“Ouch!”

It was on a sunny Sunday afternoon when the mom-to-be in the Kim family had her finger cut for the nth time during the day. She had lost count of how many times her mind went wandering by itself ever since the last time she met Sunny. Her soul felt like it was flying somewhere as she remembered the scene she had with her in the hospital. This lunch-cooking activity was just one of her ways to try escaping from the memory. However, no matter how many times she had attempted, everything was still very vivid in her mind; Sunny’s depressed gazes at her, Sunny’s words, and… Sunny’s kiss. Her heart jolted with longing once she tried recalling the taste of that kiss. The recurring flashes of memory made her feel dizzy. She touched her forehead with her palm – it was very varm.

“Taeyeon-ssi, are you sure you don’t need me to help you?” Kang ahjumma – the oldest maid in the house – appeared from somewhere behind the door. “You have had your fingers cut for several times already and you stumbled a couple of times as well”

“No, it’s okay. I am fine, ahjumma. Thank you” She turned her head a little bit even though her eyes were still fixed at the red, flesh blood which started flowing from her index finger.

“Aigoo, aigoo” The maid stepped toward her. “Let me finish this, Taeyeon-ssi. You need to take care of the wound and take some rest, too”

Taeyeon stared at the ahjumma with doubt, but then remembering how she had injured herself so many times just within a few hours and how her vision got blurry frequently made her realize she needed to stop. She finally went to the sink, cleaning the red liquid before going back to her bedroom.

“You obviously still love me but you are denying it!” Sunny’s sentences were running through her head when she suddenly dropped the first-aid-kit box even before she put it on the table. By the time she was kneeling down to tidy it up, her eyes had got blurry again and she had lost her balance. Nevertheless, she put everything back to the box and managed to drag herself to the bed.

“I might be just sleepy” She tucked her hair behind her ears as she muttered to herself. Second by second passed and the dizziness was still there. She tried focusing on wrapping her index finger with a band-aid despite noticing that everything around her seemed to be spinning. The woman closed her eyes in a hope that it would somehow go away, but by the time she opened those eyes once more she felt even worse.

“The way your eyes communicated with me when we looked at each other earlier, and the way your lips and tongue move on mine…” Sunny’s last sentence before they parted ways alarmed her. She shook her head continuously as if doing so would stop the recorded voice in her mind.

“Sunny-ah” She wailed. She stood up and held tightly onto the drawer to keep her firm. She abruptly threw the box back into its original place before another pressure hit her brain.

“They all say you’re clearly still in love with me!” That was the last sentence she could replay before completely losing her consciousness.

* * *

Sunny’s phone had rung a few times already when the owner was falling asleep on her office desk. She woke up completely when the loud thud sound of the phone falling to the floor shocked her. The short-hair woman scratched her eyes a bit before taking the phone lazily.

“Hello?” She answered, not even bothered to check the name of the caller.

“Sunny-ah?” Hyomin’s voice could be heard.

“Hyominie?”

“Yes. Are you working?”

“Yes I am. What’s wrong, Hyomin? Do you need any help? Or do you want to talk to Hara? I don’t bring her to the office. She’s in the daycare center”

“No, no. It’s fine. Actually, I have good news to tell you”

“Oh” Sunny fixed her position. It had been a while since she heard the words ‘good news’. “What is it?”

“The doctor told me yesterday that I would be allowed to leave the hospital soon” Hyomin smiled. “I can take Hara home and I don’t need to burden you again”

“Oh” Sunny replied shortly. Deep in her heart, she somehow did not want that young little girl to go. It was true that Hara took most of her morning every day; the time that she could use to prolong her sleep had to be taken to bath and dress up the little girl. Then, it would take her fifteen minutes to take Hara to the daycare center’s building. Hara would make troubles every now and then; such as spilling her milk all over the bed or dropping the food while they were eating, but she still wanted Hara with her. It had only been several months but she felt like Hyomin’s daughter was a part of her own family; someone who reminded her of the memories she shared with Taeyeon, someone whom she and Taeyeon had taken care of together, someone who had helped her in making Taeyeon agree to build a family together.

