cheek against the palm of her hand. “My Dad said I could be anything I want to be.”

“What do you want?”

“I like to sing,” she confessed, twiddling with her fingers. “I think I might have wanted to become a singer back then. I grew up and then I wanted to become a swimmer.”

“And?” he prompted.

“I think I might want to become a doctor this time.” For my Dad.

“Cool.”

“What about you?”

He shrugged. “I think you’d find it silly.”

“Dreams aren’t silly.” Hayi offered an encouraging smile. “They are who you want to be. But it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” he insisted. “I want to become an artist.”

She grinned. “That’s great. Why would I find it silly?”

“But wanting to become an artist these days causes people to think it’s all just a stupid dream. You audition for the company you want to be in but there’s an intersection—you pass or you don’t. When you do, you train, but in the end you find an intersection again—you debut or you don’t. When you debut, it’s all just the same. The worst part of it? It’s all vague.”

“Well, future has always been ambiguous, Hanbin,” she said. “I don’t think anyone can predict it.”

“I know. That’s my problem,” he said, frustrated. “I want to know how it turns out for me. I want to know if I get to become a singer. I want to know if I become successful so I can prove it. All these uncertainties and the negativity and discouragement I get from the people around me—sometimes, it gets me down. It makes me think if I actually am stupid for wanting to become an artist.”

Hayi took a deep breath. This wasn’t just an ordinary, casual conversation. This was so much more than that.

“Okay, tell you what, I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Hayi offered, sitting closer to Hanbin. “Back where I previously lived, there’s a toy shop just a few blocks away. When I was eight years old, I wanted to have the limited edition Pikachu teddy bear and it was the only one around our area.”

Hanbin raised one eyebrow, amused, and the corners of his mouth curved to form a small smile.

“I begged and begged my parents to buy me that for days,” she continued, laughing when he did. “I even kneeled down and cooked them breakfast because I told them I’d do anything. But two weeks passed and nothing. The teddy bear was just too expensive for us. So I went to the store and asked the manager if I could work for it.”

Hanbin cackled. “You asked the manager?” He burst out laughing again. “Geez—and you were eight?”

She grinned. It was nice making Hanbin laugh. “Yes, I know. I just—I really wanted it. So I asked the manager and at first, he said I couldn’t work for it because that would be against the law. But I told him we could keep it our little secret. Few hours later, he finally said yes and I worked for it. One month later I got my prize.”

“Wait, if you worked for it,” he narrowed his eyes, “what did you do?”

“I only have to stand outside the shop and convince people to buy from the shop,” Hayi said proudly, laughing at the memory.

“And they did?”

“Some did. Others were too hard-headed.”

He clapped and nodded his head, as if to acknowledge Hayi’s achievement. “Wait, didn’t your parents wonder or get mad at you when they found out?”

She crumpled her banana milk in her hand. “They were angry, of course! They thought it was pretty stupid and shallow of me to want something that tangible. In a few years, the teddy bear’s value would decrease.”

“Okay.” He laughed. “But I don’t get it. What’s your point?”

“My point is despite the fact that my parents thought it was pretty stupid of me to want something, I didn’t let that stop me.” She smiled at him hopefully. “I wanted it. Like you, I had my doubts. The manager could’ve just made a fool out of me and gave it to someone else. The bear was the intersection—it was either I get it or I don’t.”

He stared at her, his expression unreadable.

“Hanbin, if it makes you happy, don’t let anything stop you from getting what you want. It’s your life to live; not theirs.” She placed one hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to live a life others don’t understand.”

Silence. Silence followed. Hayi wondered if she had said something wrong. The expression on Hanbin’s face gave nothing away. However, he continued to stare at her, and as seconds passed by, she was beginning to feel self-conscious. He could pierce a hole on her face with that kind of stare.

And it felt strange—to Hayi, it felt like the world has stopped, the time has stopped. Like there was no one else there but them. Her stomach was doing somersaults and weird flips.

(Hypothetically speaking, they’re basically the only ones eating lunch at the soccer field.)

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He blinked. “I… well, I’m just glad I can talk to you about anything. Not just Twilight and vampires.”

She laughed, feeling relieved all of a sudden. And when she laughed, he laughed, too.

Maybe if Hanbin didn’t stop staring at her like that, he would’ve noticed her cheeks turning red. He would’ve noticed her holding her breath.

But from what?

Once lunch period was over, Hanbin and Hayi decided to head back to their respective classrooms. Their conversation didn’t just stop on dreams. They talked more and more but on lighter subjects this time. Hanbin never mentioned it again.

However, it was something she couldn’t just forget. At that moment back at the field, it was the first time she’d ever seen Hanbin get so serious. Of course, it’s only been a day since they became friends. But to see that side of him this early, she couldn’t help but think of what she’d see more for the next days or weeks or months.

And frankly? Hayi wanted to see more. It was exciting… but confusing at the same time.

“So, I’m right.”

With her hand on the door, she turned to face Hanbin who has been following her since they got back from the field. She thought they had separate ways earlier. She cast him a quizzical look.

“I wasn’t sure where your room was,” explained Hanbin, scratching his nape. “I had to ask some students and they all gave different answers.”

She raised her eyebrows, puzzled. “Why would you wanna know?”

“So I can see you whenever I want.”

Silence. And then she chuckled a few seconds after that, because she wasn’t sure whether to feel flattered that the Kim Hanbin wanted to see her or feel threatened at the fact that he’d want to see her anytime.

“That’s a stupid reason.”

Somersaults. Flips.

“No, it’s not,” he argued, frowning.

Just then, the bell rang. Students began walking and dispersing, all heading back to their classrooms. Hayi didn’t miss a couple of curious eyes from the crowd.

“I’ll go inside,” she told Hanbin. “Where’s your room?”

“Uh, just right next to yours.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Somersaults. Flips.

She’s no one.

And she was. Hanbin knew what he was getting into but he wasn’t going anywhere with her. In his defense, Lee Hayi was a pretty interesting girl—smart, blunt and a little mean—but that was it. He liked talking to her.

“Kim Hanbin?”

The class representative Jung Daehyun was standing right outside Hanbin’s respective classroom when the latter arrived right in front of it. Few minutes ago, he had thoughts of Hayi and the song and his friends and his father but he never did realize where his feet were leading him.

“What are you doing here?” Daehyun asked curiously, his eyebrows meeting and his tone very inquisitive as he stared at Hanbin with narrowed eyes. Class was starting in a few.

Hanbin wasn’t sure either but since he’s here, he might as well get to class. “I’m… actually here for class.”

Daehyun’s eyes widened. “You are? Since when?”

Hanbin chuckled. “Oh, come on, Daehyun-ah. It’s not like I was gone forever.”

“Skipping classes half of the semester is basically forever,” Daehyun pointed out, still suspicious. “You know the only reason why you’re still in this class but why have you come back?”

Hanbin ought to ponder that question. Why did I come back? Hanbin asked himself mentally but even he wasn’t sure of the answer. His thoughts were jumbles of Lee Hayi and the song and his friends and his family and his mother. The only thing he was certain of was that his feet somehow led him here.

“I don’t know, Daehyun-ah. I don’t know.”

i thought it was awkward for hanbin to call daehyun without a hyung lol just imagine that they're of the same age in this story!

comments are extremely appreciated! i like to know if i'm going the right path, thank you and a happy new year guys!