…

“The awards night is exciting because there’s too many good music released this year,” Tiffany commented. The girls were currently sitting at their reserved seat at the venue.

“I wonder how hard it is for them to choose the winners,” Yuri says.  Taeyeon, Jessica, Tiffany, Yuri, Yoona and Seohyun were all watching the current performer onstage which is Super Junior. In nearby tables, their labelmates were also seated like TVXQ, F(x) and EXO.

“Hey! Mamacita naega ayayayaya!!” Yoona and Jessica were singing along to the song while doing the steps while seated. The maknae just smiles at her unnies while clapping her hands to cheer for their sunbae. For some reason, Taeyeon was quiet.

~Taeyeon’s POV~

I feel uneasy. From our flight from Korea to now at the event I feel uncomfortable. It’s as if my mind is zoning out. I don’t know why I’m like this. Maybe I’m a bit nervous if we can grab even just one award tonight. But I’d never felt like this before. I try to set aside my worries and enjoy the event. My members beside is having fun and being like their silly self, not minding the fancams catching them being dorks.

Super Junior finishes their performance and the MCs take over to talk when my phone rings. I excused myself and rushed to a place where I can answer the call.

“Ohh…Hello Soojin unnie?,” I asked surprise at her sudden call. However I sensed something wrong when I heard sniffling sounds at the end of the line. “Unnie? Are you crying? Why?”

“Taeyeon-shi… she… my sister, she’s…she’s gone,” she said with difficulty between her tears.

I think all my energy had drained when I heard her. I don’t want to believe it. I want to see the news for proof. I want the call from our managers. I should believe her because she’s family but this thing… I’ve never heard someone I knew dying. “Unnie? How? Why? They’re doing Sunny’s radio show right now. How can it happen?”

“There’s a car accident, their van was involved… Sooyoungie had passed right at the scene … the others… they were rushed to the hospital… they’re in critical state including the manager. “

I didn’t know how to react. She ended the call after bringing me the tragic news and I browsed the internet for confirmation. I saw the headlines, the heartbreaking news. I felt numb, I felt my heart aching. I want to rush there in Korea right now and see my beloved members—no, my beloved sisters.

I walked with heavy steps towards our seat again. Some of the winners were being announced and for the sake of everyone, I decided to tell the girls later after the show. I sat down with my best emotionless face. I can’t laugh or smile at this but I’m too shocked to cry either. Its better that the girls didn’t noticed my face.

I think I haven’t paying attention to the MCs too because I was startled when Tiffany stood up and the girls cheered. Yoona grabbed my hand and together we followed the others to the stage as we receive our award as Best Girl Group.

No, not here… not at the stage. I can’t break down in front of everyone. All the people around here still don’t know about the news. But my eyes were already glassy with tears so I try to hold them back. I just hope that they will mistake it for tears of joy for the award.

“First of all I want to say thank you to everyone for this award. Thank you to God for all these blessings and to our family and friends who keeps on supporting us. To the staff and Lee Soo Man sunbaenim whom we will forever be thankful for everything. “ Seohyun politely starts the speech.

“And of course to our lovely Sones who never left our side. Really, there had been many bumps in our journey but whenever we look back you were there walking the road with us. We are not perfect but you love us all the way and we are thankful of all of you being Sones,” Tiffany addressed the side where our fans are and they cheered while waving the pink lightsticks. Then she nudged me to say something.

I nervously hold the mic and as if it’s a scene from a movie I felt the crowd goes silent and time turns into a slow motion. I decide