Siwon's P.O.V.

Even weeks after the business party of his dad and the first meeting with Kibum, Siwon couldn't seem to forget the raven-haired boy with hazel eyes.

When Kibum had left the room with such an hateful expression, the brunet couldn't help but wonder what he had possibly been doing wrong. Before their fathers showed up, they had spent a happy and relaxed time together, because they shared the same fate. They were both born into families that couldn't understand the true values and talents of their sons. Instead they were forced to pretend to be perfect. And it really felt easy to talk to the shorter male.

All the sorrow Siwon was struggling with had been erased from his mind for a few hours.

The most refreshing ones the young man could recall from the last months to be exact.

And then suddenly the next second, the bond he had built up with Kibum got destroyed with a single introduction of his full name. A name he didn't choose, but it was once again the reason for people to turn away from him.

Siwon was wondering what would have happened, if he would have just said his good-byes to Kibum and remained in his room, watching some TV maybe or reading a book.

Maybe he wouldn't have had to see the shock, disappointment and hate in the others eyes afterwards.

Maybe they would have met again and just talked to each other normally.

Maybe all of this was just a bad joke and someone would come out of nowhere and tell him they were playing a prank on him.

But with every maybe the brunet came up with, he only got reminded that those maybes were merely a wishful imagination, a daydream of a broken heart ... maybe. Because in reality the facts let his heart sink. There hasn't been a second meeting, no feeling of being near and no carefree hours. And so Siwon's memory remained with the loss he had to suffer once again. Or at least he was feeling like he was suffering.

Maybe god was was testing him to see how strong he really was and for once all the pressure seemed to overwhelm his usual calm and friendly personality.

With that the days passed away really quick. By the end of the week, his younger sister would come back from America and he was somewhat happy for Jiwon to return.

That's why he had agreed to his mothers request to pick her up from the airport once the girl had landed. But for now his thoughts were focused on the past instead of the future or even the present. In fact he was barely able to focus on anything at all and always drifted off with his thoughts being far away. At first the teachers had thought he missed some sleep, because the brunet was pretty busy, but as his distracted state continued to last and he was unable to hide it, they got worried and called his father. Siwon wasn't too happy about it, because when he came home the elder was scolding him a lot and they both ended up in another fight again.

And even his friends had noticed his weird behavior. The brunet was just happy that they didn't say much and let him be instead or reminded him to pay attention when they were in class. Still they never asked for a reason so far and Siwon really was thankful for that, because he didn't know what was going on either.

It always was hard to stay focused, even though the teachers asked him to. The brunet tried his best to follow the lessons and get back to normal again, he even worked out more to fall asleep early and still... his affords didn't seem to be enough. The image of the guy named Kim Kibum always popped up in front of his inner eyes, when he didn't need it.

Mostly when the teachers asked him to name the answer of a problem or question, he needed to excuse himself, saying he didn't know. It surely was a lie. As one of the good students, Siwon never had any difficulties with the tasks the teachers gave him, it was just that lately the brunet only pretended to pay attention.

And his nerves also gave up on him. At times he had used to be composed, he lost it or had a hard time controlling his actions.

To make it short: Siwon was in a worse state of mind than he would have thought he would ever get.

It seemed as if he was captured and didn't know how to escape his memories. For the first time the be understood how Donghae must have felt all the years, being haunted by his past and the search for memories that would give him reassurance.

Sighing heavily, the brunet stared out of the window. He was sitting in literature class right now and was pretty bored, even though he didn't even know what topic the teacher was talking about. Skretching some incoherent words and things on his paper, he didn't know how to feel. Looking from outside the boy must have looked like a teenager that was super bored or in love.

Staring at the more or less heart-shaped drawing in front of him, Siwon wrinkled his forehead as images of Kibum came into his mind when he thought about the word love. Shaking his head, the brunet clenched his eyes together for a few times to get rid of these images.

