Baekhyun finally closed his laptop and breathed a sigh of relief. He spent the entire morning inventorying the restaurant, unpacking and storing shipments of food, and going through the Quickbooks of financial data he recorded and calculated on the restaurant.

Baekhyun still wasn’t sure how he got saddled with the administrative work of the restaurant. Opening the restaurant was Daehyun’s dream, not Baekhyun’s. He’d been happy as a music therapist, but when Daehyun became overwhelmed with the business and couldn’t afford to hire any more help, Baekhyun quit his job to help his husband. The restaurant was in a better place now, and Baekhyun calculated that they could afford to hire a business manager, at least part-time, but Daehyun continued to drag his feet about it. For what, Baekhyun couldn’t understand, and it was the source of many fights between the two.

Since their last argument about opening another location, the two didn’t bring up any more potential business decisions, even though Baekhyun’s heart still longed for that beautiful 5,000 square foot storefront, right in the heart of the business district.

It was just past 2 p.m. that Saturday and the lunchtime rushed had finally died down. Baekhyun packed up his laptop and left the storage room. Daehyun was cleaning the grills in the kitchen while Youngjae cleaned up the tables from customers who had just left.

Youngjae was a great worker, always friendly and attentive to customers, but Baekhyun couldn’t help but let the chumminess between Youngjae and Daehyun get under his skin. The two were always sharing inside jokes and laughing about some little thing that happened while Baekhyun was away. It was innocent, at least from Daehyun, but it felt like Youngjae wanted something more.

Just as Baekhyun was pondering the possible infidelity of the situation, his phone buzzed with a notification. He unlocked it to see that Chanyeol had sent him a smiley face emoji.

Baekhyun started talking to Chanyeol again. Baekhyun called him under the guise of consulting him in regards to the legal affairs of possibly renting two storefronts because, conveniently, Chanyeol practiced real estate law. In actuality, Baekhyun wanted to hear Chanyeol’s voice again. There was something about Chanyeol. Talking to him was like going back in time, in a time where Baekhyun had no responsibilities.

But the conversations between the two were truly platonic. They would talk about work, family, and whatever else they’d been doing with their lives since they’d last seen each other. After graduating from law school, Chanyeol spent time traveling around the country before finally settling down in a large condo in the city, one that Baekhyun admired for years. Chanyeol would take frequent trips around the world, a freedom Baekhyun was envious of, but their conversations never delved into romantic territory. They didn’t even reminisce about the old days of their relationship. And Daehyun knew they were talking again. He didn’t seem to have an issue with it. He appeared to appreciate the insight Chanyeol was providing with their real estate investments.

Still, this singular emoji-filled Baekhyun with feelings of hypocrisy. Could he judge his husband for joking around with a coworker when he was speaking to an ex again?

“Hey honey,” Daehyun called to Baekhyun, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Baekhyun locked the phone again and slid it back into his pocket.

“What’s up?” Baekhyun asked, sitting in one of the bar stools. Daehyun leaned on the counter. “Before you leave for today, I just wanted to say I’ve been thinking. We should rent the new storefront.”

Baekhyun smiled at the revelation. “What made you change your mind? Seeing your poor husband struggle to find space for the new shipments?”

Daehyun snorted away the snarky comment. “I’ve just been thinking about why I don’t want to expand when we are in the position to. I like being in the store 24/7, cooking most of the food, seeing customers enjoy it. I love you being here. Watching you charm everyone who comes in. I love that “family restaurant,” feel. Another store seemed like I’d be moving away from that. But we really should try to expand operations, especially with rent being so surprisingly cheap in that part of town. And with Chanyeol saying there’s good tax incentives for business rentals down there.”

Baekhyun felt a shiver hearing Daehyun mentioned Chanyeol’s name, but he couldn’t quite explain it.

“I’ll call the realtor Monday. See what we can work out,” Baekhyun said.

Daehyun reached for Baekhyun’s hands over the counter and squeezed them. “I couldn’t do any of this without you, baby. You’ve been my rock throughout this entire thing.”

Daehyun leaned over the counter and kissed him.

“You’re such a sap,” Baekhyun teased.

“You like my sappiness. I make Valentine’s Day special every year,” Daehyun countered.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “I’m going home to do some chores. I’ll come back later to finish inventorying.”

“No, I’ll finish it tonight after the store closes. I’m helping Youngjae close since he’s been working a double shift with Jin on that camping trip.”

“You sure?”

“I’ll be good. You take the night off. You’ll have the house to yourself for once,” Daehyun reassured.

