A/N

I’m really sorry for the hiatus. Exams were dragging me to the depths of hell.

*smooches you guys*

 

 

 

 

Monday morning is a surprise-not-really-a-surprise for Jongin.

 

Instead of having a gloomy and defeated looking Jongdae as what he had expected, he finds his brother walks casually towards the dining room. And he actually hums. Like it’s another good usual morning and no girl had rejected him last Saturday.

 

But then he remembers that there are times when Jongdae coats his sadness with a smile.

 

“Are you going to stay like that?” he hears Jongdae’s voice. “I’m getting the hammer and nails. We could use a statue here.”

 

“How are you feeling?” Jongin asks, ignoring the elder’s sassy rant.

 

Jongdae flashes a casual smile at him. “Fine, I guess.”

 

Gently, Jongin put a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder with a soft look in his eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me, hyung.”

 

“Why? Because you’re my brother and you know me so much?”

 

“No. Because you don’t lie to those who had seen your bare at least once.”

 

“… irrelevant, but I get it.” Jongdae comments nonchalantly before he sighs. “Super duper sad, actually. Well, I guess that’s what you get when you have your first rejection. You have to find a way to cope with your shame and broken heart.”

 

Jongin winces. “That was totally sad, hyung, the way you said it.”

 

“I guess I’m turning into a melancholic guy. I’m going to listen to Taylor Swift for the next two weeks. Mozart can’t understand me for now.”

 

“Um,” Jongin blinks innocently, “I don’t see the relevance – well then, you can always talk to me, and you know that, right?”

 

A warm smile painted on Jongdae’s lips as he pats Jongin’s shoulder. “I know. Thanks, bro.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

“And for your information, I had seen your bare like years earlier before you saw mine.”

 

“… that was an unnecessary information, but thanks.”

 

 

 

“Just don’t touch the subject for now.”

 

“Yeah. Sad Jongdae is really making me cry.”

 

“I actually never thought she will reject him. Like, seriously,” Baekhyun huffs as he stabs his chopsticks into the rice in the bowl in front of him, “I know Jongdae is obnoxious, but I had seen how he was with her. He was a total gentleman to her, he made her laugh at the entire dinner, and he even drove her home. I seriously believe they had a good time.”

 

“Don’t stab your chopsticks into the rice like that. It’s not good.” Sehun pipes in, as always, with his irrelevant comment, as always.

 

“Huh? Why?” Baekhyun immediately takes the chopsticks off.

 

“I had read once in the internet about manners in using chopsticks. What you did was one of the ‘no’s.” Sehun says as he delicately put his own chopsticks down next to his bowl. “You should put it like this.”

 

Baekhyun imitates what Sehun did as he stares at the younger in awe. “You know a lot, Sehunnie!” he exclaims before he returns to the conversation. “Back to the topic. So what are we gonna do about him? Should we take him to the mall or else?”

 

“I say we leave him free for now. There’s a lot in his mind, I don’t think we should bother him.” Jongin answers. “We’ll come to him in like two or three days.”

 

“A guy, foolishly in love,” Kyungsoo speaks up out of sudden, “so much in love that it brought pain to him.”

 

“Well now I don’t find it creepy.” Baekhyun deadpans.

 

“You should’ve taken the literature major, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol laughs. “Jongin too, he sounds smart when he’s annoyed or being sarcastic.”

 

“Your statement is inappropriate but I will say nothing against it since I respect you for being born two years earlier than me.”

 

“See? That was what I talked about.”

 

===

 

The hallway is not really crowded when Jongdae strolls along it. He’s supposed to meet Yixing in their usual place to finish the song they have been writing since around two months ago. He sighs. Maybe he won’t be able to give much in the session today. His mind is in circles, one thought tangled to another that it comes to the stage where he just doesn’t know what to think.

 

But then a certain golden rose hair pin attached on jet black hair caught his attention.

 

His heart thumps madly. Even after the rejection and the broken heart, he still can’t control his feelings when it comes to her. He never wanted to take the problem too seriously like this; he hates being dramatic, but he’s hurt. She had hurt him, although she did it unintentionally.

 

However, his legs had already brought him closer to where she’s standing, before her locker. He chuckles bitterly. He probably has to say goodbye to that locker from now on.

 

Hwangmi doesn’t even realize that someone’s approaching her, too immersed in rearranging her belongings in the locker, and the door of the locker had blocked her sight. Jongdae leans against the other lockers and knocks at hers. She gasped, startled with the sudden voice coming right beside her ears. When she closes the door of her locker, Jongdae could see the innocently confused look on her face, and he tries his best not to chuckle. He doesn’t even know why he did that. Can’t he chuckle in front of her?

 

“Hi.” Jongdae says quietly.

