The First Feather: Thank You Oppa!

Forget Me Not: Journey Of Memories
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JOON'S POV:   We were all having chats about the things we were wearing. Mostly, the girls had to add extra effort for them to get noticed. While everyone was having fun, I can't help but feel distracted as ever. I have this feeling that someone is watching us.   As I was sitting on one chair in the huge living room,I glance out the window to take a peek at the skies of Celes. Before my eyes even reached the skies, it got caught by a strange figure standing behind the tree, watching us.   I shot out from my seat and exclaimed, "ACK!" as my finger pointed him, I casted a spell mentally and rapidly before he could even escape. 'Ad retia pisces, ut caperent damnatorum fati vinctum catenis vinctus, qui iure suo loco post figuram (The nets that trap the lost fishes of destiny, the chains that bound a prisoner to its right place, come after that figure)' And a jet of light shot away from my fingers and then hit the black of THAT figure, the light tieing him like a sausage.   I ran out the palace, and shocked and confused, they all followed me. I still find it funny. The figure tries to struggle to get out of the rope, but fails. "Who are you?" I asked as HE kept looking down, and breathed heavily snce a black mask covered half of his face. "I asked you. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU WATCHING US?!" My voice rose up and i grabbed the black piece of cloth that hid his identity.   'ARE MY EYES DECEIVING ME?! JUNG... JUNG JINYOUNG?!' "JUNG JINYOUNG?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! EAVESDROPPING ON US?!" I yelled at him, as I was about to subconsciously raise my balled up fist to his face, an arm stopped me.   _____'S POV:   'A man? Who is he?' As Joon-oppa yelled at him, I can't help but feel like I had to stop him from yelling at the guy. I felt a familiar feeling... Like I was, or USED TO BE protecting THIS GUY. Then his gaze met my eyes. 'H-he's looking at me?!' His eyes... are like a Fox's.   'Jinyoung... SO that's his name?' I thought. As I saw Joon-oppa hold his fist on the air, I found no one was trying to stop him. 'WAE? Is this guy SO BAD that they wnat Joon-oppa to beat him up?!' I thought stupidly, even if I do not knowning what was going on, more so, I don't even know THIS GUY!   I don't know whatcame over me, but I grabbed Joon-oppa's arm as he swung it on the air, just before it hit his face. "O-oppa, no." I even stuttered. 'Damn! Why did I even sto Joon-oppa?!' I face palmed myself as I turned to face the Jinyoung guy.   "_____-ah. You don't remember me, right?" As he lookedat me with pleading eyes, I can't help but soften at his words. 'Was I even suppose dto know you, Jinyoung?' I thought as I sat on the ground, and looked back to the others who looked at me with their eyes almost popping out and their jaws dropped. Without further due, I casted a spell, even without their permission, I knew I HAD TO. Or maybe I FELT LIKE I HAD TO? "Chordae in alica casted liceat detraxerint eos, et fregisset release avis alae, ostendere veram intentionem. (The strings of a casted spell, let me pull them away, and release a bird with its broken wings, to reveal his true intention.)"   As I finished, the string of light untied itself and vanished into thin air, releasing Jinyoung. "____-ah!" He exclaimed sadly as he held me in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry if I've forgotten about who you are." I pulled away as I faced him in embarassment. "But why do we have the same last names? Are you related to me? Are you one of those people who wants to harm me?" I bombarded him with question
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Little-Red
P.S. If you'd all like to read my other fics, YOu'RE ALL WELCOME AND LOVE DIF YOU DO SO~ LOL! XD

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Vampirexy192
#1
Chapter 11: Oh yeah, I know I comment too much on this but I just wanna add, no need to emphasize too much on every word that seems unnecessary like you give in a bold font or capital letter and reduce the 3 period symbol. It just dragging your sentence. Probably it was a habit to put three dots at the end of sentence. xD Maybe, I assumed. It's okay, everyone make a mistake that they unconsciously did. Even me, myself ^_^ But if you still keep it, it's fine. Everyone has their own styles to write. :D
Vampirexy192
#2
Chapter 11: First of all, I want to say that the colors actually distract me. I don't mind, it was colorful indeed but I would suggest you do not use yellow color because I couldn't see the word clearly. >.> And I preferred if you name the female main character so you wouldn't have to keep it blank in all you story. Also, the thoughts of a person and the person conversation should be distinguished. Like we can tell that it was her thoughts or she was talking. People's point of view is already considered as expressing their inner minds or thoughts. Unless that person voiced out her opinion in her head loudly as if she was talking to herself. That is different. Like you use this for the "conversation" and thoughts, you can use 'this' or in italic words. Oh! Btw in Chapter 11, the protagonist brother had changed from Baro to Jinyoung? o.o What just happened? That actually confused me, I don't know if you had mistakenly written that. Moreover, it was difficult to you know telling their perspectives especially the Lee's brothers. I was rather puzzled because it seems jumbled up to me. Therefore, the flow of the story is a bit disrupted. I'm just giving my comment not because of I hate it, I just want to point out the mistakes so you can improve and become better. :D I hope you don't take any offence from this. However, the plot story was interesting like I can feel European or Victorian kind of style. Classic and vintage. Hahaha. As well as the mystery behind her amnesia and the history of their descendants. :)
exolovechick
#3
yea i was surprised to see exolovechick i would recommend to name the main character but other than that, i am looking forward in reading this fic :)
rukehna #4
scared the crap out of me when i see my username lol
yoonaaegyo
#5
Its realy funny because my username is also yoonaaegyo but otherwise I am looking forward to reading this fanfics :)
ILoveKitCats
#6
Chapter 19: this story is so mysterious . i must keep reading to know the ans .. jinjja daebak !!
chimaniecricket
#7
always sj15forever!!!!
x3Yoongiex3
#8
Chapter 125: i just finished your story & really liked it (:
jonginies #9
okay! ^^
Little-Red
#10
@kpopaholic121: SEE YOU AT THE OTHER STORIES CHINGGU~ :D