Is it the end of me?

Why am I treated like this?

Did I do something wrong?

I am nothing.

I am no one.

I don’t want this.

I want to dissapear..

"Come on, Jio! You have to at least eat!" Amber said while struggling with the tray of food that she is holding. She was facing Jio's door. After what happened at the stage, Jio didn’t care to get out of his room, without even eating anything.

"Jio! Come out!" he heard her shouting. He was laying at his bed, looking at the ceiling. His bedroom became so messy since he skipped school for a week. Surprisingly, it looks like a rat hole. He has a beard now, since he never took a single bath within that week. He is so… lifeless. No one could ever tell that this messy man was once a very fine young man. It's funny how the judging eyes could destroy one's view about thyself.

"Who am I?" he thought.

He paused for a while.

"I am nothing….." he added. Ever since the incident happened, he became the talk of the school. Everyone laughs at thoughts of him. He became the "loser". He's a nobody now. He became a very laughable man. He became the man he doesn’t want to be. He let out a sigh.

"Dumbo, you lost your pendant" he said to himself as he touched his neck.

"Ya! Jio, it's been a week! We are worried about you!" Amber shouted but Jio didn’t believe.

"You're nothing, how can someone worry about you? Lies….." Jio said to himself, his confidence turned into zero.

Amber sighed. This guy became so hopeless. She doesn’t understand his pain but she wanted to. She wanted to be there for him. She gave up for today. It's been three hours when she stood in front of his door to convince him. She's getting pissed off. She went to her bedroom, revealing Luna and Victoria sitting in her bed.

"So… how is he?" Victoria asked Amber with her motherly eyes. Her arm became swollen since she punched so many guys in the stage when that happened. Even though she's not really that close with Jio, she thinks that it's not right for someone to be laughed at that harshly.

Amber shrugged and said, "Nothing new".

Luna thought of him. That guy….. He wanted to help her very much but now that he's down, who's going to help him if he just closed his doors?

"I think it's time for me to talk to him. I cant sit still knowing that he's experiencing the same amount of pain I've experienced" Luna said as she stood up. She was very worried about him so much. Victoria and Amber nodded so Luna headed off to his door. She knocked the door.

"Hey, Jio. This is Luna" she said. Jio heard her but he doesn’t want to respond. No, he cant respond. He's lost. He's out of himself.

"I know that it's been a hard time for you. If you don’t want to come out, then, I respect your decision…." she added, pausing for a while. "Do you remember the day you wiped my tears? I really treasure that day because you gave me hope. That sparkling eyes of yours… I really miss that"

Jio heard her. He walked towards the door and sticked his ear to it. Somehow, Luna's words makes the pain less painful. It's funny how her words serves as a painkiller for him.

"Why is this happening? You might be asking yourself. You can't sleep these days, right? And it's also funny how you never get starved even if you don’t eat for a week. The pain fills you and your heart…. your heart hurts too much, right? I know all of the pain. I want to wipe your tears the same way you wiped mines. Jio, I am here for you, I'm not lying. I cannot promise that I'll make the pain go away, but I'll help you, that, I promise" she sincerely said, with teary eyes.

Luna heard the door made a strange noise and the door opened slowly, revealing the crying lifeless man. He hugged his noona very eagerly, like a child longing for his mom. Luna was surprised but she smiled because he finally opened his wooden barrier of his own little world. She caresses his head. She felt a warm feeling hugging him.

"Noona…. I want to…… I want to dissapear…. I want to leave..." he cried. Hearing him cry made her heart be broken. She wanted to help him but she knew that only he can help himself.

MEANWHILE….

She furiously hurried down to the stairs. Her short hair whoosing around since she walked really fast. She walked towards a wooden door similar to any other rooms in the dorm. But this room is a different one. This is the room below her bestfriend's room. She knocked quickly and  after waiting for a minute, the door has been opened, revealing a beautiful girl with milky skin, big eyes, kissable lips and a peach-like scent.

She smiled warmly and said, "Hyung!", welcoming the tomboyish girl to her room. Amber would smile at her and hug her after being greeted like this but this time, she wont. Amber has been suspecting her for weeks. If not her, it must be Krystal, who has been missing for days. Sulli saw her sad expression.

"Hyung, is something wrong?" she innocently asked.

"Stop pretending that nothing happened. One of you made that prank to him. I am freaking certain of it. Is it Soo Jung? Or.. Is it you?" Amber furiously asked.

The innocent girl gave Amber a very warm smile. "What are you talking about?" she said even though she knows exactly what Amber is talking about. Amber punched their door, which gave Sulli some chills. "Hyung!" the innocent girl shouted.

"For God's sake! Spare me the act! I've known you for years and I refuse to believe that you became this low!" the furious Amber said.

Sulli forced a smile and said, "Hyung, you should rest. You look restless. Are you eating well?".

Amber rolled her eyes. She stared at the innocent girl badly. "This is the last time I'm handling your crap. You and Soo Jung… you better leave f(x) before you cause any more trouble. If you can't control yourselves right now, how much trouble can you make if we debuted? Losing the two of you is much better than debuting with you, even if the school kicks us out" she said, but she knew that she doesn’t mean that. Debuting has been f(x)'s dream.

Sulli smiled again and said, "Hyung, aren't you too much?" but Amber interrupted her. "No! The two of you are too much! If that guy never returned… If that guy broke into pieces… I swear I'm ready to stand against you"

"Hyung, you don’t know what you're saying… Without Soo Jung and I, f(x) wont work. Everyone knows it….. The School knows it…. This is the system" Sulli said. It sounds like a threat to Amber. Anyone saying that will make it look like a threat.

"I don’t car--" Amber said but she was interrupted when someone touched her shoulder. It was their omma, Victoria.

