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Halves of a WholeKangminBread

story titlefive/five points

The story title fits the plot like a glove, very appropriate and suitable. Though it’s not a completely unique title, it’s interesting enough to draw people into reading the story, good choice!

description, foreword & tagsseven/ten points

I’m taking a wild guess that the line at the top of your layout in the front page is your description to your story since you haven’t really explicitly made that clear. If this isn’t your description, please do make a note of it in a comment and I’ll edit this section.

The description is short, only consisting of one line, but it does a pretty good job at representing your story and what it’s about. However, I did need to read it a few times before fully understanding it, but this could be due to my personal issues and others may not have the same problem as I do. All in all, it’s an appropriate title despite the short length and simple wording.

Your tags only consist of your characters, perhaps you can consider adding in the genre/category of your story in it too?

appearance: graphicsfour/five points, layoutthree/five points

The poster is not badly made; the theme suits the story, but I feel like the title of the story could be made to stand out a little more for emphasis. However, the poster does have the relevant information in it: the title, description and characters.

I’m never really a big fan of using layouts that have backgrounds behind the main text, since they obstructs my reading and make me lose focus, and unfortunately it’s the same for your story too. I did find the layout to be a little too dark, and the stripes in the background making it hard for me to concentrate on the writing. However, the general text format is clean and you’ve used separators with nice designs between the different sections, which I quite like.

characterisationfifteen/fifteen points

Not a lot is known about your characters but from the short story, I can tell you have put in quite some thought into them. The brothers, Junki and Jaejoong, are quite pitiful in my opinion. They live so close, yet so far from each other and it really does make my heart ache a little from reading about their longing for each other. Their servant, Xinling, is also someone crucial in your story because she holds a huge secret within her, and I just can’t imagine how much pain she is in while trying to protect the males from the outside world and at the same time keeping everything within herself.

Your characters are simple, but that simplicity along with the storyline is really interesting. Though I usually have a thing for in-depth characters, but with your story, I feel the current depth and development of the characters are enough. Well done!

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