~~~ M ~~~

I knew all of the others would be devastated. I knew Jackson would be furious. Especially since he wasn’t even in the country right now. I had to choose the moment he and BamBam weren’t in the country to make my move. I’d left a letter in English so the others would have trouble reading it once they woke up. My bag was packed, swung over my shoulder and my ticket was booked. I couldn’t keep lying to myself, forcing myself to pretend nothing was wrong. I’d resigned formally with the company a few weeks ago and begged them not to tell anyone, not even JB. I’d called mum and dad yesterday, telling them I was coming back, returning to LA.

In what felt like moments, I was already sitting in my seat on the plane, listening to the safety announcements and trying not to cry. Even though it was my choice, and I was doing it for me, GOT7 had been my family for the past year. Soon, it’d have been a year since we debuted, and we could have been celebrating. But instead, I was leaving them. I was betraying them.

“Mianhe… (I’m sorry)” The plane’s wheels left the ground and I hid my face. “Mianhe.”

~~~ J ~~~

Coming back from Hong Kong after a holiday was a bit bittersweet, after all, it meant leaving my family, but returning to my friends. The guys were supposed to be waiting at the airport for me, but JB had messaged me yesterday saying the band was on lockdown. I couldn’t figure out why but I just knew it wouldn’t be good.

The manager was waiting for me and BamBam as we sauntered off the plane, acting as high and mighty as we could. The car ride was awkward, filled with BamBam demanding answers and the manager refusing to answer. We finally arrived at the dorm and were greeted by a frantic Jr.

“Have you heard anything from Mark?” His voice was concerned, and my heart dropped.

“Mark?” BamBam queried, “No, we haven’t. Why?”

“Get inside first, Jr. Let them unpack.” The manager’s voice was steady, and Jr glared at him, angry for some reason. “There is no need to worry them. Inside. Now.”

Once we got inside, the entire band was gathered in the living room, so BamBam and I rushed to put our stuff in our rooms. BamBam immediately headed back to the others, but I saw something, paper poking out from under my pillow.

Jacks,
I know you’ll probably never forgive me for leaving you, for leaving GOT7.

I stopped reading. He’s… gone? I the paper into my pocket and slammed the door open.

“HE’S GONE?!” I yelled the moment I got into the room. “He left and you didn’t even CONSIDER calling us?” JB didn’t lift his head, focussing only on his hands as he sat on the couch, Jr sitting next to him, arm around his shoulders. Youngjae and Yugyeom were huddled together on the floor and BamBam was like me, standing in front of the leader, fists balled and anger in his eyes. “He’s… he’s my best friend…” My anger at JB faded and I just gazed blankly at them all, “and he’s… gone.”

“Hyung, why didn’t you call us?” BamBam murmured, and I put my arms around him. I always felt like I had to shelter BamBam from whatever could hurt him. “He’ll… be back right?”

“I wish I could say yes.” I murmured in English and BamBam hid his face in my chest like he always did when something upset him. I looked up at the others and started speaking in Korean. “He left me a note. In English.” I scanned it quickly, trying to figure out if he’d get annoyed if I read it to them. “I… think it’d be okay to tell you what it says.”

