Zhang Yixing wasn’t particularly known for having a good memory.

Consequently, a third party may seem slightly perplexed that he couldn’t recall any moment of his life before he met Myungsoo. His years of adolescence were blurry, his childhood nothing but a smudge in his mind. While others may have a faint recollection of that fateful day, Yixing couldn’t remember what he ate this morning.

His head was filled with only thoughts about Myungsoo; his hair color, his dietary practices, his speech pattern, his habit of staring intensely into Yixing’s eyes, his favorite animal. Of course, Yixing also had basic memories of his own name and birth date, but on occasion Myungsoo would make him forget who he was (which was why he always carried ID on his person just in case he happened to suddenly suffer from amnesia).

In all honesty, Yixing didn’t mind being so lightheaded and forgetful all the time. He didn’t mind staring dreamily across their living room at the graceful man doing nothing but reading a book and  still looking elegant doing so. He didn’t mind forgetting what he was doing the very moment Myungsoo looked at him, nor did he mind feeling faint when Myungsoo’s perfectly shaped lips touched his in those soft, delicate moments they shared.

He loved everything that ever made up the person named Kim Myungsoo. He loved how long his eyelashes were, he loved the way his cute nose crinkled whenever he laughed, and the way his body twitched as he came down from the high moment of ecstasy. And yet, Yixing couldn’t bring himself to admit that he loved Myungsoo, because he felt that saying ‘I love you’ was too much of an understatement. No words could possibly explain in its entirety, how he felt for the younger male.

So he often acted upon his feelings; holding Myungsoo’s hand when he means ‘it’ll be okay’, kissing him softly when he wants to say ‘I’m here for you’, and the sinful act of ing into his sacred body meant nothing but the innocent 'I love you' Yixing would otherwise fail to express.

He didn’t mind forgetting who he was if it meant he could touch and hold Myungsoo in his arms. He didn’t mind if skinship would steal away his words. He didn’t mind, because he wholeheartedly, understatement or not, loved Myungsoo; because every single day with him were his fateful days.

Every single day was with Myungsoo. Every single hour, second, was about Myungsoo. Every moment in the now with Myungsoo, had to be absolutely cherished.

At this moment, he watched with complete fascination as Myungsoo’s swollen lips parted to let out a soft whimper. “… X-Xing…” The younger murmured as beads of sweat rolled down his temples. It was such a stunning sight, to have Myungsoo so hot and bare under him; he almost forgot to respond.

“… O-Oh. I’m sorry, does it hurt?” Yixing stopped moving and worry appeared on his features. He was hot and himself, lost in the moment of lust. But he couldn’t help his concern for Myungsoo’s comfort despite the fact he was almost in and almost there.

Myungsoo shook his head and clutched onto the sheets under them a bit harder. Although their bedroom was dim, he managed to find and trace along Yixing’s jaw line. “… You,” he started with a breathy voice. “Come closer.”

The elder leaned down until their foreheads touched. He smiled as Myungsoo wrapped his arms around his neck, whispering amorously in his ear to move. He listened to the godly moans and curses that spewed out of his lover’s mouth as he ed, walls tightening around him with each plunge.

“D-Dammit… Yixing…! Harder-r…!” Myungsoo mewled, fingers constantly being tangled in Yixing’s dark locks. The latter felt his stomach tighten unbearably so; he went faster and drove them both over the edge.

In that moment of pure white, that moment of ecstasy, Yixing was so high on that he barely felt Myungsoo kiss his neck again; as he always did when they made love. The feeling of just being able to share this glorious moment with the one he treasured, he could scarcely grasp or believe. This surrealism had him hypnotized, paralyzed, until he pulled out and fell asleep by Myungsoo’s side.

He was all he ever needed.

Yixing awoke the next morning sore, but the stiffness seemed to subside once his eyes caught sight of the person lying beside him. Myungsoo was snoring softly, body hardly covered by the covers they shared. Sunlight filtered through the blinds and spilled against him, giving his beloved the appearance of a holy entity; an angel. Nevertheless, Yixing was compelled to reach over and gently his hair.

Myungsoo stirred at the movement and soon his eyes fluttered open. He stared at the elder with those deep chocolate orbs until they both laughed. “Morning,” he greeted casually, lifting a hand to poke Yixing’s prominent dimple. “Go wash up.”

