☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

HyunAh was sitting on the large window in her room, watching waves crashing the shore a far. Clear blue sky’s soaring energies inspired inner peace inside her heart. Though the pen had rested long between her fingers, she still felt of standing in the surf of a great ocean, was distanced from the visible sandy shore.

“As the golden pentacles shaped the symbol of infinity

You and I, we met by chance

But with a tranquil expression, we juggling them good, didn’t we?

The deep blue I dived into, not knowing what lies ahead

‘cause I am searching with curtains down.

Will you fill the empty crystal cup in my trembling hands by your heart?

or should I loose it for a transparent serenity?

The crimson threads, dyed by blood were sewed under my pale skins

‘Till the day that red liquid is run out

Will the performers feel tired and let the pentacles be embraced by emerald vines?

... in that thick purple fog, my silver wings might be shattered.”

A hand snatched out her paper but HyunAh still gathered herself in the same position as if it’s the wind’s hand.

The haha sound behind her was muted and once again the only sound was aching sob of the wind and waves. Didn’t know how long had passed, the figure settled it down next to her, both immersed in deep silence. Over 10 years together, life threw into them enough curves to sense other’s emotions without expressing by words. They just felt it, as simple as breathing.

“HyunAh... tell him.” - JiHyun softly said.

A feeling of dread washed over her as she spoke - “I don’t wanna be my mother’s mirror.”

“The answer was already in here.” - JiHyun put the tip of her index finger right one the spot where her closed friend’s heart calmly resided underneath. Hesitantly but firmly, she said - “You want to love and be loved. You know it, don’t you?”

And HyunAh’s hand was enclosed in her friend’s comfortingly. They sat together in a long, long time. Whispers was floating in the air.

.

..

...

If you asked HyunSik one question about HyunAh, without a doubt that you couldn’t even interrupt his passionate speech about how wonderful she was. They had known each other in over 10 years when they were kids, laughing and joking around innocently. And he couldn’t remember if the door between their yard had been closed in any day during those beautiful years; until the day that bliss had grown teeth, the day he had seen that tall and arrogant Jang HyunSeung was standing in her house as her fiancé. The things had ensued like any plot in random business story, they had got married and never lived happy ever after, at least he had thought so.

“HyunAh, why do you have to do it? If this marriage involves with business, then isn’t it that your sisters are more suitable than you? They love things with numbers and money and... BUT YOU ARE NOT!!!”

The girl in her white dress didn’t respond to his angry shouting as if she was not there in the first place. The garden was completely by many shades of green in this beautiful summer, somewhere, maybe here or there, breeze carried soft freshness dancing on her dark night hair-locks.

“Because I am the most suitable...” - Her voice was reduced to the level of whisper.

“I don’t get it.” - He asked.

Sighed heavily, she hesitated in seconds before resuming the unfinished ribbon of words - “This is the way I pay back for them.”

“You don’t have to. Though you’re... your father’s lovechild, it still doesn’t mean you have to 

sacrificed yourself.” - Her kindness was somewhat he admitted that difficult in swallowing it.

“HyunSik... They treated me like... at least like... a member of their family... So...” - The girl kept dragging her words to the sense she felt to sound right for him, no matter how hard for her friend to comprehend it. Sometimes, truth simply was not enough.

The boy fell down next to her, sealed his mouth for he knew nothing could re-sculpt what she already set firmly. The only thing he was able to to for now? Staying with her and wishing for her best.

After a long moment, HyunAh, with eyes still kept on the view afar, said - “I’ll be fine. I’ll live happily with that guy. I know I can.”

Hyunah had been used to be a very noisy girl until the day her mother committed suicide years ago. The event that changed her bright personality for good. Her mother loved her father dearly or she could said crazily and ended up in her own blood after the curtain call. Many guys came to her only to get a brief head shaking for their confession. To HyunAh, love was a sin that drown people into the endless void of dark abyss.

Though HyunSik was well aware of the fact the girl in his dream would never open the treasure chest for anyone but honestly saying, a part of his emerald dream seemed but a shadow when she had embraced him slightly before walking away from his life forever. Kim HyunAh had belonged to Jang HyunSeung, at least on paper.

HyunSik drifted his memories to the old time, tried his best to ignore the sunk heart was calling for more air to beat properly. HyunAh knew it all but she chose to pretend that the acknowledge didn’t reach her. After up and down, they’re still friends.