Jacks,
I know you’ll probably never forgive me for leaving you, for leaving GOT7. I wish I could tell you that there was some massive thing going on back home that I had to deal with, that I’ll be back soon, but I don’t think I could lie to you about it. I’m not coming back. I can’t tell you why, I don’t know how.
I don’t know what else to say. I’ll miss you.
Your dimsum.

~~~M~~~

“Mark, get up!” My mum’s voice roused me from my sleep and I sighed. No matter how much I missed America, Korea had been my home for the last few years. I missed it. I missed them.

I stumbled out to the kitchen where Mum and Dad were sitting. I felt bad for Dad, he and I had both withdrawn from social media since I’d quit. Neither of us had confirmed my leaving. From what I understood, none of the band members or the company had confirmed either. Right before Dad stopped using social media, Jackson had sent him a tweet with one word, ‘Why?’

“I was thinking…” Dad began, but paused at looked at Mum. “Maybe it’s time…” He sighed. “It’s been a month; you’re making people confused and you need closure. The boys need closure.”

I slid into the chair opposite him and stared at my hands. “I know...” I took a deep breath and stood up. “I’ll do it. Does the computer have the same password?” at his affirmation, I went to the computer and signed on.

I had been inundated with Tweets from fans, and from the band. I flicked through them, making sure they were all about similar things. Finally I got to one from JB, who usually didn’t touch twitter.

“Where the hell are you?” It said and I sighed, it was dated the morning I left. I hit reply and said ‘Mianhe’.

I then started a new post, explaining to the world that I was no longer a member of GOT7 and that I needed to have a break and be with my family and begged for the fans to leave my family and my friends alone. I posted that, and went to Instagram, which was designed with the band in mind. I grabbed a photo from the day I got back, of mum clinging to me at the airport.

‘Hey guys! Just letting you guys I’m safe at home! Sorry for leaving so suddenly, didn’t know what to say. You’ll always been my Korean family, no matter where I am, or what I’m doing. GOT6 – fighting!’

I closed the two sites and sighed. Done. It was official. Known to the world. GOT7 is now GOT6...

“Go ahead Dad. Your turn!” I tried to sound bright and happy, but guilt was all I felt.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. A text. From JB. Ohhhh . That was unreasonably quick.

“We’re coming.”

Damn.

“Hey Mum, Dad…”

~~~J~~~

“We’re what?!” Jr yelled at JB as BamBam and Yugyeom jumped around the room, shouting about going to America. “JB, Mark LEFT us. It’s not like we’re surprising him on holiday! He’s GONE!” Jr was shaking as he spoke, and I could tell he was on the verge of tears. “We need to accept that. Don’t you agree, Jackson?” He looked at me pleadingly, as did JB. Youngjae and I were sitting on the couch, and I was patting his blonde hair as he sniffled.

“I…” I paused. Did I want to chase him? To put all of us through the pain? But did I want to know why? Did I want to try to convince him to come back? “I need to get answers…” I finally answered. JB cheered and Jr hung his head.

“This will only hurt us all…” he murmured and all I could do is hope he was wrong.

It took us two days to pack, convince management and wait for the next flight. JB said that Mark knew we were coming, but Jr just huffed and looked away. The Twitter post and photo on Instagram only served to upset us all more, in different ways. BamBam had gotten upset because he just wanted a cuddle from Mark, like his had Mum gotten. Youngjae said GOT6 sounded stupid. Yugyeom didn’t like how he felt he had to plea for privacy. Jr said it was proof that we shouldn’t go, as he was happy. JB hated that all he had gotten was a rather weak apology. Me… I just missed him. The longer we were apart, the more I needed to see him.

The plane had just landed in America, in California’s stifling heat, when Jr finally cracked.

“This is RIDICULOUS! We’ve flown to America to pursue someone who obviously doesn’t want to be in the band anymore so that we can try to convince him that he was wrong. He would have left if he didn’t think it was right.” He took a deep breath, and was about to start again when BamBam leapt to his feet.

“IF YOU DON’T WANT MARK BACK THEN JUST GO!” He yelled and stormed off, followed closely by JB, who was stammering something about sticking together in foreign countries.

Jr was left open mouthed and near tears as he murmured something about wanting to keep everyone from pain. I grabbed his wrist and motioned for the remaining two to follow as well as I dragged Jr to the taxi booth.

“We have to try,” was all I said.

~~~M~~~

JB had text me earlier saying they had landed in California and I hadn’t sat still since. Dad had been cleaning the house nervously, and Mum had been cooking. They’d met the guys before, but they’d never had to handle them when they were cranky or upset. And I knew they would be both. I had been pacing up and down, helping my parents, flicking through Twitter and Instagram, but nothing was calming me down.

“I’m going for a run!” I called out, and I set off.