☼ The Final Enchantment

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The Final Enchantment krisyeol_always

story titlefive/five points

The title is very fitting to the story. It gives off a rather mysterious feel and hints at the reader that the story would consist of fantasy elements. I wouldn’t choose another title for your story.

description, foreword & tagsseven/ten points

Your description is really short, just a sentence, but I feel like that is enough for your story, especially with how short the latter is. It gives your readers enough information about your plot, though it doesn’t really tell what the ending of the story would be like. Your foreword is an extract from your story, which I always tend to like reading a lot, since you can get a feel of the writer’s writing style and what not. The words in the Elf (?) language is definitely intriguing, leading the readers into wanting to read more to see what those words mean. However, I don’t really think you should have your author note about the story not having a happy ending since that really spoiled the story for me. Your tags seem okay to me, though I don’t think you need to mark the story as mature.

appearance: graphicsfive/five points, layout/fivefive points

I quite like your poster - the effects are really fitting, but is there a need for two Kyungsoos? Or is there some hidden meaning behind it? The background image matches the poster, giving the story a nice visual theme.

The general display of your work is clean and simple, well done!

characterisationtwelve/fifteen points

Honestly, since your story is so short, there’s not a lot I can comment on, but I can see that both Jongdae and Kyungsoo love each other very much; Jongdae even going as far to spending what little of his remaining life casting a spell over Kyungsoo’s sword. The way Kyungsoo returns Jongdae back to where he came from shows how the former wants to believe in the legend that just maybe Jongdae will come back to life if he’s returned to his origin. The bond between the two is deep and meaningful, despite not being fully displayed in the short chapter. I think you’ve done quite well with your characters considering the length of the story.

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stellarstarlight #1 Dec 21, 2017 15:38:42

Chapter 24: I've always been curious about review shops. I could never do it myself. If you don't mind my asking, how did you come up with your rubric?

jaxial #2 Nov 21, 2017 14:34:39

Requested!

chariseuma #3 Nov 18, 2017 16:18:40

hello! i requested for a review. let me know if u receive it xo

contaminated #4 Nov 17, 2017 16:26:51

Chapter 30: Title: Actually, the title is the whole reason I started the story! XD I wanted to write something with that title and voila, TFA was born.

Description: I have moved that spoiling sentence from the foreword now. :3 as for the M rating, I have plans to possibly expand this story and there will be more gore-y explicit-y violent-y stuff (I don't know how to be articulate, don't hit me).

Appearance: yasss those graphics. I love JiaAera's work. ;u;

Characterization: Yes the story is terribly short and I may have not shown much of the characters ene but if all goes well, I may expand this tragic mess into something further. Ah yes, poor Soo. I feel bad for him ;_;

Plot: asdfghjkl yes it's almost a drabble, I can't write long oneshots to save my life (except one that is spiraling out of control help). Nope, I don't think it's unique, just something I personally wanted to write (and I wanted to up my fantasy story count). Well I'm going to try, but no promises.

Grammar, spelling & Punctuation: this is a first TwT I'm glad you didn't find mistakes! :D

Writing Style: Phew :D

Readers' Response: I have finished replying to those comments now (I am easily sidetracked) :D yes, there is a reason I have put all of my stories on subs only, that reason being plagiarizing little vermin scurrying around me all the furicking time. :)

Thank you for reviewing and I have credited! <33333

Suhyo07 #5 Nov 17, 2017 15:09:53

Chapter 28: Hello, I'm so sorry I didn't pick up earlier but I had too much going on > <
Anyways, first of all, thank you for your hard work! The title actually means 'the balance and the way', for reasons which will reveal themselves in the story later ^^ and thanks for the reminder about the translation! I'll keep it in mind~
I'm really glad about the characterisation! To be honest, I was a bit worried over him since there might be repetitive emotions (you know, the descriptions about him being depressed and emotionally relying on his deceased lover)
And about the plot - yes, I will explain more as the story progresses; I'm in the planning stages of the story as well, so the whole story isn't finished yet, but I have a vague idea about the whole plot which I'm currently working on. And yes, the plot (for now, at least) is Hyunwook being upset over his lover's death ^^
Thank you for the high marks for flow, grammar and writing style! I've had reviewers tell me my writing style being too confusing as I tend to write in really long sentences, but there seems to be not much of a problem in this story :)
About the readers' responses - unfortunately it's rather hard to gain readers especially since this is an oc story with a male oc and not much of a romance plot (at least, not really portrayed clearly). Plus, a few of my friends here have been plagiarised so I'm a bit hesitant on changing it to available to everyone
Thank you overall! I really appreciate your comments ^^ I'll credit once I get home and sorry for picking up really late again > <

sooyoung2345 #6 Nov 16, 2017 01:55:49

Hello, I've requested! :-)