ok guys, let's have a guessing game...if anyone's reading lol...if you can guess which idol/celebrity the July girl is inspired by/represented by, correctly...I'll send you 39 karmapoints without notice. xD...but...i won't tell whether you get right/wrong and you can only guess once...so if you guess and you get 39 points from me, then it means your guess is correct...if anyone got it right at first guess...it'll be revealed-one character will be out of mysterious-identity zone. anyone up for this challenge? (don't ask for hints cuz i always leave clues...if you look closely...lol)

-End of guessing period-sorry, thanks~

anyway, sorry for late update...i had the whole plot inside my head but i somehow struggled so hard to write...lesigh...there's supposed to be 2 more chapters...but i'm not sure if i can manage by end of July or if the plot will be cut n shortened...-_-...

"Unnie, am I disturbing you? Are you going to sleep soon?"

"No...just come in if you can't sleep. I might be able to bore you until you get sleepy." I signalled her to enter my room.

A week had passed since that night. Because of her, always knocking on my door, I never had the time to wallow in useless silly thoughts or worries of what to expect now in this state. Everyday, I'd be sheduled for some therapy sessions and nobody would answer me properly when I said that I needed to be discharged to resume work or I'd lose my job. They kept telling me not to worry and that recovering fully is more important at the moment and that my job could wait.

Yeah, I guess they forgot that they're not dealing with a nineteen year old taking on a first job or something. 

I need to know the truth, but problem is, ever since they discovered I went out the other day, and I fell sick the next day, they had been increasing the security level so to speak. The only way for me to find out what's going on would be by fully recovering and show it to them so I'd gain back my freedom. It's almost all too ridiculous to treat an almost fourty year old woman like a teenager or worse, a kid.

"Yah, Unnie, you could never bore me even if you try."

I moved to one side of the bed, making some space and patted it, signalling her to sit, but she only waved it off and dragged the visitor chair nearer to my bed instead.

"So...what do you want to talk about today, young girl?"

"Yah, Unnie...I'm not that young. I'm already twenty-five."

"Really? You never said it before. You look nineteen though, or younger."

She giggled before giving me a slap on the arm.

"Yah, Unnie...is that a compliment?"

I nodded.

But it only took a blink of an eye for her expression to change.

"Maybe it's because...the last I've lived in the real world, was when I was nineteen...final year in school. Ever since then, I'd been confined here in this castle...so maybe the hospital air made me couldn't grow older. I'm Peter Pan! And this hospital is my Neverland!"

She pumped her fists and even held one hand high in the air like some superhero gesture. But somehow, her quirky antics were quickly dilluted by the revelation that came with it.

"You've been here...for six years? Why? What's your real sickness? You never told me..."

"Just...some virus...I don't really know..."

"You don't know..." I repeated, unconvinced and perhaps, she could hear it in my tone as well.

"Really. Even the doctors didn't know. The only thing I know is..." She paused and gave her ever dazzling smile, though this time, there seemed to be hesitation somewhere behind it.

"...Is that I'm going to leave soon."

"Leave? You're going to be discharged?"

"No. I'm going to leave this world."

"Yah, that's not funny, July."

"No, it's not. Well, kind of. But yeah, I don't know exactly when, but the doctors have calculated that I only have until this month to live. That's why I want to be called July, so people will at least remember the month I departed to my new land of fairy tale where happy ending is boundless, I will meet my prince and never die...again."

"That's...really...not funny."

"Unnie, I'll remember you as my last best friend on Earth. Even though I'm very certain I won't be your last best friend on Earth, and I don't want to be that, I hope, you'll remember me sometimes." She smiled again, this time, letting out the bitterness that was never present. Or maybe it was just the impact on me after such a shocking revelation that rendered me speechless other than mumbling it wasn't funny, which, of course it's not.

"But..." I did not know how to continue. And perhaps she knew it, for she reached for my hand and held it.

"But...we've just met and being friends for like a week or so...how...how would I be able to remember you if you just leave?"

Maybe if I try to motivate her enough to keep on living, she would live. As stupid as that possibility was, I had to try. She's so young, so beautiful, so vibrant and cheerful. How is it possible for her to suddenly die? All my rational thinking just flew to the unknown because of the shock.

"That's why I'm disturbing you everyday and every time I could, so that you would not be able to forget me. Hee."

She could still joke of her own death, yet the tears welling in her eyes and bursting in the quiet droplets, even whilst she was still smiling couldn't betray her feelings.

"Bad girl." I wiped her tears, trying the hardest to held in my own.

"So, when I remember and misses you because you've made me remember you, what would I do? Who should I go to? Silly. Bad girl."

"Well, when you think of me, just be happy. Because that's what I'd be doing in the other world. And go to the person you loved, because I'd be with my loved one too. So don't be such a loner. Give a chance to yourself."