“Sunny?” Hyomin brought her back to reality. “Are you there?”

“Uh? Yes, yes. I am here. Sorry, I was just too focused on my work” Sunny answered, trying to hide the trace of sadness. “I am glad to hear you can go home soon. Just call me whenever you are ready to pick up Hara”

“Yes, sure. I will call you again later. I have to take care of some things now. See you, Sunny-ah”

“Bye, Hyomin-ah” She put the phone back on the table before resting her head on her own arms.

* * *

The white-sheet bed on which Taeyeon was lying on was rushed to the emergency room by the doctor and nurses. The master and mistress of the family were following quickly right behind as they stared on their precious daughter. Once the woman on the bed entered the completely bright room, however, the two could only stare through the semi-transparent gate with deep sadness.

Mr. Kim took a seat on one of the provided benches and rested his palms on his knees. Hearing her husband’s sighs, Ms. Kim could do nothing but to sit right next to him and wiped her tears away with a piece of tissue. They waited without any words spoken after being too shocked by their only child’s sudden unconsciousness. The mom still had the fresh image of how she entered Taeyeon’s room and found her daughter on the floor with total pale face. Even if he carried her in rush to the car, the father could still remember how warm her daughter's body felt.

Forty-five minutes had passed like an entire day for the parents until the gate was suddenly pushed open and people with white blazers came out. Not waiting any longer, Ms. Kim took the initiative first to meet the doctor’s eyes.

“How’s she doctor? How’s she?” Her eyes reddened again.

As if the doctor acknowledged the worries in the mother’s eyes, he quickly opened his masker and gave her a comforting smile. “Your daughter is alright now. Her body temperature is still high but it was expected to lower soon. There is nothing really serious with the baby either. However… “

The doctor’s paused explanation made Mr. and Ms. Kim wait in worry and curiosity.

“After she woke up, I had a short conversation with her. Has she been… in a kind of depression or stress lately?”

Upon the question, Ms. Kim went silent for a few seconds before looking back at her husband – who did not seem like knowing what to answer either. The doctor was joining in the silence at first, but noticing that there must be something being kept privately among the family members, he decided to continue.

“I would suggest the family members to keep her away from stress and depression for the rest of her pregnancy period, or even until more than that. No matter how you look at it, nothing good comes out from stress and depression. If there is nothing wrong anymore with her, she can leave the day after tomorrow since she still needs the IV shot for now”

“Okay, okay” The mother nodded continuously. “Can we go inside now? Is she okay?”

“Sure, but I gave her an antidepressant shot so she might be asleep again by now. Also, as I said, please keep her relaxed”

“Sure, doctor” Mr. and Ms. Kim both bowed their head. “Thank you so much, doctor. Thank you so much”

Soon after the doctor stepped away, the two made their ways through the gate. It did not take long for them to find their daughter’s bed and once again, the mom’s heart was torn into pieces seeing Taeyeon’s pale face and the IV liquid flowing to her body through her wrist. They soon had themselves seated on the two chairs placed on both the left and right side of the bed. Again, Ms. Kim was the first one to take her March-born-girl’s hand and wrap it within her own.

“Taeyeon-ah…” She whispered slowly. “Mom is really sorry for not taking care of you well… Please get better soon, okay?”

Unexpectedly, the hand she was holding wriggled in slow motion. She quickly turned her attention toward her child’s face; the mouth was now trying to mutter something in an unheard voice even though that beautiful pair of eyes were still closing. Ms. Kim bit her lips before attempting to bring her ears closer to Taeyeon’s face. Being patient, she waited until she could slowly hear what her daughter had been trying to say.

“Sunny-ah…”

That was the first word she heard.

“Sunny-ah, I miss you”

She pulled her head back once she noticed her daughter’s voice was getting clear by the time she said the full sentence. Mr. Kim cleared his throat and tried to look away.

“We really should get her married to Baekhyun-ssi, so she can forget that name sooner” He suddenly commented.

Taken aback by the statement, Ms. Kim narrowed her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows. Giving her husband an angry glare, she shook her head.

