Lost
The Price of LoveJinyoung entered his house, and it seemed that his parents were away again. As much as he was really used to not having both of them around, right now, he wished he had someone to at least talk to.
He skipped his remaining classes, since most of them were minor subjects. Plus, he wasn’t in the right mind to really be in a class right now. He slowly walked upstairs. Why did his feet feel so heavy?
Once he entered his room, he felt the comfort in an instant. This was his personal place, his safe haven. Even if everyone would leave him, he would have this place. He threw himself to bed, an arm covering his eyes.
He took his mp3, plugging the pair of earphones to his ears. He couldn’t take the silence, it was painful.
What now?
He tried to distract himself. He didn’t want to think about anything, right now. But, it seemed that it was inevitable. He suddenly remembered the image of Mark, how he almost ruined the latter’s life.
No! He shook his head, turning up the music. Stop, please.
But, it wouldn’t stop. It just kept coming. He could remember how crushed Mark was, and how disgusted Jackson was with him.
Please, make it stop. He started covering his ears, but there was no one in the room but him. These were all in his mind, but could he hear them loud and clear? Why could he see the images so clearly?
For a moment, they stopped. He couldn’t see anything anymore. But, that wasn’t the end. The images were never gone, they were just changing.
It was a little blurry a first, but the image mentally materialized. It was Jaebum.
“Hey, Junior!”
But soon, the image started to walk away.
Come back, please.
He opened his eyes, wiping the tears he didn’t notice. He took the earphones off. This had to stop, he couldn’t take it anymore.
He had to do something, about everything.
---
The rays of sunlight felt so perfect against their skin, and the cold water balanced everything out. Things were a lot better because Jackson was with Mark. Loving this boy right here felt like a dream. He had never loved anyone like this, not even Min. He had never felt so much want from someone, the need to be with that person.
He loved Mark so much, to simply put.
“Jackson”
“Yes?”
“Stop staring”
“Why?” He asked, smiling at the other. “I love looking at you.”
“It feels weird, stop.”
He pinched the boy’s cheek. “You’re perfect, Mark.”
“Stop being a cheese ball.”
Again, time was slowing down. And, it couldn’t get any more perfect than this. Every minute of this was just what Jackson wanted, and probably what both of them needed. For once, time was actually with them, helping them to cherish every second they shared.
“Jackson, whatever this is, thank you.”
“What do you mean, Mark?” He kissed the boy’s warm forehead. “It was my pleasure.”
But, he could still feel something from the other. Was that doubt he could see in the boy’s face?
“Mark, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Tell me, please.”
“I’m just still a still a little surprised, mostly overwhelmed. I mean, this was so sudden, that maybe I’m still having a hard time believing that this is actually happening.”
“Well, I guess you could consider this a-“ He stopped, clicking his tongue. “A change of pace”
Mark looked at him with sceptical eyes. Why was this so hard for the other to believe?
“Are you afraid?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why? What are you afraid of?”
He could feel the other’s face digging deeper on his neck. “I’m afraid that this was just a dream, or maybe you’re leaving me.”
“Mark Tuan, I want you to remember this from this day on.” He sat up. “I love you. I love you so much that every single time I would think that I would lose you. Because, I want to be constantly reminded that I am and will always be in love with you.”
Mark finally smiled, that true smile Jackson loved so much.
“Did you get that from a song?”
“I was bored last night, okay? That song inspired me to push through everything, against all odds.”
“What about your grandfather?”
“Honestly, I don’t really know what to say. But, all I know is that we will get through this. We’ll be fine. We’ll be okay. Our love will conquer this.”
He could hear the other boy chuckle, followed by a light smack on his arm. “You’ve been watching too much chick flicks.”
He scoffed, acting that he was offended by the other’s words. “I am not a chick.” He said, in a very girly voice.
“I never said anything about you being or acting like a girl.”
“You know” He hovered above the boy. “If there would be a girl here, it would be you.”
“What are you doing?” The other asked, eyes widening with his actions. “Don’t even think about it.”
Instead of answering, he leaned in, adding a smirk as he did. Mark tried to break free, but to no avail. Jackson was just too bulky and heavy that he knew his lover wouldn’t be able to escape.
“Hey, Jackson! Stop!”
But, he just kept leaning in. He could see his lover close his eyes, and when Mark did, Jackson widely grinned. He planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead, going back to his original place afterwards.
“What the hell was that?” Mark asked. “I hate you!”
“You love me” He said, wrapping his arms around the angry boy. “What? Were you expecting something else?”
It seemed that his question made the other boy embarrassed, considering how flustered Mark was.
“N-n-no!”
“Well, you know, we could always-
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