Cherry Garcia was finally on her way home. As usual, her day at the textile factory droned on and on. After her 10 -hour shift she is exhausted, both mentally and physically. Having to think about how hapless her monetary situation really was adds to the frustration Cherry burdens ever day. Money is something she and her son don’t have. All her life Cherry had to struggle to remove herself from the quagmire, which was poverty.

Three decades and a son later, she feels like she really has never gotten anywhere. She is still very much in the thick of the struggle and her feet are still in the bottom of the pit.

Cherry is only 36, but her dreary face made her look almost 10 years older. Her rather pudgy figure causes more physical strain to her now rather than a sign of abundance or good health. She could already have diabetes but she was too chicken to know.

As she walks the long, dark alley of her Tondo residence, she clutches her bag tightly. Immune as she was with the grimy, crime-ridden environment of her hometown, she can’t help but be extra cautious during the 15th and the 30th of the month. It’s payday and the crime sharks can smell blood from miles away.

Times like these where she could carry a little bit of extra cash with her, Cherry already has plans for her money. Like any mother, whatever little she has she will have to set aside for her son.

Cherry reaches a dimly lit corner and the only light that can be seen is from Aling Nena’s sari-sari store. A thought enters her mind. Cherry suddenly decides to make a beeline to the convenience store.

“Hello, good evening!” Cherry greeted to the waifish girl tending the small, makeshift stall.

“Hello din po!” greeted the girl.

She is almost 18, just like Gerald, Cherry guesses. Her name is Karen and she is her inaanak*. Karen is Gerald’s childhood friend. Cherry treats their family as like her own extended family. Karen's parents Nena and Ramon had been Cherry's childhood friends too. Together, the Garcias and the Pascuals had shared generations of hardships in Tondo.

“Karen, can you please give me a litre of your ice-cold Coke!” said Cherry excitedly.

“Naks, ninang, looks like you have much money today!” responded Karen.

“Not really...I was able to take home a little bit extra today from my overtime,” Cherry answered contritely.

“What’s the celebration, ninang?”

“I wanted to surprise Gerald...” Cherry revealed. “We weren’t able to celebrate his birthday last week so I was thinking I’d cook something for him today.”

“Really? Is that why?” said Karen cheerfully. “Here then, I’ll add a couple ice bags for your softdrink!”

“Thanks Karen!” said Cherry. “I think I’ll cook pansit* tonight. Why don’t you come by for dinner?”

“Thanks, ninang. But nanay* is not here, she is at auntie Josie’s house. I’ll have to watch over the store tonight.”

“In that case, I’ll have Gerald bring you over a plate then...”

“Thanks, ninang. Please, tell Gerald belated happy birthday.”

“I will...” promised Cherry.

Karen is a very likeable girl. Cherry thinks she is pretty in her own way. Her young skin is smooth and blemish-free despite her olive complexion.

Karen and Gerald had been playmates when they were younger. There were times before that Karen is at their house almost every day. Cherry took on to the little sprightly girl like she was her own daughter. Other than her, Karen is probably the only person Cherry knows that understands her son better than anybody else.

When they were kids, Gerald and Karen were inseparable. However, as they grew older, they grew further apart. It didn’t help the fact that Gerald stopped schooling when he finished sixth grade. Karen began seeing other kids and began having new sets of high school friends. Gerald, meanwhile, remained the recluse that he was.

Once in a while, Cherry would see Karen pay Gerald a visit. They would have a little chat every now and then. But then again, even that seemed to be happening less and less over the years.

Cherry finally reached their small shanty. The door creaked as she opened it. She was hoping to find Gerald on the bamboo sofa, but he wasn’t there. Instead, she finds their table for two already set neatly. But there wasn't any food prepared.

“Gerald, where are you?” Cherry shouted.

There was no answer. She called out again. Still, no answer. Cherry began to panic.

Suddenly, she heard creaking and scampering from the roof. Cherry immediately ran outside, along the way, grabbing a two-by-two plywood from behind the door. Her initial reaction was that there might be akyat-bahay* gang members hiding on their roof.