“I cannot believe you said that when all we’re supposed to do is to lessen her stress” She said, stressing on every single word possible. “All she needs is the person she loves and I don’t understand why it is so hard for you to let her have that. She is conceiving and she needs to be healthy, but what you’re doing is making her like this instead”

“So what do you expect me to do!?” The old man stood up and glared back at her. “Letting her date that woman and let her be a lesbian!? We are well-respected family! Please think of it before you say that!”

“So reputation is more important for you than your very own blood and flesh” Tears dropped from the lady’s eyes. “If Taeyeon had thought the same like you do, she would have had abortion from the first time she knew”

Mr. Kim turned his back, letting himself think for a while.

“Then Taeyeon would have been a killer of her own son by then, and for forever she would be trapped in her guilt” The wife stood up. “Is that what you want!? Huh!?”

“Shut up!” The husband turned around again; the flame in his eyes was still there. “Stop any of this bull and I will arrange the marriage soon!”

With that, he opened the cubicle’s curtain angrily and walked out in silence. Ms. Kim waited until she calmed herself down before taking her wallet out. She struggled a bit opening the hidden zipper at the back part, but still managed to take out the content without much effort. There, she found the old black and white photo – the picture once taken when she was still really young – and stared at it. The image of a fresh, good-looking woman she could still see clearly despite some dirt all over the photo. Using her thumb, she caressed the figure as if she was facing her face to face. Then, she tried removing the ink that covered the bottom part of the frame where a name was written – it was written as Jolin.

“I will not make the same mistake I did in the past to you” She mentally spoke to herself. “My happiness was taken when I let them take you, but I’m not going to let that happen to my daughter”

* * *

Sunny entered the hospital with Hara, carrying one backpack and one handbag. It was only supposed to be one backpack full of Hara’s clothes, but Hara insisted on bringing all the toys Sunny had bought for her so she had to stuff them all in one heavy handbag. Sunny had to have difficulty opening Hyomin’s room door due to the weight on her arms and shoulders.

“Haraaa-yaaah” The loud welcoming voice of her mother made Hara smile and run to her. Hyomin seemed to be getting better; she had gained weight and her face was full of life now. She lifted Hara quite easily to her lap and planted kiss all over the little girl’s face.

“How are you feeling?” Sunny put all the bags on the corner of the room.

“Much better, of course. If not, I wouldn’t be allowed to leave today, right?” Hyomin threw a smile at her.

“Glad to hear that then” Sunny’s expression turned rather gloomy, although she still forced to turn her lips upward. “And I’m glad that Hara can be with her mom again from now on”

Hyomin let Hara play by herself with the TV remote on the edge of the bed. “You don’t know how grateful I am to you, Sunny. I can’t imagine if you had not been there. Thank you so much for taking care of Hara these past few months”

Sunny approached the bed. “It’s my pleasure. I always take care of Hara like she’s my own child. How are you going home later?”

“My uncle and aunt are going to pick me up. Sunny-ah, how about you? Are you fine? How’s… Have you met Taeyeon again?”

Hearing that name mentioned, the light in Sunny’s face totally flew off somewhere. “Yeah... I’ve met her. Things are complicated, but if she really wants me to go, maybe I will go”

Hyomin did not answer and was staring into her ex-girlfriend’s eyes instead. She bit her lips and smiled weakly before starting again. “You know, if only you hadn’t been in love with Taeyeon at that time, I would have tried to have your heart back”

Sunny looked up, quite surprised by the sudden confession.

“But you seem to be really in love with Taeyeon. At first I couldn’t accept it so I went to Taeyeon to talk. When I saw her expression the moment I brought your name up, I could clearly see she was totally in love with you, too. She had this exact same expression when I first fell for you, Sunny. Everyone could easily say you two were for each other”

“That’s what Jessica and everybody say too except for four people” Sunny’s eyes met her feet again. “Taeyeon herself, her parents, and God”

“God? Why did you say so?”

