A/N: Hi-yeom! Sorry if this is extremely late u_u this was supposed to be uploaded last week but that time I got a sudden burst of deression over something that happened > n < I seriously was so sad that I didn't do anything except sleep for a few days hahahah ; w ; But Im okay now so FINALLY I could get on aff to upload this <3 Doojoonie's past is revealed huhuuuuuuhhhh d(e v e)b Also a bit of angst here but I just discorvered that I am not good at writing angst so I apologize HAHAHAHAH. I'll try to ractice angst hue....All mistakes are mine u_u Hope you enjoy and leave a comment too if you have time!

 

 

 

Guilt

 

 

To: Mr. Grumpy Doojoon

From: Yoseoppu

4:00 pm

Doojoon!! When are we gonna meet up for the project??~~~

 

 

To: Annoying Bread Boy

From: Doojoon

4:20 pm

What is this? We just came home from school. Don't bother me.

 

 

 

To: Mr. Grumpy Doojoon

From: Yoseoppu

4:21 pm

So mean!! >_< You're so mean T-T

 

 

 

To: Annoying Bread Boy

From: Doojoon

4:21 pm

I'm blocking you.

 

 

 

To: Mr. Grumpy Doojoon

From: Yoseoppu

4:22 pm

Wait!! Im serious! We need to meet up! We still don't have a topic  _   

 

 

 

To: Annoying Bread Boy

From: Doojoon

4:40 pm

Fine.

 

 

To: Mr. Grumpy Doojoon

From: Yoseoppu

4:41 pm

Finally! XD do you have time now? Just for a few minutes. Let's meet at the park we went to the first time ^_^

 

 

 

To: Annoying Bread Boy

From: Doojoon

4:42 pm

Fine. Just a while, got it?

 

 

 

Yoseob sat on the bench humming a small tune happily. He was swinging his legs as he looked around the park, seeing different people doing different things. Yoseob smiled, "They all look so happy" he said to himself. The sun was setting and the night breeze was kicking in, and Yoseob hugged the sweater he was wearing against him tighter. The day had been slow – nothing interesting happening the whole day but Yoseob nonetheless still liked going to school, even though a lot of people didn’t like school… he enjoyed it.

 

 

He enjoyed having to immerse himself in other things, stressful or not. That way he could keep his mind busy from other things.

 

 

"Bread Boy."

 

 

Yoseob looked up to see Doojoon walking towards him with a frown on his face. Yoseob grinned at him in return. "Mr. Grumpy!!" He said cheerfully, waving his hand – and a little too loudly making other people in the park turn their head to them. Doojoon stammered, feeling all the eyes on them all of a sudden. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, glaring at the younger. "Shut up. You're too loud" His tone was sharp as he stood in front of the other – looking down at the other who stared back cheerfully. He was honestly not excited for this – he dreaded it in fact – and he sent the whole time dragging his feet as he walked here, not exactly hurrying.

 

 

The little staring contest lasted for a while before Yoseob laughed – light and tinkling in the air. He shifted to the side of the bench, patting the empty space beside him. "Doojoonah sit" Doojoon scoffed, "You make it sound like I'm a dog." He had a sudden urge to refuse to sit down just because he didn’t want to look like he followed the younger, but he sat down nonetheless, it was pointless to decline that offer anyway and that he’d just be like those annoying, demanding, spoiled little kids.  

 

 

It was quiet after that, Yoseob relishing the feeling of the breeze against his face while Doojoon... He just didn't want to start a conversation at all. "Isn't it nice?" Yoseob finally said, making Doojoon looked at him questioningly. "The sunset...." Yoseob continued, looking up at the stars with a small smile on his face.

 

 

"It's beautiful..."  

 

 

Doojoon kept looking at Yoseob. The way his eyes sparkled slightly, his hair just falling slightly over his eyes, and the way he smiled – it was the first time Doojoon saw Yoseob smile like that... It's hard to explain but everytime Yoseob smiled Doojoon only saw an irritating bread boy with his too big smile and too happy face but this was different, Yoseob looked so calm and peaceful. It was if it was a different Yoseob he was seeing right now and — wait what? Is he staring?! What the – Why the hell is he staring?!