She held on to the piece of wood like a baseball bat. She was ready to pounce on anyone that would come down from the roof.

“Nay, wait, it’s just me...” yelled her son, Gerald, as he deftly climbs down from the galvanized iron roof.

“You almost gave me a fright,” said Cherry. “What the heck are you doing there?”

“I was just looking at the stars...” Gerald answered. “I guess I might have dozed off...”

“How long were you up there?” asked Cherry.

“Probably...a couple hours,” Gerald said as he places his arms around Cherry to calm her down.

They enter their box of a house. Gerald immediately makes his way to his favourite spot. By the window where the light is ample, he settles himself to survey his new selection of books. On the small melamine-topped side table is a stack of old books with titles ranging from philosophy to physics. He is a voracious reader.

Gerald just turned 18 a week ago. Cherry marvels at how her son has grown up to be as handsome as he is right now. His big, bright eyes spell both innocence and an inner cleverness only unique to him. He is tall and well-toned. His wavy hair is tousled most of the time because of his habit of not combing his hair. Signs of facial hair peppered his clear and gentle face.

Even though he is reading most of the time, Gerald never forgets his daily chores. He is not a lazy boy at all. In fact, he works everyday to help with their household income.

“How is your work today?” Cherry asked.

“Fine...” Gerald mumbled. His eyes were now glued to the book he fancied, “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra.

“Anything exciting happened?” Cherry pried.

“Nothing much...”

Times like that, Cherry knew she won’t get anywhere with him. He is much too lost in his dreamworld. She can only sigh in dismay as she watches him flip a page every ten seconds. Instead, Cherry decides to focus her thoughts in cooking their special dinner.

Gerald works as a water-refilling station attendant. He doesn’t earn much from his job but Cherry knew that the reason why he took the job was so that he can read during his free time. She can’t complain because she knows her son is not the type to work in a structured environment. He would be bored to death like the many times he tried before. She knows that such goes with the territory of having a special child. They usually have very short attention spans.

Special...that is the term people use to describe Gerald. Cherry knew that her son was intelligent from before, but she never really expected him to be like this.

Gerald graduated as the class valedictorian in their local elementary school, just like Cherry did when she was younger. She knew then that her son was wise beyond his years. Even his elementary teachers would say that his mental capacity is that of a gifted child. For a while, Cherry dreamt of sending her son to a special school for gifted children.

However, when her drunkard husband got jailed for kidnapping six years ago, Gerald had to stop his schooling. She promised her son every year that she will re-start his education but all of that became empty promises. Cherry could not even afford to send him to high school, much more so a special school.

However, their condition never stopped Gerald from learning. Instead, he filled his time reading. He spent most of his idle hours in a small, rundown local library four blocks away from their house. In a year’s time he finished reading all of their books. Reading and learning is so natural to Gerald. It was almost second nature for him. He thirsted for knowledge in a way Cherry could never really understand.

Every day, her son would bring in book after book and you won’t find him doing anything else but read books. They have a small TV but he does not pay attention to it. Music, he doesn’t really care much for. They have a small radio but he hardly listens to it. He said he finds songs these days too noisy.

“Nay, please don’t add any meat on the pansit!” Gerald called out from his reading nook.

He must have read her mind because Cherry almost forgot. She almsot added the pork slices into the mix. However, it was already too late for the beef. She immediately added soy sauce to mask the smell of it.

These days, Gerald decided he wanted to eat vegetable products only. He didn’t want to touch or taste any dead animals on their food, nor any of their by-products. He wasn't a picky eater when he was younger but he never was too attached to eating meat products even then.

He explained it to her one time why, but Cherry never really paid attention to it. She remembered he said that it has something to do with how animal meat affects people’s feelings...or something to that extent.

“Inay, I can smell beef...” he once again shouted.

“Ge, it will not be special without beef and pork!” Cherry shouted back.

“It will be better without them...trust me, ” he yelled as his eyes never left the book.

