sorry no time to edit much for now...lol.

"Are you going out today?"

"Huh?" I stared questioningly at Miss Lee, a nurse that had been assigned to assist me frequently.

"Going out? You mean...discharged?"

"Yeah, well, the doctor just talked to your spouse and the doctor seemed satisfied with your progress and think you're fit to stay home already."

Home? No, not now. Wait, did she just said...

"Spouse?"

But I don't have any.

"Yeah, he's a good man. Definitely doesn't deserved to be cheated on." She finished without sparing me another glance and walked out of the room.

Spouse? Cheated? What have I done to deserve all these weird accusations?

A knock at the door made me look to the direction again after Miss Lee had left. He entered...

"The doctor said you can be discharged already."

...My spouse, so called. Whom I 'cheated' on. Huh. I wonder if someone just got some crisis with their own spouse to be talking like that to an innocent patient who's not even married or in a relationship with one person, let alone two or more to be called a cheater.

"Jiwoo ssi, are you alright?"

"Y...yeah. It's just that..."

"You don't want to go home yet?"

"How did you know?"

"Didn't you talk the other day about that girl you're worrying about."

"Well, kind of...but..."

"I told the doctor to let you stay and that you needed more therapy."

"You did? Why?"

"Because...don't you want that? To spend more time with her as long as you're able to?"

I wanted that. It's exactly what I want.

"But...how did you know? I hardly told you anything."

"Maybe, it's because I have good understanding of people's behaviour." The somewhat scientific or rather, politically correct manner of his answer made me laughed and then I realized he's smiling again. And I realized I kind of missed that comforting smile on his face.

"In other words, you're saying I'm easy."

"No, no. I didn't mean that. It's just that..."

"I was just joking, ...Jerry ssi. Thank you for the help. And I'm sorry for all the troubles and if the doctors or nurses mistaken you as...uhm, my relative or something." Somehow I couldn't bring myself to mention the word spouse. I didn't want him to think I was being the desperate old woman everyone always label me as, and trying to hit on him with those subtle coy advances.

"I don't mind at all. Anyway, there's this...wedding party coming up next month...and I was wondering...well...can you go with me?"

"Me?"

He nodded and smiled again. The smile that often caught me offguard and led me to agree to everything he said or proposed.

"I...I'll think it over?"

Why did I feel this way now?

"Hey, Unnie...missed me?"

"July! Where have you been? Everytime I went to your room, the nurses kept saying you're on treatment."

"Yeah...those doctors are quite dumb, they knew I'd be going away soon yet they insisted for those darn tests and treatments." She made an exaggerated expression and shook her head. Dramatic as always but the subject never failed to bring gloom no matter how much gusto she approach it with.

"Besides, you're busy with that nerdy oppa boyfriend of yours."

"He's not, my boyfriend. And the doctors, they're trying. You shouldn't give up till it's really over."

"Why isn't he your boyfriend yet? Unnie, do you like someone else, Or is he married? No, no...but Prince Charming couldn't be married to anyone but Cinderella." She went on mumbling to herself.

As usual, avoiding the subject of herself by bringing the focus back to myself, is always her method. I sighed, feeling a bitter pang inside of me, of what that action could mean  - she really had given up on her own life. Even when the whole of people around her refused to give up on her.

"Unnie, what kind of love do you want to experience?" That's July for you, ever with her randomness. But she wouldn't be satisfied until you give her topic a response. I knew I should at least give it a thought.

But love? Do I even still have a chance at love? Chances don't come and go everyday. And now, I'm back to where I was. Back to square one. Nowhere. Well, maybe I do have a chance now, but I still couldn't shake off this feeling that I had lost it. And I'm just tired I didn't even feel like trying or even hoping for it anymore. Life, love, and everything is fated. If they'd come, they would eventually come. But if they don't...no matter how I try or work for it...maybe I'm just making excuses. Mother always said that, and maybe I really am. But what can I do? 

I only shrugged it off.

"What about you? What kind of love do you hope to experience?" I felt bad asking it, but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment to take the subject away from myself. I regretted it, thinking of her situation. But it was too late to take it back, and apologizing would only make her feel bad.

But surprisingly, she responded with her ever bright smile.

"I was waiting for you to ask that! Me...I want...a love like Romeo and Juliet. Ommo, so romantic! My Romeo~" She clasped her pale, skinny hands together as if not worried they would break, when it gave me such fright. How come I never noticed how frail her hands look, or had they become smaller and weaker from the treatments she went through?

Then I realized she was staring at me with question mark stamped on her face.

"Uhm...but... why...what's so great about Romeo and Juliet? They're young and stupid, reckless. And they even died together for ridiculous reason."

"That's the reason! Someone who would be with me and accompany me even when I die...wouldn't that be perfectly romantic?"

The words stunned me, and stung at my heart again. I couldn't show it. July wouldn't like anything gloomy. She's just too bright like July's Sun to accept being clouded with sympathy, worries nor tears.

"But...they don't even seem like they know love."

