C is for Crabby Leigh

Letter the Third: Reliving the terror of going through airports as a faux celebrity

Deer Luhan,

I will admit my respect for you is rising slightly at your ability to leave airports, because I thought I was going to die in Incheon.  I still don’t appreciate being put through this.  You .

Leigh

Dear Leigh,

I’m glad you think so highly of my airport Houdini skills.  Sadly, it’s all an illusion and I’m in the straightjacket going through the fans just as much as you are.  Were, even.  Actually, wait, still are.  Just the other day, I got knocked over and one of them trod on my face because she thought I was you pretending to be me because I was talking to Sehun.

LuLu

P.S. Remember bodyguards when you next fly across.

D is for Distraught Leigh

Letter the Fourth: Raging about the amount of work needed to pass oneself off as somebody else

Deer Luhan,

If the mafia don’t kill you first, then I will.  And if I die from overdancing before I can do that, then Sehun will probably kill you instead.

Leigh

Dear Leigh,

So happy you decided to keep me alive, and that you survived dancing yourself to death.  I’ve heard it’s a painfully exhausting way to go.

LuLu

P.S. Don’t tell Sehun about the occasion you filled in for me in China last month.  He’s already annoyed with me because I didn’t take him out for bubble tea nine days ago.

E is for Enigmatic Leigh

Letter the Fifth: Struggling with names of people you're apparently meant to know, as well as adapting to their personalities

Deer Luhan,

Kappa Kai and D.O. have been prancing around the dorm singing “HunHan is really real!” for a day and a half now.  Camelhen and BacBaekhyun think it’s hilarious and have been adlibbing descants to it and Chanyeol has added a beatbox track and is thinking about turning it into a rap.  Even Suho can’t get them to shut up and Xiumin won’t even try because you made him hate me for some reason, and some of the sasaengs who camp outside the dorm have been spreading the ‘news’, which has led to a huge surge in disturbing NC-17-rated HunHan fanfics.  How do you cope with these guys?  I think I’m getting PTSD….

Leigh

Dear Leigh,

LOL.  To be honest, I don’t cope with them.  I’ve been seeing a therapist specialising in trauma for the last four years.

LuLu

P.S. What nicknames did you come up with for Chen and Baekhyun?  You haven’t written them out in full and I’m running out of things to call them.

F is for Fearful Leigh

Letter the Sixth: Appreciating sane fans in hindsight

Deer Luhan,

Rather you than me when it comes to fame.  I’m beginning to appreciate the type of fa