But like any loving mother, Cherry complied with his request without question. She immediately fished out the beef strips she had placed in the mix. She reckoned it would probably good for her too. She needed to eat healthily anyhow.

“Smells good now...” Gerald commented.

“Better take a shower before you eat,” reminded Cherry. “I bought softdrinks...”

“Nay, softdrinks are bad for you...”

“Not if you drink it only once in a while...” Cherry argued.

“Of course it is, didn’t you know that the caffeine in softdrinks can make your bones brittle?” Gerald answered.

“Whatever...” Cherry said.

That is the downside of having a very intelligent son. You can never win an argument.

Gerald gave his mother a warm smile as he stepped into his room to change. Moments later, he stepped out, freshened up. By this time, Cherry had finished cooking their meal.

To her surprise, Gerald hugged her from behind and handed her a rose.

“What is this for?” Cherry asked.

“Nothing much...I saw Mang Jerry pass by earlier selling this. I just thought it would be nice if I’d give you a rose...” Gerald answered.

Cherry wanted to smile but if she did, tears will fall from her eyes. “I love you, anak...”

“I love you too, mom...” Gerald said. “I promise you, next year, I’ll get a job at a call center. Then, I’ll finish my high school via that government sponsored home-study program...then, we'll be rich and more importantly, you won't have to work anymore.”

Cherry bit her lip. She felt guilty at how much her son had to struggle to get the normal things other kids get out of a whim. Her son deserved more and she knows that. That is what’s killing her.

“Mom, don't worry...we’ll be okay...” Gerald said as he senses his mom’s change of mood.

“Yes...we will be.” Cherry answered with a glimmer of hope. “By the way, belated happy birthday...”

“Thanks nay...” Gerald responded with a tighter hug.

For Cherry, that hug made up for every hardship she had to go through in life. Yes, she may have been unlucky in some ways. But she sure is lucky to have a son like him that loves her unconditionally. She must have done something good in the past to deserve him.

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In a city far away from Tondo, a Mercedes Benz pulled into an expansive driveway.

From it emerged a tall, lady in a sleek business suit. She is exhausted as well. On her face is a look of contempt.

She is Arlene Santos, 35 years old. Many of her friends call her by her nickname, Agot. Most of the people would give probably an arm and a leg to be where she was right now. She is a successful psychiatrist, wife of a very successful businessman, mother of three kids, have money to last her several lifetimes...what more could she ask for, right?

But to Agot, her life is a rut. She felt trapped and confused in her hurried existence. Everything around her seems to be happening all at once and all in this furious, sickening pace that all Agot wanted to do is to make everything stop...to give her a chance to catch her breath.

But life rolls on even faster for the rich. Once you're in the top of the foodchain, you never would want to go down from it.

"Manong Joey...please bring have yaya take my suitcase to my room!" Agot ordered the driver.

"Yes, maam..." answered her old, trusty driver.

Suddenly, a tiny little head greeted her at the door. It was her youngest child, Kenneth.

“Mm- mommy...cho...colates?” he said in slurred speech.

“Oh! Sorry, baby, mommy forgot to pass by the store...” Agot said as she ushered the young boy in. "why didn't you ask yaya to remind me?"

Kenneth was already four and he can barely communicate.
Agot knew that Kenneth wasn't capable of asking his yaya to call her, but she sure couldn't handle any sort of guilt trip from him. She quickly deflected the blame to him.

Agot suddenly notes a slight dismay cross Ken's appearance. She felt guilty anyway.

“Yaya Rita! Can you make Kenneth a chocolate muffin?” shouted Agot from the foyer.

The young boy’s face lights up. “Wow..that's my...favorite!”

Agot quickly bends down and gives him a peck on the cheek. The boy responds with a hug. She was almost glad to see the boy run towards the kitchen.

Agot wasn’t particularly proud at the fact that she had to dodge her kids’ attention away at times, but during these moments where she was so mentally tired from work, she barely has any energy left to deal with simple toddler’s whims. That's what yayas are for.

“Why can he have sweets before dinner while I can’t?!” complained a voice from the top of the stairs. It was John Paul, her second born.

