dear whoever you are,

 

no, i am not specifically addressing this letter to anyone. and for you who might read this letter without any of my concern (my two previous letter got stolen by tiffany unnie, so this letter might be stolen by her as well), i believe you will find out to whom exactly this letter supposed to be addressed to just by reading the first sentence, a half of this letter, or after you finished reading everything. 

 

but anyway, like what i've said before, i am not specifically addressing this letter to anyone. probably i write this for myself. who knows? i let you to assume all the possible recipients by yourself.

 

 

just so you know,

 

i am the clouds floating in the sky, i am the lights guiding your path exiting the darkness, i am the air that you breath, i am the one who won't let your mind resting in peace because it thinks about me all the time, i am the cause of your insanity, and i am what you think i am. i could be the who steals your boyfriend or all your crushes away unintentionally, just because, i am much better than you; i could be the angel who loves to save one's life, or probably your life, just because i think you worth saving for; i could be the best of the best-friends you have ever had; i could be that girlfriend you never think you could be ended up with; and i could be that one and only person you love the most in this world, as well as i could be that one and only person you hate the most.

 

i could be anything you want me to be. i am everything you think i am. it doesn't matter about what i am thinking about myself. you are the one who formed me, so it is your choice to think who i am exactly.

 

 

dear whoever you are,

 

mycroft holmes' once said to his brother, sherlock, at one of the scenes of Sherlock's series (i love that series very much), "all lives end. all hearts are broken. caring is not an advantage, sherlock". I disagreed with him this whole time but right now i am in any second to believe it. i am getting tired to care about anything, most of them leads to a heartbreak. i know pain is inevitable, pain is just a simple compromise (paramore said that). then how if it is already taking its toll on you? you think yourself can bear it for the rest of your life? well, i think i can. but then again, isn't it better to reduce the pain as minimal as it can be, rather than let it rules your entire life in the future?

 

and you might then ask me, "how will you reduce the pain?" and i will confidently say, "by stop caring." it is as simple as that, at least for me. 

 

you can bashed me for that. go on, i won't mind you. you're the one who formed me, remember? then go, go give me all the hates in the world, i promise i won't say anything. just exactly like what i did regarding to anything that had happened to whom i was surrounded by in the past. 

 

 

the past,

 

hell yeah, i almost forgot about the fact that people can come with or without saying 'hello' and go with or without saying 'goodbye' from one's life. i almost forgot that the existence of some people can be just in one's past. they can leave forever from your life but they will remain there in your history. you can't erase the fact they had ever been there in your life, even though they are already long forgotten by you. and sometimes, it .

 

well it ,

 

when a person who used to be close to you, vanished in a blink of an eye and then they are back, like a person who just regained his or her consciousness without remembering anything that had ever happened in his/her life, not even remember that he or she used to know you or realized that you once existed (and actually still exist) in his/her life.

 

no, no. i don't blame that person, of course. it wasn't his or her fault. it is just that, it . it when my relationship with anyone, with or without romantically involved, is ended by a one-sided agreement; without me getting the chance to acknowledge what exactly is going on. and it become more dreadful when the cause of it, is actually nothing to do with me. f***k everything. 

 

ups sorry, i can't hold myself for writing that words. it intentionally slides from my hand.

 

 

oh dear whoever you are,

 

i never hate you. i never hate anyone, really. i don't hate anyone because i don't want anyone to hate me. but guess what? sometimes the thing you most want does not happen, and sometimes the thing you never expected happen to us. of course, i quoted that from jake gyllenhaal's lines in the movie i can't remember what the name was. but it's true, anyway.

 

i truly apologize if i ever be that person who forget about your existence in my life. i am sorry, i really am. and i already forgive you, if you ever be the person who forget about my existence in your life, even if it is just for a second. people make mistakes, so do I and you too. i understand, completely understand. i learn and unlearn a lot, from the things happen in my life. 

 

you are my best teacher, my favorite lesson, and the best thing i've ever experienced.

 

i love you and i care about you. I will always do that smart-and-also-stupid things just for you, for whom it may (or it may not) concern.

 

 

yours truly,

im yoona.

i love you and i care about you too. i never forget about your existence, not even just for a second , in my life.  but you know we need to live that way for a moment, right? you're precious to me, im yoona. remember that.