"Calm down, Amber. Sulli, go in and rest. I'll take care of Amber" Victoria said as she pulled Amber from the room. Sulli nodded and closed the doors. Victoria stared at Amber for long, it's like she telling her that she made the wrong move. Victoria pulled her to their room. Amber let go of Victoria's grip.

"What are you doing!? You knew the truth but what did you do? NOTHING!" Amber said to Victoria. Victoria, who doesn’t let Amber's words affect her judgement, hugged her baby llama. It was a short hug but that hug made Amber calm down.

"Amber, do you remember how little Krystal and Sulli is when we first saw them?" Vic asked. Amber nodded.

"Do you remember the time when we promised that we'll debut someday?" Amber nodded.

"Do you remember those kind and innocent girls? The girls that used to greet us warmly and bow like no other?" Amber nodded.

"So, you remember all of it. You already know… You already know that it's not who they really are… they just… changed. There will always be a period of time where we all change… it just happened that they changed badly" Victoria said.

"But… that doesn’t mean that we should let them do that to people" Amber insist.

"Just this once, think about yourself and f(x). You know that she's right. We wont debut without each and everyone of us. Amber, we're more than just a group. We're family, so it is not right to tell them to leave. We've been working so hard to be a group for a long time and you know very well that Sulli and Krystal will attract many fans. You shouldn’t let this current situation cloud your dreams" Victoria explained.

"But Jio…"

"I believe that Jio is a strong man. He'll overcome his nightmare. You should understand that a few sacrifices must be made, even if it hurts you. Even if it means… Jio.." Victoria said.

"But… what if he doesn’t recover?"

"Let's just hope he does"

"No. I cannot let him. It's because I……"

While all of these are happening, there is a person who chose to remain silent. She was staying at the ice skating rink. This strange girl finds the ice very relaxing. She stared at the vast blue skies.

"Peaceful…." she thought. The sunlight highlights her pretty features. Her lips, mouth and her beautiful mole, but, as the sunlight lights up her features, it also lights up the gloom of her eyes. Her eyes is telling that she is confused and yet, her mind is telling her that she's not. No, she refused to accept that she's worried. For some time, she skated. For her, this is the exit when everything have wronged her. She remembered the time when she discovered that little Sulli and her beautiful sweet little self will be used as money bringer. For a little girl, she skated for a week or two, without knowing anything about skating, and came back as a cold monstrous person that she is now. Knowing that fact have wrecked her. Who wouldn’t be?

Somehow, the ice doesn’t seem to help her right now so she sat in the nearest bench for a while, with her bag laying down on it. She felt a shock from her bag. It turns out, it's just her phone vibrating. Sulli is calling her so she quickly answered.

"Hello?"

Hey, Soo Jung.

"What?"

Don’t come to the dorm for a while. Hyung knew about the prank and she was furious. She's suspecting you too so I'm telling you not to come. I will find a way to slide.

" Jin Ri! Please don’t make this bigger. Can't we just admit it?"

Don’t tell me that you're being soft. We promised, right? That nobody defies us as long as we're together

Krystal heard a couple of strange noise. It's like somebody is yelling to another. "No, don’t leave!" Krystal clearly heard from the phone. Somehow, the voices sound familiar.

"Sulli, what is happening there? Is everything all right?"

Yes. Everything's all right. Just…. I'll settle this

Sulli hanged up. "Strange…" she thought. Sulli sounds like in a hurry as she hanged up the phone. Krystal tried to calm down but she couldn’t, knowing that something might be happening at the dorm. She hurriedly packed her bag and went to her car. She started the engine and drove.

Honestly, Krystal was right. SOMETHING is happening in the dorm. She went to the dorm, with the current situation. It was Jio, pulling his red luggage. Amber was holding his wrist while Luna was holding his luggage, preventing him to move it. Victoria was in that state of shock where she couldn’t close and Sulli….. well, Sulli was watching, with a glimpse of happiness in her eyes. Seeing Sulli acting like this made Krystal feel bad a little, but she understood her. She endured the same pain as her.

"Don’t go!" Amber said while looking in his eyes. He avoided her anxious stare. His eyes full of solemn.

"I know you're miserable right now, but running away from this…. is this your way of solving things?" Luna said to him. He is very embarrassed to face all of them so he kept on looking at the floor.

"Look at me. Look at us!" Luna shouted but he didn’t listen. He pushed Luna's grip, and Amber's too. He pulled his luggage, and started walking.

"I'm telling you not to go… why are you leaving me, idiot!?" Amber whispered. This made Jio stop for a while. He knew that Amber is very close to crying.

"Don’t leave..." Krystal wanted to say, seeing Amber's terrified eyes or…maybe because she doesn’t want him to leave for her sake too? She doesn’t know either. Jio gulped, doubting if he should leave.

He… continued to walk.

Amber froze and cried. Luna couldn’t help but to feel helpless. She wanted him to stay so bad but she couldn’t. He slowly walked, dragging his luggage with him but someone stopped him. Her feet is so small. Jio looked up, revealing her perfect thighs. Jio looked up again, revealing the girl's face. Her cat-like eyes… her perfect nose… her strange lips… her unyielding stare… it was Krystal, staring at him. Jio saw his reflection in her eyes. It was very small and yet very clear. Jio could see the gloom in her eyes. It was the gloom that she hid for some time.

Jio felt strange looking at her stare. It's like her eyes were telling him not to go. He can feel the pain in her eyes. For some reason, he couldn’t understand why is her eyes showing all this. Just like that, he froze, stuck at her gaze.

"Why are you stopping? Aren't you leaving? Go, leave" Krystal said. Although her words are harsh, her eyes were telling him the other way around.

He didn’t answer and continued staring at her deep eyes and shed his tears.

"I'm sorry…"