Baekhyun relented and headed out of the restaurant. As he left, he turned around to see Youngjae take his seat at the bar and start joking with Daehyun. Baekhyun could feel the familiar rush of envy, then shame, fill his body.

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Baekhyun laid on the couch, vegetating while watching some nature documentary about pandas. He spent the afternoon deep cleaning the house after weeks of putting off chores. He reminisced on how he used to play all kinds of sports, but now he was sore and aching from just scrubbing the bathtubs. Maybe it was time to invest in a gym membership.

Just as Baekhyun was starting to dose off to the narrator describing the migratory patterns of pandas, his phone rang. Baekhyun groaned and walked to the kitchen counter where his phone sat. It was Chanyeol.

Baekhyun contemplated whether he should answer. Every text message and call he answered from Chanyeol felt like he was stepping closer and closer to a ticking time bomb. But his heart still skipped a beat in excitement whenever he saw Chanyeol’s number pop up on his phone. So he always answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Chanyeol. How are you?”

“I’m good, how about you?”

“Doing alright. I just called to say I’m in your neighborhood and was wondering if you and Daehyun would like to go out for a drink or something? I’m sure you both have had a busy week and need to destress.”

“Daehyun’s staying late at work tonight and he hits the bed right when gets home. I doubt he’ll like to go out.”

Chanyeol sighed. “That’s too bad. Maybe just us then? Or are you going to cuddle up in your robe and hit the bed at eight, old man?”

Baekhyun’s heart jumped, whether from nervousness or excitement, he couldn’t tell. Spending the evening alone with Chanyeol seemed like stepping directly on the bomb. Maybe he was just overthinking it. After all, none of their conversations so far were scandalous. And Baekhyun didn’t even know if Chanyeol was single or in a relationship. He never mentioned it. Maybe they truly were just friends.

“I don’t know. Going to sleep at eight sounds pretty good to me.”

“C’mon, old man. I’ll pay for everything,” Chanyeol offered in a teasing voice.

Baekhyun thought out about agonizing over the ordeal for a little bit, but he decided it would be a waste of energy and agreed to go out with Chanyeol. It was just going to be a few drinks between friends, nothing more than that.

Baekhyun texted Daehyun that he would be going out with a friend tonight. Daehyun responded with a smiley face.

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Baekhyun drove to a ritzy area where the bar they agreed upon was located. Even though it was only a few blocks away from his own neighborhood, there was a clear difference in the looks of pedestrians. In his neighborhood, the sidewalks were mostly middle-aged working-class and kids, but this neighborhood had a clear appeal to twenty-somethings who were looking for a good time.

Baekhyun parked his car and walked a few streets over to the bar. Stepping inside, he was greeted by music from a live band and the smell of strong liquor. The place was far from the dive bar Chanyeol described it to be. It had incredibly high ceilings, brick walls, and modern light fixtures. The bar was sleek, dark wood with glass shelves on the wall that held scores of fine liquor. Despite the contemporary décor, the patrons appeared to be of an older crowd, a stark contrast from all the young people roaming the streets outside.

Baekhyun found Chanyeol sitting at the far end of the bar, already drinking a beer.

“You saving this seat for anyone?” Baekhyun asked as he walked over to Chanyeol. Chanyeol jumped a little before readjusting his shirt collar and smiling at Baekhyun. Chanyeol was wearing a handsome dark blue blazer paired with a white turtleneck and dark wash jeans. Baekhyun suddenly felt drab in his simple red button up and gray chinos.

“You’re here earlier than I expected. I thought it would take you a little longer.”

Baekhyun sat down in the stool next to him. “This place isn’t too far from my house and traffic wasn’t terrible tonight,” Baekhyun ordered a beer while settling into his stool. “You described this place like it was a hole in the wall. It’s very nice.”

Chanyeol swallowed another sip of his drink. “Comparatively, I guess. This is one of the last original spots around here. Everything else has closed down and been bought out by new clubs and restaurants. They renovated to appeal to the younger crowd, but as you can see, all the whiskey-drinking old heads still hang around here.”

Baekhyun his teeth. “Of course you keep with the real estate development around here.”

“What can I say? Extensive market research keeps the clients happy.”

The bartender brought Baekhyun his beer while Chanyeol ordered another. They made small talk about their day. Chanyeol had spent his day off catching up on leasing agreements he couldn’t read during the week. Baekhyun told him about his exciting day of inventory before a lull in the conversation formed.

“Oh!” Chanyeol finally said, reaching for something in his pocket. He brought out his phone and pulled up a picture. “You’re now speaking to the proud uncle of a beautiful baby girl,” Chanyeol said, displaying the picture of a little baby in a pink knitted onesie.