 

He had expected her to be awkward, or keep her eyes off his as they talk, or worse, run away. But she smiles softly at him. “Hello.”

 

“Don’t you have class right now?” he asks genuinely.

 

She opens her locker again, giving a way for Jongdae to change his spot. “It ended sooner. Good thing, though. I don’t think I could stand listening to Grandpa’s fairy tale any longer.”

 

Jongdae actually chuckles. Every single student in the campus hates their teacher Professor Yoon so much, and because he’s the oldest teacher around, they secretly yet not so secretly call him ‘Grandpa’. “Um, I’m here to say I’m sorry.”

 

This time, Hwangmi chooses to look at him without saying anything.

 

“You must’ve been uncomfortable with my sudden confession that night. It was my entire fault, seriously. I should’ve tried to be closer to you more first before I do that. I am sorry.”

 

Hwangmi blinks slowly. Jongdae could tell that she’s having a hard time in finding any proper words to say. “Sunbae, I,” she starts slowly, “I’m sorry too.”

 

“For rejecting me?” Jongdae laughs. “Seriously, rejecting people is not a mistake.”

 

“No, not for that.” she says again.

 

Jongdae’s the one who’s confused this time. “Then…?”

 

She sighs first. “Call me narcissistic or being too confident of myself, but,” she hesitates, “I saw how you looked hurt when I said that I don’t have romantic feelings for you, and I… I felt so bad. No, I feel bad. I still do until now.”

 

Jongdae doesn’t know what to feel. Should he sympathize with her because he had put her in an uncomfortable situation? Or should he be mad at her because she had reminded him of the worst night in his life?

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Jongdae says out of sudden. “You’ll kind of hate me if I ask, but I just want to know.”

 

Hwangmi hesitatingly looks up at him. She nods.

 

“If I keep on getting closer to you, if I keep trying in winning your heart, will you have romantic feelings for me someday?” Jongdae asks slowly, yet surely. “If I don’t give up, will you fall for me eventually?”

 

He knows it’s really awkward between them right now, but he needs to know. He really needs to know if his fight will make him see the light in the end. He needs to know if he won’t waste his time and heart in liking her.

 

“Sunbae,” she speaks quietly, “there are a lot of girls who are better than me. Why do you have to be stuck with me?”

 

“Because my feelings are already strong for you. It had gone too strong that I can’t step back from liking you now. Hell,” Jongdae pauses to sigh, “I think I love you already. My feelings for you are too strong for now that I can’t stop it until you give me the proper reason to.”

 

She looks moved with his words, and it gives him a little light of hope inside.

 

“You haven’t answered my question.” he says. “Will you see me the way I see you someday?”

 

He really has that little bulb of hope inside; it shines so bright right now. But it gets dimmer and dimmer as she looks down on her shoes and slowly shook her head.

 

He already knows the answer before she says it. “No, sunbae.” she whispers. “I… could never see you that way.”

 

“Why?” he asks gently. “Why can’t I have even a single chance with you?”

 

A long silence passed before she sighs heavily. She’s still looking down. “I already have someone I like. And…” she looks up at him, “just like you, my feelings are already too strong for him that I can’t see anyone else but him.”

 

Okay, Jongdae’s not really surprised, but he didn’t expect the answer. He didn’t expect it at all. A lot of thoughts are running in his head before he speaks. He could only think of one person. “Luhan?”

 

She seems a little bit startled. Then she giggles softly. “No, not him. Luhan is just like you. He’s a good friend.”

 

“Then who?” Jongdae asks again. Then he looks down. “I’m sorry; I’m irritating you, aren’t I?”

 

Hwangmi smiles gently as she shook her head. “It’s fine, sunbae. You know I could never hate you.” she says for the sake to brighten up the atmosphere around them. “But… I can’t tell you.”

 

Biting his bottom lip, Jongdae looks at her again. “Does he know that you like him?”

 

This time Hwangmi looks down again. “No, he doesn’t.”

 

Life is playing game on him. Here he is, ready to love her with all his heart, but she already loves someone else and that person doesn’t even know about it. He wants to know who he is so he could go to him and drags him to the nearest pool and drown him there. Okay that was scary, blame his broken heart.

 

“Sunbae…?” he wakes up from his reverie by her voice.

 

Jongdae stares at her for a quite long minute before he steps back. “I…” he whispers, “I just wish all the best for you.”

 

He sees her eyes are getting watery by his words. But she offers him a smile. A weary one. “I wish for you more than that, sunbae.” she says, genuinely. “And I hope… I hope we’ll be best buddies again the next time we meet.”

 

Jongdae wants to simply say yes, because he doesn’t want to lose a friend, but he finds no words to say. It’s like he’s not sure if they will meet again like this. It’s like he’s not sure if they’re going to have a chance to talk like this again. He shakes the odd thoughts away as he flashes a smile at her.

