“How is the dress? Get out of that cabin so I can see you.”

Jiyeon sighed and had to refrain from smashing her head against the cabin’s wooden wall. She was hungry, tired, sweaty, and most importantly, she had no interest in this dress-fitting afternoon her mom had insisted on organizing. If it were only for Jiyeon, she would have picked a random wedding dress on the Internet two days before the due date. Her mother seemed determined to make a fuss about the most insignificant details such as the color of the bridesmaids’ floral bracelets, or the flavour of the cake’s génoise. It was driving Jiyeon crazy… Seriously, who cared about this anyway?

“Mom, can we hurry this up please? I’m supposed to be meeting Hyomin-unnie in two hours for coffee and I need to go back home for a shower,” she whined.

“Excuse me, young lady, but you are the one who is delaying this session. None of the dresses you’ve tried on seem to have gained your approval so we’re not leaving until you’ve found one. Now, out. I want to see this one on you.”

Actually, she wasn’t the only one who wanted to go home. The saleswoman who had spent the last three hours handing over countless dresses for the famous singer to try on would be more than happy when she would finally come to a decision. Nevertheless, she stood next to Jiyeon’s mom without a word, obediently waiting for what would likely be another rejection.

Exasperated, Jiyeon violently snatched the curtain from the cabin open and made a pose for her mother, whirling around exaggeratedly like a manic-depressive model.

“Stop spinning like an idiot and let me look at you,” her mother chastised.

When Jiyeon finally stood still, she saw her mom’s face lit up like a child’s in a candy store.

“That’s it! This one is perfect on you!”

“Thank goodness,” both Jiyeon and the saleswoman muttered to themselves, relieved to finally see the end of this torture.

“We just need to make some retouches, but I believe we’ve found the one.”

“Yes, very good choice indeed, Miss Park, you look absolutely gorgeous in this tone.” The saleswoman ventured cautiously.

“Yeah, whatever. We spent more time choosing this dress than I’ll be wearing it in total in my whole life.”

“Jiyeon, I don’t understand you! You’re getting married, you should be the happiest girl in the world! But here you are, sulking and getting impatient and angry… Are you sure this is really what you want?”

At this, Jiyeon had to fight really had to keep her emotions at bay and not to break down right in the middle of the shop. Instead, she clenched her fist really tight and said:

“I… I’m taking this off and heading home now, eomma. I’ll see you tonight.”

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“Wow, and I thought I was the one who was going to be late… actually I was late, but you just set a new record!” Hyomin said playfully as the maknae took a seat in front of her in the café.

“Don’t start unnie, please… I had the worst day ever, you can’t even imagine.”

“I think I can. You trying on dresses for hours in a small cabin with your mom playing “Let me In”, wedding version… yeah, I can imagine the struggle. So have you decided on one, at least?” Hyomin asked, sipping her iced coffee.

“Well, she has, anyway… I couldn’t even tell you what it looks like. But yeah, this part is over.”

“Jiyeonnie, don’t take this the wrong way but you sound as excited about your wedding as a criminal taking his last steps along the death row…

“Ah… let’s not start on this path alright? I’m just tired. But I’m happy. As happy as I should be.”

Hyomin eyed her suspiciously but decided to let it go for now.

“Oh, I talked to Eunjung on the phone yesterday, by the way…”

At the mention of this name, Jiyeon felt her heart skip a beat and was like jolted awake. She tried to regain her composure, hoping her unnie hadn’t noticed.

“How… how is she doing? We haven’t spoken since I got back.” She tried to feign indifference, but Hyomin’s squinted eyes at her told her she was toast.

“Yes, I know… She’s okay, I guess.”

“You guess? Have you talked to her or what?” Jiyeon asked, uncharacteristically agitated.

“Yes, I did. She got your invitation by the way…”

At that, the maknae winced and shut her eyes for a couple of seconds.

“And… do you know if she’ll come?”

“She… you know what, why don’t you call her yourself? I’m not sure why I am required to play referee between you two, but I suggest you go ask some news by yourself.”

Jiyeon suddenly got up and grabbed her bag, then quickly kissed Hyomin’s cheek.

“Okay, Hyomin-ah, thanks very much for your support, really… Anyway, I need to get going. Dinner tonight at my parents’. With Myungsoo’s parents. And Myungsoo, obviously.”

“Wow, so much fun. Try to smile a little more by the time they get there, or they’ll never agree to give their son away to you!” The other girl yelled playfully after her. “And call Eunjung!”

