Chapter 31

Jaebum was kissing him.

And, his mind was going through a roller coaster right now. Why was this even happening, in the first place? He should push the other away. That was the right thing to do. That was the only thing to do. But, why couldn’t he?  

And, it made things worse that a part of him actually felt excited with this. He hated himself for sort of liking this. His mind wanted to push the guy off, but his body couldn’t even respond properly. He had kissed Jackson and Jinyoung. But, this guy here was taking it to a whole new level, a level he had never experienced before. What kind of kiss was this? The kiss continued, and the other’s weight started caving in. Soon, he found himself lying on his back.

Luckily, Jaebum pulled away, but their eyes were still locked. Their breathing was inconsistent. The room felt heavy all of a sudden.

This was his chance to push the other off the bed, but it seemed that his mind decided to turn off temporarily.

Jaebum was leaning in again, who was probably going to kiss him again.

Come on, Tuan. Just push him off the bed. But, it was too late. Their lips met again.

Wait, what was this? Why was Jaebum nibbling on his bottom lip? This caused him to moan, and it felt so wrong. Was he enjoying this, too? The other’s tongue suddenly slid through his parted lips, exploring every inch of his mouth. This was all too new for him.

This had to stop. He wanted to stop this so badly, but everything was just too overwhelming right now.

Even though his mind was a bit blurred right now, he remembered something. Jaebum said something about him being the other’s first love. Was this related to that? Did that mean that his friend liked him, still? No, this was wrong. He had no feelings for JB.

He was about to push the other away, noticing that he the trance he was in was finally broken. But, it was Jaebum who actually pulled away first.

“What the hell was that?” He exclaimed. He was this close to punching the other. “Why did you kiss me, Im Jaebum?”

His breathing was uneven. This was absurd. His friend just kissed him, without his consent. Instead of explaining, Jaebum was just blankly looking at him. The other was wreaking the scent of alcohol. He needed an explanation. No one would kiss someone just for the sake of it. At this point, he was starting to feel scared. The guy was leaning in again. Maybe, he should scream. But, that would only wake his parents up. They needed to rest. What should he do?

“Y-yah! Im Jaebum” The said person was dangerously close again. “Jaebum-“

“Nothing? Nothing at all?”

“What?” Jaebum pulled away, sighing. “What did you say?”

“I’m sorry for kissing you out of the blue, Marky.” The other smiled at him, like nothing happened. “Remember what I said before? That you were my first love?”

He found himself nodding. How could he forget? The other even announced it to the whole house, for everyone in it to hear. There were times when he could never understand how Jaebum’s mind worked.

“I actually came here to see if I did have feelings for you, still.”

“So, you kissed me?” He asked, scoffing loudly. “You did all this just to prove a theory?”

“Yes” The other shamelessly replied. “I did. And, I guess we don’t have that kind of feelings for each other. No sparks for me, at all. Not unless, of course. If you do-“

“No, no, no. I do not have those kinds of feelings for you.”

“Then, okay. I just had to make sure. I mean, you have two guys wanting you. I had to double check.”

“You didn’t have to go all the way, Jaebum.” The other let out a laugh. “I feel so used.”

“Used? You should be thankful. That I, Im Jaebum, kissed you.”

“In your dreams.” The tension finally disappeared. And, he was happy that it did. It was never awkward when the other was around. “Though, if you did have feelings for me, what would you do?”

“I’d woo you, of course. I mean, unlike those two. We share something deeper.”

In a way, Jaebum did have a point. If he were to choose between the three, he would probably end up with this guy. He felt so protected, so reassured with this person. He was sure Jaebum would never, ever hurt him. But to be honest, he never saw this person more than a brother. Though, he wasn’t really sure how he would react if his best friend did try and woo him.

“Still, you could’ve told me, you know. I mean, this wasn’t a normal thing to do.”

“Would you agree, if I asked?” He lowered his head, pursing his lips together. He wouldn’t, of course. They weren’t in any romantic relationship, so he wouldn’t allow Jaebum to kiss him like that. “See?”

“Whatever. Just, don’t do it again.”

“Next time, I’ll ask permission, your highness.”

“Whatever.”

Jaebum rested on his lap, while Nora jumped on the bed. It was nice to have company. It seemed that his plan to study would be postponed.

“So, how are you and the two idiots?”

“We’re... good? I guess.”

“Oh, right. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why did you give me Junior’s number?”

“Because, you asked for it?”

“Yeah, I did. But, still. Why?”

“I want you two to be friends, Jaebum.” The other snorted. “What?”

“You do know that Junior hates me, right?”

“He doesn’t hate you.” He wasn’t actually sure. They were exact opposites of each other. Even he couldn’t understand why Jinyoung hated Jaebum.

“He does, Mark.”

“Just, try. I don’t like it when my friends are fighting.”

“That is so you, Mark Tuan.” He rolled his eyes, pinching the other’s nose.

“And, kissing someone out of the blue is so you, Im Jaebum.”

“You’re right.” They shared a laugh. The other’s expression softened. “Who do you like more?”

“I like them equally. And, it’s frustrating.”

Having two guys like him, sounded so nice. But actually, it wasn’t all that. He was always afraid that he might hurt the other. Up until now, he was trying his best to accommodate the both of them, without either of them getting hurt.

But, how long could he maintain this kind of relationship?

“That’s not possible, Mark. Of course, you’d have to love someone more.”

Did he? Never did he think of it that way. He kept telling himself that they should be equally loved, but never more than the other. He never thought of it that way.

“You do know you can’t keep both of them, right? After all this, someone’s bound to get hurt, Mark. Or maybe, someone is already getting hurt.”

He knew that much. He couldn’t choose both of them. At the end of the day, he would only have one of them. Even if they promised that they wouldn’t be affected with his decision, he was sure that someone would eventually leave him, because he chose the other person. He didn’t want to lose anyone. It sounded so selfish, but that was him being honest. The two wanted something more from him, and he was willing to give it to them. He should’ve thought this through.

Worst of all, he had feelings for the both of them, which made things a lot harder than it already was.

He made sure that no one would get hurt. But actually, he was hurting the both of them. If he didn’t choose anyone, he would hurt the both of them. If he chose one of the two, he would hurt one of them.

“You eventually have to choose, Mark.”

“I know. I seriously don’t know what to do.” He groaned, lying back down. Jaebum