At Midnight

 

 

It's dark.

 

Yoseob sniffled as be hugged his knees, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

 

It's so dark.
 

 

Suddenly a loud bang was heard and Yoseob's eyes widened, covering his mouth to muffle the gasp that escaped his mouth.

 

Help me.

 

Another loud bang was heard and Yoseob winced, burying his head in his arms.

 

It's so dark.

 

He heard voices – rushed voices. He didn't recognize any of them. He heard another voice, but this time he recognized it.

 

Someone please... help me.

 

Suddenly a scream was heard, but it was quickly cut off when another loud bang was heard.

 

The sound of a gunshot.
 

 

Yoseob gasped, eyes widening as he bolted upright to a sitting position.
 

 

He looked around frantically, breaths dangerously unsteady.

 

It was dark. But he could just make out the shape of other beds and other people – who we're all asleep. Yoseob closed his eyes. "Just... a dream" he tried to calm himself down but he couldn't. He was shaking, trembling and his breathing deformed into short, sharp breaths.

 

"Why?" he whispered weakly to himself, hand coming up to clutch his mouth as a dry sob threatened to escape his mouth. He couldn't wake the others – he shouldn't. He's been too much of a burden for the others already. He stayed perfectly still for the next few minutes, waiting until he could regain his composure again. He panted softly, letting both his arms fall limp on his sides. The room was dark and it was suffocating him. It was too much. Everything was too much right now and he needed to be alone right now.

 

Disoriented and frightened, he scrambled out of bed. He stepped out the room as quietly as he could, wanting to escape life even just for a little while.
 

 

Only when he heard the click of the door closing did Doojoon open his eyes. He sat up, staring at the empty bed beside him.

 

---
 

 

It took a while for him to find Yoseob. He walked around almost every part of the place where they stayed. He searched the pension, and when there was no sign of Yoseob he made his way to the beach. He walked at a steady pace, keeping his calm yet the only thing entering his mind was the need to find Yoseob. Around half an hour passed of walking along the shore until he finally saw the younger. He stopped, not taking a step closer to the other in fear that me might get noticed. Yoseob had his head buried in his knees, arms clinging on to the thin cloth that surrounded itself. He sat perfectly still and Doojoon swore that the younger could have passed off as a statue.

 

The wind blew and Doojoon hugged himself. The night was cold, and he felt relieved that he brought a jacket before he went out. He couldn't say the same for the other though. He eyed the shirt Yoseob wore. It was long sleeved – as usual – yet it looked thin and he was sure that that piece of cloth wasn't enough to protect the other from the cold wind.

 

"It's a little bit late to be staying here, don't you think?"

 

Yoseob gasped. He recognized the voice immediately. He looked up and saw Doojoon standing a few steps away from him. Yoseob bit his lip, looking away as quick as he saw the other.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly, almost inaudible. Doojoon shrugged, taking a few steps towards Yoseob until he stood beside him.

 

"You're not the only one who can't sleep you know"

 

Something in what Doojoon said caused unease and discomfort creep up his spine. Yoseob lips trembled slightly. "How long have you been up...?"

 

Doojoon glanced at Yoseob. Somewhere in the back of his head his mind told him that they would be better  off if Doojoon pretended not to be awake when Yoseob had his... dream.

 

"Not long... I woke up and saw you weren't in bed. I wondered where you went and here you are" Doojoon gestured to the ground beside Yoseob, "May I?"

 

Yoseob nodded absent-mindedly. Doojoon sat beside Yoseob, and suddenly he was hit with dejavu – it was if he was back to a few hours ago when he sat next to Yoseob just before the fireworks started. But this time it was different – the scene may be the same but the atmosphere and the aura around was much, much different. If before it was carefree and lighthearted right now it was the exact opposite. The two sat together side by side, tension and awkwardness rising between them. It was dreadfully quiet yet the two of them couldn't find anything to try and break the tension between then – either they could not or they would not.
 

 

The silence around them continued and the more it lingered the more unbearable it became until finally Yoseob spoke up, but just as before his voice was faint and trembled slightly.
 

 

"Why can't you sleep?"

 

Doojoon glanced at Yoseob, but when he saw that the younger had his eyes lowered he looked away as well. "... I dunno..." He started, "... I guess something has been bothering me but I don't know what"
 

 

He looked back at Yoseob. "You?"

 

Yoseob's expression turned blank. He let out a sigh, breath shaky as he gripped on his sleeves tighter. "Something's..." He paused to take a deep breath, trying to calm his shaky voice. "... Something's been bothering me as well"

 

"Well I guess we're both at the same page for once"

 

Yoseob smiled half heartedly at Doojoon's reply. The wind blew again and Yoseob shivered, hugging his knees more in attempt to shield himself from the cold. It was a small movement, hardly noticeable, but Doojoon noticed it. "Feeling cold?" He asked Yoseob.

