Chapter 1

edelweiss

“I’m kicking you out of the house.”

Taehyung hardly believed his father’s words. How could an only father possibly think of abandoning his own wretched son? Were other beings typically more important than a father’s son? Was Taehyung, perhaps, being replaced by another better son of his father’s? Was his father just putting on a show by tossing a son of his in a trashcan whenever he thought hope was gone? Whenever he thought that that conquering son would become a competitor of his in the end?

Taehyung intensely stared at him without a single blink. His eyes were certainly bigger than they used to be. His father’s, on the other hand, were as small as usual. Kwan was just there, lurking, as if he was anticipating for a tear of Taehyung’s to burst out. Taehyung nearly ignored the unforeseen fact that he had just been kicked out as he, in the meantime, asked about the silly things that didn’t matter.

“How about my things?” His voice turned into pure silence:

“I need my wallet at least; my clothes and study books, too.”

You could hear the fear in his voice, as he remained for an answer. They crazily kept staring at each other as if they were in a bloodcurdling war between loyalty and disloyalty. There were really no close relation — love — at the moment. They were now both independent gentlemen, fighting for their right. Men, fighting for their pride, too. At the end of the day, they regrettably weren’t more than strangers to each other.

As his father madly frowned, he opened the door with his old, wrinkled hands.

“You’re not getting them,” he hardheartedly assured. “They’re out of my money.” Even though he had opened the door already — and it was late at night — he continued to talk.

“Go to school if you wish, eat everything you want and can afford, get into trouble, sleep outdoor every day, and do whatever you want without someone watching you from behind. However, I don’t want to see you by my doorstep anymore. Live the life, you’ve been aiming for, as you wished. Live the life of the miserable, but don’t come back to me when you realize the hardships, you’re going through.”

Without waiting for an answer, he walked in. Kwan, the driver, following him from behind; and that was it. The door was closed for forever. Him being this serious was quite unnatural. Taehyung had heard harsh words from his father before, but not such actions. Taehyung poorly thought it was his imagination, only, that had gone wild.

He turned around, questioning every little thing. He wasn’t yet sure if he was supposed to cry or not. His father was emotionless, so was he supposed to be like that, too? Was he supposed to be like his father and try to hurt him by it? Just so they could try to feel the same way?

Taehyung felt like going in, although he couldn’t. He felt like ignoring his father’s words and act as if it was a day like every other day. However, when you were arrogant, you just didn’t want to go back apologizing. You wanted that other person to apologize first, unfortunately. You didn’t want a no right in the face — that was why it turned out as it did. But, what if both of them were arrogant? What if it’d sadly continue because of that? What if there wasn’t a happy ending — and if it was all because of them? There were so many reasons for why it ended like this — and for why it even started.

He looked at his phone. There were no messages at all. Not even a useless one as ‘hi.’ Not even one that asked ‘how are you?’ It felt like everyone had left him. Even Hanah who used to only cause trouble. Even the students whose names he didn't know.

Jungkook thought that it’d be better to leave his best friend, Kim Taehyung, like this, so he had more time for everything that apparently mattered. But, what he didn’t know was that it’d only get harder and tougher. At times like this, a best friend by your side was extremely necessary. It was the most important.

After slowly walking away from the house Taehyung used to call home he was here on the street, trying to find a new home. It was hard to, though, because of the emptiness. No one, other than the homeless, was on the street. He obviously knew where to go, but how could he? How could he go to the one who’d do everything for him, and tell him that he had just been kicked out? It’d only get mixed up, that way. Jeon Jungkook who was living in a tent was already enough. But him, living in a tent with his best friend as a guest would be too much. More than they could endure.

He walked down the street, looking at the things that made the memories appear. He barely wanted to think of them, slowly disappearing. One by one, they faded away. Tears were there, too. Even Jungkook’s face was there, on the night sky, with mixed emotions. Was he sad, happy or upset? Taehyung couldn’t tell. He couldn’t even tell if it was from the past or not.

He suddenly turned around. The only place that could save him at the moment was the exhausting school. He could go there. He could sleep by the many trees — or even by the children's playground. He could wait till the early morning where he could go in with tiring eyes. He’d try to see Jungkook for a second; even if he wasn’t there to be seen. His mind would only be filled with:

‘Where are you? What are you doing?’ That’d be the only question, that needed to be answered. Nothing else, like studying, was important.

He looked at his phone again:

‘No messages.’

Even though he was told not to, he did it. He texted him whom had forbidden him to do so. He barely cared about the meaning of his upcoming replies — answers. Just Jungkook replied was the most important. Just he used a dot or a letter at least.

Taehyung sat down on the bench by the trees at school. There were cherry blossoms everywhere. Spring was, in the end, the season where nearly everyone blossomed. A spring where everyone had pride, where they found happiness and were happy. This spring was quite unusual, though. Something he used to wish wouldn’t occur again.

His fingers moved from the upper-right corner of the screen to the other.

‘Selfishness: What is that? I’ve had it before and still have some. But, seeing someone close to me have it seems so wrong. It’s like you can give someone a disease without even trying.’

A senior walked by.

‘That’s why I'm afraid of staying in the same position. I don’t want them to end up like me; because of me.’

