Meanwhile, Jessica sits in the ICU and holds Hyoyeon’s hands. She kept on talking to her trying to guide her back into consciousness. Everything happened pains her and she can’t lose another sister again.

“Hyoyeonniee, do you remember our first fight? It was so silly right? We always bicker but you know that I always love you,” she holds the hand of her friend of almost 14 years. “I don’t always say this but I’m thankful to you. Among us nine, you were the first one I met and being new here in Korea I was happy that I found a dependable friend. Who knew that we will be in the same group years later and we even became roommates before.”

“We always love to hit each other, that is why fans named us violent couple. But you were the one who understands me the most. I can vent all of my worries and you will be there listening and comforting me.”

“Hyoyeoniee, I want to see your infectious smile again. Your presence gives a happy and bright atmosphere. Please wake up and scold me again when I make dance mistakes. I …I missed you,” she tells her friend as her tears fall down.

As she cries a pair of eyes flutters open and stares at her lovingly.

…

Why am I still so afraid?

Was there also such a powerless me here?

Reverting back to a child

I still can’t express my words

I can’t move forward if it’s only a fairytale

~POV~

Today the sky mourns for you. It seems like the nature expresses its grief at your sudden passing. A while ago I sat there in a daze while eulogies for you were delivered. I can’t believe my ears. I can’t believe my eyes. I don’t want to believe that you’re gone. My memories with you were still fresh from my mind. I still remembered our last conversation in the van…

We were too busy living between our work and career that we had forgot how fragile life is. We were at the top enjoying the success we had earned after the years of hardwork. We live by following our everyday schedules. Who would know that we had to say goodbye like this?

In just a moment someone you love can be taken away. Whatever your position in life is, there’s no excuses. If your time here on earth runs out you need to go. I just can’t understand why it has to be you. You who is a good person. Is it your time already? Or is it just wrong timing?

I can vividly remember your smiling face telling me to go back when I was in that deep sleep. I followed you without knowing that I will be leaving you alone in that place. Why did you send me back? Why do I need to send you away this time? I followed you and here I am in my wheelchair, as I did my farewell.

I was on time though. I woke up before they had sent you away. My tears kept falling throughout your funeral. It pains me to know that our shikshin isn’t here anymore. It pains me to realize that nobody will do your parts in the songs anymore. It hurts to go back in our dorm where our memories with you are still fresh.

As they lowered you beneath the grounds I dragged my still weak body to put flowers on you. I don’t know what we will do in the future. I don’t know how I will recover from this, physically and emotionally. It will take time, maybe years when I can finally smile at the memories of you.

Sooyoungiee, I rarely get serious but this time I don’t have the reason to be okay when you had just left us. I haven’t said goodbye to someone I love, except for now. I sorry if all I did w