“Before we moved to this school, we were in high school, at our hometown. And Taeyeon and I have always been best friends, since we were both little kids. She told me everything, I told her everything, you know, like best friends do.

And... Naturally, she told me stuff about love. Like when she started dating. She had fallen for Kangin, an ex-classmate of ours. And Kangin fell for her too. So they started dating. I was happy for them.

They were really sweet. And they always went out together. Went on dates together. Went to eat together, even in school during lunch. I was really, really happy that Taeyeon had found her other half.

But as the days started to pass, I realized that I wasn’t happy at all. I tried to be, but I wasn’t. How could I have been happy in the least bit, when they were a couple and they were together all the time, and I, as her best friend, felt obliged to stay away? Yes, I did feel left out.

But that wasn’t everything. Because when we both first met Kangin, she wasn’t the only one who fell for him. I did, too. That’s why it hurt so much. And I told myself, Taeyeon’s my best friend, I could go to her if I had any problems, but no. How could I bear to open my mouth if I knew this would ruin Taeyeon’s happiness?

I couldn’t say anything, and I couldn’t do anything. I just hoped that I would stop feeling so unhappy about this, and start being genuinely happy for them. But…”

When Yuri finished, she could manage as much as a sigh, because unknowingly, the tears had fallen.

Jaejoong could only feel an inch of what Yuri felt, but he knew it had hurt. Loneliness had hurt Yuri.

And he finally understood why Yuri was against him doing this.

“Yuri-ah…” he called out, gaining her attention so she would look up at him through those reddened eyes.

Jaejoong didn’t just see a sad Yuri – one who was sad because her memories were sad. He saw a fragile girl who used to be so lonely, but she could not tell anyone about it either. He saw the girl who went through that sort of pain, while trying her best to be happy for her best friend. And above any sort of sympathy he had for her, he was truly grateful.

“Thank you, Yuri.”

= = =

Yunho paced down the hallway of the school. If it was that obvious, everyone saw the lack of a glow he had. He used to always keep a smile on, no matter what had happened, but now he was like a walking ghost. Dead, almost dead.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw who he had wanted to see.

“Yoona!”

But once the girl heard him call out her name, she fled.

“Hey! Yoona!”

Yunho sighed as he watched her leave.

And as for her? Tears were already threatening to flow out of those eyes.

= = =

After school, Yunho was waiting outside the school for her.

He spent a weekend thinking things over. Now he needed to talk to her. Or, at least, tell her something.

But there she was, avoiding him like nobody’s business.

An hour into waiting, he decided that this was going to go nowhere.

He headed back into school and went straight to the classrooms. And he finally found her.

She heard the familiar footsteps coming around the corner, and as she looked up, she found him already barging into her empty classroom. She cursed under her breath and thought it best to flee, but she had no way to. He shut the door as he entered, giving her no chance to escape.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he ordered.

She buried her head into her hands. “Please go.”

“Yoona, I may not have known you for long, but I know what you’re trying to do. Please hear me out.”

“No, please just go.”

“Yoona—“

“Do you really want to stay here?”

“I just need you to listen—“

“Fine. Let’s break up. Will that get you to go?” After finishing this statement, she looked up. Her eyes were red. Her face was damp.

Yunho stared at her, expression still unreadable.

“No, Yoona. No, that will not get me to go. And no, I will not break up with you.”

“I don’t have any face to see you,” she admitted, breaking down.

“Then close your eyes. I just need you to listen to me. Please. Shutting me out and running away from the matter won’t change anything.”

= = =

As Junsu sat down on the couch, he took out his phone and prepared to call Yuri.

He didn’t actually have anything to say to her, but he did need to check on Jaejoong.

And then his phone rang instead.

“… Taeyeon?”

“Oh, Junsu. I wanted to ask you something.”

“What—What is it?”

“It’s about Jaejoong. He’s been acting weirdly lately. Did… Did something happen to him?”

