“See you later, hyung.”

Jongdae smiles as he waves his brother off, slowly turning around and starts walking through the corridor, a book is secured in his arm. Shy smiles, cheery grins and cool nods are thrown at him, which he replied as proper as possible as usual. After all, life still goes on; it won’t stop just because of a rejection from a girl he had grown to like too much. He had made up his mind at the night before and he had decided that he won’t dwell in sadness anymore. If he really wants to be able to be happy again, he needs to move on. And in order to move on, he needs to accept everything. And accepting everything means he has to live normally and slowly deal with the pain.

Life is never about happy things and filled desires after all.

So he braves himself once more to face the pain. He takes the route to his class by the corridor where Hwangmi’s locker is located. Maybe if he tries facing her without immediately setting his heart into mellow state, he would be able to communicate with her the way he used to. She said it herself; they should be friends again the next time they meet.

But then he doesn’t find her there.

He glances at his wristwatch. She’s supposed to be in front of her locker by this time. Maybe the girl is late today.

Shrugging unconsciously, Jongdae keeps walking towards the stairs to the second floor. He still needs to lend his homework to lazy Baekhyun. Said guy should be in the class already to do it.

“We have to tell him.”

Jongdae halts his steps. He’s sure he heard a voice just now. He his head towards the end corner of the corridor. Someone is there, at the other side of the wall. And the voice is too familiar for his liking.

“No, we can’t. Let’s… let’s just let him be, for a while.”

Another voice. Which he recognizes soon enough because it sounds painfully familiar in his ears. What is he doing there with her?

“But I can’t hold this anymore. We’re being selfish to him, very selfish.” Jongdae keeps on listening as he silently leans against the wall. “Ever since that day you told me that, everytime I wake up I’d feel like I’ve committed a crime.”

Who? Me?

“But then… no, I, I’m not ready to tell him yet. Please, just yet.”

Tell me what??

Jongdae frowns as he realizes that the conversation is obviously regarding him. However, one topic catches his attention more than it should have.

“Isn’t it ironic? There he came, telling me that he already loves me, but all I can see is someone else and that person is none other than his – “

What?

He could feel his blood freezing.

What – who did you just say?

“… I’m sorry.”

What? For what?

“For… what?”

“It’s all… it’s all about me, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not – “

There’s a loud ringing sound in his ears, demanding him to step back and run away because he had dropped the book he has been holding which means he had given the hint of his appearance. But nothing could make his freezing legs to move. Not even when he realizes that a pair of dark orbs is staring at him, wide, confused, scared.

And not to mention that the third person he just found in front of him is painfully familiar.

“S-sunbae,”

That’s when he starts walking backwards.

“Jongdae, I – “

He turns around and runs away.

===

From : Hyung Lobeu Lobeu <3
    Cant go home w u 2day
    Got smthing 2 do
    Sry

“What the,” Jongin mumbles at the weird contact name. Jongdae must’ve changed it when he wasn’t looking at his phone. He sighs as he shoves his cellphone into the pocket of his jeans. It looks like he needs to ride the bus instead to go home. Well then, Jongin huffs as he starts to walk forward towards his locker, maybe chocolate milkshake could accompany on my way –

“Ballejong!!” a chirpy, annoying voice calls him from behind. And by the nickname that was used – ballerina Jongin – , he can directly tells who it is.

But when he’s met with the said person, he frowns. “Whoa, Baek hyung, why the rush?”

“Have you seen Jongdae?” Baekhyun chokes between his ragged breaths.

“Hyung texted me saying that he got something to do that he couldn’t go home with me today.” Jongin explains, slowly sensing something fishy. “I thought it has something to do with the rehearsals for the recital.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “He didn’t show up in the practice today, Yixing sunbae has been looking for him everywhere possible. Hell, he didn’t even show up from the first class ‘till the last one.”

“What do you mean he didn’t show up at all? We parted inside the building.”

“As what I was saying, he didn’t show up since the first period.” Baekhyun puffs his cheeks out before letting a heavy sigh. He looks nervous; Jongin couldn’t put up why. “D-did something happen?”

Jongin hesitatingly shook his head. Now he’s not that sure anymore. “I don’t think so. We were just fine this morning.”

Leaning against some random locker, Baekhyun fold his arms in front of his chest, trying to think of some possibilities to where is Kim Jongdae disappearing to. “Where did you separate your ways with him?”

Looking around, Jongin points his index finger at the intersection of the halls that each lead to male students’ and female students’ respective lockers. “There.”

“Which hall he took?”

“There.” he pointed at the hall right across them.

Baekhyun immediately looks at the direction Jongin is pointing at. “When did you part ways with him?”