 

 

Doojoon came back to his senses, eyes widening as he shook his head, looking away from the younger. He took a second to calm down before he faced Yoseob again. "Yah. I thought we were gonna talk about the project."

 

 

Yoseob looked back down, pouting at him. "Your'e no fun" Doojoon rolled his eyes at the other, and for a moment he was glad to be feeling that familiar, annoyed feeling.

 

 

"I'm hungry!" Yoseob suddenly said, stretching his arms wide. "Let's eat first"  

 

 

"I already ate"

 

 

Yoseob narrowed his eyes. "No you didn't it’s just past 5 pm"

 

  

Doojoon retorted, "Well I already did so no we are not going out to eat" Actually he hasn’t ate dinner yet. But as much as the next person lied – the only reason he did say otherwise was because he did not want to eat with the younger.

 

 

"But I haven't ate yet!" Yoseob whined, puffing his cheeks. Doojoon groaned inwardly, it's like dealing with a child.

 

 

"You can just eat at your place. What's your problem?"

 

 

"But–" Yoseob stopped short, looking down. He gripped at the sleeves covering his hands. "...Okay"

 

 

The soft and slightly down tone of Yoseob made Doojoon look up at him. He couldn't tell what was in Yoseob's mind – Yoseob looked so blank at the moment and for a second Doojoon was actually concerned before he brushed it off coldly – as he always did.

 

 

It's been a while since he felt concern for anyone and he isn't going to start soon.

 

 

"Yah. Project" he said bluntly, pushing off whatever left over thoughts he had. Yoseob blinked – train of thoughts breaking – feeling confused before he finally remembered why they were there. He smiled and it was all back to normal.

 

 

"Since we're having a hard time finding a topic" Yoseob started. "We could always find some of our life experiences to find inspirations."

 

 

Doojoon raised his brow. "You want to make an autobiography or something?"

 

 

"No! You're missing the point" Yoseob hit Doojoon lightly in the arm – Doojoon cringed because contact. "What I'm trying to say is that... Don't you have anything that you want to share? Any experience or memory or anything that you'd never forget. Like something about school or at home or..."

 

 

Doojoon's face hardened, suddenly tensing up as memories flooded back into his mind.  

 

 

"You piece of ."

 

 

"I don't even get why you're here"

 

 

Doojoon stood in the middle of a bunch of boys, his hair was messy and his clothes were crumples and he had bruises from the boys kicking and punching him. His bag lay on the floor with its things scattered on the floor, dirty and muddy. But he didn't cry, he didn't do anything at all, he just stared on the floor blankly as the taunts of the boys went past him like it was nothing. He was used to it anyway. The only reason that he was in this prestigious school anyway was because his parents were influential and rich people. He expected it anyway – he expected to be bullied anyway – because if he was someone who was incredibly smart and talented and worked very very hard to get into this school, then how would he feel if he saw this guy who just got in just because of his parents and who had no effort at all?

 

 

He would probably be pissed off too.

 

 

The school bell rang and the boys groaned at the sound. "Tch. You're lucky this time, you loser"

 

 

"We'll be back."

 

 

Once they were all gone and Doojoon could no longer hear their voices he blinked, looking at his things.  

 

 

He wiped the blood of his cracked lips and crouched to pick up his things, not one tear falling from his face.  

 

 

"What are you talking about?!"

 

 

His mother stared at him coldly. They were in her office and Doojoon just came home from school. He had a band aid on his cheek but he told his mom that he got a bruise when he fell during gym class. His mother closed her laptop, looking at him eye to eye, which was considered very rare.

 

 

"What do you mean you don't want to study there anymore?! Explain that to me Yoon Doojoon."

