A/N: lmao i've abandoned this for quite a few months. don't worry, i've already created my list of excuses. 1) senior year . idk why people said this would be fun bc I have been stressed since school started in august 2) college applications took forever 3) i decided to take some college courses which have taken up a lot of my time 4) i got a job which 5) senior year i can't stress this enough. Now that school is coming to an end (i GRADUATE IN 5 WEEKS AHHH), i'm wrapping up my college courses, i've quit my job, and i've been accepted to college, I have much more free time. This chapter has been 9 months in the making, I guess you could say it's my little baby, and it's really long. I hope to have chapter seven published by the end of april and i can confirm that it will be a very exciting chapter, so please anticipate. Please forgive me for my absence, and I hope you enjoy this. ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

Taehyung sat on Hoseok’s bed reading a men’s magazine he found in the room. He read an article on how to create the perfect six-pack in less than six weeks without diet or exercise. It was a spectacular article; one didn’t have to move at all to create the perfect, sculpted core.

“Okay, so this time only five pizza rolls exploded. Next time we might be able to lower the temperature five more degrees and none of them will burst,” Hoseok announced, entering the room with a plate of steaming rolls.

Hoseok popped a pizza roll into his mouth, and quickly spit it back out on a paper towel. “They’re still hot as , though.”

Taehyung carefully bit into a roll and blew on the inside. “Satan’s preferred snack.”

Hoseok sat on the floor. “We’ve spent way too much time trying to perfect the temperature of pizza rolls. Now that you seem to be living at my house,” Hoseok said. “Why are you always here anyway? Just to see my impeccable beauty?”

Taehyung snorted at the absurdity of his statement even though it was absolutely true. “I get free pizza rolls here. Dad doesn’t believe in microwavable food.”

Hoseok pulled Taehyung to the floor and hugged him. “It least I get to have you more often.”

A flush of excitement and embarrassment engulfed Taehyung then. The feeling dissipated quickly after Hoseok let go, but he wanted him to hang on for just a little bit longer, just to feel him for a bit longer.

In the month and three weeks since “The Swaggiest Party Mankind has Ever Seen,” as Yoongi named it, Taehyung spent the time going over Hoseok’s exact words and motions, trying to find some hint of desire in them. A way to let Taehyung become aware of Hoseok’s position in this relationship, be it a friend or lover, but the man was an enigma. Most days Hoseok sat there, smiling like an idiot, laughing at every joke he heard, expressing no clues of whether he felt anything other than pure, inexplicable happiness. Hoseok treated him with such care and affection that it must have been love. He always made sure Taehyung got home safely, or reminded Taehyung to eat that day, or drink enough water. Maybe these things weren’t inherently romantic to the average person, but to Taehyung, they stirred his heart, ignited the sensation in his heart. But Hoseok always walked the steady line between friendship and lover, never directly stepping into the territory his admirer wished him to. Taehyung found the whole act of trying to understand Jung Hoseok so damn frustrating, but the conundrum that was his friend only caused Taehyung to fall for him more. Taehyung could sense that he was slipping further and further into an abyss filled with Hoseok’s essence, and it was becoming harder to escape him.

“Oh, look what my mom found,” Hoseok rolled over and grabbed a book from the side of his bed. “She made some scrapbook of us from when we were little. She never finished it, but she put in some nice photos of us.”

He gave the book to Taehyung who thumbed through the pages of photos from when the two were younger, playing on a jungle gym, eating cake at a birthday party, sleeping on the floor together.

“You’re the only person who’s stuck around with me this long,” Hoseok said. He held out his pinky finger to Taehyung. “Pinky swear you’ll never leave me?”

Taehyung laughed. “Pinky swear? What are we? Five?”

“Pinky swear, goddamnit,” he demanded.

He sighed and wrapped his finger around Hoseok’s. “Pinky swear.”

After an entire year of anticipation, the end-of-school camping trip had finally arrived. Taehyung packed all of his clothes a week before the trip and he carefully checked that he had every belonging that he could possibly need. He was so excited about the trip that he barely got any sleep the night before departure.

After waiting an hour outside of the school, the bus arrived to transport the students to their destination. The drive on the bus wasn’t the most pleasurable thing he had experienced in his life. The bus was old and everyone’s belongings spilled out of the overhead cabin every time the bus hit a few bumps. Not to mention the students departed from the school before the crack of dawn, which made everyone too grumpy and tired to deal with the slight inconveniences peacefully. By the time the bus traveled on smoother road, most of the students and chaperones were asleep. Taehyung kept himself awake due to his habit of talking in his sleep and drew lightly on Yoongi’s sleeping face to pass the time.

The bus finally came to the camp and the students awoke and began grabbing their belongings. Yoongi yawned and rubbed his hands on his face, smearing Taehyung’s artwork in the process. Everyone filed off the bus and walked to a cabin where a man and a woman were standing. They couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, but they both wore horribly outdated jackets, and jeans that reemerged from the nineties.

