hi ^^<br />
you have a really good plot and the suspence is working quite well, however you need to work on your grammar and spelling. it may not seem as obvious, but if you misspell words, forget to capitalize the first letter of a new sentence or use confusing grammar, it breaks up the story for the reader and it ruins the effect of the plot. another point to work on would probably be how quickly it moves along. the fact that her grandmother had a funeral the day after she died seems a little strange and puts off the rest of the chapter.<br />
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im sorry for being so picky but i still hope it helps > <"

Thanks, Frozen. ^^

Thanks! But I can't update now. my laptop are just... gah! I hate my laptop.. Im sorry.. But I'll update soon! no worries! ^^

This fic is actually good! keep it up! :)Update too ^^