"Does it matter? Who cares if he's dumb or ugly or fat or old or if he dislike me? At least he'd die with me. I just don't want to be alone...there. It's too scary." Her voice lowered towards the end, lower than it had ever been, and then I realized she was struggling to hold back her tears and be strong when she's breaking apart.

I pulled her shoulders closer and embraced her shaking figure. If she didn't want to be seen crying, I wouldn't see it.

"Nobody would dislike someone like you, you're like a ray of morning sunshine. Only idiots would...so don't be with an idiot, okay."

She nodded.

"You'll get well, and you'll find someone better than Romeo. Your own Prince Charming. Okay?"

I could feel her shaking her head to left and right.

"You will get well...you will live..." I wasn't sure if I was telling blatant lies I myself knew not of. But it was the only thing I could think of as I felt her hands tightening the grasp around my body.

And she shook her head again.

"Was it painful? The treatments?"

She nodded, still without a word. Only the material covering my shoulder was getting damper by the minute, and I kept patting her head, at a loss of what else to be done.

After awhile, only did she started talking again, no longer struggling to keep the tears in, and much calmer.

"Unnie, just promise me, after I go, if ever you mention my name, make sure you call me Juliet, and no longer July, okay."

"But you're July."

"No...I never really have a proper name...since I grew up in the orphanage not even knowing my own parents...so it doesn't matter what my name is, but I just want to make sure my Romeo would be able to find me, and be with me so that I won't be alone for too long."

"But..."

"Promise me."

I nodded unwillingly. And then she was happy again. And started talking brightly again, about random unrelated things, as if the morbid topic of her afterlife was never present.

"By the way Unnie, that nerdy ahjussi...I mean, oppa...is nice, but what about that guy who always visit you? Poor him."

"What? What do you mean?"

"The guy who always come and visit you, I told you about it already."

"Well, yeah...that nerdy ahjussi...as you call him, though really, he has a name. It's...Jerry." I recalled my own weird reaction when he first introduced his name. It doesn't seem like a name that would suit him. But he said, he's been using that name ever since living abroad. Well, it's still better than not having any name to call him with.

"Jerry. Hahah, that's so cute. Like a mouse." She giggled her beautiful laugh.

"That's mean." He definitely doesn't resemble a mouse...at all. In fact, he's very pleasing to the eyes, unlike a rat.

"But he's not the person I saw everyday, visiting like burglar in odd hours outside of visiting time."

"What? Then...who?"

"Duh...how would I know? How many boyfriends do you have, Unnie? Yah, I'm jealous!"

I pouted. She made it sound nice, when the truth is, I had none...wait...if it's not...him, it couldn't be him, could it?

No, it couldn't. He didn't even seem like he knew I'm hospitalized.

But then, who?

"Oh...Unnie...I forgot something..."

I stared at her, still lost.

"Here..." She handed me a piece of paper. There's a drawing that looked like just some doodling. Definitely not a Picasso or Van Gogh in the making.

"What's this?"

"That guy...who I always saw, he left it one of the days when he came. You're lying in coma at that time. I was worried it'd be lost when the nurses come to clean up the room...so I took it with me, but then I forgot to give it to you earlier. Now, I remembered it. Sorry, Unnie."

"It's alright." I ruffled her beanie covered hair and took a closer look at the drawing, trying to find a clue. I might need to thank this person though it really was unnecessary to come visit everyday. 

There's just a tree that has only one leaf left hanging, and some other scenery I couldn't quite understand.

And then i noticed something. The carving on one of the rectangle pieces that resembled something I'm familiar with. The carving on a certain wood plank.

So it really was...could it really be...but then why did...

The questions piled one atop of the other, not even giving time for each to be properly formed.

"Unnie, why did you look pale? Are you sick?"

I shook my head.

Why was he here?

"Unnie, should we call for the doctor?"

I shook my head.

If he knew, then how could he acted that way? Why?

"Unnie, it's okay then. I'll accompany you, okay." She held my hands but I couldn't feel it.

I need to ask him. What's even the meaning of that stupid drawing?

"I...I think...I need to go out for a short while...do you think you can help me?"

"Unnie...but...you're not well, can't you just stay? How about going out tomorrow?"

"I...just for a short while." My eyes pleaded to her. And she finally gave in, with a half smile, ruffling my hair.

"Okay then. But come back quickly okay." She held out a pinky and I sealed the deal with my vivacious friend.

"And...as usual...you can't go out without the fashionista's collection. Wait, I'll get perfect clothes for you."

"I don't think that's a good ide..." She was no longer inside the room.

I sighed to myself and stared at the drawing again.

I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or if running away from the Prince Charming's ball for a churl is a good idea. Not even glass slippers could give me a happily ever after if I couldn't give what a Cinderella should, to her Prince Charming.

I wish Prince Charming wouldn't have been so charming, and Cinderella wouldn't have been too reckless or ambitious. Then, no fairy tale would've ever taken place, and instead of happily ever after or the extreme opposite, there would just be same old average everyday.

so, one guy now has a name...like it? lol. please ask if there's any confusion...