You stared up at the sign. You hadn't been back here in ages. The bell chimed indicating your presence in the Café. Your tired eyes searched for him as you stifled a yawn. He was in his usual corner spot frantically scribbling and if you didn’t know him better you would think it was just one of his usual bursts of inspiration. Sadly, considering it was closer to dawn, you knew he was having a harder time than he let on but you had helped pick himself up in worse situations before. As you approached his side you saw the little signs. His hair, which was always styled when he left the house, was a devilish mess. The bags underneath his eyes were darker than Seungri, the panda’s. His clothes wrinkled as if he’s worn them for days, which was probably true. You moved to sit in the chair across from him until his ragged voice finally acknowledged your presence even though his eyes never left the paper in from of him nor did his hand stop its consistent writing.

“That’s not your seat.” You froze mid-squat. Although you knew very well he was taking about the white chair, you couldn’t help but interpret his words.

That space in my heart is reserved for her.

He still longed for her. Even after she left him. Yes, you knew it had only been three days but the irritation at his loyalty was there and it made you proceed to sit.

“It’s not like she’ll come back for it anytime soon.” You had let your jealousy get the better of you.

He tensed, obviously catching on to your meaning. The guilt cause you to avoid looking at him but you still felt his gaze as he lifted his face towards yours. His eyes narrowed in on you and you made yourself look up to faced him. The hurt that was plastered on his face at that exact moment shattered your heart. The worst part was that you caused it. No. You wouldn’t let yourself take the blame for the hole SHE had left.

The silence between your exchange seemed to last a lifetime. Finally he clenched his jaw, running his fingers through his hair as he looked back at the napkin.

“I thought…” his voice was small and pathetic. “I thought that you were her…” it cracked as he trailed off.

Wordlessly you rose from the chair and got away from him before the tears fell. Quickly you wiped the evidence as you approached the counter.

“The usual?” The server asks smiling.

Confused you blinked a few times before stuttering out a ‘what?’ The boy laughs and explains.

“One Ice Coffee and one Espresso double shot. It’s what that man always orders for you two.”

All of a sudden you understood. This boy was confusing you with her.

“Ah... That’s right. Thank you.” You smiled and you couldn’t tell if your heart skipped a beat due to happiness or pain. You told yourself it was simpler to lie instead of explain who you really were but no matter what you would never be able to lie to yourself. The sharp pain that stung your chest after that thought almost knocked you over and you looked up at the ceiling hoping the tears would not come. You would not break down in public, not in this shabby Café you use to love, not in front of a stranger working at this reached place she had taken over, and never when Seunghyun was present.

Yet he was the only one who even had the power to make you cry. The server came back with your drinks and you carried them back to the corner. You managed to glace at the clock on the wall that showed only ten minutes had passed since your arrival. It was still dark outside but why would that surprise you? It was barely even 5 AM in the morning. The walk back felt a thousand times its actual length and Seunghyun hadn’t moved an inch. He was still blankly staring down as if the napkin held the secret to life. You placed the both coffees down, his in front of him.

“Oppa-“

“Don’t-“ He startled you with the volume of his voice as he stood suddenly. He wouldn’t look at you so you quietly walked back to the seat across from him. He was still standing but when he glanced over to you he visibly flinched at the sight. You watched as he swallowed forcefully and sat carefully back down but never taking his eyes off your drink.

“She calls me oppa.” He spoke quietly as if the words were an animal ready to attack him.

Called. You mentally corrected and he continued on after a short breath.

“That’s her drink.” He was biting his lip now and closing his eyes to rid himself from having the tears come.

Was.

“Seunghyun.” You placed your hand on his and continued on ignoring how he tensed.

“Don’t let her destroy everything you love.” You pleaded but his next words made you freeze completely.

“There’s nothing left to love.” The bitterness and pain in his voice only grew into desperation as he persisted.

“I am alone. Everything was a lie. Everything is a lie.”

“No. No Seunghyun-op” You stopped yourself for a moment. “You are not alone. You have me. I’m here, I’ll always be here.” He finally looked into your eyes and you gave him a small smile.

“And do you know why?” No No. Stop! Abort, abort! You moron don’t- “Because I love you.” Now it was his turn to freeze and for some reason you could neither stop the words nor the tears from pouring out of you.

“I’ve always loved you. From day one. For 7 years, I watched you fall in love and lose yourself over and over… because of Her.” The server had been staring at you both for a while now and awkwardly shifted his eyes away from yours when you saw him but still you carried on, shouting now. “When she cheated, when the said she couldn’t handle being with you, now that she just plain got up and LEFT!” Everything you had built up, every door you tried to hide behind, everything had broken down. You were sobbing in front of the man you swore you’d never show an ounce of sorrow to.

“I am here. I’ve been here Seunghyun.” You voice was a whistper.

“I was the one mending the pieces of you back together! So tell me Seunghyun. Why is it she gets to take you every time she can’t handle it but I. ME. The one who sticks around. Why is it I can’t have even a portion of the love you give her?” You didn’t even recognize your voice with all the desperation. With all the spite. Through your tears you couldn’t even make out his face. What you didn’t see though, was with every word, that face you loved had grown darker. What you didn’t know was the moment you confessed, he had already planned to shut you out.

“Thank you.” That deep voice broke you away from your anguish. “For proving to me that I am, in fact, alone.” Your sharp intake of breath signified that it was not what you were expecting. He rose to leave but your next words stopped him in his tracks.

“That wench ruined you.” You spat the accusation at him. As he turned towards you, you felt the shivers through your whole body. He had never looked so emotionless, so distant, so… indifferent and certainly not to you.

“No.” The statement resonated through your body and you couldn’t even feel the tears that were now soaking your cheeks anymore.

“I ruined you.” There was a millisecond of emotion that passed through his eyes. Guilt, sadness but it was the pity that finally caused you to completely break down. You fell back into the chair as your anger faded to despair. You watched him walk out in the rain. The chimes tinkered once more indicating his departure from you. He had left you. 7 years of friendship. Of going to every concert and screaming, both in the crowd and backstage until your voice gave out and your palms bled. Of taking care of him through every flu, every little cold, every discomfort. All those nights of laughter and jokes. Every moment that made you fall deeper and deeper in love with him. All of it, lead up to this.

Completely broken and hopeless in a Café that you use to always visit but now despise because of her. With her drink in a chair that was once yours, at 5 in the morning, alone.

Nothing but the heartless silence and your deepest wish to die to escape the agony of your destroyed heart. You had finally confessed. After 7 years of being undoubtedly in love with him. You lost him to your own jealousy. You had force his hand, forced him to choose you, and he chose nothing. He chose to leave you in your own misery. In your one-sided love in the Café where you met him. The Café where you fell in love as soon as he walked through that door. Your Café.