Ji Yong was angry, watching his girlfriend hurt. “You stupid girl,” he said harshly and she flinched. “I am the boyfriend; I should be protecting you, not the other way around. What were you thinking, jumping in front of me like that?”

Lia was hurt by his harsh words. Ji Yong never used that tone of voice with her. He was usually so sweet, so gentle. What happened? She cried, not liking this. “I’m sorry, oppa,” she said.

Ji Yong was shocked. He didn’t expect her to cry and immediately felt bad. “Jagiya,” he said, his voice filled with remorse. “Mianhae. Don’t cry, please.” He hugged her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

Lia shook her head. “I’m . . . sorry . . .” she said weakly.

He shut his eyes. “Don’t,” he said. “It’s my fault I shouldn’t have asked you to sleep with me. I’m sorry.”

“We didn’t even . . .”

“I know, but still.”

“Ji Oppa —”

He covered to stop her from talking. “Don’t talk,” he said. “Go to sleep, my sweets.” I love you, please don’t die.

“Stay with me for awhile please,” she said in a small voice.

So he did. He sang songs for her. He kept singing and singing softly and she just listened. She played with his fingers as he her hair, singing.

Finally she fell asleep.

He kissed her head and went back to his own bed to sleep. He could hear her sobs and realized she was awake, that she never actually fell asleep. He wanted to go over there to her, to hold her and kiss her, to make actual love to her and tell her everything is going to be all right.

But he was so tired.

He closed his eyes and went to sleep, tuning the sobs of his girlfriend out. . . .

He woke up with a start. He checked the time. It was four in the afternoon. So late already? He rubbed his eyes sleepily and turned to Lia’s bed.

But Lia wasn’t there. Her bed was empty.

He looked around the room frantically but he couldn’t see her. Where was she?

He pressed the bell to call for a nurse. Few minutes later, a nurse came in with a smile plastered all over her face. “Ah, Mr. Kwon, you are finally awake,” she said.

“Where’s Lia?” he blurted out.

He noticed that her smile faded for a bit but returned almost at once. “She is fine,” she replied. “Please do not worry.”

Something about her voice and her eyes made it seem like Lia is not fine. “Where is she?” he asked.

“Please do not worry.”

“Where is she?”

The nurse didn’t say anything. She turned to him. “Your friend wants to see you.” She left the room.

“Damn that nurse,” he cursed under his breath.

Seung Ri came in the room.

“Maknae, where is Lia?” he asked. “What happened to her? Why isn’t she here?”

Seung Ri didn’t know what to say. He tried to think quickly. “Lia  . . . she got an asthma attack and . . .” he trailed off.

“Say it.”

He shook his head, pressing his hand to his mouth. He refused to speak, hanging his head low. His bangs were so long it covered his eyes when he said that.

Ji Yong gasped as a thought struck him. “She’s dead?”

More silence. Seung Ri's face paled.

He shook his head. “I don’t believe you. She can’t be dead.” He looked up to the ceiling. “WHY?” he yelled. “WHY DID YOU TAKE HER FROM ME? WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO BE TAKEN AWAY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?”

Seung Ri’s eyes grew wide in fear.

Ji Yong covered his face in his hands and cried really hard. He felt so lost. Love, life . . . lost. “I’d never got a chance to say goodbye,” he whispered. I never got tell her I love her. He was so  . . . heartbroken.

“She’s not dead, babo.”

His head jerked up to see Tae Yang in front of him, carrying something limp in his arms.

Lia.

“What?” He glared at Seung Ri who had been suppressing a smile all this time. Ji Yong had been so distraught he didn’t hear the door open. “You lied?”

Seung Ri shrugged. “Well, it wasn’t a lie when she got an asthma attack,” he began, “but the dead bit . . . well, she wouldn’t be here if we were telling the truth.”

Ji Yong just glared at him. “You’re lucky I can’t move or else your legs would be broken by now.”

Seung Ri whimpered.

Tae Yang set her down next to Ji Yong, who just stared, dumbfounded, at her. He touched her. She was warm. He could hear her slow and faint breathing but otherwise, she was very much alive.

Thank goodness.

Her eyes flickered opened. “Ji Oppa,” she said in a small voice. She smiled, happy to be in his arms. She turned, her hand gripping his shirt tightly. “Don’t leave me.” She closed her eyes, a smile playing

“Lia . . .”