 

Yoseob shook his head faintly. "I'm fine"

 

Doojoon rolled his eyes. He removed his jacket and gingerly placed it around Yoseob's shoulders. Yoseob's eyes widened the moment he felt the warm fabric cover his arms, raising his hand to remove it. "I said–"

 

"As if I'm gonna believe that you're fine" Doojoon retorted before Yoseob got the chance to say anything else.

 

Yoseob bit his lip. Now that Doojoon wasn't wearing any jacket he was left with a thin T-shirt. If anyone needed additional clothing it was Doojoon and not him. "But now you'll feel cold"
 

 

"Nah" Doojoon waved his hand dismissively. "I'm good."

 

The simple action caused guilt to rush over Yoseob. He felt terrible, he felt so bad for having Doojoon do all these things – carry him on his back, change his bandage, give him his jacket (twice now). But now that he thought about it, it made him confused as well because –

 

"Why?" Yoseob whispered, more to himself than to Doojoon. Doojoon's ears perked up, listening to Yoseob's every word.

 

"Why are you doing this?"

 

Doojoon blinked, looking at the sea in front of them. "That... Could mean a lot of things you know" He glanced at Yoseob and saw a clear look of disappointment on his face when he didn't get the answer he was expecting.

 

"But" he suddenly continued, looking back in front of him. "Why do I do things for you? .... I don't know either. I just do"

 

It was then when Yoseob realized that this was the first time he was talking to Doojoon this way. There wasn't any snide remarks or arguments or aggressive conversations... It was just them. The two of them. Except for the event in the clinic a long time ago, this was the first time Yoseob recalled Doojoon to be this calm and honest to himself. And in his opinion he preferred this Doojoon over the cynical, grumpy one. The aura that surrounded Doojoon seemed so much brighter, much more trustworthy. It made him feel safe to have someone like Doojoon to rely on.

 

"I'm sorry" Yoseob suddenly said, causing Doojoon to look at him in confusion. Yoseob kept his gaze locked down.

 

"I'm sorry about earlier... Those things I said, they're not true at all." Doojoon kept his expression unreadable as Yoseob continued "I mean... Sure you almost never smile and you always complain but..." Yoseob paused, feeling the warmth of Doojoon's jacket.
 

 

"But you're kind too... And you're caring. One of the most caring person I've met. You just don't show it too often"

 

Doojoon's eyes widened for a split second. His eyes were glued to Yoseob, but the latter was looking anywhere else but at him. Doojoon opened his mouth, but he closed it again soon after becuase he did not know what to say – he did not have anything to say. So he just stayed quiet, looking down at his own hands.

 

The silence grew after that. And when moments passed with either of them not talking Doojoon figured it was time that they both head back to the pension. Doojoon cleared his throat, about to propose that they go back when Yoseob cut in.

 

"It wasn't the fireworks that scared me"
 

 

Doojoon's mouth opened slightly, looking at Yoseob with curious and confused eyes. "What did then?"

 

Yoseob drew in a sharp breath, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Their shoulder's brushed together. "I... I can't stand loud noises. I dunno... I just... can't" he explained, voice weak. He tried to keep it as vague as possible and just hoped that Doojoon wouldn't press further and ask questions.

 

"It's probably just a trauma from some bad memory from a long time ago... I don't even remember it" Yoseob tried to keep his voice steady – and he hoped with all his might that he sounded calm, sounded carefree, sounded as if it wasn't a big deal. He hoped so much that he sounded like how he usually does because right now his mind was scattered and his heart was frantic and any second he thought it would burst out of nervousness, out of anxiousness, out of fear. He didn't want anyone – he did not want Doojoon to know how scared he was right now. He has to hide it.

 

"It's weird... I don't even remember why but any loud sound would just put me off and I get anxious all of a sudden... as if I'm being dragged down to the bottom of the ocean, drowning, with no chance of seeing the surface again. It's terrifying." Yoseob stretched his hand out to the dark sea in front of them, staring at them with his own eyes filled with loneliness. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

 

Yoseob buried his head in his knees, not wanting to talk any further. He wondered what would happen now that Doojoon knew. Would he stay away from him like everyone else did when they found out? Would he start avoiding him now that he knew how weak he was, how unstable he was? Yoseob trembled at the thought of Doojoon avoiding him.

 

"You know," Doojoon stared at Yoseob. He knew that now was definitely not the best time to crack jokes or to make side comments and sarcastic remarks but something just flashed in his mind and before he knew it he was already talking, fully aware of what he was saying at the same time he was not.

 

"For someone as... well as 'happy' as you, it would be hard to believe that you have an anxiety disorder... You sure you're not crazy instead?"