“What’s up everyone?” The woman yelled excitedly at the students. The students groaned a hello.

“I don’t think that was loud enough. Can I get another hello?” The man demanded. The students only groaned slightly louder.

“Seems we have a tired bunch on our hands. We’ll just have to wake you all up some more, but in the meantime, my name’s Yoonmi aka ‘Little Mi,’ and this is my friend Swag Master Z, and we’re here to help you have a fun, swag filled weekend!”

Taehyung could hear a girl mutter “Oh my god” under her breath.

After a couple more minutes of suffering through the camp counselors’ slang filled speech, the students were paired off into groups. Taehyung was placed with Yoongi who proved to be useless when they had to set up the tent, nor was he helpful when they had to learn how to start a fire, or when they had to go through the safety procedures. Yoongi was just a very unhelpful person, and it made Taehyung incredibly satisfied knowing that his friend had walked around the entire day with smudged drawings on his face. Yoongi didn’t even know anything was wrong till three o’clock. It was beautiful.

After the day’s duties were finished and Yoongi successfully attacked Taehyung, the two frenemies found the rest of their crew sitting at the edge of the lake with some other boys from school.

“Yoongi, are you still on for tonight?” Jimin asked. Yoongi sighed and sat down next to Hoseok.

“What’s on for tonight?” Taehyung asked.

 “We were going to sneak over to the girls’ side of the lake for a little fun,” Yoongi explained. Taehyung glanced over at the girls sitting on the dock, wading their feet in the water.

“Look at ‘em,” Yoongi said, admiring the girls, “all fine and pretty, lookin’ like they need a taste of Suga.”

Taehyung scowled at the sleaziness of his friend.

“But,” Yoongi began again, “there’s some type of hike tonight, so we’ll have to push our little rendezvous to tomorrow.”

“How exactly are we not going to get caught in this little scheme of yours, Yoongi?” Taehyung asked.

Yoongi cracked his knuckles and began describing how all the adults could be avoided. Apparently only one adult would be left with the students at night for each side of the lake. Fortunately, Mr. Blackman would stay on the boys’ side, which meant that Namjoon’s unquenchable thirst could be used for the good of the students. Namjoon would begin peppering Mr. Blackman with questions about hip-hop while one of Yoongi’s goons on the girls’ side would distract the other chaperone. From there, the boys would sneak onto the girls’ side and lead them to the thicket of the forest where another of Yoongi’s assailants would deliver the booze and the Monopoly game.

Hoseok pinched Taehyung’s side. “Are you participating in his little plan?”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. It depends on how rebellious I feel tomorrow.”

Hoseok smiled at him. “Come, it’ll be fun.”

Taehyung shrugged again, but he knew he’d come along if Hoseok were there, no matter how great the risk was.

The moonlight stroll was a two-hour long walking tour up the mountain. The students were supposed to learn about the various plant and animal species, and were encouraged to pick up any pinecones they saw so they could later analyze them. It was incredibly mind numbing, but they were promised a very accommodating cabin that the students would spend the night at.

Taehyung walked in the back with Namjoon and Mr. Blackman, watching as the others constantly tripped on hidden stones and ditches, and discussing future lesson plans and upcoming albums. After what felt like hours of boring rhetoric about flowers, Little Mi and Swag Master Z guided them to an oak tree, etched with hearts and initials that towered feet above them.

“This is the Love Tree. Legend says that anyone who writes their and their lover’s initials here will stay together for ever,” Little Mi explained.

Everyone gathered around the tree and examined the markings. The camp leaders handed out small carving knives and the students began marking the tree with their initials. Mr. Blackman kneeled down and began examining the tree. Namjoon asked him what he was searching for and eventually he motioned the boys down to kneel with him.

“Here’s the initials I left here fifteen years ago,” Mr. Blackman said. On the tree was a “BY + GS” wrapped in a heart.

“What was her name?” Taehyung asked.

“Soeun. She was my first love. I guess the tree didn’t work that well with my relationship,” Mr. Blackman said. He kneeled a little longer as if he were reminiscing, and then stood back up.

Taehyung’s curiosity took over him. He forgot that teachers were capable of love too.

“What happened to her? If you don’t me asking,” Taehyung probed.

“It’s fine,” Mr. Blackman reassured him. “We had to part ways. She wanted to go to university in France. I wanted to go to California to meet up with some studio execs about producing my album. We wanted different things out of life, and so we parted ways.”

Mr. Blackman stayed quiet for some time as he stared at the tree. “I wonder sometimes if that was the right decision to make. Not following her to France. My rap career didn’t work out too well. I’m here babysitting teenagers at a camp now.” Mr. Blackman playfully ruffled the boys’ hair. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to.”

Taehyung thought about Mr. Blackman’s failure with Soeun. It scared him a bit to think about things not working out with Hoseok. He had never planned what he would do if he if Hoseok and him fell apart.