“O-Of course not. I… don’t think so.”

“It’s weird, you know. He’s been acting weirdly ever since that day we were supposed to have our date. And then he just failed to show up and stuff.”

“Uh… Yeah. I can help you ask him if anything’s wrong.”

“Cool, thanks a lot.”

“You’re welcome.”

He set his phone down and tousled his hair up. This was headache-inducing.

= = =

When Yoona stopped making any advances to get out of the conversation with him, Yunho grabbed a chair and settled in, positioning himself opposite her.

“Seulong gave me a call that day. He told me that you knew everything now. I was wondering what he was talking about. Because, like you, Yoona, I didn’t know anything as well.”

Yoona gave him a quick glance before turning back to her table.

“I told him I didn’t know anything. He was speechless. So I went to ask my father. And then I realized that there was a lot more to my life that I didn't know anything about.” He sighed. “As much as I would have wanted to know the full truth, I would much rather be kept in the dark for all my life than be dropped a bombshell like this.”

She nodded slightly, acknowledging his words.

“And then I told my father that you didn’t know anything, at least not until your brother told you everything on that day. They realized that they made a mistake. And so did your brother.”

Yunho let the silence take over for a while, having nothing more to say until she responded. And she did, looking up at him while doing so. “We made a mistake too. I caused your mother’s death, and you fell in love with me… Your parents were right to object to our relationship, I can’t be with you, not after knowing that I caused—“

“You didn’t cause anything, Yoona! You… You didn’t. It was an accident.”

“But I was the cause of the accident! We should listen to your parents and my brother. We can’t be together—“

“They objected because they thought we were on a mission to hurt each other! They thought that you would come after me, since my mother’s dead, because you got a limp as a result of my mother’s carelessness! But then your brother thought that I would come after you, because you were an indirect cause to my mother’s suicide! But none of those are true, Yoona! None of it is true… None.”

Yoona stood up just as he finished, picking up her bag. Yunho stared, trying his best to resist pulling her back.

“How do you expect me to accept the fact that your mother died with me as an indirect cause – whether it was an accident or not – and still be with you?” She asked, her voice too soft to be heard. But Yunho heard it perfectly well. He looked at her, quiet. She looked back, but not for long, then she opened , resisting the temptation of letting the tears fall. “If you’re not saying anything, then I’m leaving.” She took off.

She had willed her legs to take her as far as they could. The more she thought about it, the harder it was for her to accept reality.

She did have feelings for Yunho. He was a nice guy, a perfect guy. But why did it have to end up like this? As much as she had wanted to be in a happy relationship with him, she couldn’t do it. No one was there to tell her that it was okay, that she can jump straight into his arms and just hug him quietly, that she can still be with him. Because what had happened in the past had an impact, and this impact still lasted till today.

So now, she was running away. She had to. Until everything could tide over and Yunho could, perhaps, forget her. Until then, she would just run away, and cry if need be, and just try to feel better…

Suddenly, she felt someone pull her back. That strong grip around her right arm was unmistakable. She told herself to ignore it, to just keep running, but she wasn’t moving anymore. She was stuck there, just because Yunho had held her back.

“Let me go, Yunho…”

“If I let go of your arm right now, it’d be akin to letting you slide away like a coward. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

“Yunho, do you not understand? Do you not understand what’s going on? Do you not understand why we can’t be together?”

“Yes, Yoona. I don’t understand. But what I don’t understand is why you’re acting like this. Where’s the bright Yoona I once knew? The one who smiled at everything, whether it was good or bad? The one who made me see what love is, the one who would never run away from hardship?”

“It’s your mother I’m talking about!”

“My mother has passed on already! Her death wasn’t caused by you. It was a suicide. She chose to leave us because she was upset and tired of the pain in her life. Her life was once beautiful, you know? Then she realized that things don’t actually go her way all the time. She was scarred by the reality that hit her. And all that happened before your accident. Her husband was to blame, but I don’t want to hold a grudge against my father. Therefore I’m not blaming anybody. If you run away now and stop acknowledging my existence, that would be what my mother can blame you for. For deserting her son even when you know he loves you.”