 

He turns around, planning on never walking through the same hallway again.

 

 

 

Jongin watches as Jongdae leaves the spot he has been standing at. He watches as Hwangmi sighes heavily, closing her locker and leans her back against it. He watches as she looks down on her shoes, looking defeated.

 

“Looks like it wasn’t a nice talk after all.” Soojung murmurs quietly next to him.

 

They met at the dance studio since Jongin doesn’t have class until around thirty minutes later and Soojung’s class has ended sooner, so Jongin decided to walk Soojung to her locker. But once they saw both Jongdae and Hwangmi are talking, they hid at the other side of the hallway. Although the conversation was inaudible for them, they could practically tell that both were having a hard time in facing each other.

 

“I wonder what Jongdae hyung told her.” Jongin murmurs too. Maybe Jongdae was asking why she rejected him. But that would be too awkward then, and Jongdae hates awkwardness.

 

“Hwangmi felt guilty that she had rejected sunbae.” Soojung says at him. “She was very down about it.”

 

Jongin sighs. “My brother was no better. He walks around smiling but I know he’s hurting. Well, that’s not unexpected, though.” he watches Hwangmi keep unmoving. “He likes her so much. I think he even loves her.”

 

“I can see that.” Soojung says honestly. “Everyone can see it but her.”

 

“That’s the problem. Why can’t she see it?” Jongin sighs again. The love drama is getting on his nerves.

 

“Because she sees someone else.”

 

Soojung thought she had mumbled the words, but Jongin caught it just fine. “What?” he turns at her. “She likes someone else?”

 

Blinking nervously, Soojung straightens up her body. “That’s not my place to tell.”

 

“But you just said it recently.”

 

“Well, forget it.”

 

“You’re weird.” Jongin snorts, but then he goes completely still when he catches Hwangmi staring at both of them, unreadable expression on her face. “Uh, I think she’s looking right here.”

 

Soojung immediately looks for her best friend. “Damn you’re right.”

 

“Should we… you know, go to her?”

 

“Yeah I think we should.”

 

So both of them walk awkwardly towards Hwangmi who’s still looking at them as if they’re tourists coming in her way to ask for some directions. Jongin doesn’t know what to do, seriously. What should he do? What should he say?

 

“Hello you two.” Hwangmi chirps at them.

 

Jongin looks up at the girl. He had seen with his own eyes how sad she looked. But now she greets them as if nothing happened. He starts wondering if she’s just as good as Jongdae in hiding their sadness.

 

“Where are you planning to go?” Soojung asks, opening her own locker.

 

“Cafeteria. I’m starving.” Hwangmi whines. “And you, Jongin?”

 

“I have class,” Jongin answers as he glances at his wristwatch, “in ten minutes.”

 

“Well then you should be going!” Hwangmi playfully shoves him on the shoulder.

 

Jongin boyishly smile at her. “Okay then, I should go now.” he says as he scoots closer to her. “But Hwangmi, can I say something?”

 

There’s the guarded look on her face as she flashes a friendly smile at him. “What, Jongin?”

 

“Uh, I hope that the thing between you and my brother won’t make it awkward between us. I mean, well, whatever happened, I’m still your friend.” Jongin says, a little bit shyly.

 

She actually looks relieved as she giggled. “You’re too sweet, Jongin, I might feed you to the ants in my garden.”

 

“You’re creepy.”

 

“Oh yes I am.”

 

“Shall we go now?” Soojung pipes in. “I’m actually hungry too.”

 

“Okay then, see you guys some other time.” Jongin steps back as he waves at the girls. He turns around immediately and walks in a quick pace to his class.

 

He didn’t notice how there are two longing gazes on him at the same time.

 

===

 

“New neighbor?”

 

Jongdae nods slowly, looking at the truck of the moving service across the street. Apparently the empty house right in front of them was finally sold and a family is finally here to live in it. Jongdae is actually ecstatic about it, since their neighbors are older than him and Jongin which means they don’t have friends in the neighborhood – hanging around with Mr. Shim almost every Friday doesn’t make the seventy four years old man their buddy. Maybe this time there’s actually a boy or even a girl around their age there.

 

“Have you seen the owner?” Jongin asks.

 

Jongdae shook his head. “It was just the truck and the people from moving service. Maybe the owner will soon be here.” he finished his words as a black Toyota Camry comes in sight. “Oh, I think that’s them.”

 

True to his words, the car stops right behind the truck. A beautiful woman in her forty – maybe even mid thirty – steps out of the back seat gracefully. Jongdae leans closer to the window to get a better look.

 

“Damn. Call me ert or still in post rejected times,” Jongdae mumbles, “but that auntie looks hot.”