“She’s precious!” Baekhyun cooed. “She’s got your nose already.”

Chanyeol grinned. “No one can escape the classic Park nose.”

 “Have you met her yet?”

Chanyeol turned off the screen and slid the phone back into his pocket. “Not yet, my sister and her husband live down south. I think I’ll swing by there in a few weeks after I come back from the US. Did I tell you I’m going there?”

Baekhyun took another sip of his beer. “Yeah, you told me. I’m very jealous.”

Chanyeol snorted. “I’m not going anywhere interesting. Just to Georgia to visit some friends out there.”

Baekhyun shook his head. “It’s not that. You’re able to pick up and leave whenever you want. Don’t have to consult with family or anything beforehand or think about the finances.”

Chanyeol stayed silent for a little bit. “I don’t know. It seems nice to have a family to worry about you.”

Baekhyun rotated his wedding band around his finger. “It’s not that I don’t want my family to care about me. It’s just that…” Baekhyun trailed off. He wasn’t sure if he should be getting so personal with his ex-boyfriend from college. He looked up to see Chanyeol focused on him. He took another sip of beer. Baekhyun figured Chanyeol was as good of a person to talk to as anyone else at that moment.

“It’s just that I haven’t had much alone time in my adult life.”

Chanyeol finished off his second beer. “Hmm, what do you mean by that?”

Baekhyun turned his gaze directly in front of him. “I’ve just never really been alone, not in a relationship in my life, you know?” Baekhyun gestured between the two of them, “I started dating you during freshmen year and then we broke up. I’d only been single for a couple of weeks before meeting Daehyun. And then we were together for less than two years before we got married. Then Daehyun wanted a baby and he was able to find a surrogate to carry Taehyung, so I agreed. I was a dad at twenty-five. Taehyung’s the love of my life, but we moved fast.”

Baekhyun stopped talking. He gauged whether he had told Chanyeol too much of his personal life and made him uncomfortable. But Chanyeol looked more like he was contemplating something.

“You want to know why I reached out to you again?” Chanyeol asked.

“Why?”

 “I contacted you because I had a health scare last year.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows in concern and confusion. Chanyeol declined the bartender’s offer to top off his glass again.

“I went to the doctor because I was feeling tired for a while. When I got there, the doctors were unsure of what was wrong with me. They were running all these tests and rattling off the names of these scary diseases. And it scared me of course, but it made me think, ‘What did I have to show for this life I was living?’ ‘What would I leave behind?’ I really couldn’t think of anything.”

Chanyeol stopped to think for a moment. He asked the bartender for a glass of water. Chanyeol took a sip before starting again.

“And something else I thought about was how lonely I’ve been for so long. I thought about all the relationships I’ve been in. A lot of them weren’t relationships, just hookups I was dragging out. When I thought about the people I truly loved, my mind always came back to the thought of you.”

Baekhyun felt like a brick hit him. If Chanyeol had said this twenty years ago, he would have been elated. He would have taken him back in a heartbeat. But now he sat in the middle of a bar with his husband and son always on the back of his mind. He didn’t know how to feel.

Chanyeol, sensing Baekhyun’s unease, began speaking again. “It turned out to be nothing. The health scare, I mean. My high stress, high smoking lifestyle was causing a lot of strain on my heart. I stopped smoking and reduced some of my workloads, and I started to feel better.”

“That’s good to hear. I always hated that you smoked,” Baekhyun said, not knowing what else to say.

Chanyeol let out a little laugh. “Yeah, I know.” He took a sip of his water. “But I still thought about you. I decided to look you up and there you were: the typical Facebook dad. Posting all about your family.”

Baekhyun nudged him slightly. “I’m not that bad.” He wasn’t an extreme Facebook dad. He just had a lot of family members he didn’t see frequently and wanted to keep them updated on the latest happenings with his family.

Chanyeol smiled. “No, it’s cute to how proud you are of your family, but it made me jealous. Seeing you with this happy little family that you created. I want that for myself. And it made me want to see how you were, talk to you again, so I did.”

Baekhyun stared at his fingers. He began twiddling his wedding band again. He wasn’t sure what to say to any of this.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said.

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For being so mean and standoffish when you first contacted me.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “It’s fine. I came out of nowhere and contacted you again. I definitely could’ve brought it up better.”

Baekhyun sighed. “It’s not that either. It’s just that you brought back up all these feelings that I thought I was over, or at least suppressed. But when you contacted me, it all came flooding back. Overwhelmed me. I guess I was mad at myself for not being over it and took it out on you.”

“You did always know how to hold a grudge. But I get it. I was an to you. You always deserved someone better than me.”