“Uh, this morning, right before I walked to my class.” Jongin feels weird for repeating things but it seems like Baekhyun is slightly disoriented for now. “He seriously didn’t show up today at all?”

Nodding with a rather pale face, Baekhyun looks at Jongin again. “If you hear any news about him, or if he shows up later, please let me know, okay?”

Jongin, being the smart and witty he has always been, immediately senses a rather fishy point. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

Baekhyun has always been an equally witty person, he never let other people to cut his words and he’d always have the reply for any statement even if it’s ridiculous. So when Baekhyun took approximately six seconds to answer, Jongin is more than assured that something is wrong. “No, everything’s fine.”

Eventually they part ways as well. Jongin walks leisurely through the hall way, nodding shyly at every single person who gives him a smile or greeting. After he had stepped out of the front door, he notices that the sky is rather dull. It’s going to be raining soon. Sighing, he hurries his steps to the bus stop, praying that at least the rain would wait until he got into one.

“Oh, hi there.” Jongin greets when he recognizes a person at the bus stop. There are only the two of them there. “Have you been here for long?”

Hwangmi blinks at him, looking a little bit dazed. “N-no. I just arrived.”

“Thank God that you’re here. At least if I’d be soaked by the rain I won’t be dripping wet alone.” Jongin laughs.

“Don’t drag me into your own misery, please.” Hwangmi jokes back.

But judging by the rather off tune in her voice, Jongin knows that Hwangmi is not in her usual bubbly self. “Is something wrong? You look pale.”

Hwangmi blinks again at him before she lowers her gaze down the pavement. “No, everything’s fine.”

Jongin frowns. “Funny, someone said the exact sentence to me like thirty minutes ago.”

Hwangmi laughs awkwardly.

And just when Jongin was about to speak again, he notices the soft voice of drizzle hitting the ground. He watches dramatically as the drizzle turns into rain. “Gosh,” he murmurs, “I can’t even say how pissed I am.”

He hears a soft laugh next to him. Hwangmi is still staring down the pavement, but she has her fist in front of her lips, trying to suppress her laughter. Jongin looks at her a little bit longer than he should have; he just realized that Hwangmi is indeed cute. No wonder why Jongdae likes her very much.

“Hey,” Jongin suddenly speaks, “can I ask something that maybe could piss you off?”

Hwangmi looks perplexed, but laughs nonetheless. “Go on.”

“Why can’t it be my brother?” Jongin asks softly. “Nothing’s wrong with you, nothing’s wrong with him either. And please don’t take it in the wrong way, but my brother, he has been… you know, very diligent in making you like him the way he likes you. So why can’t it be him? You can tell me everything; I swear I won’t tell hyung.”

He half regrets his question because Hwangmi looks so burdened right now. “I…” Hwangmi leaves it hanging. She must be very confused right now.

“Jongdae hyung, he has liked you since the New Year ceremony.” Jongin starts slowly. “He had fallen pretty hard for you, but he was very shy about it and he didn’t want to be a burden for you, so even though he really wanted to reach for you, he chose not to do it. He wanted it to fall naturally into places.” he pauses to laugh. “Well, not really, since he used me to give little things to you.”

Hwangmi looks up at him with an unreadable expression. “Little things…?”

“Yep. Every week you’ll find some little gifts inside your locker, right?” Jongin waits until Hwangmi nods. “I was the one who did it for him. But please don’t think of him as a stalker, okay? He knows your favorite cookie from Chanyeol’s mom. He’s very innocent, I assure you. And uh, please don’t get mad at Soojung? She helps me by opening your locker so I can put things inside. And wow,” Jongin pauses when he sees Hwangmi is getting more pale than before, “you are… really shocked, aren’t you?”

Not even a word leaves Hwangmi’s now trembling lips. Jongin thinks she must be feeling very sorry for not giving Jongdae a chance. “But you know, I won’t take sides. You know I prefer being the neutral one. So you don’t have to worry that I’m forcing you to like my brother, I just want to know why it can’t be him. You… like someone else?”

Just as Jongin finished the question, he hears the sound of the bus braking behind him. Hwangmi looks torn between answering him and leaving for the bus. The girl is looking back and forth at him and it.

Jongin laughs. “And remember that I’m not forcing you to speak.” he says as he takes off his uniform jacket, draping it gently on Hwangmi’s head and shoulder. “I just want you to know that Soojung is not the only available place to pour your heart’s content to. I’m available too. Now go.”

“I,” Hwangmi gestures at the jacket, “y-you don’t have to –“

“Hyung will be worried if you get sick; well I will be too. I know it’s only like three seconds from here to the bus but you know, I can’t let a pretty girl get her shirt wet by the rain.”

