Title: Five Husbands in a Wedding || pairing: xiuharem || rating: pg-16 || chapter 1

Xiumin is completely awake now. She gapes like a fish in front of the five men and looks at them one by one.

The first one was a short guy who’s eyes is so wide it almost looks like it’s going to pop out of its sockets. Though, that maybe a part of his charm because instead of looking like a creep, he actually looks cute. Beside him is a caramel colored hair dude who looks like some prissy diva. For a moment Xiumin thought he’s gay (like her brother) but his broad shoulder and slightly manly features contradicted that thought (but who knows, right?)

Then there’s the tallest out of the bunch. He looks like that cute and attractive jock girls drool over. The only that stands out is that ears of his that’s sticking out under his raven hair. Beside him is what seems to be the prettiest girl – ahem – man that Xiumin’s ever seen in her life. Like legit pretty that it suddenly made her feel insecure about her looks. Though the thighs were built like a horse and there seems to be some kind of a manly aura reeking over him.

And then there’s this Casanova looking guy whose arm is blocking her way so that she couldn’t escape. He’s tanned and a bit muscular, silver hair and all that macho stuff that make girls’ fall.

Xiumin frowns. And they’re telling her that she’s married to them?

“What’s with the face, love?” Mr. Casanova wiggles his brows. “You don’t have to look so troubled. It was a good thing that I’m here now, because you know,” he lifts a finger and caresses her jaw. “From now on, my job is to wipe your troubles –“

“Okay!” The wide-eyed cutie interrupts by shoving Mr. Casanova away by the chest, making said guy take a few steps back. “That’s enough, thank you. Clearly you’re making my wife uncomfortable.”

“Yah, yah. She’s my wife too, you know.” The giant growls.

The pretty one sighs. “You all are crazy, I swear.”

“Obviously.” The diva harrumphs. “Because she’s my wife not yours.”

“Okay, enough!” Xiumin waves her hands in an attempt to shut them up. She sighs. “Can we please talk inside? My neighbors are probably ting me right now because of the racket you all are making so can we please, please settle down?”

The five looked at each other before settling their gaze towards Xiumin, who was already dragging herself inside the flat without even waiting for them to come.

“We’re really sorry for the trouble.” The wide-eyed cutie bows his head in apology, a cup of tea wrapped around his fingers. “By the way, my name is Do Kyungsoo. I’m a biology professor teaching in SM University.”

The diva raised his hand. “Mine’s Byun Baekhyun. I’m a singer.”

Xiumin furrowed her brows. “A singer?”

“A rising singer, mind you.” Baekhyun raised a brow and then smirked. “Trust me, you’ll fall for me even more if you heard me sing.”

“Aish, a rising headache, you mean.” Before Baekhyun could complain, the giant waves a hand to Xiumin and flashes her a half-smile. “Park Chanyeol. Professional basketball player. My team’s EXO and –“

“The team who lost the championships to Shinee.” Baekhyun clicked his tongue in mock dismay, shooting Chanyeol a smug smirk. “That’s too bad.” Chanyeol grits his teeth at the diva, which the latter responded with a tongue out. Before another fight ensues between the duos, the pretty one raises a hand between them to stop whatever they’re doing.

“My name’s Lu Han, but people call me Luhan. I’m 26 and I love food. I own a restaurant back in Beijing and two branches here in South Korea. I hope to get to know you more, Xiumin.” He smiles and Minseok swoons. At least there’s somebody here (along with the wide-eyed cutie) that’s sane to talk to.

“Stop stealing the spotlight, man.” The tanned hottie clicks his tongue and looks at Xiumin seductively. Xiumin clears uncomfortably at the way he looks at her. “The name’s Kim Kai and I’m a…” He leans forward on where he is sitting making Xiumin gulp hard. “…dancer.”

“A-A dancer, you say?”

“Yes, love.” Kai smirks. “A dancer.”

“O-Oh. T-That’s…” Xiumin laughs uneasily. “Nice.”

“Umm… we’re actually here to settle this dispute between the five of us.” Kyungsoo fumbles with his fingers, suddenly feeling shy when the attention was all on him. “You know, after what happened between us in Vegas, I admit that I really have no idea what happened.”

Xiumin froze. “Wait, Vegas?”

Kyungsoo looks at the other four before looking at Xiumin, blinking twice. “U-Uh, yeah. Vegas.”

Xiumin looks at the five men one by one once again before settling her gaze back at Kyungsoo. “You mean, wait.” She clamps her eyes shut and raised a finger. “Don’t tell me…” She opens her eyes and looks at them with wide eyes. “Please don’t tell me I married you all in Las Vegas.”

The five men looked at each other then back at her and then nodded. Xiumin stares at them in disbelief. She stood up abruptly, startling all of them. “Wait, there must be some kind of a mistake here.” She began to pace back and forth. “I’m not the only one drunk, I’m sure of it! I swear, this is all just a drunken mistake.” She laughs nervously. “Right?”

Once again, the five men looked at each other then back at her. Luhan raised his hand, a little uneasy before speaking. “I just wanted to clarify that I’m completely sober on that particular day.”

Baekhyun nodded thoughtfully. “Me, too.”

“Same.” Chanyeol shrugs.

“I don’t know. I think I was completely drunk.” Jongin wiggles his brows. “In love.”

Kyungsoo sighs and drags a hand down his face. “To fall simply short, we were all sober on that day. Maybe, except for you? But to be honest, I didn’t know you were drunk then. You were all words and – for the first time in my life, I actually talked to someone with a lot of sense.”

Xiumin groans. “That’s my drunken self talking, actually. I usually make a lot of sense whenever I’m drunk compared to when I’m sober.”

Kyungsoo blinks twice. “Oh.”

Xiumin resumes pacing back and forth, hands covering . “Oh god. Oh god. Okay, so what? I married all of you in one single ceremony? Isn’t that considered as polygamy? Isn’t that against the law or something?” She gasped. “Oh god, am I going to jail?!”

“No, no… I don’t think so.” Chanyeol was the one who answered now, leaning back and settling his arms on the couch. Baekhyun frowns at him and bits back his tongue on saying any insults. “It was just you and me and two of my buddies present in the wedding. And oh! The officiator. I remember it was sometime around 8’oclock.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo raised his brows. “We got married around 6:30 in the evening. I even remember you asking for a bottle of champagne then.”

“W-Wait,” Xiumin’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“10’oclock.” Luhan pipes in. “We got married at 10’oclock. I wanted it to be traditional but you wanted to get married right away so we ended up getting married at that casino near the hotel I’m staying at.”

“Good for you.” Baekhyun drawls. “It was around 11, I think, that we got married. You even vomited on my shoes when things were about to get heated.” He curls his lower lip into a pout. “And then after you went to the bathroom, you –“

“You disappeared!” Kai exclaims, hands on his head. “You suddenly disappeared on me! It was around 1 in the morning when we got married. I was so as and here I thought we’re going straight to the honeymoon, but no. You suddenly disappeared!” Kai lets out a frustrated sigh. “I remember now. I should be mad at you for leaving me with a raging !”

After that, chaos ensued. Baekhyun started to point out Chanyeol’s irritating behavior. Kyungsoo began to judge Kai and his dirty occupation and how inappropriate it is (but he’s really just mad at being touchy feely with Xiumin.) Luhan was sitting there with legs crossed and fingers plugged in his ear as he sings a song with an off-key tune. The sight made Xiumin slump on the chair, exhausted.

2:30 a.m.

So ing early for this.

a/n: some requests will take too long to make because it’s still on draft status. That’s all. Complain all you want, I don’t care. (bow) – master coconut