She opened her eyes, frowning. “You know, it’s rude to disturb people when they are trying to sleep,” she said.

He laughed. She’s back. “My Lia is back,” he said happily, kissing her. “You’re back.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she replied.

The door swung opened and TOP walked in, his eyes red. It looked as though he’s been crying.

“I’m sorry,” he started to say. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

Ji Yong felt Lia stiffened against him. She hid her face, not wanting to face her brother at the moment. So he turned to his hyung. “I didn’t do anything to her,” he said firmly. “I would never do anything that she doesn’t want to do. I promised her.”

TOP nodded. “I know,” he said. “I believe you. I’m sorry, Ji Yong. I never meant to hurt you.” He turned to his sister. “Mei, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

Lia looked up and stared coldly at him. “I’m sorry,” she said slowly, “but it’s going to take a long time for me to forgive you for hurting Ji Oppa.”

TOP was shocked. “Mei, I —” he began.

“I don’t care about the fact that you hurt me, or that I nearly died because of you,” she cut him off, “but I can’t forgive you for your intentions in attempting to kill Ji Oppa.”

“I wasn’t —”

“I don’t care,” she interrupted again. “If I hadn’t jumped in front of Ji Oppa, you would have continued and wouldn’t stop probably until he couldn’t breathe anymore.”

“No . . .”

Lia looked away. She was hurt, but she was angry. She wanted to forgive him, but after what he had done to someone innocent, without giving him a chance to explain. Okay, she was angry.

“I hate you,” she said harshly, turning away. The tears were falling down again, and she couldn’t hold her feelings in anymore. She had to lash out. “I hate you. I wish I never found out you were my brother! I wish that my brother wasn’t you! I wish it was either Bae Oppa or Dae Sung Oppa or Maknae Oppa. Anyone but you! I hate you!”

“Lia, you don’t mean that,” Dae Sung said, trying to help TOP out.

“NO!” she burst out and she threw a pillow at her brother, who caught it. “I hate you, Oppa! I wished we never found out you were my brother.”

Ji Yong closed . “Enough,” he said firmly. “Are you crazy? If you waste any more of your energy there’s a high chance you might have another asthma attack. Stupid maknae already made me think you were dead. Don’t actually go die on me.”

Lia glowered at him but she listened to him. She didn’t want to leave him.

TOP, however, was sad and hurt at what Lia said. He always wanted to protect her, always wanted to make her happy. Yet he had done the opposite instead. He had caused her misery by being overprotective. He had hurt her by beating Ji Yong up.

He had almost killed her by accident.

“Hyung, I think you should leave now,” Tae Yang said quietly.

He nodded. “Okay.” He left the room, his head low. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He walked down the hall.

Lia began to cry all over again. Ji Yong hugged her protectively. He didn’t like to see her tears. He wanted to always see her smile. He never want to see her sad.

“Baby, you got a week before you leave,” he said. “Let’s make this count by recovering, okay?”

She nodded. She stared at the place where TOP was standing just now.

Oppa, why didn’t you beg for more forgiveness? Why did you run away? I would have forgiven you. I was angry, Oppa.

But why did you go? Do you not care about me? Was that why you didn’t bother to beg for forgiveness?

Oppa, I’m sorry.

* * *

Lia left Korea without making up to TOP. She wasn’t fully recovered yet but the doctor said she was fit enough to go back. So now she was back in Melbourne.

Ji Yong promised her that he would be fine, that TOP won’t hurt him again. He was sure that TOP wouldn’t hurt him again.

Soon she went back to her old life, going to school and hanging around with the friends she grew up with.

Big Bang had a concert coming up so she hardly had the time to talk to the other four members. She missed Ji Yong and the boys so terribly much.

She missed waking up to see Ji Yong’s sleeping face next to her, miss feeling the closeness. She missed Dae Sung’s big smile everyday and Seung Ri being annoying by trying to convince her that he is really cute. She missed playing with the dogs. She missed Tae Yang’s gentle voice whenever she vented out on her brother to him.

Frankly, she missed her brother too.

She wouldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep. Her grades began to drop and she didn’t care. She just wanted to go back.

But she can’t.