There’s a rather long pause, and the bus is already honking for her to get on, but Hwangmi stays. “If… if it’s Soojung, will you do the same?”

Mindlessly, Jongin nods. “Of course, as I said, I can’t let my pretty friends get their shirt wet.”

“Miss, are you getting on or not?” the driver shouts from the bus. Hwangmi turns at him and bows apologetically.

“Bye.” Jongin waves.

Hwangmi stares at him once more before she speeds up into the vehicle. Jongin watches the bus furthering away from his sight before it disappears into another block. He sighs heavily. At least he could fulfill Jongdae’s dream to drape a jacket over the girl he likes. A weird dream, but also a meaningful one.

The rain gets heavier, Jongin notices as he groans. He would’ve been all pretty and dry inside their car if only Jongdae had waited for him to go home together. “To the hell with you hyung.” he seethes.

===

Hell, he closes his eyes, letting his body to get soaked more, it’s a hell.

Jongdae doesn’t know and doesn’t care how long he has been sitting on the basketball yard two blocks from his house. He has been sitting long enough before it rained, and until now he’s still resting his arms against his knees, head hanging low. He knows fever will struck him at night but he doesn’t care. Who knows the fever could erase his memory of at least the recent seven months. Back to the time when he didn’t know how it feels to like someone dearly and also how it feels to be heartbroken.

He cannot believe it. Everything won’t be so screwed up like this if only it had stayed simple; it would’ve been a lot easier if it’s just Hwangmi not wanting to be dating yet or even likes Luhan. Now he wishes that she likes Luhan instead. Luhan is far better now in his eyes. Not him. Not that ing person.

Just because Hwangmi likes that person. Everything is so screwed up like this just because it’s him that Hwangmi holds in her heart. Jongdae would’ve thought of considering everything as an experience but no, this is just too painful to be taken maturely. He feels betrayed, although he knows the person didn’t betray him intentionally; the person didn’t even realize that he had betrayed Jongdae. And it hurts; it hurts so much to know that destiny hates him so much and had decided to mess up with his life.

Jongdae looks up over the dull sky, blinking eventually because the raindrops are getting into his eyes. So this is what it feels like to cry in the middle of the rain; they’re right, it’s the best yet dramatic way to hide his tears. He looks down again to wipe his face. His eyes are burning hot. He has been crying for hours, it seems.

‘I hope we’ll be best buddies again the next time we meet.’

He chuckles bitterly before he screams for the umpteenth time at the afternoon.

Best buddy my .



“I’m actually thinking of looking for him right now.”

“Are you crazy?? It’s still raining!”

“But it’s so not him to just disappear like this. Who knows he had gotten into an accident and he couldn’t inform anyone about it?”

“Then let me come with you.”

“Seriously dad, you’re working.” Jongin rolls his eyes. “Just let me handle him.”

“But I’m not letting you go alone, son. At least bring a friend with you, like Baekhyun or Chanyeol, or Kyungsoo, or even Sehun.”

He stares at his phone for a while before he presses it against his right ear again. “Dad you really should stop worrying too much. I’m going now, okay? I’ll call you again if I had found him.”

“Okay then. Be careful, Jongin.”

Jongin was about to answer when the front door opens slowly. He blinks when it reveals a very soaked Kim Jongdae, with trembling body and blue lips. “I… actually had found him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s home. And he looks sick. I’ll take care of him. Don’t worry too much, dad, okay? Bye.” he says before he hung up and shoves his phone into the pocket of his jeans. He immediately reaches for Jongdae who looks like he’s going to pass out any second. “Hyung!! Where have you been?!!”

Jongdae, who’s walking slowly like a zombie, pushes away Jongin’s hand. “Not your business.”

“Hyung your body is burning hot!!” Jongin shrieks. “And I’m not even saying a pun!”

“Go away.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Disappearing for the whole day only to come back like this, are you sure you’re not crazy??”

“I am!!” Jongdae suddenly turns around, blaring red eyes greet Jongin’s shocked one. “I did it because I’m crazy!! Now you happy??”

Before Jongin could retort back, Jongdae falls down onto the marble floor, limbs unmoving. “Hyung!!!” he shrieks as he gathers Jongdae in his arms. “Hyung!!”

“I hate you,” Jongdae’s eyes are disoriented, “I hate you but I hate myself more –“

“Aunt Yoon, please call Yonghoon for me, I need help to carry hyung upstairs.” Jongin instructs at the maid who had brought a towel for Jongdae. The lady nods before she hurries to call the other worker.

Jongin sighs heavily. “What happened to you?” he mumbles at the half unconscious Jongdae.

He had thought Jongdae wasn’t able to comprehend what he said, but then Jongdae mumbles brokenly.

“Life.” he answered. “It ing happened.”

===