Based off of Twice [x]

Bored snipit:

This was not the first time she had left me, nor would it be the last. I guess though I always thought she'd come back. I thought no matter what she needs me. Even if she never loved me like I love her. As long as I was near her. I was satisfied with just being her backup. What hurt the most was not that she finally fell in love. No, that I could handle because no matter what I wanted her happiness. It was that she could never come back to me... even if she wanted to. Even if she loved me.

Long Story Short:

I was back and just like the times before I stared at the door trying to pluck the courage to open it, or at least knock. She would be home and she would welcome me like every time before. If I didn’t want to tell her she wouldn’t ask. That was the kind of angel my best friend was. Finally taking a breath I lifted my fist and tapped the door four times. That was both of your signal that it was the other. My whole body froze when I heard giggling through the door and a muffled “Stop!”  More giggles and then “I need to get the door” the familiar voice wined. I started backing up in a panic, my eyes darting around the hall searching for a place to hide. Too slow, she had already opened the door and upon seeing your frantic expression she called back in the house.

“Babe. I need to talk to my Oppa for a bit. I’ll be right back I promise.”

“No worries beautiful! Take your time.” That was a male’s voice. She was with another man? How did this happen? My sweet innocent Vivian had never shown any interest in another guy before?

I managed to pull myself out of my thoughts long enough to catch the end of her words towards this mystery guy. “heehee thanks Jakie I love you too!” That giggle, that look. They had never been directed to another guy besides me before. When she turned back towards me her smile faltered.

“What’s up Ri-ah?” She closes the door and wraps her cardigan around her to protect her against the cool air. I instantly took off my jacket to give to her.

She takes a few steps away from me and shakes her head. I open your mouth to protest but my confidence has disappeared. She sighs and runs her hand through her red hair. Her beauty has always amazed me and tonight is no exception.

“Seunghyun…” She begins but I cut her off.

“I should go.” I state quietly and start walking back into the night. A hand grabs my arm and although I know I could easily escape I let her turn me around towards her. She avoids my eyes and instead tells me wait here. Disappearing back into her house I wait as I was told for several minutes before she emerges again. This time she has a proper jacket, mittens and even a scarf on which make me laugh. It’s just like old times for a moment as she playfully glares at me and swats my arm.

“You know I can’t stand the cold.” She pouts as we start to walk towards the park we grew up on. She talks about her life these last four years and I listen. She had graduated college with above average marks and was able to get into a great pre-med school. Now she was in school and had a part time job with a small recording label helping her friend Mei with business. She joked towards quitting so she could live out her dream as a trot singer making you both laugh. Then she got to how she met Jake after a little teasing. It was at the Bbq the two of you use to visit. He was a new waiter so he was the only one who didn’t treat her like a dongsaeng. They both shared the love for theme parks, something she knew I never liked, and so they decided to go together since both knew no one else who loved them. They ended up having a blast and it all started there.

The whole time I watched her face go through different emotions of happiness as she described everything about him to me and although it was bittersweet, I was content with her joyous atmosphere. Finally she started getting closer to the present and slowly she started to trail off as you both sat on the swings. Both remaining silent as she looked up at the stars and I looked at her. Suddenly she turns towards me.

“Where did you go Ri?” Her question catches me by surprise because never before had she asked when I had left. I always just left and then later I’d always return to her waiting for me. She watches me struggle for an answer and sighs. Looking away she continues to speak.

“It’s been four years.”

“Yeah”, I reply lamely.

“Things change.” She turns towards me once more.

“Feelings change Seunghyun.” She looks directly into my eyes and I see the truth. “I loved you Lee Seunghyun.” She confesses and her eyes start to water. She’s hurt but her eyes never leaves mine even as a few tears slip out. I quickly reach my hand up and wipe them and caress her cheek before I can stop myself.

“I didn’t know when you would be back. I didn’t even know if you were coming back.” She stops to pull away from my hands and wipe the rest of the tears from her face.

“Does he know?” I mumble.

“Yeah. He was the one who-“ She stopped again trying to find the words.

“Saved you. From me.” I finished and she stares at me sadly but still nods. I hang my head with shame.

“That’s good.” I laugh not even trying to hide my bitterness. I didn’t need to in front of her. “ That’s good” I repeat.

She hugs me from the side.

“I’m here for you Ri-“

“But not always”, I finish once more and stand up, removing myself from her embrace. “Not anymore.” I added under my breath. I am facing away from her and finally I end it.

“It’s late Vivian. Get some rest.” I don’t turn to look at her as she leaves but right before she’s out of my sights I call to her with the confidence I don’t feel.

“Yah! Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding!” I point to my left hand. “I better be the Man of Honor!” I try to joke and I can make out a small smile on her face as she waves but gives me no reply.

When she is completely gone into the distance my smile falls. I walk towards the opposite direction that she left. I went to the only other place I could go. The only place I belong. The cold dark night.