I shook my head. Somehow, there's nothing I could answer in return. How could she be so cheerful and assured of her direction when she's facing the most feared unknown of all - death? How could I never realized how frightening death could be?

Maybe it's because, it's more frightening for those left behind, wondering how would they face the days after losing, and when would it be their turn, and how they would face it. Back then, whenever I go to the river, I'd wonder how long I'd live once I'd be under the water, how long would I suffer before I could die, and if there's any better way to die. I wondered now if I dared to even think the way I did, because I knew deep inside, I never would have the courage to face it. But this girl...

"Am I disturbing...oh, sorry, I didn't notice you have visitor." He bowed and retracted from the room's entrance.

Though of course a certain someone would not let that happen.

"No, no, Ahjuss...I mean...Oppa, I was just going to leave. I'm so sleepy but Unnie wanted to talk with somebody so she forced me to stay. How about you take my place?"

"Yah, July..." I gritted my teeth and stretched my eyes wider at her, though knowing it wouldn't scare her or change her plan.

"I'll see you later Unnie, you have to tell me all about this guy okay. Yah, how can you have so many guys? Aish..."

Firmly she removed my grasp on her wrist and skipped her way out of the room. Truthfully, I felt conflicted. I didn't want to be drawn apart from her, yet it was a relief that she left. I didn't know what or how to feel nor think. How would you feel and what would anyone do, if suddenly someone who had nimbly paved way into your life suddenly said they're leaving, and with a bright smile at that? If even the thought of someone you've built attachment to in a short while could leave you feeling like this, how would it feel leaving or being left by those you've sepnt your whole life with? How would it feel if I had taken my own life selfishly, leaving mother alone, when so many kids with supposedly brighter future out there, as bright as their shining eyes, had no choice but to bow down to fate that they'd have none of those bright future? What could her mother possibly felt? So many disturbing thoughts and questions. I was afraid if I let her disappear from before my eyes, I wouldn't see her again, yet at the same time, I was afraid on how to act in front of her without making her felt like things were no longer the same now that she had dropped the bomb. Afraid of the ever growing number of questions begging to be answered and the hard hitting realizations that came one after another. 

She's the only one who could act like everything was perfectly alright.

"Sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have done that."

"Huh...well, it's okay. I understand. I didn't keep my promise."

"You're involved in accident. It was a stupid thing to be upset at you because of that and left when you had just woken up."

I said nothing in return. My mind was still very much bothered by July's revelation and just the concept of life and death in general.

"Besides, everything went well with the play."

I nodded, while my mind scrambled to register what I've just heard. What play? I just couldn't concentrate on anything. Not now.

"I see you might need some time alone now, so I'll be going..." He stood up from the chair he sat on.

"No, no. It's just..." It's not like I wanted him to stay, but I didn't want to make him feel unwelcomed either.

"It's just that I'm thinking of some other people...and life..and death."

"That girl just now?"

I nodded and only watched helplessly as he settled down again. How could he be so good at guessing? And probably...at everything? 

"Well...life is unpredictable. Miracles can happen at the time you least expect you know?" He pushed his glasses frame farther up his nose.

"Do you believe in miracle?"

"Well...at one time, I stopped believing in it. Maybe because I was so upset at that time..."

I tried to picture him being upset, but eversince we met, which wasn't that long ago either, but didn't felt so, he had been nothing but nice and warm and friendly, that I couldn't even imagine the possibility of him being upset about anything or to anyone. He's like a pond, calm and unshakeable. Not like the sea, or waterfall leading to river, where you could never predict what would happen next.

"But then again...there are so many miracles in life. Meeting you is one of them."

"What? Why me?"

"I'll come again tomorrow. Rest well and don't worry too much about the future. Every day we grow, everyday we meet new people and be separated from people, everyday there's births and deaths, we can never tell the future, that's why we should treasure the moment we live in and not losing hope. Because you never know if miracle would come knocking on your door the next day, where it come from, and how." He smiled and and got up to leave.

This time I didn't stop him.

Everything, or most of the things he said was the truth. 

They almost made me want to seek comfort in believing. But reality and life, most time, and for many people, all the time, is not made of miracles. Many lived their whole life not even knowing the meaning of miracle beyond what's stated in dictionaries and fairy tales. How could I so cowardly try to shield myself behind illusion of beautiful miracle come true, when a certain Peter Pan(who's also, a Fairy Godmother) so bravely accepted her ugly fated reality with broad smile and twinkling eyes, as if she'd keep living for another thousand years while inwardly, having given up life entirely?

I wish Peter Pan would never have to grow up, ever, if that means she could keep living with her vibrant outlook on life. Would this childish illogical miracle be too much for me to hope for?