“Okay,” the other sat up and attempted to find his pants, or something to cover his package. “Do you want to come with?” He faintly imagined a pleasant scene in which they both jumped into their bathtub full of bubbles and cuddled while submerged in warm water.

Unfortunately for Yixing, Myungsoo seemed a little reluctant as he sank deeper into his pillow. “You wash first.” He muttered and closed his eyes again. Although his bottom lip jutted out of habit, Yixing obediently obliged and strode to the washroom.

After quickly brushing his teeth and putting on proper clothes, he returned to the bedroom only to find the bed empty. He meandered through the apartment and found his significant other in the hallway, staring at a painting on the wall. It depicted a little homely cabin perched on a hill, far away from the rest of the town at the base; the painting was noticeably the only decoration in their entire flat.

Yixing snuck up on Myungsoo and gave him a smothering back hug, surely catching the younger by surprise. “What’s up, Xing? You’re clingy today.” The corners of his lips curved into a smile as he gave affectionate pats to Yixing’s head.

The couple gently rocked side to side as the elder of the two attempted to gather his thoughts. He thought about saying it; those three words, that eight-letter phrase he failed to say much earlier. But being oppressed by his own feelings, he felt that just saying it wouldn’t be enough. The entirety of what he felt for Myungsoo couldn’t easily be expressed by such a simple sentence. Even worse, what Myungsoo just brushed it off? What if he perceived it as a random act in spur of the moment and never took it to heart? What if he didn’t feel the same way?

Yixing was afraid and nervous, to the point that he said something entirely different. “… I…” He murmured, tightening his hold around Myungsoo’s waist. “… I want to be with you. I want to be with you, and no one else. I want to live a life where there’s only you, and only me. I want to go to a world where only you and I exist… Is that weird?” He asked hesitantly, unsure of what the other thought of the idea.

“Not really,” Myungsoo said in response. His eyes had a cryptic feeling to them, but he was smiling. “I wouldn’t mind. A world where only we exist… I want to go.”

The sudden rush of happiness going up his body almost prompted Yixing to cry; but he held it in, and instead kissed the back of the other’s head impulsively. His heart was about to burst out of joy, just to know that Myungsoo felt the same. He didn’t know if his feelings were completely understood, but for now this was okay. This much was fine, he could live knowing that much.

His happiness was immediately replaced with regret.

The ground abruptly shook under them, causing the two to fall over onto the floor. Assuming it was an earthquake, Yixing quickly grabbed Myungsoo’s hand in order to pull him towards the exit. But as soon as their hands connected, the wooden floor started to crumble until it could no longer hold its own weight. They fell, plummeting down a hole that seemed to emit a blue light. Almost as if they were in; Yixing could no longer see his house or the city he was familiar with but rather streaks of light whizzing by him at incomprehensible speeds.

It felt like he was being blown away, winds attacking him from all directions as he fell down a hole leading to nowhere. Despite all this, he held onto Myungsoo’s hand as hard as he could, not wanting to lose him. He was scared; petrified not of the possibility of death, but losing Myungsoo would be horrifying nightmare, even worse than dying.

His worst nightmares were quickly met with reality. Myungsoo, fear etched onto his face, shouted at him. They were still falling, winds and light flying past them rapidly, making it hard to hear anything but constant blowing. But he suddenly felt his will grow weak, the grip on Myungsoo’s hand grow limp.

Before he knew it, he lost the warmth on his hand, and before he could comprehend or process anything, Myungsoo was going away. He was being blown away in a different direction, growing farther and farther away from Yixing until he eventually disappeared into the blue light.

He couldn’t understand what happened; everything was going too fast, happening too quickly. His chest was feeling too tight and he couldn’t see, not with tears blurring his vision. He couldn’t speak, because too many lumps appeared in his throat. He couldn’t do anything but fall.

Had he known this unimaginable event would happen, if he had known he’d lose Myungsoo like this, he would have said it earlier. He should have said it; those three words, that 8-letter phrase before he lost him.

He should’ve said ‘I love you’ before he was gone.

this is like the third time I open up a story with a scene
anyway, how's the beginning? hope I didn't lose anyone... 
What do you think'll happen next? OuO