“Bye unnie!” Jiyeon waved behind her back without looking and headed for the door. She didn’t have time to think about Eunjung right now. Even if her heart was still beating like crazy at the thought of her. Even if she wanted nothing more than to go back in time, and change everything. She had a dinner to attend to, and a poker face to put on, and thinking about Eunjung was not a good idea at all at the moment.

--------------------------------

“Oppa, get out, I need to get dressed!” Jiyeon tried in vain to push her brother off her bed.

Hyojun was comfortably lying down and playing Pokemon on her nintendo DS.

“And I told you, if you overwrite my last backup, I’ll kick your stupid !”

“Ok, first, my isn’t stupid. It’s cute and wise beyond its years.” He said calmly will throwing a pillow at her with one hand.

“Second, don’t act prude around me. Remember I’m the person who’s seen you in the most humiliating situations ever. So you can definitely change here, I’m playing my game anyway.”

“No. You’re playing MY game!” she said angrily, and went into her bathroom with her clothes stacked in her arms.

She heard him laugh through the door like a hyena and rolled her eyes before quickly getting dressed, for the umpteenth time that day.

She got out of the bathroom in a flash and jumped on the bed on top of her brother, trying to snatch the game console from him.

Using his strength without restraint, he easily caught her wrists and in a second, she was kicked out of the bed, and fell heavily on her .

“Ouch! Pabo! I hate you!!” She yelled from the ground.

“Nah, you love me,” he laughed then helped her stand up, as the caring older brother he was.

“So, are you ready for tonight?”

“Are we making conversation after you’ve just mauled me?” She asked accusingly, rubbing her lower back while sitting on the bed next to him.

“Come on Jiyeonnie… you had fun. You’re as strong as a WWE fighter.”

“,” she laughed, while affectionately slapping his shoulder.

“But honestly though, how are you?” Hyojun asked, suddenly very serious.

Her brother had this kind of ability to go from the most annoying person in the world to her confident and best friend in the blink of an eye. He was actually the only one she had talked to about Eunjung and her feelings for her, and the only person she trusted with this secret.

“Oppa… I’m fine. I have to be…” She sighed dejectedly.

“No, you don’t ‘have’ to. Either you’re happy, or you’re not, but you can’t decide that.”

She paused for a minute, and then decided to be honest with her feelings, for the first time today.

“I miss Eunjung. Like crazy. I thought distance and a little time would soothe the pain and the want and the…” She stopped, realizing she was still talking to her brother. No need to go into more… personal details.

“Anyway, I thought I’d be able to see things clearly, and I do. Except I want her even more now than I ever did before. It’s like she’s this sort of unattainable goddess, someone so close, yet so far away at the same. Something I crave but will never have… So yeah, if I really think about it, I’d say I feel like .” She finally admitted

“Well, at least now you have an idea of how she felt about you for the past two years,” Hyojun calmly offered.

“What do you mean? It’s not the same!”

“Excuse me, it’s exactly the same. Only you’ve lived with this feeling for a few weeks while she’s had to endure it for years… But I’m not judging you, noona. I know you’re going through a terrible transition period and you’re lost. I’m just saying, maybe you should try to understand things from her point of view, too.”

“Yeah but… nothing has changed. I’m still getting married, and I still won’t have her.”

“Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Whatever you do next, you’ll just have to own it and live with it. There should be no place for guilt, whichever path you choose.”

She remained silent for a moment, and then turned to her brother with a look of utter perplexity.

“Since when have you become a relationship coach?”

“I’m into psychology these days, what can I say? And girls love it… Sorry if I gave you some lousy advice,” he added with a sad little pout.

“Ow, no, actually what you said made a lot of sense. Thanks for being here oppa…” She said and hugged him close, then ruffled his hair affectionately.

“That’s what bros are for, right?”

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Okay so... First of all, I want to say a big sorry for deserting you like that and leaving the story hanging without a word. The thing is, I kind of lost inspiration for this and I wasn't sure where to go. To be honest, the lack of Eunyeon interraction this year had put me off a little and I started wondering if it was right to right about them anymore. But I also hate it when I get into a story and updates end abruptly without a word. So I'll say this. Whatever it takes, I'll finish this story. I might not update as frequently as I did before, because I have now a lot less time to reflect and write about imaginary ships, but I will give this story the ending it deserves -not now, by the way, I still have some things I want to explore.

Anyway, I know some of you have probably given up on this story and I can't blame you, but for those who haven't, welcome back on board and please, bear with me. I'll do my best to make everyone happy! Bye for now^^