Dear You Who Found Comfort In Silence,

 

I was assigned as your roommates, together with Sooyoung, when the company announced that we were going to debute as a girl group together with the other seven: Girls' Generation.  The company even asked —chose you to be our leader, and I swore I saw your eyes widen in shocked. The others seemed to not notice it, since they were busy clapping their hands and congratulating you, but I did.  I just let it slipped, believed that you were just shocked from the sudden announcement.

 

As the years passed by, we were getting closer to each other, and I learned more about you. I learned that you like to do sleep-talking, and how dorky you can be when you are around the people you're closed to. I also learned that you are also as introvert as I am, like to keep the problems within ourselves, enjoying the solitude above anything else.

 

And also as the years passed by, I learned that it is your nature for not liking to talk or involve in a long conversation with others. Either you find the topics uninteresting or you don't understand what they talk about; or maybe, you're afraid that you would say something that would only make the conversation goes awkward (Jessica unnie has that kind of effect, though), I couldn't tell.  You're also the type who don't like to open up a conversation first, unless you want to --or you find the urge to.  

 

Just like me.

 

At first, I admitted that I was bothered with your incapability to open up a conversation.  And surprisingly, we often got trap together in some moments where there were just you and I, both of us only.  Of course, none of us bother to talk first.  

 

I was actually waiting for you to speak, since you were older than me, and I respected you the most, but you never did.  So, often times I excused myself to leave your side, escaped myself from the awkward moment between us. Often times I was the one who broke the silence, with some crappy topics that you might found it ridiculous but still, you replied to everything I said with that beautiful voice of yours.  

 

I silently thanked you for your effort to listen and even replied to my nonsenses, and started to like being around you as I slowly found the comfort in between our silence.

 

 

Dear You Who Found Comfort In Silence,

 

That day was the day I finally realized how fragile you actually were, despite of your capability to hide your problems perfectly in the way you always tried to act strong in front of us. I wasn't a stupid one to not notice that heavy burdens you've been carried on your shoulders, that I was a hundred percent sure it was already reached its limit; like a bomb that already met its time to create an explosion.

 

I remembered I found you staring blankly at the TV in our living room, you were probably thinking about that problems of yours (which I was a hundred percent sure that you were). I was debating with myself whether to approach you or not: a part of me said that you needed all the time by yourself, but another part of me said that you needed a companion. After a very long debate, I decided to approach and sit beside you, silently hoped that my existence didn't bother you that much.

 

And once again the space between us filled by silence. But that time I realized that it was a comforting one.  It always had, I admitted. That was when I finally understood that behind the silence, you found comfort. You found yourself drown into the comfort space the silence offered for you, and anyone who sought for one. When you finally talked to me like a person who was running out of time,  talking about that problems of yours, I also finally realized that I had that kind of effect to let you spilled that heavy burdens of yours to me.  

 

It wasn't your nature to talk about your problems to anyone like what I had mentioned above, but seemed like you enabled yourself to talk freely to me. And I would like to believe that it was because I really had that special effect on you.

 

Dear You Who Found Comfort In Silence,

 

As for now, it is like a ritual for us, every time you find me alone or vice versa.  We will always approach each other and let the silence drown us into its comfort space. I know you enjoy doing it very much. They said that happiness is twice when you share it with others, probably you are just doing the same to me: share the comfort you feel with me, and you feel the comfort doubled.

 

Thank you for sharing it with me.  I'm honored that I'm the only person that you let to share with. Or that's what I would like, would love, to believe.

 

With love,

The One Who Also Found Comfort In Silence.