The group eventually began to disperse and continue on the trail. Taehyung looked down to find one of the carving knives on the ground. He picked it up and searched for a somewhat blank space on the tree. He found spot a little above his head and carved into the tree.

When he finished, he jogged a little to catch up with his group. He felt satisfied that the declaration of his love for Hoseok on the tree would last forever.

The students spent the night in the cabin. The “accommodating” cabin possessed no beds and there weren’t even enough sleeping bags for everyone. Taehyung slept uncomfortably in a pile of guys who were all sharing one blanket. Jimin’s was next to his face the entire night. It was terrible.

Everyone hiked back down the mountain the next morning, exhausted and sore from the sleepless night before. The students then separated into groups to go fishing. Taehyung was placed with Yoongi again, and Taehyung did all of the fishing as expected. Yoongi slept for most of the time until Taehyung threw a fish on him. After fishing came rock climbing, something Taehyung dreaded. His fear of heights kept him from enjoying the activity. He almost fainted when he made it to the top. Afterwards, everyone went rowing, the most difficult of all the activities. The students had to row for three miles down the river, and it was absolutely exhausting. By the time Taehyung arrived at his tent, his back was sore, his legs felt weak, and his feet earned painful blisters. He slept for a couple of hours before Yoongi awakened him.

“Come on man, we have to sneak over to the other side now,” Yoongi whispered.

Taehyung groaned and peeled his aching body from the ground and followed Yoongi to the other side of the lake and into the forest. After a long walk through the forest, they came to a clearing on the edge of the lake. Everyone was standing around talking with beers in hand. Yoongi walked over to two girls sitting on an old picnic table. He began flirting with them and boasting about how he was able to orchestrate his gathering. Taehyung walked away and talked to Hoseok and some other people for a while. He found an icebox and grabbed a wine cooler from it. It was Raspberry Lemonade flavored and it was absolutely delicious. Jimin said wine coolers were for twelve-year-old girls, but Taehyung ignored him and kept drinking. Five wine coolers and one beer later, Taehyung felt somewhat lightheaded and needed to pee. He wandered away from the people and found a bush to relieve himself. He then found a spot by the lake and sat down. He stared at the water for a bit before he lay down. The fatigue from the day still weighed heavily on him. He looked at the stars before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

“You okay?” Taehyung could hear Hoseok say. He opened his eyes to see him standing over him. He mumbled a “yeah” before sitting up.

Hoseok sat next to him and waded his bare feet in the water. “I came to make sure you were all right. This is the most I’ve ever seen you drink.”

Taehyung grunted. “The beer tasted great after my tongue was coated with the sugar from the wine coolers.”

The boys discussed their usual topics. Hoseok eventually began a speech about how great the moon was because he watched some movie it. With anyone else, Taehyung would have found the conversation boring, but it was Hoseok so he was intrigued. And Taehyung could appreciate the moon and the way its light illuminated Hoseok’s features. He always found Hoseok handsome, but that night there’s was something so special about him. His hair glistened, his skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, and his eyes sparkled as he discussed lunar eclipses. Taehyung wanted to kiss Hoseok badly, more so than anyone other night he spent with him. He wanted to feel the softness of Hoseok’s lips on his. He wanted to run his hands through Hoseok’s hair. He wanted to be close to him, closer than he’d ever been before.

When Hoseok looked at him to ask a question, Taehyung took the opportunity to place his lips on to his beloved. It was a quick and rash decision, something Taehyung would never think of doing normally, but he couldn’t resist him that night. The beating of his heart became the only thing he could hear, and the sweat on his palms increased. He could feel it was becoming harder to breathe, but he didn’t want to detach himself from Hoseok. He lingered a while longer, appreciating the way Hoseok’s lips tasted before separating. Taehyung opened his eyes to see Hoseok wearing a blank expression. They made eye contact a bit before Hoseok looked down.

“You’re drunk, Taehyung,” Hoseok said. He spoke so softly. It was almost as if he said nothing at all.

“I’m not drunk. I love you,” Taehyung pleaded. The majority of the beer and wine coolers lost the effect on him and he felt cognitive. He could feel all his limbs and his brain wasn’t foggy. He didn’t kiss Hoseok because he was drunk. He kissed Hoseok because he loved him.

“You’re drunk, Taehyung. Go get some sleep.” Hoseok stood up and walked away from him quickly.

Taehyung watched his figure disappear amongst the partygoers and into the woods. Never in his life had Taehyung felt so horrible. His entire body shook and he felt cold even though there was no breeze that night. He couldn’t control the thoughts that raced through his mind. After some time, he realized that Hoseok didn’t love him, and he never would. It was stupid for him to think that anything could happen between the two. He had probably ruined his friendship with Hoseok, and his heart ached from the thought of it.  

By the time Yoongi found Taehyung at the edge of the lake, his tears had dried, and he could cry no more.