 

Yoseob finally looked at Doojoon. His eyes widened for a second but then the next moment he smiled – the first real smile that night. He smiled and he chuckled lightly, shaking his head in response to what Doojoon said. That single comment from Doojoon made all his worries fly away in an instant. He was expecting some sympathetic remark like 'it's okay' or 'i'm sure everything's gonna be fine' or whatever it was that people usually say when they find themselves in these kinds of situations but instead he got... For lack of a better term–
 

 

He has Doojoon.
 

 

Yoseob smiled to himself. "Unbelievable" he exclaimed lightly. Doojoon watched him smile and unconsciously he could feel the corners of his own lips go up as well. "What is?"

 

Yoseob shook is head in amusement. "I wanted to learn more about you but instead here we are talking about me." He said, remembering his supposed to be mission of finding Doojoon's ideal type.
 

 

Doojoon was silent for a while, contemplating on what Yoseob said.

 

"Tell you what," Doojoon started, making Yoseob look at him. "As an apology as well for earlier, and also to be even with you, go ahead and ask me anything. I'll try my best to answer it all"

 

Yoseob raised an eyebrow, smiling challengingly at Doojoon. "Any question?"

 

Doojoon smirked back. "Yes any. But I'll only answer if I can and if I want to. Deal?"

 

Instead of confirming the deal Yoseob laughed, bumping shoulders playfully with Doojoon before answering back with his first question.

 

"Favorite color?"

 

"Wow. That's a tough one" Doojoon said, smile playing on his lips. "Blue"

 

"Food?"
 

 

"Beef"

 

"Song"

 

"I don't listen to music"

 

"What? Your life must be boring"

 

"Would it make you sad if it was?"

 

"I'm asking the questions, not you"

 

"Fine fine. Continue please"

 

"Okay. Um... Any hobbies?"
 

 

"Soccer."

 

And just like that, their late night talk continued well until past midnight, sitting together in the shores of the beach as nothing else was heard except the calm waves of the sea and their two voices across the sky, and sometimes a few laughs were mixed in too.

 

It wasn't until it was around 1 am that Yoseob ran out of questions and Doojoon had no more answers to provide – or rather Yoseob was already too sleepy to supply more questions to the other, seeing that his eyes were already struggling to stay open and his head slowly dipped lower and lower.

 

"Anything else, Yang Yoseob?" Doojoon asked, nudging the other softly.

 

Yoseob yawned, not aware that his head slowly dipped towards Doojoon's shoulder. "Maybe next time... It's getting late you know"

 

Doojoon smiled, tilting his head as Yoseob's head finally fell on his shoulder with a soft thud. He didn't mind it, in fact he felt cozy with the feeling of Yoseob's head against his neck. "It's been 'getting late' hours ago. We are not past that point and it is now slowly 'getting early'"

 

Yoseob hummed in reply. "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

 

"I didn't mean for it to be a joke... But it could be" Doojoon noticed how Yoseob's head slowly got heavier, to which he responded by shaking his shoulder lightly. "Yah, yah! Wake up! Don't fall asleep! Not now, Let's get back to the pension first"

 

Doojoon stood up, pulling Yoseob up with him. Yoseob rubbed his eyes, trying to keep awake. "Do you think we'll get in trouble if we get caught?"

 

"Only if we get caught Yoseob. Come one, let's go. Quickly." Doojoon held onto Yoseob's arm and together they walked back to the pension.

 

A long moment passed. "I.." Yoseob suddenly started, wondering out loud. Doojoon glanced at him. "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before"

 

Doojoon shrugged, thinking back and yes, he did not recall ever having found a reason to laugh. He looked back at Yoseob. "What about that?"

 

"I think I would like to make you laugh someday, Yoon Doojoon" Yoseob declared.

 

Doojoon raised his brow, "You're welcome to try then... But it won't be easy"

 

Yoseob laughed, stumbling a bit on the sand. He was getting too sleepy to stand straight on his own and it was a good thing Doojoon was here helping him keep steady.

 

"I think I can manage." Yoseob said and together they walked back to the pension.

---

Yoseob stared at Doojoon's sleeping figure in the bed beside him, watching as his chest rose and fell steadily. He smiled to himself, hugging his knees tighter.

"It's probably just a trauma from some bad memory from a long time ago... I don't even remember it"

Yoseob buried his head in his knees.

Sorry Doojoonah. Sorry for lying. I'm sorry for lying all the time.




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A/N: *laughs at myself as I hide in shame over not updating in so long*

mian guys ;-; college has been keeping me busy T_T and the fact that I live one hour away from the uni is no help at all *sighs*

anyway's about the news that beast is coming here in the PH in 3 months *SCREAMS* YAS 

comments are my fuel guys o v o)b thank you for bearing with my slow updates T_T