4. G.R.8.U (Originally Chap. 46 Confrontation)

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            “Why am I like this?”

            Why was Hong Bin forcing smiles, dancing like a complete idiot when all he wants to do is to curl up in his bed and sulk like the pathetic person he is?

            “Why am I like this?”

            It’s because he’s an idol, that’s why. It’s because he must do his job, which he cannot let their fans down. It’s because he cannot disappoint them, they are what he needs to reach that state of stability...

            So he could be with you...

            And yet in that state he lost you…

            “I’ll never let you go –“

            All is too late, you had already left and there is nothing he can but continue with what he has started – do his job well.

            “Can’t let you go –“

            Hong Bin moved rhythmically to his ending position, turning around to show him flashy smile. The lights stopped flashing and brightened the stage for the final scene, blinding Hong Bin’s sight for a moment.

            It feels so strange… Lately he has been singing all these songs with you in mind, hoping you would hear his heart in a way he wasn’t able to tell you… And now all those lyrics meant nothing to him.

            It felt so… empty.

            “All, well done!” The director’s clap broke Hong Bin’s train of thought. “You may now go rest up, I think the next group is ready for rehearsal!”

            N gathered the team together for a group thanks, and with that, concluded VIXX’s rehearsal. Hong Bin let out a long sigh – he really wasn’t back in usual mood for this concert… He knew he needed gather himself up, if not, Won Sik would be very disappointed in him.

            And the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint the person who promised to kept the past events a secret from the company and their hyungs…

            Speaking of him… Hong Bin looked around.

            Where did WonSik go?

            “Hyuk, did you see WonSik?” Hong Bin called towards the maknae, who was busy talking to his friend from school, Sungjae.

            Hyuk shook his head.

            It was Sungjae that spoke up, “Ah, he went to Ilhoon hyung to the back. Probably something to do with rap stuff – they are both rappers after all,”

            WonSik and Ilhoon?

            Was BtoB here too? Hong Bin’s mind instantly wondered to you again, although he tried so hard to push you to the back of his mind. You were like a make up artist for BtoB… Was there any chance that you would be with them…?

            “Sungjae…”

            “Yes, Hyung?”

            Hong Bin scratched his head. Should he ask? Won Sik isn’t here after all, and it wouldn’t do any harm… right? “… Is your make-up artist noona that’s always with you guys here?”

            “…” Sungjae raised an eyebrow. Why would Hong Bin Hyung from VIXX want to know about your whereabouts? ... Sungjae wrinkled his nose, “she’s not here with us…” It’s not really a lie; you were at the hotel, not here, after all.

            “Ah.”

            “… Why, did you need something?”

            Hong Bin smiled bitterly. Whispering softly “It’s nothing,”, Hong Bin walked away as the small spark of hope died down in his chest. Seriously, what was he expecting? 

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Reason for Replacement

Ah this was actually like *this* close to being the actual chapter,

however I felt like I was dragging on too long with this whole revealing the secret thing

so i decided to just have Ilhoon go ahead and confront Ravi about the note and etc.

which i think was the better choice :) 

what did you guys think?

ah and between chap 12 - 46, i didnt really have much of a writer's block or major changes 

thats why the sudden skip from 12 to 46. haha 

oh wellll :D