 

 

Doojoon was silent for a while – face showing no expression – before he took a breath and started talking. "I don't like the people there. They're mean and boring." He tried to make it as general as possible. His mother narrowed her eyes as him, stare sharp and her tone sharper. "That school you're attending is one of the most prestigious high schools ever. Do you know how much other kids are willing to give up and sacrifice in order to get into you’re school? Do you know how lucky you are?–"

 

 

"I don't care" Doojoon cut in, not breaking his stare with his mother. "I don't care..." He repeated. His mother's eyes filled with rage. She stood up from her chair. "Why you–"

 

 

In the end Doojoon still had to go to that school. He spent the night lying awake in his bed, not getting a wink of sleep at all.  

 

 

"Doojoonah?"

 

 

Doojoon blinked, eyes widening. Yoseob was in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes as he waved his hand in front of his face.  

 

 

"Doojoonah...?" He repeated, eyes starting to fill with worry. "Is something wrong?"

 

 

Doojoon stood up all of a sudden, finally coming back to his senses. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong" He muttered, looking away. He thought he buried all of that already. He knew he buried all those bad memories away, locked up never to be opened again. He forgot about it – he forced himself to forget about it. But why?  

 

 

Why did it come back to him? And why now?

 

 

Yoseob looked at him. He knew that look he knew it all too much. Something was bothering the older. He reached his hand out to the other. "Doo–"

 

 

"I'm going home"

 

 

He was walking away already when he felt a hand grabbing his shoulder. "Doojoonah you're acting strange. What's wrong? You can tell me, I'll listen"

 

 

Doojoon gritted his teeth. "Shut up!" He spun around, pushing Yoseob away.  

 

 

Yoseob stumbled backwards, eyes wide. For a second hurt seemed to flash across his eyes.

 

 

"Doo...joonah...?" Doojoon looked at the ground, hands balled into fists as he tried to contain his anger. All those kind words, all those words he was hearing... he hates it.  

 

 

"Stop..." Doojoon mumbled, voice shaking slightly and he doesn't know why his voice shook... Was it from anger or frustration or irritation... He didn't know. "Stop that. You'll never know how I feel... You'll never understand... People like you..." He looked up at Yoseob who could only stare back with wide eyes.  

 

 

"People like you who have everything, the one who everyone likes, the one that everyone loves being with... The one that has a perfect life... People like you...

 

 

...I hate those people"

 

 

Doojoon turned his back towards Yoseob, walking home.  

 

 

Yoseob could only stare – stare at the spot the older stood on – as he stood there frozen in place. Every word Doojoon threw at him stung him, as if slashing bits and pieces of him slowly.

 

 

When he finally moved he looked down, smiling a bitter sweet smile.  

 

 

"...people like me huh?..." His voice trembled when he spoke.  

 

 

That night Yoseob didn't sleep – he could 't sleep. When he got home didn't get to eat dinner and instead went straight to the kitchen to prepare for tomorrow. He was so out of it that when he the stove he burned his finger, but it didn't hurt to him at all. He stared at the burn blankly before he placed it under running water, though it made no difference to him.

 

 

He just felt so numb.

 

 

He went to bed with an empty stomach and spent the rest of the night staring the ceiling with a million thoughts racing in his head.

 

 

“...I hate those people"

 

 

Yoseob bit his lip. It was his fault that Doojoon got so worked up earlier, and he felt terribly guilty about it.  

 

 

That night Doojoon couldn't sleep either. He came home in a rather bad mood, making his sister question him over dinner while he lied, saying he was just tired from school and he just wanted to sleep. But his sister knew him too well but this time she let it go – he was glad she did because even he himself couldn’t explain why he got so worked up. His sister gave him a comforting pat and told him to go sleep already, to which Doojoon agreed to nonchalantly.

 

 

But he tossed and turned in the sheets but he couldn't get himself to fall asleep. Because every time he was about to sleep the event that happened earlier would always resurface to his mind.  Every time he remembered Yoseob’s face when he pushed him… his face when he said all those words – the hurt flashing across the younger’s eyes…

 

 

He would get this weird feeling.

 

 

Wait... Is this guilt?!

 

 

Yoseob groaned, burying his face in the pillow. What should I do to make it up to Doojoon?

 

 

Doojoon groaned, throwing a pillow to the wall in frustration. What do I do...? Dammit that Bread boy!!

 

 

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