Daehyun was his “someone better,” but thinking of him hurt.

The thought of his husband made Baekhyun check his watch. It was a quarter past ten. Daehyun would be home around midnight.

“I should get going. It’s way past my bedtime.”

Chanyeol finished his water and called the bartender for the check.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Chanyeol offered. Baekhyun saw no reason to decline.

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As they walked to the parking deck, they encountered a large line on the sidewalk. Chanyeol looked up to read the sign.

“Oh right, this is the new club that opened up here.”

Baekhyun looked up to read the sign. “The Scene,” the sign read in huge, flashing letters.

“We should go in,” Chanyeol suggested.

Baekhyun widened his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Baekhyun looked down at his outfit. “I don’t think I’m dressed in club attire.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “It’s a dance club. You don’t have to be dressed to the nines.”

Baekhyun sighed. “Will we even get in? I don’t want to wait all night in a line just to get turned down.”

“I helped the owner secure the building contract for this place. I’m sure I can find a way in.”

And with that, Chanyeol bypassed the line and headed to the bouncer. Baekhyun felt awkward skipping ahead and thought this would be a futile effort on Chanyeol’s part, but it wasn’t. Chanyeol began flashing a series of cards in front of the bouncer, leading to him opening the rope barrier. Baekhyun could do nothing but stare in disbelief and follow Chanyeol inside.

It was nearly ten years since Baekhyun last went to a club. It was for a friend’s birthday party and he spent the entire time worrying over whether Taehyung was happy with the new babysitter.

But the club hadn’t changed much in the years since Baekhyun had been. It was the same strobe lights, the same go-go dancers, the same DJs spinning party tracks. It was just a newer generation ready to get drunk and get laid.

Chanyeol led him to the bar and flashed another card at the bartender. This time, he bartender came back with a round of shots.

“Shots? Really? I have to drive myself back home.” Baekhyun yelled over the loud music.

Chanyeol took two and handed one to Baekhyun. “Just one. Just to loosen your inhibitions. And I’ll call an Uber if you get too drunk.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and took a shot. Tequila. Baekhyun took it straight, no chaser. He let it burn, hoping it would wake him up or give him some clarity has to why he was in a club with an ex-boyfriend from twenty years ago.

Chanyeol gave the rest of the round to some eager college kids and grabbed Baekhyun’s hands.

“Dance with me,” Chanyeol yelled over the music.

And like it had been for the rest of the night had been, Baekhyun let him walk him out to the dance floor. Baekhyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t having fun tonight. So much of Baekhyun’s and Daehyun’s time went to the restaurant. They rarely got to spend much time not working. And when they weren’t working, they were thinking about work or fussing over something with Taehyung. There were rare times when they could just be a couple again.

But with Chanyeol, there was none of that stress. He could look into his face and not think of all the responsibilities he needed to do. Chanyeol was like a time machine, jumping through space where he could be free again.

They squeezed past some sweaty, grinding bodies just to end up in another thicket of people. Baekhyun didn’t dance much nowadays besides doing a simple two-step or slow dancing with Daehyun. But he tried his best to feel the beat of the music and move with the groove of the club. Chanyeol blended in easily. He didn’t look a day over thirty and he could keep up with the rest of the club goers.

As they were dancing, Chanyeol began to step closer and closer. Baekhyun could easily smell his cologne, some mixture of bergamot and woody notes. Baekhyun closed his eyes and continued swaying to the music.

Soon enough he felt Chanyeol’s warm breath next to his ear. Baekhyun’s heart began pounding in his chest.

“I miss you,” was all Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun said nothing when he felt Chanyeol’s lips on his. He didn’t push him away when Chanyeol’s hands held his face. He wanted him at that moment, or at least he thought he did, but the feeling he received from the kiss was unexpected. Baekhyun thought kissing Chanyeol would light a burning blaze in him, but instead, the intensity seemed to have been met ice, cooling the desire inside of him.

Then he thought of Daehyun. He thought of how happy he’d get whenever a new recipe turned out well, or how he couldn’t finish telling a joke because of laughing so hard. He thought about the nights they’d spend on the patio, staring at the stars, dreaming of what to do next. He thought about how much he loved him.

Baekhyun moved his lips away from Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol quickly moved his lips back to Baekhyun’s ear.

 “Please come home with me.”

Baekhyun’s eyes began to swell with tears and he shook his head. He moved his mouth towards Chanyeol’s ear.

“You know I can’t.”

Baekhyun returned his face towards Chanyeol. He could see the look of defeat in his eyes. Baekhyun turned away from him, walking towards the exit.

Chanyeol didn’t follow.