“Because…” Sunny gulped. “Everyone knows two girls falling in love with each other is a sin. A princess should be married to a prince, not a loser like me. So does Taeyeon, she has to be with the man she has to marry, not me”

“Hey, why are you like this?” Hyomin moved her position so her two arms could reach Sunny’s cheeks. “Look at me. I got married to a man I once thought as my prince. See what I got? He left me and his girl and vanished into thin air. Sure, kind-hearted princes do still exist in this world but it is not a guarantee that only men could be the hero here. If Taeyeon loves you and you love her, that’s it. ‘Love is love’ – isn’t that what you once told me when we went for our first date? Do you remember?”

The brown-haired woman turned her gaze once more at Hyomin. She smiled again and this time, it was a sincere one. “Yes, I do remember. Thank you, Hyominnie. I will do my best to get her back”

“That’s my Sunny” Hyomin grinned.

The three spent the rest of the time watching TV together, even though Hara mostly gained control of the TV channel. Not a long time after, Hyomin’s uncle and aunt arrived. Sunny helped them pack up stuffs and assisted Hyomin walking to the car.

“Hara-yah, take care okay?” Sunny waved her hand to Hara who was now in the car already. “Listen to your mom like how you listen to Auntie Sunny”

“I know, I know” Hara lifted her chin arrogantly yet innocently. “But I never listen to you, Auntie Sunny. I only listen to Auntie Taeyeon”

“You’d better get Taeyeon back soon in case I need her help to control my own daughter” Hyomin laughed a bit.

Sunny could only smirk upon the request. The car slowly made its way out of the parking space, making the child inside jump up and down in excitement. When it was about to leave the spot, however, Hara’s attention was back to Sunny and she waved at her.

“Auntie Sunny! Tell Auntie Taeyeon I love her! I want to go to the zoo again with baby brother!”

Feeling deeply touched by the words coming out from a little girl’s mouth, Sunny lifted her arms up in the air and waved back. “I will! We will go together again one day! Bye, Hara-yaaah!”

She waited until the car was out of her vision before she hung her head low. Tears by tears started flowing as the sadness overwhelmed her. She did not know how long it had been since she had lived alone; it was a long time ago before Hara was here, and it was even a longer time ago before Taeyeon came into her life. She was literally back to that time again – being alone.

Using a taxi to get back home, she could not help but to look at the other side of the sofa where Hara would usually stand to look outside the window. When the car passed by the daycare center she usually took Hara to, she smiled realizing how much she would miss that place despite the long walking and the mean-looking owner.

She gave the money to the driver once the car stopped right in front of her house. She waited a bit until the taxi went away, somehow feeling uneasy to walk into an empty house even though it is the place she slept in everyday. She took a deep breath, let it out, and mentally cheered herself up before she turned around. Shockingly, though, she saw a woman standing right next to the door.

The old-looking lady was fiddling her fingers. She looked like she had been waiting for quite a while. The unknown person occasionally turned her head to the right and left as if she was in hurry to meet someone. Sunny narrowed her eyes in order to get a clearer view of who the person was, and after stepping slowly she was 100% sure the old lady was no other than Taeyeon’s mother.

“Ms. Kim?” The younger woman greeted.

“Ah, Lee Sunny-ssi!” Sunny could see Ms. Kim’s brightening expression when she heard her name called.

“Anyonghaseyo” The younger woman bowed her head. “I am sorry I was at the hospital to send my friend home. If I may know, what matter brings you here, Ms. Kim?”

“Sunny-ssi” The gloomy face of Ms. Kim came back after they stood face-to-face. “Please, follow me to the hospital”

Feeling there was something wrong, Sunny widened her eyes. “What happened?”

“Taeyeon collapsed. She badly needs you, Sunny-ssi. Please, forget what my daughter has said to you. She has been just denying her own feelings all this time. I don’t want her to get even more depressed than this”

Sunny’s mouth slightly opened, but it could not speak out any single word. Her heart began beating faster by just having the thought of her loved one’s condition right then. Her stomach raged as deep worry crept into her heart. She could feel her body turning cold. For a second she felt as if nothing mattered anymore; even if Taeyeon would reject her or her father would be there to beat her up, she just wanted to see Taeyeon.

“Take me to see her, Ms. Kim” Sunny unconsciously grabbed the older’s hand. “Take me to see her!”