He loved Donghae. His cute and adorable Donghae that no longer was his.

Siwon still remembered how upset he had been, when the news that the shorter male was in the hospital had reached him. He was raging with anger and Eunhyuk had felt it. But now that Donghae was doing fine again, his worries became small. Thinking back, the brunet wasn't even sure if he would have freaked out the way he did back then, now.

Thinking that it maybe was better to let go made him stop in his movements and thoughts. Something really was wrong and he needed to pull himself together.

There was only one love for him and he would hold on to it.

Making Donghae happy was his top priority and he wouldn't give up on the other, even though it meant he couldn't be more than a good friend.

When Siwon got out of class he walked to the cafeteria to get some lunch and stopped when he saw a guy passing by who just looked like Kibum.

Wait, what?

Turning back on his heals, Siwon tried to catch up to the other, but the stranger was already gone. Disappeared in one of the classrooms maybe. Gliding a hand over his face to gain some sanity again and remove a part of his tension, the brunet continued his way to get some food and hoped that the end of the week would arrive quickly.

Remembering the fact, that he still needed to get a suit for the wedding and a dress for his sister, Siwon made a note to himself to go shopping after class. Since he didn't have anyone else to accompany him to the party, the brunet just hoped Jiwon would be kind enough to go with him, so he wouldn't feel too awkward.

* * *

Soon enough the week was over and Siwon was on his way to pick up Jiwon from the airport. He wondered how his little sister looked like after her stay in America. Was she still the same friendly and polite girl she used to be?

Her seriously didn't know. They used to be really close as children but as they grew older a certain distance started to built up between them and nowadays their lives didn't really touch each other anymore. It was actually a pity, but Siwon couldn't do anything about it. He had to learn that things never remained the way they used to be, the hard way, but he was still happy that Jiwon was back again. When the brunet arrived at the airport it took him some minutes to find his sister in all the chaos around him. She was standing in a more quiet corner, looking around. Smiling to himself he walked up to her, glad to see she hadn't changed too much. At least not from the outside.

“Welcome to Korea, Ji” he said, still smiling.

She didn't really greet back, but looked down to the ground. He frowned a little in the view of her actions but didn't say a thing. Maybe she was tired from the long flight.

Siwon took her luggage and walked Jiwon to the car. While they were driving in peace he thought it would be a good opportunity to ask his sister about the wedding, in hope she would say yes.

“Would it be okay if I asked you to come to a wedding party with me?” the brunet asked with a gentle smile.

Jiwon looked at him with a surprised expression but had herself under control again within seconds.

“Wedding party?”

“Yeah my friend is getting amrried tomorrow and I want you to meet all my friends. After all, they're going to be your schoolmates when the school year starts” the older answered adding “and because I didn't want to be alone there”, in his head.

The girl looked as if she thought about it for a while, but flashed him a small smile.

“Oh. Okay, I guess” was all Jiwon said, before she turned back to look out of the window.

Not sure how to deal with his sisters cold attitude, Siwon focused on the road again, but was happy the other had accepted his request nevertheless. Before they arrived at home, the brunet stopped in front of the clothes store to get their outfits for the next day. Luckily the changes he had ordered had already been taken care of, so he didn't have to come back in the evening.

Now it was time to let the girl next to him being welcomed back into the family. Their mother had been hyper about her daughter coming back all week, while their father kept his passive attitude as always. Things were going back to normal the brunet assumed.

* * * *

Sitting in the church and watching as the ceremony of Rinha and Jeajoong getting married was taking place, Siwon couldn't help but smile at the young couple. They seemed to be head over heals and so happy, that he himself couldn't help but to be happy too. It was always a beautiful thing to see two people being united through their love for each other.

When they exchanged rings, the brunet couldn't stop his gaze from getting captured by Donghae, who was looking at Eunhyuk with such loving eyes that he couldn't help to feel a pang in his heart. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as it used to.