Damn that's a good one

I think I need to say thanks to that Yunwhore. Well yeah he is a who likes to flirt with my man.  Somehow he is our favorite topic to fight about, but fight means Make up . Although whatever kind of with Jaeis always a good one but Make up with Jae is phenomena.

There's another secret that not many people knowabout, but Jae has a piercing on his and that piercing is just the best thing in the world. Sometimes I wonder if I love that piercing more than I love Jae hahaha Kidding!

Ah Jae already finished his bath. I hate times like this. Times when Jae will leave me to sway his hips to a million people but me.

"Do you really have to go? Can’t you just stay here a little bit more?"

"Ace, you know the best that I really need to go. The plane will leave in 2 hours."

I can't say no when he calls me Ace. Only he calls me that weird pet name. Seriously have you heard people call their lover "Ace"? It's a good one butit’s weird to be pet name.

"I got it, I got it. Go then and make sureyou don’t ever make any Singaporean girl pregnant or Singaporean boy turn gay cause of you."

"Ace you know I can't do that with a girlbecause they have something lacking in their anatomy and I can’t helpit for the last one, well you are living proof."

Damn he's right.

"Okay, okay I got it hush hush, you said you need to go."

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Yup I was straight before or at least I thoughtI was. Actually how we met was kindof ironic. So I met Jae for the first time ata Dbsk's album signing. I went there to accompany my ex-girlfriend. Yup I don’t even like DBSK, mostly Jaejoong, the reason was because I was bored hearing my ex-girlfriend spazz about him.

That night, I had a big fight with my ex-girlfriend.  I decided to easemy stress by going to the bar with some of my friends from work. Well, actually I don't really get along with the guys from my work place.  They're such fanboys of SNSD and they're so nerdy.  I don't hate SNSD, but these guys talk about them every single damn minute.  They even buy all of SNSD's crap that comes out on sale. Seriously they are the typicalguys who work in It department, don't blame me I love comics but I’m not crazy about it. My hobbies are hiking, surfing and diving. So at one point I couldn’t helpit anymoreand I excused myself to go tothe restroom.

*flash back*

After finishing mybusiness I went to the sink and wash my hands. I saw a man beside me, a typical pretty korean guy beside me. Feels so familiar, I take a glance once more and AH!

"Sorry dude are you some idolthat had a fan signing this morning?"

"Yes, why?"

Seriously this Idol is terrorizing me even when I am havinga big fight with my girlfriend, and I have to see his face.

"Nothing , I just feel like your face familiar and My girlfriend is crazy for you. She even forced me to come to that fan signing. No offense dude but this entire idol thing in koreais really terrorizing me. I have to hear about the boy idols from my girlfriend and girl idol like snsd from my friends at work"

"You don’t like snsd?"

"I don’t think they are special, so-so. Besides they look too plastic, and I prefera girl who loves outdoor sport like hiking, surfing or even diving. That kind of girl is so hot to me."

"Wow you can dive? I really want to learndiving."

"Yup, by the way I wonder why you are alone, don't u have like tons of bodyguards?"

"Yeah, but tonight Isnuck out, so I am drinking alone. You can join me. I want to ask you about diving."

And like all the cliché stories Iwas drinking with him that night. We talked about a lot of things and drinking led to . Seriously I don't know whatwas going on with me that night. Then the drama began about how I was frustrated being gay and then how Jae starts to turn me intoa gay.

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My phone is ringing waking me up from my daydreaming about how I met Jae for the first time. I saw the caller id. It'sThalia, my mom.

"What's up Lia?"

"Can't you answer your phone from your mom ina more polite way?"

Sigh…

"HI Mommm, good morning ? How are you? What happened?"

"That one is better, come meet me at  X mall, I need you to accompany me shopping."

"Nope! Last time I accompany you, I had to walk around the mall for 4 hours. I don’t like shopping. Just buy it online saves your time and my sanity."

"Come on, It's Sunday you are not working andyou’re alone right? NO Jae beside you. Accompanying me shopping is better than playing that solitaire crap."

