☼ Spin

heart, mind & seoul reviews ღ closed, finishing requests
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story titleone/five points

I think I can see where the idea for your story is coming from - I’m guessing it’s because Mingyu is slowly turning around in Jisoo’s visions and drawings? If that’s not the right explanation, then I’m completely at a loss. To be honest, I would encourage writers to choose titles that are easy to tell they’re relevant to their plots. For me, it’s a little off-putting to have to try and figure out what the title means especially since it doesn’t really show in the plot. Perhaps it’s just me being a little too slow and not understanding it, but the title didn’t really look like it’s linked to the story nor did it appeal to me.

description, foreword & tagsten/ten points

The description of your story does its job well - it gives your readers an overall summary of your plot while it’s not giving away too much information. It’s short and simple, but the impact is strong. For the foreword, you added an extract from your story, which I really like, since you’re giving your readers a taste of your writing style as well as what to expect in plot. Your tags seem good to me!

appearance: graphics-/five points, layoutfive/five points

The overall display of your story is clean and simple, but is just me or is your font really small?

characterisationfifteen/fifteen points

The only character that I can really comment on in your story is Jisoo, since he’s the main focus. First, let me say congratulations for creating Jisoo as a character. In my opinion, he’s well developed and has enough depth to his character. He’s persistent and stubborn about his visions, standing his ground regardless of what others say, especially when Seungcheol confronts him about his ‘boyfriend’. He keeps a calm face whatever happens and he’s very protective of himself and his visions. I don’t really know what else to say about Jisoo other than he’s a very successful character!

Other characters like Seungcheol and Jeonghan are very important to the story, in my opinion, since they’re able to pick up the tiny things about Jisoo that others don’t see, which moves the story on from one part to another. I can’t say much about Mingyu since he doesn’t really ‘appear’ in the story until the very end.

plotseventeen/twenty points

Your plot is interesting, though very confusing at

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Saki1017
hi guys, sorry for the slow progress, but work has gotten really heavy for me lately, but i'll do my best to get these reviews done! sorry for the wait and thank you for your patience!

Comments

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stellarstarlight
#1
Chapter 24: I've always been curious about review shops. I could never do it myself. If you don't mind my asking, how did you come up with your rubric?
jaxial
#2
Requested!
chariseuma
#3
hello! i requested for a review. let me know if u receive it xo
contaminated
#4
Chapter 30: Title: Actually, the title is the whole reason I started the story! XD I wanted to write something with that title and voila, TFA was born.

Description: I have moved that spoiling sentence from the foreword now. :3 as for the M rating, I have plans to possibly expand this story and there will be more gore-y explicit-y violent-y stuff (I don't know how to be articulate, don't hit me).

Appearance: yasss those graphics. I love JiaAera's work. ;u;

Characterization: Yes the story is terribly short and I may have not shown much of the characters ene but if all goes well, I may expand this tragic mess into something further. Ah yes, poor Soo. I feel bad for him ;_;

Plot: asdfghjkl yes it's almost a drabble, I can't write long oneshots to save my life (except one that is spiraling out of control help). Nope, I don't think it's unique, just something I personally wanted to write (and I wanted to up my fantasy story count). Well I'm going to try, but no promises.

Grammar, spelling & Punctuation: this is a first TwT I'm glad you didn't find mistakes! :D

Writing Style: Phew :D

Readers' Response: I have finished replying to those comments now (I am easily sidetracked) :D yes, there is a reason I have put all of my stories on subs only, that reason being plagiarizing little vermin scurrying around me all the furicking time. :)

Thank you for reviewing and I have credited! <33333
Suhyo07
#5
Chapter 28: Hello, I'm so sorry I didn't pick up earlier but I had too much going on > <
Anyways, first of all, thank you for your hard work! The title actually means 'the balance and the way', for reasons which will reveal themselves in the story later ^^ and thanks for the reminder about the translation! I'll keep it in mind~
I'm really glad about the characterisation! To be honest, I was a bit worried over him since there might be repetitive emotions (you know, the descriptions about him being depressed and emotionally relying on his deceased lover)
And about the plot - yes, I will explain more as the story progresses; I'm in the planning stages of the story as well, so the whole story isn't finished yet, but I have a vague idea about the whole plot which I'm currently working on. And yes, the plot (for now, at least) is Hyunwook being upset over his lover's death ^^
Thank you for the high marks for flow, grammar and writing style! I've had reviewers tell me my writing style being too confusing as I tend to write in really long sentences, but there seems to be not much of a problem in this story :)
About the readers' responses - unfortunately it's rather hard to gain readers especially since this is an oc story with a male oc and not much of a romance plot (at least, not really portrayed clearly). Plus, a few of my friends here have been plagiarised so I'm a bit hesitant on changing it to available to everyone
Thank you overall! I really appreciate your comments ^^ I'll credit once I get home and sorry for picking up really late again > <
sooyoung2345
#6
Hello, I've requested! :-)