“Darling, you can just come down from there and ask your yaya to make you one too...” sighed Agot.

“It’s unfair...you're only saying that now because you know I heard you...” said John Paul. "You let Kenneth get away with everything..."

"Darling, mom is too tired to argue right now..." Agot said.

Sibling rivalry between the two boys had been a long drawn out struggle for her. She knows she must act out on it soon. But not today, digressed Agot.

"You're unfair!" John Paul said as he stomped his feet.

John Paul is the exact opposite of Kenneth. He is only 11 but he is already too outspoken and opinionated for his own good. He is particularly listless and rebellious all the time. His clever face denotes an innate mischievousness Agot is really wary of. It’s probably only a matter of time when he himself will cause many troubles. Much like her eldest and only daughter, Kim, is doing now.

“Is your dad here?” Agot asked.

“No, not yet...” John Paul answered as he hastily made his way done the carpeted stairs. "He's always late..."

“How many times do I have to tell you no running down the stairs!” Agot wailed after him.

The boy ignored her as if she wasn’t there.

So much for being a psychiatrist. As successful as she was processing and making sense of other people’s problems and sob stories...here she was, barely holding on to her own family. Despite the squeaky clean exterior, their family life is in shambles. She has adorable kids that she could not seem to make a connection with. She has a husband that seemed to spend more time at work than at home. She has been working like a robot for almost a decade now. It was like a never ending cycle of struggles and frustrations that she doesn’t quite know how to undo or stop.

When she was a kid, Agot thought having a family means having people around her that will love her. How come she is feeling more alone now than she has ever been her whole life? Had she known that this was the case, she would have spent her days in a convent instead.

She drearily dragged her tired feet up the flight of stairs. She had one more thing she had to resolve.

Agot knocked on the first door on the left of the large hallway. It was her daughter Kim’s room. She can already hear loud rock and roll music playing in the background from several steps away.

“Kim! Kim!” Agot shouted as she neared the entrance.

“What is it?!” Kim answered irritably from the door. She opened it slightly sticking her head out. She has a cordless phone on her other ear.

“Can I come in?” Agot said firmly. “I want to talk to you...”

“Can it wait, mom?” Kim said. “I have Trish on hold.”

Agot immediately flashed her a livid look.

“Trish, I’ll call you back...” Kim said to the caller, then she opened her door for her mom to enter.

Agot was so surprised with what she saw inside her daughter’s room. It had been years since the last time she came into that room. What used to be a neat and girly room is now messy and gloomy. Posters of dark and scary characters filled the walls. She almost expected graffiti but thankfully, there wasn't any.

“What did you do to your room?”

“Mom, it’s my room I can do anything I want to it...”

“It’s my house...” Agot snapped back. “and I can do anything I want to it...Tomorrow, I’ll have your yaya* clean your room...”

“What? Mom, this is what I want my room to look like!” Kim shouted back.

“It’s looks like a hurricane came in here!”

“So what? Why do you always have to meddle with my life?” Kim said in exasperation.

Agot can merely sigh. With Kim, she must choose her battles carefully. She is her daughter after all and Kim can be just as stubborn as she was.

“Okay...okay...but please always tidy up your bed...” said Agot. “You’re a young lady now...you must start making your own bed. You’re Yaya Lucy will not be there all the time to help you out.”

“Sorry, mom, I must have missed your seminar on proper bed-making...” Kim answered haughtily.

Agot wasn’t able to control herself. A crisp slap lands on Kim’s face.

“S-sorry...Kim, anak, I’m sorry....” Agot said.

“Are you done now?” Kim answered back, her eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry, Kimmy...” Agot said. “I got carried away...”

Agot wanted to reach out to her daughter but Kim stepped back away from her and slumped hereself into her bed.

“Why did you come here?” Kim asked, putting her head in her drawn-up knees.

“I was just worried because your teacher called. She said you missed your classes today...”

“Yes, I did...I cut classes from time to time...now you know...” Kim answered.