My mom has a point.

"Okay okay! But Solitaire is not a crap. Solitaire is most the perfect game, It's free and challenging."

"Whatever, meet me at starbucks at 10 am bye."

My mom already hung up before I can even say goodbye.

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"WhatLingerie?"

"Seriously are out of your mind asking your son to accompany you for buying lingerie?"

"Nope and you are gay and you are bottom."

"So what?"

"So you are not different from a woman, you need lingerie. Gosh I can imagine how hot Jaewould look in that maid lingerie. I can imagine it. Do you knowthat I am always reading yunjae fanfic? And when Jae is bottoming and wearing lingerie and begging to be ed by Yunho?”

*speechless*

"Mom, you are sick!!! First it’s sick that you imagine your son's boyfriend in lingerie. Second, it is sick how you get reading your son's bestfriend is being ed by another man. Third HOW OLD ARE YOU? You are reading fanfic?"

"Yup, sorry son I know you are my son but Yunjae is just perfect, try reading one you must be ."

"That’s it. I'm leaving."

"You can’t! Or I will tell Jae that you use our maidto clean your apartment when Jae is not around."

"Damn, are you really my Mother? I always thoughtthat I was not your son you musthave adopted me. Why do you need lingerie? You are 50!"

"Unfortunately you are my real son. No wonder I had so much pain when I was pregnant. And I am 50, but I haven’t gone through menopause yet, which means I am still need for before nature forbids me. But your stupid fatheris wasting the time I have left before I go through menopause and can’t have anymore. And don't nag. Gosh I thought you would be happy to go lingerieshopping with me since you are bottom. You haven’t bought lingerie yet?"

"Eugh mom too much information about you and dad still doing that, and second I heard after menopause you still can have just use lube. Third what is with me and bottoming and lingerie? Last dad doesn’t want to touch you anymore. Maybe he is bored with you and found some younger meat huahahahha."

"No wonder you’re always so sassy son, you never had mind blowing and your joke is not funny. Your dad still finds me able.

"What do you mean with I never had mindblowing ? Every I had with Jae is mindblowing and you are delusional mom. You are 50, you are not able, you are botoxable and need some plastic surgery."

"Son , I love you, but have you ever tried wearing lingerieat least once? Seriously, lingerieis always successful in making, well in your case, a man or the TOPS hard after and movies.And your dad is an Archeologist, he loves the old things. As I getting older his love and lust is bigger for me."

Seriously my mom is sick with all her theories, and me wearing lingerie? No way!!!! Jae never mentioned it so he must not like me in lingerie.

"You are sick mom, and Jae never mentioned me and lingerie so he must be not like everyother manthat loves his partner in that ridiculous thing."

"Honey, are you sure? Well my guessis either Jae is too kind and doesn’t want to scare you or he thinks you will be ridiculous and such a turn off in lingerie."

And my mom left me to try a new collection of Victoria Secret.

Is it true? Ahh Andreas don’t think about it, Jae loves you, it's enough. But well I am just a common guy. Maybe Jae loves to see other guys in lingerie but me? Would Jae love to see Yunho in lingerie? Ahhh why do I have to thinkabout all those Yunjae things? Right, it's all becauseof mom. That seriously needs to get a life and stop reading fanfics about Yunjae. Seriously, have you everheard of any mom who wants to read about her child's boyfriend having with other people but her child and even fantasizing about it?

Or maybe my mom just needs to get laid.No NO! NO, thinkingabout my mom having just makes me want to puke please no!

But it won’t hurt if I try to buy oneright? My mom said it can spice up our life. Yeah why don’t I try to get one?

But what if my mom is right and Jae find me such a turn off in lingerie?

My mind is full of clouds and I take my phone to find a number. Found it. I'll ask someone. My mind still has a hell o fa discussion about buying lingerie or not.

"Yoboseyo !!!!."

"Don’t me, I am not like you. By the way, do you have any lingerie Yunwhore?"

P.S thanks a lot to my loves jaejoonglove and rockabyebaby

and have a nice reading to this absurd story