Tomorrow morning, they would end this short but very happy vacation and backed to boring daily routine; HyunAh backed to that Jang HyunSeung, this time, somehow, according to the paper that Ji Hyun had given to him a while ago, the lock was slightly broken.

.

..

...

HyunSeung was sitting in his office cafeteria but his mind was acting alone by it own will, frantically trying to find the way to ask HyunAh that “Is she tired of running around his head everyday?” For the very first time in his life, the young man didn’t know how to tell a girl that he loved her, that he wanna be with her in both terms of mind and heart. How ironic!

“Hey, man!”

In front of him was a used-to-be baby face Yang YoSeob, his partner and well, his best friend, was smiling warmly as usual.

“What’s up? Drama with Miri again?” - YoSeob asked.

“No.”

“You know. She came to me yesterday, saying that you dumped her and asked me to gain you back.” - Shorter guy narrated the story without emphasizing any note as if the story belonged to someone he only had passed on the street. In fact, YoSoeb showed no sympathy for that girl like he always said; such an annoyed lady, just please stay away from him. Instead, he truly liked the wife-on-paper of his friend that often he joked - “I’ll get her if you guys divorce.”

“Uhm....” - HyunSeung shook the coffee cup slightly in his hand because in this period of time, another lady dominated the whole world he was walking in.

“I said I have no role in her melodrama. Seem I did the right thing.” - YoSeob said, amusingly.

“YoSoeb... How to know that a girl likes you or not?” - The taller asked, his eyes still fixed on the brownie liquid was waving gently.

“Huh?”

“This woman... She’s very special. She can share the same bed with me, having breakfasts with me everyday, sitting with me in silence every time I feel bad, talking with me about topics no other can... even... even... but she is still herself. Calm. Honest. And right at the moment I thought I had her in my arms, her feet was one step backward...”

YoSoeb was looking straight into his friend’s eyes for at last, this stupid realized how amazing she was and although a bit pity, he still felt that’s a good turn-point. Honest - HyunSeung’s eyes were saying.

“HyunAh... is a smart lady. I guess only honesty can poison her heart!” - He said and they both knew it was true.

.

..

...

HyunAh was at home earlier than she expected, no sign of HyunSeung could be found. Strangely, this cold emptiness intrigued a kind of odd loneliness deep down and admitted secretly, this feeling was not easy to embrace as always.

She knew they already had something new inside but speaking it out loud freaked her out madly. This tension made her become vulnerable. Did her heart ready to be hurt someday?

Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, famously said: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." But the truth was, which didn’t kill you, only made you weaker. Like a child who witnessed love always grew teeth if not by this way than another way would come in, how could it turn her into a romance believer? And while living with HyunSeung was joyful, her tainted heart still very, very dark.

Felt like her body needed alcohol to alleviate this headache, HyunAh threw herself to the fridge to discover that her bottle of sparkling wine had been drunk while she was away. Perhaps, HyunSeung got drama again. A faint smirk appeared on her lips when she stared at the bottle, how strange she did not need alcohol as dissolvent for inspiration. Open it up, she drank directly from the bottle gulp by gulp until the bottle was empty and patiently waiting for the heat took place inside out.

Laying down on the soft sofa, thinking about Ji Hyun’s words and before sleep claimed her, HyunAh wondered, courage was another way to describe absolute terror?

.

..

...

HyunSeung opened the door and his heart sank deeply as only darkness said hi. HyunAh should be home but maybe she was not. But when the dim light shone the living room, he saw the figure he longed for the whole time.

Walked slowly to her and kneeling down before her... HyunSeung realized, this pretty face had already imprinted without a notice in his mind. The way she smiles sheepishly, the way she titled her head slightly while hearing, the way she giggled every time they watched a movie together and above all, he loved the way they kept silent in quiet nights that they sat side by side focusing their works...

Gently, his fingers ran through her black hair...

Black hair.

Red lips.

White skin.

How could she possessed all three colors he loved most in such a beautiful harmony?

His touch, though tenderly, still woke her up... as her deep spheres met his, HyunAh realized there were things she couldn’t control. There’re battle she lost. At the end of the day, the only thing we had was people she trusted.

Like a whisper, he asked - “May I kiss you?”

And she answered - “Don't ask permission. If you want to do a thing, do it. Because it is your

desire, not my allowance. You must risk rejection.”

Then the sweetness swam freely in their kiss...

-------

Author’s note: The last dialogue is quote from Penny Dreadful