 

“Jesus Christ, hyung, you’re disgusting!!” Jongin hisses as he pinches the side of Jongdae’s belly, making his brother yelps in pain.

 

“Can we make dad marry her? She’s ing gorgeous. I don’t mind having a step mom if she’d be gorgeous like that.”

 

“I’m really considering in ending your pathetic life with my own hands, Kim Jongdae.”

 

“But look!” Jongdae insisted as he presses the tip of his index finger against the glass. “Isn’t she – oh, there’s her son.”

 

Jongin looks again through the window. The door of the back seat is still open, and someone steps out from it. The person turns to be a tall guy, probably around their age, tall and a little bit too skinny. He has this black raven hair that almost covered his eyes.

 

“Oh, he’s as dark as you.” of course Jongdae’s first comment has to be rude.

 

“Once again, hyung, my skin is tanned, not dark. Africans are dark. Black people in America are dark.”

 

“… you do realize that you were being a racist bastard, right?”

 

“You triggered it.” Jongin huffs. “Anyway, let’s greet the auntie.”

 

“Damn to the yes!!” Jongdae chirps as he skips towards the front door. Jongin cringes in horror as he follows suit.

 

When they’re outside, the lady is talking to one of the people from the moving service. It looks like she’s a smooth talker, because the man agreed with everything she said. She doesn’t even forget to smile all along. And Jongin is trying so hard not to puke right at the place from seeing Jongdae’s awestruck face.

 

Once the lady has finished talking to the man, she turns around and finds them standing. “Oh, good afternoon!” she says, and Jongin notices how she has accent when she speaks.

 

Jongdae immediately lurches forward and stops right before here. “Good afternoon, auntie! I’m Jongdae and that is my younger brother Jongin.” he chirps, pointing back at Jongin. “We live right across your new house!”

 

“Oh my, you’re such a charming boy.” she laughs warmly. Despite her glamorous attire and her attitude that screams authority minutes before, she has this motherly aura when she speaks to Jongdae. “I’m Anna Huang. Nice to meet you, Jongdae…?”

 

“Kim. Kim Jongdae.” he says with the awestruck look still on his face. “Your name is so pretty. You are so pretty.”

 

Okay that’s enough, Jongin screams inside his head as he steps forward to join the conversation, my turn to speak before he humiliates the family further.

 

“Good afternoon, auntie.” Jongin bows politely at her.

 

“Hello, Jongin.” she smiles at him warmly too. “You guys are such bright and polite kids.” she says, and they notice the admiring tone in her voice. “I wish my son is bright as you guys, though. Oh right, wait a minute.” she briefed before she walks away and says something which they believe in Mandarin to the guy they saw before. Said guy didn’t say anything but they follows her when she comes to them again. “This is Zitao, my one and only son.” she says before she mumbles in Mandarin again to the guy. Said guy bows at them.

 

“Hello, Jeu-tao!!” Jongdae chirps.

 

Jongin resists the urge to slap his brother right away. “It’s Zi-tao, hyung.”

 

Jongdae blinks at him. “Oh,” he mumbles before he turns to the Zitao guy and smiles, “how old are you, Jeutao?”

 

The guy keeps his mouth shut. His mother answers it for him instead. “He’s twenty one this year. I’m sorry he doesn’t talk much, he’s a quiet person.”

 

“Or maybe he’s just still learning in Korean.” Jongin comments.

 

The Huang lady smiles at him. “Yeah, he’s still learning.”

 

“Well, Jeutao, don’t worry because gege is here! I’ll teach you Korean so you can talk freely sooner.” Jongdae says excitedly.

 

Which is replied with a Mandarin mumble from the guy.

 

“I think he hates you.” Jongin whispers at his brother.

 

Jongdae frowns at him. “How could someone hate me?”

 

“Anyway, kids, it’s really nice to meet you two,” Anna Huang says, “but I have to get inside to settle down. I’ll see you guys some other time?”

 

“It will probably be good if you have a dinner with us some of these days, auntie! I’ll tell our dad – oh right! Auntie where’s your husband?”

 

Jongin is as close as the gap between his thumb and his index finger to hit Jongdae on the face.

 

“Ah, we were divorced many years ago.” the lady seems casual in talking about the thing.

 

“Great!! Because our dad is a widow man and I think you guys should –“ Jongin immediately presses his palm against Jongdae’s mouth. “– hmpfbmhph!!”

 

“I’m so sorry for his rudeness, auntie. Have a nice afternoon and welcome to the neighborhood!” Jongin chirps at lady Huang as he literally drags his brother back to their house. He hears the lady laughs cheerily before she says something in Mandarin to his son.

 

This time, it’s Jongdae who didn’t notice a gaze on him.

 

===