The senior strangely looked back at Taehyung, then continued to walk, opening the door to the school. Taehyung had never expected someone to come at this time. Wasn’t it too early? Why come when he could go to a café instead? If he really wanted to be outdoor, that is. If he really wanted to leave the warm household and stay the same:

Busy as ever.

The night had went by very fast. Like the feeling of a time lapse video. The night went by with a weird whisper in the forest, and a tragic nightmare in the main time. Those nightmares affected you quite a lot after its visit in your mind. Just seeing the person whom was a part of it made you shiver inside. Sometimes it continued for days, weeks — for a few; for the rest of their lifetime. Those few couldn’t even look someone in the eyes. They couldn’t even do daily chores like going to work or having a usual conversation with the neighbor next door.

Although there were more than thirty minutes till the first class would start, a bunch of people had already come. Back and forth, Taehyung stared at them, sitting on the swing he had been sleeping on, too. He barely knew any of them. Their faces seemed familiar from class, but he had no idea of what their names were. They all wore the same uniform, they all had the same hair color — either black or dark brown — so he had a hard time recognizing any of them. Jungkook was different, though:

His hair was brown after he accidentally used someone else’s shampoo — or rather, permanent hair color — in the swimming class. His look didn’t completely tell: ‘That guy’s homeless’ because of that incident a year ago. His face did neither immediately tell that he was from Incheon or Seoul. He even said that he couldn’t remember his birthplace after an incident on the playground when he was a child. Sadly. That even made Taehyung question, how we could find out. What surprised him the most was that Jungkook never asked his father. He should be able to ask him about anything, right? About his past, his mother, his younger brother, he could even ask about his birthplace or origin.

Taehyung’s head shook from side to side — left to right. He constantly tried to see if he could find Jeon Jungkook in the crowd of people, making his head spin. Jungkook would usually come to his best friend in an instant, but today was different. Today was filled with sadness. After yesterday’s words, Taehyung questioned if he’d even come to say how happy they were as one. Unlike Taehyung, Jungkook would focus on studying, while Taehyung would ignore it all and look for him instead.

Taehyung suddenly saw Hanah: A girl who was complaining about every little thing. Apparently; a bad girl.

He immediately called for her without hesitating. She was on her phone as usual. It was nothing unexpected. She probably knew where Jungkook was. Even if she disliked him. Even if she didn’t care. At least, she probably knew if he was sick. She’d have noticed. It was like Taehyung had given herthe duty to know his surroundings and health. She wasn’t a part of that contract, though.

“Hanah—” it was somewhat weird to call for her and not Jungkook. Just yelling her name seemed strange.

People were weirdly staring at Taehyung; and then at her. Looking at their expressions, he could tell what they were thinking:

‘Is Kim Taehyung, the good-looking, rich and gentle guy, really talking with someone like her?’

Their thoughts would be filled with: ‘Are they dating?’

Her eyes met his. He randomly scanned her look: A clean uniform with a short skirt, that only the rich would wear. Brushed, long, straight hair. A thin layer of makeup. Socks, that showed the fact that she cared about fashion. An expensive bag that made everyone ask about her position in society. Indeed that was Choi Hanah. To think that Jungkook had talked to her before. They were too different to even live in the same world. It was like one of them needed to leave the planet, Earth, and go to the planet of the aliens instead. That person who had to leave was most likely Hanah. Taehyung was sure of that.

“Have you seen him—Jungkook?” He impatiently waited for an answer like: ‘He’s waiting for you’ or ‘He’s coming soon.’ He wanted that answer, but couldn’t always get what he wanted. Especially not from the person you disliked, and who disliked you back, too.

“How should I know…?” She didn’t even hesitate for once.

“Why should I care about him whom I haven’t talked to since a year ago?” Taehyung could hear how abnormal her voice sounded. It told that she wasn’t lying, but that she was neither telling the truth. Something was kind of wrong. Some of her words were probably replaced by lies, while some stayed in the sentences.

She turned around and didn’t look back. The wind made her face covered in brown hair. It felt like she was going to turn around again and confess. It felt like she wanted to tell the truth, if there even was something called truth.

If even lies existed in her.

Taehyung constantly took his phone out of his pocket, checking if Jungkook even said his so-called good mornings.

Since Taehyung’s message box was all empty, he decided to make his best friend’s full, instead. Class was starting in ten minutes so he needed to know whether he was coming or not.

He wanted to send something that was as short as possible He didn’t know what to write, though. Everything had become so awkward since yesterday’s memories. The moment, Jungkook told himself not to get involved with Kim Taehyung’s business, made Taehyung at a loss for words. It made him ask himself if this really was reality. If it really was supposed to happen. If they really were where they are today. If he really ended up on the streets without even a coin. If this Taehyung — who used to have all the money, the power and control — really needed his father at the moment. If this Taehyung really wanted to have every human-being on his side. If he really had become this weak — and even in front of everyone he was standing face to face with.

‘What are you doing? Hurry up! School’s starting…’ he had to think of something, that sounded as natural as possible. But, it was harder than he thought.

‘Delete.’

And he started from the beginning again. He had to think of at least one word, that could express everything.

‘I’ve something to say,’ a method to make Jungkook appear. ‘Let’s meet up.’

He just had to come, even if Taehyung had to use an excuse as: ‘I’m in the hospital’ or ‘I broke m