“Kimmy naman...why did you do that? Did you and Aki go out? Did he force you to do it?”

“Mom, what I do with my life is none of your business...”

“But, it is my business...because you are still under my care. As long as you’re in my house you follow what I say...I’m the one paying this much to give you the best education you can get...yet you choose to waste it away...”

“Don’t worry...I’ll pay you once I graduate...”

“Yeah right,” Agot said furiously. “At the rate you’re going, you’re lucky if you’ll even make it past your first year of college. Your dean called me at my office earlier, she said you are failing in two of your major subjects. IF you don’t pass the finals you’ll have to take summer school...”

“What?” Kim exclaimed. “I don’t believe this!”

“You better believe it, young lady!” Agot added. “You better clean up your act now...”

Kim did not answer back anymore. She perhaps realized that she actually went further than she should.

Agot finally took a moment to look at her daughter. Where have the years gone? She is now 17 years old. The last memory she had of her was when she was still in pink tutu and pigtails. Has it been that long since she last had a tangible moment with her daughter? She seemed so...angry. Where have her little princess gone?

The answer was staring right at her face. Kim is no longer the little child she can easily sway. Through the years, she has grown a mind of her own. Unfortunately, the person that Kim was now seems to abhor every bit of her own mother.

Kim is still pretty and charming most of the times. She has this uncanny ability of bringing people to her side...to her defence. She can be a bit manipulative especially if she decides to use her charms to her advantage. Despite of being a brat sometimes, Agot is still thankful that she hasn’t come home with any tattoo or any wierd body piercings yet. She prays every day that such will not happen ever. But knowing Kim, it's only a matter of time too.

“I’d better call Aki!” Agot said.

Aquilino “Aki” Guttierez is Kim’s boyfriend. He and Kim had been friends for years. He is their godson and Aki’s parents are business partners with Agot’s husband Enric.

She couldn’t be any more happy with their blossoming friendship. If things play up well, Kim’s future is in good hands. Agot sees Aki as sensible young man. HE seemed to have this innate command of the things around him. A natural born leader. However, Agot was afraid that he too will tire of her obnoxious ways. She wants to make sure she doesn't destroy a particularly good union by being so obstinate.

“Mom, Aki, didn’t have anything to do with it...” Kim confessed. “I asked him to skip classes...”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because, I was bored...plus the teacher was talking so much ...”

“We don’t use that word in this house...”

“Sorry...it was just that he was talking so much bull...” Kim blabbered.

“Okay...okay...I get the picturem but you shouldn’t have cut classes..”

“You didn’t let me finish...” Kim bellowed. “Why do you always do that? why do you treat me like your patients...”

“Because I know aleady what you want to say....” Agot said.

"But you don't..." she murmured to herself. Kim instead turned silent. There is no way she can win an argument with one of the Philippine’s most renowned shrinks.

“Kimmy, I’m your mom...” Agot said. “I know what’s best for you...”

“But you can’t just be mom whenever you feel like it...” Kim answered softly but she was determined to let Agot hear every hurtful word of it.

Agot was shocked. Having to hear that from her only daughter makes Agot question her being a parent. Had she really been that bad of a mother to her? Deep inside Agot knows that she has been far from a perfect mother to Kim or any of her kids. As a psychologist, she may have ideas and theories on how and why her kids act that way, but in reality... she barely knows any of them. She suddenly feels cold.

“Mom...I want to be alone...” Kim begged, still sobbing.

Agot nodded. She then hastily made her way out of her room, closing the door firmly behind her. She immediately retreated to her own bedroom.

Once there, Agot fished out the much needed cigarettes from her bag. With trembled hands, she lit the with much determination.

As the smoke filled her lungs, Agot can only wish her life was different. She wished she didn’t have to hurt any of them at all.
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*inaanak - goddaughter or godson.
*ninang - godmother.
*pansit – chow mien; noodle dish.
*nanay/ inay/ nay – mother.
*yaya - househelp
*akyat-bahay gang - a gang specializing in breaking in houses and pawning off their loot.