Yoona turned. She took her arm out of his grasp. Letting her bag hit the floor, she stepped forward. Then she reached out and hugged him.

= = =

With a new glow to his face, he opened the door to their apartment, expecting to find his best friend there. But the apartment was empty. Or was it?

…So maybe it wasn’t, as Junsu stepped out of the kitchen, making eye contact with Jaejoong. Then Junsu shifted away slightly awkwardly. “Um, Taeyeon asked if you were okay.”

Jaejoong exhaled and threw his backpack onto the couch. “I need to talk to you.”

“If it’s about relaying the message to Taeyeon, I can tell her you’re okay… Or something.” He had his back towards Jaejoong, downing the coffee in his cup while staring against the white wall like a kid during punishment.

Jaejoong plopped down on the couch. “No, I need to talk to you. Like you, Junsu. You.”

Junsu placed the coffee cup on the kitchen counter reluctantly, because he was letting go of his only distraction. Then he slid over to the couch and sat, a few seats away from Jaejoong. “Okay.”

Jaejoong leaned forward, a tense expression on his face. “It’s about Taeyeon. But it’s not about the relaying of the message.”

Junsu ruffled his hair up, looking the other way. “Uh, okay, go on.”

“I can’t… I mean, you know what I did the other day. I can’t like Taeyeon anymore. I can’t like Taeyeon knowing that my best friend since childhood does too.”

Junsu’s head turned, sharply, in Jaejoong’s direction. What?

Jaejoong cleared his throat, his tone softening. “I’ve been getting the better end of things ever since we became friends. I can’t take this away too. But don’t think of it as a sacrifice. We’re all going through puberty… We’ll always find new people to have a crush on.”

Junsu shook his head. “No. What are you saying? I can’t… I mean… I can’t like her because… I mean, look at you. You’re so miserable now. How can I do that?”

Jaejoong forced a goofy smile out and turned to Junsu’s direction. “Nah, look at me! This is a bright smile. I’m happy!”

Junsu brushed that off. “No jokes now, Jaejoong.”

“I’m not joking. You got it wrong. I wasn’t miserable because I knew I had to let her go. I was miserable because I realized that you had kept this from me for ages. And I was… I was more guilty than miserable, you see.”

“You were being a total zombie in school!”

“That was an act to try and convince Taeyeon that she shouldn’t like a dude like me. I mean, even if you guys aren’t going through puberty, I’m pretty sure I still am. I’ll always be attracted to new girls as time goes by.”

“You’re talking as though you already got attracted to another girl…”

Jaejoong reddened, thinking about that other girl from earlier on. “No, I’m not attracted to another girl… It’s probably because I learned something today. I grew up again. Kim Jaejoong version 2.0.”

Junsu stared at him with a worried expression, trying to make eye contact. “What happened just now? You really sound like you’ve changed or something…”

Jaejoong grinned. “I realized that, other than Taeyeon, there are other girls equally as beautiful in their own ways. And right in front of us, there’s another girl who’s beautiful in her own way.”

Junsu listened and tilted his head in confusion. “What…?”

“But you think Taeyeon’s beautiful already! It’s been that way from the start, and it still is that way, right? So just ignore what I’m saying!”

“You have a crush on another girl, don’t you?”

“No!”

“Who is it?”

“Not going to tell you!”

“So there’s another girl? I’m right?”

“I’m not going to tell you, Junsu!”

“You gave yourself away!”

Jaejoong threw the cushion in his best friend’s face. “Go away!” Then he stood up and ran into his bedroom.

Junsu laughed. Whatever’s happened to that boy… I don’t know.

But thank you, Kim Jaejoong, for doing what you did for your best friend.